learn to speak, learn etiquette

Chapter 7 Learning to Speak Tactfully (3)
Avanti used the ambiguity of "want" to play tricks, intentionally misused it, and made the imam in a dilemma, and was fooled again and again.

[-]. How to insinuate

Side-knocking refers to knocking from the side, attacking from the side.As a debate technique, it refers to the side attack method adopted when the frontal attack is difficult to obtain results.In real life, many people are outspoken and straightforward, criticizing others without any scruples, and the smell of gunpowder is very strong, which offends people and fails to achieve their goals.In fact, everyone has self-esteem. As long as they are used properly, subtle and subtle punchlines can also arouse their conscience.

A man was invited by a friend to a family banquet. The friend was very stingy and only entertained him with a few drops of white wine.Before leaving, the man said to his friend, "Excuse me, please slap us on the left and right cheeks." The friend asked why, and the man said, "In this way, my face will turn red, and my wife will know that I am in the middle of the night." Your family is full, otherwise, it's hard to explain!"

The stingy friend also felt embarrassed, so he took out a very large wine glass, but when he poured the wine, he covered the bottom of the glass.The man asked his friend for a saw. The friend was very surprised, and the man replied, "I want to saw off the useless upper part of this cup."

In the face of his friend's stinginess, this gentleman can't speak directly, and beat around the bush. A few witty remarks are really worth pondering.Not only expressed his dissatisfaction, but also ridiculed his friend's stinginess.

It is also intended to ridicule the master's miserliness, but the following humorous story seems to be better.

A guest saw that the host had no food for him, so he asked the host for a pair of glasses, saying that his eyesight was not good. After putting on the glasses, he thanked the host for spending too much money to prepare so many dishes.The host said: "There are no dishes? How do you say it is too expensive?" The guest said: "The table is full, why do you still say there is no?" The host said: "Where are the dishes?" The guest pointed to the plate: "This is not a dish, is it No meat?..."

This joke has twists and turns, the guest mocked the host, and the trick is amazing.

When insinuating is used in daily life, it generally has the effect of "smiling and cursing, enlightening the maze".A few years ago, flared trousers were popular.One day, his mother washed his trousers and asked him to bring a pair of scissors. He was puzzled and asked his mother what she was doing with the scissors. The mother replied, "Your 'broom trousers' are used to sweep the floor." It’s not bad, if the bottom is cut into strips, the floor will be swept more clean.” The young man laughed after hearing this.As a debate strategy, side-firing is very inspiring, and it is often to stop at the point, not to explain it thoroughly, and let the other party think and understand.

During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, the king of Chu was happy for a while and gave a good bow to Lu Zhaogong.Before long, he regretted it again.A minister under the king of Chu volunteered to go to the state of Lu to retrieve the bow.Chu Chen paid homage to Duke Zhao, and Duke Zhao talked to him about the bow, so he hurriedly bowed down to congratulate him.

Lu Zhaogong asked strangely: "Why do you want to congratulate?"

Chu Chen replied: "The three kingdoms of Qi, Jin and Yue have wanted this bow for a long time, but the king of Chu didn't give it to them, but now he gave it to you. Your king, you have this treasure, and you can guard against the three neighboring countries. How dare you not congratulate me?" "

As soon as Chu Chen said this, Lu Zhaogong became frightened. He knew that the king of a mere small country had won the good bow that the three powerful countries wanted but failed to get, and he was bound to be envied and hated, which would attract the attack of the three powerful countries.He quickly returned the bow to King Chu.

Of course it is not appropriate to give a bow to someone else and ask for it back.Chu Chen adopted the method of insinuating, going around in circles, indirect reminders, false congratulations, and words with meaning.Lu Zhaogong finally understood the meaning, and hurriedly returned the bow to the King of Chu.

Thirteen, how to graft

In social life, we often encounter some unspeakable questions.Of course, it is not enough to adopt a negative method of categorically avoiding such "sharpness" of language, and it is not advisable to "carry logs across the alley".And "meaning beyond words" can be said to be a higher language realm.

On the surface, the answer is irrelevant, but in fact it is advancing by retreating, so it can be said that "avoiding the front" is for "hiding the front", and "hiding the front" is for better "exposing the front".

