learn to speak, learn etiquette

Chapter 6 Learning to Speak Tactfully (2)
It is conceivable that if the barber suddenly mentioned the matter of shaving his eyebrows, the result would be disastrous.This tortuous way of speaking induces the other party to say what he needs, makes him feel that he cannot deny himself, and finally achieves the purpose of the conversation smoothly.

The twists and turns of the speech are generally composed of two parts: asking questions and stating the facts directly.

In the above example, the barber's first question is a set question, which "sets" what he needs the prime minister to say; what he kneels down and says later is a straightforward statement.

Another example, a primary school student asked his father: "Can you forgive me for an accidental negligence?"

Dad replied: "Everyone will have occasional negligence, of course they should be forgiven."

The child immediately said with a sad face: "Yesterday, I accidentally broke your most beloved big vase!"

Dad just wanted to have a seizure, but when he thought of what he said, he could only say: "Forget it, be careful in the future!"

The child's words are also divided into two parts: set questions and straightforward statements.

Consciously learning and training the tortuous speaking skills frequently will be very useful for your communication and handling of affairs.

[-]. How to deftly imitate the connection

In a debate, one can subtly imitate the speech structure of the other party, construct a sentence pattern that is opposite to the semantics of the other party, and produce the effect of isomorphism and contradictory meaning. Using this method can often put the opponent in a difficult situation, making him reap his own fruit and become speechless.

There was a story in ancient Greece:

There was a young speaker who, by virtue of his eloquence, delivered speeches everywhere, ambitiously hunting for fame and fortune.

One day his father exhorted him:

"Son, if this goes on like this, there will be no good results. Tell the truth, and the rich will hate you to death; tell lies, and the poor will not support you. No matter what you say is true or false, either you will be hated by the rich , or be opposed by the common people!"

After hearing this, the son smiled back and said:
"You're wrong. I'll do well. If I tell the truth, the poor will praise me. If I tell lies, the rich will praise me. Whatever I say, I'll be praised."

The orator cites the structure of his father's speech and counterattacks lightly, which destroys the opponent's formation and makes his own argument stand.

Using this method, the key is to answer the conversation quickly, and the structure is the same, but the meaning is contradictory.Let's look at the following story:
A rich man is tricky and mean.Once, a long-term worker accidentally trampled to death a rooster in his family. He took the opportunity to blackmail him and said to the long-term worker: "You trampled to death my rooster that can only lay eggs. You have to pay me the same rooster within three days." A rooster that can lay eggs, otherwise, your wages will be withheld."

The long-term worker came home depressed, his wife asked him why, and told him not to worry, she had her own way.

On the third day, the long-time wife came to the rich man's house.The rich man asked, "Where is your husband? Why doesn't he come?"

The long-time wife replied: "He can't come, he is giving birth at home!"

The rich man shouted: "Nonsense, what kind of children do men have?"

Chang Gong's wife retorted: "Since men cannot bear children, how can roosters lay eggs?
The rich man was speechless and speechless.

This method is widely used in life, and can receive excellent expression results.Educate people, criticize ugliness, and warn future generations.Such occasions as above can receive immediate results.For example:

A: "You are in a paper mill, and you have plenty of paper, why don't you bring me some, it's so boring!"

B: "You are in the bank and have plenty of money, why don't you give me some."

Dexterous imitation is a wonderful way to use one's own way to treat one's body.It is generally divided into two forms: one is to use the other party's words to fight back against the other party; the other is to use the methods and techniques used by the other party to fight back against the other party.When using it, you must first hear the essence and purpose of the other party's words; secondly, analyze the reasons and basis for the other party's attack; finally, use the other party's words or used attack methods to counterattack.

When using this method, you should also pay attention to the occasion and the object. Avoid using this method on friendly occasions with friendly objects.Otherwise, it will easily cause the atmosphere to be uncoordinated and hurt the harmony.

