learn to speak, learn etiquette

Chapter 5 Learning to Speak Tactfully (1)
[-]. How to pretend to be confused

In life, I often pretend to be confused on the surface, use "fake idiots" to paralyze the enemy, and then turn defense into offense to defeat the enemy and win.

William Harrison, the ninth president of the United States, was very poor when he was a child. He was taciturn. People even thought he was a silly boy. People in his hometown often made fun of him.

For example, hold a nickel and a dime in front of him and tell him to take only one.Every time, Harrison took the five points instead of the dime.

Once, a woman saw how pitiful he was, so she asked him, "Son, don't you really know which one is more valuable?"

Harrison replied, "Of course I do, ma'am, but if I take a dime and they don't put it in front of me again, then I don't even get a nickel."

It can be seen that Harrison is "stupid" on the surface, but "stupid" contains superior wisdom.

When used in debates, Dazhiruoyu refers to pretending not to understand the opponent's fallacies, failing to discover his original intentions, deliberately misinterpreting, absurdly explaining his meaning, and satirizing others.

For example: In the ticket office of an airport, passengers are queuing up to buy tickets. Suddenly, a gentleman rushes to the ticket window to accuse the conductor of working too slowly. When people ask him to line up, he shouts: "What are your names?" ? Don’t know who I am?”

In this regard, the conductor said calmly to the passengers: "Everyone, this gentleman is a little forgetful, and he no longer knows who he is. Otherwise, I don't think he would have acted out of character. Can anyone help him to recall, Who is he?"

The conductor's words aroused bursts of laughter, and the gentleman blushed with shame, and walked away resentfully.

The conductor pretended to be ignorant of the gentleman's uncivility, but he was witty and humorous.

Dazhi Ruoyu is the result of curved thinking, that is, the use of offensive methods that beat around the bush.Therefore, the use of this method can produce powerful ironic and humorous effects, and it is an eloquent technique commonly used by debaters.

There is such a story:
A young man lost his way at a three-way intersection. He casually asked an old farmer, "Hello! Which way to Lijiazhuang and how far is it?"

The old farmer was very dissatisfied with the young man's harsh voice, and it took him a long time to say: "Take the big road for ten thousand feet, and take the small road for seven or eight thousand."

The young man felt strange: "Why is it that the length is not considered here?"

The old farmer smiled and said, "Young man, so you can also speak 'Li' (Li)?"

The young man felt that he was rude and immediately apologized to the old farmer.

The old farmer pretended to be ignorant and used "zhang" to discuss the distance, and it was this seemingly stupid statement.Demonstrated his extraordinary intelligence and debating genius.

[-]. How to make inner square and outer circle

The needle hidden in the cotton, in an easy-to-understand phrase, is soft but hard.Soft means that the tone and attitude are relatively gentle when speaking; hard means that the content expressed in it has a relatively strong element.

During the Spring and Autumn Period, the State of Qin was preparing to attack the State of Zheng. The news was known by Xian Gao, a businessman of the State of Zheng.Xian Gaoyuan planned to go to Qin to do business, but he couldn't bear to suffer losses to his country, so he planned to persuade the general of Qin to change his mind.

Xian Gao knew that if he fought hard against hard, it would definitely backfire.So, he took 4 pieces of cooked cowhide as a gift, and drove 12 more cows to reward Qin Jun.

He pretended to be respectful and said: "The king of our country heard that you will march through our country. He specially sent me to reward your entourage."

What he said was quite polite, it was really soft like cotton, but the needles hidden in the cotton were very hard.The implication is: The news of your sneak attack on Zheng Guo has leaked out, and Zheng Guo is already prepared.Because Qin was strong and Zheng was weak, Zheng Guocai sent envoys to comfort the Qin army as a courtesy.If the state of Qin didn't know each other, then they had to fight each other with swords.

The persuasion method of hiding needles in Xian Khmer really made the general of the Qin army change his mind and withdraw his troops.

The key to using the method of hiding needles in the cotton is that your "needles" must be both hard and accurate, so as to really hit the opponent's vital points and make them feel apprehensive, and they will retreat in spite of difficulties.

During the Spring Festival, the trains are very crowded.A young girl got on the bus halfway, and saw three young people sitting on the two opposite seats, and the side seat was empty, she walked over and asked, "Comrade, is there anyone here?"

The other party said: "No."

The young girl put down her things and prepared to take her seat.Unexpectedly, a young man suddenly put his legs on the seat.The girl was taken aback and asked, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you can't talk."

"So, what should I say?"