When you encounter a difficult question, if you don't want to answer it directly, you can bypass this question and talk about related issues, that is, "embedding flowers and trees".

When a famous Japanese film actor went to Shanghai to participate in art activities, Chinese friends were very concerned about the 30-year-old unmarried film artist.When asked when she plans to get married, the actor smiled and said, "If I get married, I will go to China for my honeymoon."

This answer is very ingenious, turning the question of "when will I get married?"

During his visit to my country, former U.S. President Ronald Reagan went to Fudan University in Shanghai to meet with students. A student asked Reagan: "During your university studies, do you expect to become the President of the United States one day?"

Reagan obviously did not expect the students to ask such questions, but the politician was quite adaptable, and he replied calmly: "I majored in economics, and I am also a football fan, but when I graduated, American college students About 1/4 was out of work so I just wanted to have a job first and I became a sports news broadcaster and then an actor in Hollywood, which was 50 years ago. But, I can be an American today President, I think the majors I studied earlier helped me, the physical training helped me, and of course, the quality of an actor also helped me."

Reagan's answer evaded the essence of the question, but it revolved around the question and dealt with the opponent's problem better.

Xiao Daocheng, the Taizu of the Southern Qi Dynasty, proposed to compete in calligraphy with Wang Sengqian, a famous calligrapher at that time.Both the monarch and his ministers wrote a piece of regular script seriously.When Qi Taizu asked Wang Sengqian "who is the first and who is the second", Wang replied: "The calligraphy of the minister is the first among the ministers; the calligraphy of your majesty is the first among the emperors." After hearing this, Taizu Qi had to smile Of.

Wang Sengqian's answer was witty and ingenious, without losing his own dignity, and taking into account the emperor's face. In fact, it was the key to avoiding the other party's question - who was the first among the two.The answer is irrelevant, and both the questioner and the answerer are satisfied.

The specific form of "avoidance" is flexible and diverse. Sometimes you can directly state the reasons for "avoidance" that even the other party has to admit, and push the topic away in a reasonable and restrained manner.

A few years ago, some young artists held a body oil painting exhibition in the Central Art Museum, which received a lot of response.During the art exhibition, a foreign reporter interviewed a young female painter, and first used some words to make the painter answer "female models have the spirit of dedication to art", and then the conversation suddenly changed, leading the army: " If I let you be a mannequin, would you be willing?"

This is really not easy to answer.Say "yes", in today's social environment, such a public confession is not easy for a young woman, say "no", it is obviously a slap in the mouth.

Therefore, the clever female painter said: "Not everyone can be a mannequin." In this way, the predicament is relieved, and it is natural and reasonable.

There is also such a situation: it's not that you don't want to answer, but that the question is really difficult to answer. At this time, you can make some vague answers, ambiguous, and let the other party guess.

An Australian asked a Chinese student: "Do you love Australia?" In this case, it is not appropriate to simply answer "love or not".So, the international student replied: "Australian kangaroos are very cute."

As for dealing with those absurd and difficult questions, there is no need to bite the bullet to find the "correct" answer, and you can get good results if you make the "wrong" the "wrong".

[-]. How to deal skillfully

Jin Tailai, a rich man in Henan, is a well-known mean person.When Yuan Shikai proclaimed himself emperor, he also wanted to take advantage of the troubled times and severely deduct the wages of long-term workers.

One day, he set up several tables of banquets, called all the long-term servants, and said, "Today, I invite you all, just because President Yuan became the emperor. Let's celebrate and celebrate." He also said, "In order to celebrate the emperor's enthronement, I want to I will reward each of you here with 200 taels of silver, but there is only one condition, that is, it is enough for each person to tell one thing I have never heard before. If you say something right, you will be rewarded, if you say something wrong, you will be punished, and you will be fined one year’s wages.”

When everyone heard this, they thought, what kind of treat is this?It is clear that a soft knife kills people, and they want to deduct wages!One by one had to frown and think of countermeasures.

A little girl said: "Master, my family raised a duck in the past, which laid 7 eggs a day, 3 of which were 'double yellow', and 4..." Before the little girl could finish speaking, Jin Tailai waved his hand and said: " Don't talk about it, my ducks laid 10 eggs a day! Hahaha... erase the wages!"

A long-term worker said: "Master, I have seen a dog with two eyes facing forward, two eyes facing back, two eyes facing left, and two eyes..."