[-]. How to say the opposite

Counter-argument is a method of arguing using statements that actually mean the exact opposite of what they appear to mean.For example, use negative language to express affirmation, use blame language to express gratitude, use derogatory language to express praise, and so on.To put it bluntly, on the surface it is affirmative, but in fact it is negative, and the form is positive but derogatory, forming a language change with ups and downs, revealing the joy of humor.This way of saying one thing and another is widely used in daily life.For example: "He! It's really amazing!" In this sentence, if the end of the sentence is expressed with a zigzag tone, it is a positive statement.

Contrary to the truth plays a big role in the debate.

1.It can flog the ugly and satirize the backward.

The ancient Zhuangzong loved hunting.One day, he led a large number of people to go hunting and trampled down a lot of crops.The local county magistrate came forward to stop it, which aroused Zhuangzong's fury, and the county magistrate refused to accept it.At this time, an actor named Jing Xinmo stood up and scolded loudly:

"As a county magistrate, don't you know that our emperor likes to hunt? Why do you instigate the common people to farm and pay tax to the emperor? Don't you let the common people starve to death, and make the fields here vacant for us Is it for the emperor to gallop for hunting?" After Jing Xinmo finished speaking, he asked Zhuang Zong to execute the county magistrate immediately.Zhuangzong understood his intention and released the county magistrate.Jing Xinmo said otherwise. On the surface, he was training the county magistrate, but in fact he was talking about Zhuang Zong, which made Zhuang Zong realize his mistakes and realize his mistakes.

2.It can be humorous and full of flavor.

A customer was eating in a restaurant, and there was a lot of sand in the rice. The customer spit out the sand and put them on the table one by one. Seeing this, the waiter was very disturbed and asked apologetically, "Is it all sand?" The customer shook his head and said with a smile: " No, there's rice too."

A humorous and witty irony, a well-intentioned and ingenious criticism, resolved the contradictions, increased understanding, and received unexpected results.

3.It can be easy to express and reflect.

For example, Xiao Chen goes to a shopping mall to buy fabrics, and she chooses a large gray checkered fabric.But she found that the opening of the cloth was slanted instead of following the grid, so she asked the salesperson to cut the slanted opening before tearing it.The salesperson said impatiently: "You are so selfish, why don't you think about others?"

Xiao Chen was annoyed when he heard this, and replied: "I'm selfish, of course I want to be selfish. Cloth is ripped for me, not for you, not for others. You are not selfish, and you slanted the good material. You are so considerate of others!" A few words made the salesman speechless.

Xiao Chen grasped what the other party said, used the right words to speak back, and made a fuss about the words "selfish" and "considering others", and his rebuttals were very powerful.The opposite of the truth made Xiao Chen's words have a strong ironic taste, which is much more decent than swearing.

Contrary to the truth can improve the combat effectiveness of the debate language, and it is a powerful weapon to fight back against the opponent, but we must pay attention to the occasion and not abuse it, because it is very aggressive.

Ten, how to surprise

A lady over fifty years old asked George Bernard Shaw, "How old do you think I am?"

"Looking at your crystal teeth, you look 18 years old; looking at your fluffy curly hair, you are 19 years old; looking at your twisted waist, you are at most 14 years old." George Bernard Shaw said solemnly.

The lady laughed happily: "Can you tell me my age accurately?"

"Please add up the 3 numbers I just said."

Mastering unexpected expressions is especially needed in various communication situations.

In daily life and specific situations, some unexpected language is very wonderful.

There was a musician who still often played the violin in prison.On the day before the execution, the jailer asked him: "You will die tomorrow, what are you doing with it today?"

The musician said: "I will die tomorrow. If I don't play today, when will I play?"

To be unexpected is to act ahead of the opponent's thoughts.Debates use this method, which means that the debate should be before the debate on the other party's thoughts, and it is unexpected.

Writer Liu Shaotang gave a speech at Nankai University once, and he gave straightforward answers to various questions raised by students.

A student handed over a note and asked: "Since it is real, it exists, and what exists should be expressed. This means that literary works can be written about anything."

Liu Shaotang took the note and asked which classmate wrote it, and a female classmate stood up from the audience.Seeing that it was a girl, Liu Shaotang joked, "Can you show me your student ID card?"