The other party narrowed his eyes and pretended to say: "It seems that you are a frog in a well, and you have never seen such a big world. Let the eldest brother tell you, you have to say: 'Brother, is there anyone here? Can I sit here, little sister? "Hahahaha... After finishing speaking, he laughed unscrupulously.

There was a fever on the girl's face, and she really wanted to go up and scratch his big pancake face.But then I thought about it: "No, there is a saying that soldiers come to block, water comes and soil floods. If you play tricks, don't I have eloquence?"

So the girl said: "Listen to you, I have never seen your unique 'polite' way. However, since you have seen the world, you have your own unique 'polite' way. When you see me, you should Do it your 'polite' way."

"What do you propose?"

"Isn't that easy? When you see me coming, you should get up, stand upright, bow to salute, and say: 'Sister, there is no one here. Brother, please do me a favor. Can I sit here?' Cough, it's a pity, you don't even have your own You can't even live up to the credo of 'politeness', and you still want to teach others a lesson. You are really an earthworm in the soil, and you have never seen a blue sky!"

The girl's words made the surrounding passengers laugh.I saw the young man's face turned white and turned red, extremely embarrassed.One of his accomplices hurriedly smoothed things over and said, "please sit down, miss, we can't afford to mess with you."

The clever young man hurriedly said: "Miss, please sit down. In order to reward your eloquence, I decided to get off at the next stop and reward you with this entire seat."

The girl said with a cold face: "This is the people's train. You have no right to award the seat to others, and I have no intention of occupying the seat. One seat is enough!" Then she sat down generously.

This young woman, facing the play, neither became furious, nor was she embarrassed by being teased, but adopted the method of "hiding a needle in the cotton" to defeat the other party.

One day, a diplomat happened to see U.S. President Lincoln polishing his boots. He asked, "Mr. President, do you often polish your own boots?"

Lincoln smiled and said, "Yes, whose boots do you often polish?"

This answer is very powerful.On the surface, he is very gentle and polite, but there is something in his words, which makes the other party very embarrassed.

When using this technique, pay attention to the use of respectful words and euphemisms to win people's hearts with "cotton", and also use rhetorical questions appropriately to clarify one's point of view without forgetting to "hide the needle".

[-]. How to use humor skillfully

Let's take a look at the debate in life first.

Whether or not God is omnipotent has been debated for a long time in ancient times.The theologians of this century once declared: God is omnipresent and omnipotent, and the world is created by this omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipotent God. To this, a philosopher retorted:

"Can God lift a stone that he cannot lift?"

The philosopher cleverly used the dilemma method to make "God" fall into a dilemma, no matter whether he answered "yes" or "no", he couldn't justify himself.

Debate is an art, and there are many ways to use it, but no matter whether it is asking the king to enter the urn, or hiding the situation in the dark, as well as insinuating, using defense as an offense, etc., there is something humorous in it.

Once, Avanti went to the market to buy a donkey, and the place where the donkey was sold was crowded with farmers from the countryside.A well-dressed man passed by and said, "This place is either a farmer or a donkey."

After hearing this, Afanti went up and asked the man:

"Sir, are you a farmer?"

"No, I'm not a farmer."

"what is that?"

"..."

Facing the expression of the well-dressed man, Avanti cleverly used the "either-or" method to ask him to answer, and asked him a few times, making the other party full of embarrassment.

The famous Danish fairy tale writer Andersen lived a frugal life and often wandered the streets wearing a worn-out hat.

One guy laughed at him and said, "What's that thing on top of your head that counts as a hat?"

Andersen replied, "What is that thing under your hat? Can it count as a head?"

Andersen retaliated against his body in the same way as he did, and retaliated with color, making the mocker unable to recover for a long time.

Humor is a powerful weapon in debates.Can skillfully express opinions, control the atmosphere on the field, and create psychological pressure on the opponent.For example, in the debate on "Confucianism can curb the unhealthy trends of the West" in the Second Asian College Debate.On the opposing side, the Fudan University team had this question:
"In the time of Confucius, there were also unhealthy trends. The so-called unhealthy trends have existed from generation to generation, but the changes have been different. When Confucius was the governor of the State of Lu, the State of Qi sent a team of dancers, and Li Huanzi of the State of Lu immediately 'retired for three days'. But for this The unhealthy trend of indulgence, did Confucius resist it? No, he took his students to the exodus."

This piece of defense cleverly uses ancient and modern times, uses allusions, and is relevant and novel. The phrase "brain drain" is a stroke of genius, which has achieved excellent debate results.