"Hey! Don't talk about it! What is this? I've seen a dog with six eyes on one side! Hahaha, erase his wages!"

Jin Tailai "heard" one by one, swallowing all the hard-earned money of the long-term workers.At this time, a servant who was a nanny stood up and said, "Master, my family name is Zhao, and my grandfather said that he had eight acquaintances with your great-grandfather. Speaking of which, you still have to call me aunt. You must have heard of this." ?”

"Nonsense!" Jin Tailai rolled his eyes and roared, "Why have I never heard of it?"

The nurse laughed and said, "Master, since you haven't heard of it, reward me with 200 taels of silver."

It took Jin Tailai a while to turn the corner. In front of everyone, it was not easy to repay the debt, so he had to take out 200 taels of bright silver and gave it to the nurse.The nanny distributed the money to everyone, and everyone counted, it was several times more than the original wages!
A rich man who lives by exploitation looks down on working people from the bottom of his heart, so how could a maid who has been serving him for many years become his aunt?
The nanny saw through this, and wittily used it as the starting point of the attack.It can be said that she has grasped Jin Tailai's weakness.However, in the situation where Kim Tailai shamelessly withheld wages at that time, the old rich man had the audacity to "admit" it.Therefore, after the nanny stated the relationship that made Jin Tailai feel ashamed, she didn't ask him directly: "Haven't you heard of it?" Arouse the vigilance of the rich.The nanny cleverly turned a corner: "You must have heard of it, right?" Because it was different, such a question gave Jin Tailai the feeling that the nanny wanted to have a relationship with him or save him. He finally fell for it.Obviously, it was the ingenious maneuvering that helped the nanny's attack win in one fell swoop.

Sometimes, the opponent's loopholes also need to be actively created by the debater.

Ji Xiaolan in the Qing Dynasty was appreciated by Emperor Qianlong and was reused.Once, Emperor Qianlong wanted to make a joke and test Ji Xiaolan's eloquence, so he asked, "Ji Qing, what is the explanation for the word loyalty and filial piety?"

Ji Xiaolan said: "The king wants his ministers to die, and the ministers have to die. This is loyalty; the father wants his sons to die, and the sons have to die. This is filial piety."

Qianlong immediately said: "Well, I want you to die now."

"The minister leads the order!"

"How do you plan to die?"

"Jump into the river."

"All right!"

"Ok."

After a while, Ji Xiaolan returned to Qianlong, and Qianlong asked, "Why is Ji Qing not dead?"

"I met Qu Yuan, he won't let me die."

"how do I say this?"

"I went to the river, and when I was about to jump down, Qu Yuan came to me from the water and said, "Xiaolan, you are making a big mistake! I thought that the king of Chu was stupid and I had to die; but now the emperor is wise." , you should go back and ask the emperor if he is a foolish emperor. If the emperor says that he is a foolish emperor like the king of Chu back then, you will die sooner than later!" After hearing this, Qianlong laughed loudly, and praised repeatedly: "What a fool! His tongue is truly worthy of being an eloquent talent today, and now I am convinced."

Ji Xiaolan's eloquence lies in his reasonable, advantageous and restrained use of the skill of "turning and attacking again", pointing out his irrationality without harming Qianlong, and convinced him in one fell swoop.Here, the opponent's flaws that Ji Xiaolan relied on to counterattack (death to me is an act of a foolish king) and the timing of the counterattack were all created by Ji himself.Because obviously, Qianlong told him to die based on Ji's theory that "the emperor wants his ministers to die, and his ministers have to die because he is loyal".Only by playing around and creating opportunities can we turn defeat into victory.

In debate practice, such a situation is often encountered: the opponent is prepared and takes the initiative, and one's own side is unprepared and passive. At this moment, if you advance, you will be frustrated, and if you retreat, you will be defeated.

Debate maneuvers, one is the maneuvering of the lineup, avoiding the aggressive front of the opponent, and mobilizing my advantages to the front in the maneuvering, and approaching the opponent's weakness; the other is the maneuvering of the timing, once the opportunity is favorable, turn the defense into an offense ; The third is the power of maneuvering, adjust the thinking, arguments, and materials in the maneuvering, and turn unprepared into prepared.

(End of this chapter)