The female classmate was puzzled.Liu Shaotang said: "I want to see if your student ID card has a photo of sores on your face. I think it is definitely not!"

Liu Shaotang went on to say: "You don't take pictures when you have sores, and you don't paste photos of sores on your student ID card. This shows that you look at the essence of yourself. Because you are beautiful, not being beautiful when you have sores is temporary. Yes, it is not your true face. Certain shortcomings of the Communist Party need to be criticized, but some things have their own special reasons and involve many problems, and measures should be taken by the party to solve them. But you insist It’s impossible to expose it, wouldn’t that require the Communist Party to post photos of the sores on the Communist Party’s work permit?”

This defense fully embodies the technique of "surprise".

It depends on the student's student ID card, and many people must be confused about the relationship between dialogue and defense and student ID card.After Liu Shaotang finished speaking, everyone suddenly realized.This technique is unexpected, ups and downs, and fascinating.

[-]. How to deal with ambiguity

In some special occasions, we often encounter some questions that are inconvenient to answer directly but have to be answered, and questions that cannot be answered for a while but must be answered.At this time, if we use precise language, we often cannot express our thoughts and feelings. At this time, vague responses will come in handy.

During the Southern Qi Dynasty, there was a famous calligrapher Wang Sengqian, who was the fourth-generation grandson of Wang Xizhi in the Jin Dynasty.

At that time, Xiao Daocheng, the great ancestor of the Southern Qi Dynasty, was also good at calligraphy.

One day Qi Taizu proposed to compete with Wang Sengqian in calligraphy.After writing, Taizu Qi proudly asked Wang Sengqian: "Tell me, who is the first? Who is the second?"

Wang Sengqian neither wanted to lower himself nor offend the emperor, he frowned and said: "The calligraphy of my minister is the best among ministers; the calligraphy of your majesty is the best among emperors."

After hearing this, Taizu had no choice but to laugh.

Facing the emperor's tricky questions, Wang Sengqian responded vaguely. The magic is that he can't answer the questions, so that he can get out of the dilemma.

Fuzzy coping has strong flexibility, large shrinkage, and strong attack power. It is a commonly used verbal warfare technique and is widely used in diplomatic negotiations and oral debates in life.

1.It can resolve conflicts and get out of trouble.

After the United States dropped two atomic bombs on Japan in 1945, a prominent topic in the American press was speculation about whether the Soviet Union had any and how many.When Soviet Foreign Minister Molotov led a delegation to visit the United States, they were surrounded by a group of American journalists in front of the hotel where they stayed. Some reporters asked Molotov: "How many atomic bombs does the Soviet Union have?" Molotov sullenly Answered with just one English word: "Enough!"

The vague concept of "enough" can not only avoid the secret of how many atomic bombs there were, which was inconvenient to be disclosed at the time, but also express the self-esteem and strength of the people of the former Soviet Union. It is concise and just right.

2.Can deal with difficulties and control the initiative.

In the autumn of 1982, Chinese writer Jiang Zilong went to Los Angeles, USA to attend a meeting of Chinese and American writers.At the banquet, the American poet Allen Ginsberg asked Jiang Zilong to solve a riddle: put a five-kilogram chicken into a bottle that can only hold one kilogram of water, how can you get it out?
Without hesitation, Jiang Zilong replied, "I will take it out whatever method you use to put it in."

Ginsberg praised Jiang Zilong's quick thinking because he was the first person to guess the riddle.

3.It can subdue the tough and embarrass the wicked.

Afanti works as a barber, and the big imam comes to shave his head, but he always refuses to pay. Afanti wants to find a chance to punish him.

One day, the big imam came to have a haircut again.Afanti shaved his head first, and when he was shaving, he asked, "Imam, do you want eyebrows?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Okay, I'll give it to you if you want it." Afanti said, "chachacha" a few times, shaved off the imam's two eyebrows, and handed it to him, the imam was so angry that he couldn't speak .

"Imam, do you want a beard?" Avanti said again.The imam quickly changed his words and said: "No! Don't!" Afanti said yes repeatedly, and with a few more knives, he shaved off all the imam's beard and threw it on the ground.

(End of this chapter)