Humor is called "humor bomb" by debaters because of its great power. When "humor bomb" is bombed on the field, it often achieves unexpected results.For example, in order to refute the "determinism of food and clothing" of the Cambridge team, the Fudan team slightly changed Pei Duofei's poem: "Life is precious, but love is more expensive; if it is food and clothing, both can be thrown away." It is very convincing. force.Another example, when discussing the issue of AIDS, the Fudan team said humorously: "If anyone fell in love with AIDS, it would probably be 'this hatred will last forever'!"

When debating, humor needs to be relevant and seamless.Generally, some people's names, place names, poems and couplets are used to express affection.Such as:

"We asked each other many times how bad fruits can be produced in good flowers. The other party said that we need to water and fertilize. Then I don't understand. Everyone is blessed with the sunshine and rain. Why are there so many evils rampant in this world? Does this water and that fat still have a soft spot! Why not give evil a chic 'kiss goodbye'?"

The use of humor in debates is an extremely effective winning technique, which can directly reflect the level of knowledge, ideological quality and language expression ability of debaters.Using humor to illustrate or correct an opponent's point of view can produce excellent debate results.

[-]. How to make mistakes

People's educator Tao Xingzhi spoke very humorously.Once, a little gentleman came to him in a hurry and said: "Mr. Tao, I have something important to tell you. Some people eat love as food, and they must rectify it."

When Mr. Tao heard this, he thought for a while, and said word by word: "It's good to eat love, it's very good! I don't object."

The little gentleman was taken aback for a moment and said, "Sir, are you joking?"

"No, I'm not joking, I'm telling the truth." Mr. Tao insisted, "How many meals do you eat a day? How many minutes do you eat each meal?"

"3 meals, 10 minutes each."

"How long did the 3 meals take in total?"

"30 minutes."

"Isn't it extra powerful to study and do things when you are full?"

"Of course it is."

"Okay, if a young man only spends 30 minutes a day in love, and has extra strength in studying and doing things, wouldn't he become a very promising young man? What's wrong with eating love as a meal?"

Mr. Xiao argued: "They are not like what you said. These people fall in love all the time, and they are not happy to do any work. How can this be?"

After listening to Mr. Tao, he smiled and read a doggerel: "I don't feel happy eating and sleeping, I don't work hard when I study and do things, and I refuse to listen to every persuasion. A love letter saved my life!"

The little gentleman and the people around him laughed out loud.Amidst the laughter, Mr. Tao slowly asked: "Are those people you mentioned like this?...Ah, yes! I said, this kind of people claim to be in love first, but in fact they smoke love like a big cigarette." .In our team, people who smoke love like opium have no status."

In this speech, Mr. Tao successfully used the technique of "making mistakes and changing concepts cleverly".

"If you make a mistake, make a mistake" means following what the other party said to be wrong, affirming that his mistake is "right", and saying something that seems "absurd" on the surface, which surprises the listener. "Smartly changing the concept" is to replace the original meaning of the wrong words or things criticized by the other party, and subtly replace them with another meaning with the same literal meaning but different understanding results.Speaking in this way creates suspense, making people feel at a loss at first, and then pointing it out, making people understand immediately. It is humorous and very convincing.

When using the humorous technique of "make mistakes and change concepts cleverly", you should pay attention to three points:
(1) Identify the wrong words.Mistakes should be real and obvious. Mistakes are very clear within the scope of common sense, and everyone can understand them at a glance.That way, you can surprise people when you "make the mistake."

(2) Definitely wrong.It is necessary to calmly affirm the words that are obviously wrong, forming a strong contrast.This is a crucial step in the formation of humor.

(3) Counterattack.Through "smartly changing concepts", the mistakes are completely negated and positive conclusions are drawn, which echoes the previous "make mistakes and make mistakes".

[-]. How to pun

In debates, using the homonym or synonymous relationship in language and characters to make words or sentence patterns involve two things at the same time, saying one thing on the surface, but actually saying the other, is a frequently used pun.Puns can make the expression lively, euphemistic and subtle, chewable, and have an endless aftertaste.

Simodo von Karman is a famous modern aviation master. When he was eighty years old, the US government awarded him the first "National Medal of Science" in the United States.

When von Karman walked down the steps after the award ceremony, he seemed to be struggling due to severe arthritis, and the President of the United States hurried up to help him.After expressing his gratitude to him, von Karman gently pushed away the president's hand and said, "Mr. President, those who walk downhill don't need support, only those who raise their feet and climb can ask for a helping hand."

