if there is no tomorrow

Chapter 12
It was ten o'clock in the morning when Luan Bingran knocked on the door of my room. I opened the door sleepily, and saw those pure dog eyes, and immediately became fully awake.At that moment, I felt that the world, which had been gray for more than two months, suddenly became brighter and had color.Luan Bingran was surprised to see me, stood at the door and hesitated for at least ten seconds, and asked, "So it was you?"

I smiled and stretched out my hand, but Luan Bingran put it behind her back and said, "I don't shake hands with men who haven't washed before."

I subconsciously rubbed my hands on the pajamas, and turned to invite Luan Bingran into the room.After entering the house, she took off the little white rabbit hat and down jacket, looked around, looked around the room like a policeman, and suddenly asked, "Is this a rented house?"

I asked her how she saw it?Luan Bingran said: "The owner's decoration is quite tasteful, it doesn't match your style."

I said, "Is my taste that bad?"

Luan Bingran said: "It's not bad, it's just a little bit bad."

In my short life, I have heard countless taunts and taunts, and I have managed to hide my inner anger with a nonchalant smile.Ever since I got cancer, I've been able to save even the anger inside me, and I don't even have to hide it.So, I calmly asked, "What's wrong with my style?"

Luan Bingran walked to the TV, tapped the marble wall behind the TV, and said, "This is black gold flower marble from Australia. It's not cheap in Australia, and it's even more expensive when it's shipped to China."

"You think I don't have the money to afford such decoration materials, do you?"

Luan Bingran said: "This is not just a matter of having money or not. A person who can use black gold flowers must be a person who pays attention to the quality of life."

I asked: "Do you think I am a person who has no quality of life?"

Luan Bingran came over, pulled the pajamas on me, and said, "A person who pays so much attention to the quality of life should at least wear pure cotton pajamas instead of nylon silk pajamas."

I glanced at the pajamas I was wearing and asked, "What's wrong with the nylon silk pajamas? It's very comfortable."

Luan Bingran said: "Nylon silk pajamas will rub against blankets and sheets to generate static electricity. When you turn around in bed at night, have you not been woken up by the crackling static electricity?"

I recalled that there was indeed a time like this, and I thought it was just a dream.Can't tell, the little white rabbit's eyes are as pure as a dog's eyes, but he can see so much.I asked the little white rabbit Luan Bingran: "How do you know this is Italian marble?"

Luan Bingran said: "I studied high school and university in Australia, and in my spare time I worked as a cleaner in a rich man's house in Sydney. The bathroom and living room of their house are all made of black gold flower marble. The owner once told me about this kind of marble and told me I don't scrub with chemical stain removers."

In my imagination, any child who can go abroad to study in middle school is from a family that is either rich or expensive, so why would they go to a local family to work as a hired hand?Luan Bingran saw my doubts, and said: "Our family is not an official and has no money. My father is a workshop director in Shougang, and my mother is laid off and idles at home, but they insist on sending me to study abroad. They just hope that I will have a future. I can live a decent life, so the money saved by the two elders is spent on me."

I asked Luan Bingran: "Then did you succeed later?"

Luan Bingran said: "My father got lung cancer before I finished my university, so I had to drop out and come back."

I asked, "How is your dad doing now?"

Luan Bingran had a trace of regret in his pure dog eyes, and said, "He passed away half a year ago."

I said: "I'm sorry!"

"It doesn't matter, everyone dies," she said.

I wanted to comfort Little White Rabbit, but she took out a notebook from her backpack and said that she was going to start working.I asked her what job did she start?She said: "Do you have any unfulfilled wishes, tell me, our charity will do its best to help you realize some wishes."

Help me achieve some wishes?I said I have many wishes.Luan Bingran said: "We can only help you fulfill some reasonable, operable wishes that do not violate human nature or violate the law."

I asked, "How much?"

Luan Bingran said: "There is no charge, we are an NGO, a public welfare, non-profit charity organization."

I still didn't quite believe it, so I asked again: "Where does your funding come from?"

Luan Bingran said: "It mainly relies on social charitable donations, and some people who accept our hospice care donate part of their inheritance to our charity association."

I said I have no property and therefore no inheritance.Luan Bingran said it didn't matter, and she also said: "In the eyes of us believers, there are only two kinds of people in this world."

I said, "The rich and the poor."

Luan Bingran said: "People with faith and people without faith."