Here, von Karman borrowed the context and cleverly set up puns. On the surface, he was talking about going downhill and uphill, but in fact, he implied that he hoped that the president would pay more attention to scientific researchers who are working hard to climb to the peak of science under difficult conditions. The meaning is profound. Express well.

As a debating technique, pun is composed of "literal meaning" and "deep meaning".The former is mainly produced by means of semantic or phonetic connections, while the latter can only produce pun effects with the help of sentences, environments, and even entire discourses.The latter meaning is generally implied in the former, and it is this implicit and interesting expression that can give people a sense of surprise.

Once upon a time, a county magistrate rode to Wangzhuang with his entourage to handle official business.When I came to a fork in the road and didn't know how to go, I happened to meet a farmer. The county magistrate asked loudly, "Hey, old man, how do I get to Wangzhuang?" The farmer ignored him and just hurried on.The magistrate yelled at him to stop.The farmer said: "I don't have time, I'm going to Liuzhuang to see a strange thing." The county magistrate asked: "What strange thing?" Really? How could a horse mount an ox? It should be dismounted!" The county magistrate was baffled, but the farmer replied seriously: "There are many strange things in the world, how do I know that animal won't dismount?"

In the face of the rude county magistrate, outright persuasion and scolding are of course useless. The farmer cleverly uses semantic puns to reprimand and satirize, using the literal "beast" to reprimand the county magistrate who does not even know how to behave. The method is very clever.

Puns are a wonderful weapon of debate. When using them, you must adhere to the principle of civilized expression and convince people with reasoning. The style is noble and elegant, and the content is pure and upright. Cursing.

[-]. How to answer cleverly

In a debate, sometimes the other party often asks some weird problems or unreasonable tricky questions, directly and truthfully treats people who are easy to be fooled, and walks into a dead end.

In 1935, at the doctoral dissertation defense meeting at the University of Paris, the French examiner asked a young Chinese student Lu Kanru a strange question: "Why doesn't the poem "The Peacock Flies to the Southwest" say 'The Peacock Flies to the Northwest'?" Lu Kanru In response, he replied: "There are tall buildings in the northwest." Lu quoted a famous line from 19 ancient Chinese poems, "There are tall buildings in the northwest, and the top is as high as the floating clouds."It's really strange to ask, and the answer is ingenious, and everyone is full of laughter.

Let's take another example:
In February 1928, Xia Minghan, a 2-year-old Communist Party member, was unfortunately arrested due to a traitor's informant. The enemy tried all kinds of criminal laws, but they could not make him succumb.During his final interrogation by the KMT, he answered his stupid and crazy enemies with absurd answers:

"What's your last name?"

"Surname Dong."

"Nonsense, your surname is Xia, why is your surname Dong?"

"You call black into white, heaven into earth, murder into mercy, and traitor into patriotism. My surname is Xia, so of course I should say 'Dong'!"

"How old are you?"

"Long live the Communist Party!"

"Nation?"

"Revolutionaries are at home everywhere, and our hometown is the whole world!"

In the face of torture, the hero deliberately made absurd answers, effectively mocking the enemy, and also showing the wisdom of the revolutionaries.

In the debate, answering is a difficult and demanding form of eloquence, and clever answering can be called a sharp weapon in hand-to-hand combat in answering situations.

[-]. How to make twists and turns

In ancient times, a prime minister asked a barber to cut his hair and shave his face.The barber was halfway through shaving the prime minister's face, when he suddenly stopped scraping and stared blankly at the prime minister's belly.

Seeing him like this, the prime minister wondered: what's so interesting about this belly?Just asked:
"You don't shave your face, but you only look at my belly, why is that?"

"People often say that a prime minister can pull a boat in his belly, but I think your lord's belly is not big, how can you pull a boat?"

When the prime minister heard this, he laughed.

"That means the prime minister is the most tolerant, and he can tolerate and don't care about small things."

Hearing this, the barber fell to his knees with a "plop" and cried, "Damn it, you little one! I accidentally shaved off your adult's eyebrows when I was shaving just now. You are very generous, please be kind." Forgive me!"

When the prime minister heard that his eyebrows had been shaved, he couldn't help being furious, and was about to explode, when he thought: I just said that the prime minister is the most powerful, how can I punish him for these things?So, I had to say: "Don't worry, go get the pen and draw on the eyebrows!"

The clever barber saved himself and avoided a catastrophe by using the twists and turns of his speaking skills.

The barber's words went around such a big circle: "Why is the prime minister's stomach so big", which led the prime minister to say that he is the strongest; I accidentally shaved your eyebrows, please forgive the sin of the most powerful prime minister.

(End of this chapter)