I said I have no faith, will you still give me hospice care?Luan Bingran said: "People without faith need redemption even more."

The next whole morning, the little white rabbit Luan Bingran was working, and it took her ten pages of notebook to write down my wish.Luan Bingran shook her arms and said, "You are too greedy."

I said: "Waste half of your life, before you die, you have to be extravagant, even if it's a mouthful."

Luan Bingran packed up her notebook, stood up and put on her clothes, and said, "I'll go back and sort out a report and hand it in, and when the funding is approved, I can help you realize your wish."

As soon as I heard her say such words as writing a report and approving, my heart suddenly became cold.Luan Bingran saw the change in my mood, she comforted me and said: "Don't treat us as the relevant department, our approval is very fast, and the evaluation department can pass it in one meeting."

I asked her if all my wishes would come true?Luan Bingran said: "Not necessarily, the evaluation department will cut some items based on the actual situation of the patient."

Three days later, Luan Bingran came to the door again and said that half of my wish came true.Which wishes didn't come through, I asked?Luan Bingran said: "Going surfing in Hawaii, taking a beautiful woman on a private luxury yacht, going to Tibet to climb a snow mountain, and skydiving at a height of 4000 meters, none of these passed."

I said, "You guys are too stingy, and all projects that cost money have been cut off."

Luan Bingran said: "It has nothing to do with money. The waves in Hawaii are big. You haven't done basic surfing training. If you drown, who will be responsible? It's vulgar to take a beautiful woman on a private yacht. Alpine sickness, high-altitude skydiving risk factors are too high, have also been deleted."

I asked Luan Bingran: "Bungee jumping is also a very dangerous event, why don't you delete it?"

Luan Bingran said: "Compared with 60 people who died from bungee jumping and those who died from mountaineering and skydiving, bungee jumping has a higher safety factor than playing football."

I said, "It sounds like very professional data. How long have you been doing this work?"

Luan Bingran said: "Two months ago, I was introduced by a friend who was studying in Australia. I joined the charity association. You were the first person I cared for. If you hadn't called me by name and insisted on asking me to come, I would have spent a lot of training time like me. Those who are less than half a year old are not eligible to participate in hospice care."

I said, "I can't tell, you are quite strict with yourself, and the training time is longer than those who sell cars and houses."

Luan Bingran's expression darkened, and he said: "There are a group of people who don't do it for fame, profit, or gain, but just give, and they do it so seriously, they are worthy of respect."

I also feel that my words are a bit frivolous. This has something to do with my experience in sales. In our low-end company, it is commonplace to laugh and scold each other, and everyone is mercenary.Embarrassed, I found a topic to cover up, so I asked Luan Bingran: "Then when will I start my wish?"

Luan Bingran said: "From now on, Luan Bingran will help you fulfill all your wishes in life."

Under Luan Bingran's arrangement, we started to implement my first long-cherished wish: bungee jumping.

At noon, I invited Luan Bingran to eat boiled mutton at an old Beijing hotpot restaurant. This little white rabbit could eat better than me. I asked for four servings of lamb, and she ate three. In the end, she was able to eat another serving of hand-rolled noodles.It’s good to be young, to be able to eat and make things. If God can give me a chance to be born again, I must enjoy life and stop living like a fool for the rest of my life.When I pray, I can only talk about God. In fact, God is neither a person nor a god. It is an illusory generalization. This is not as good as Luan Bingran and others. It is the Buddha, the direction is clear, and the arrival rate will be high.Praying in such a general way as I do is certainly a fart.

Luan Bingran drove a second-hand Jetta car given to her by her uncle, followed the mobile phone navigation and ran for two and a half hours to Shidu. The bungee jumping here was the first one opened in Beijing.In winter, very few people bungee jump, and Shidu is also half closed.Regarding bungee jumping, I've always thought of it as a psychotic level of masochism, and two months ago, I never thought I would participate in this reckless and stupid game, so it was not my heart's desire at all.But ever since I learned about the disease, I was terrified by the raging cancer cells in the human body at the last moment.When I was in junior high school, I saw with my own eyes that my grandfather was tortured day by day by stomach cancer and lost his human form. Grandpa’s low-pitched wailing appeared in my recent dreams several times, and I couldn’t get rid of it.So, that day when Luan Bingran asked me about my long-cherished wish in this life, I chose bungee jumping, snow mountain climbing, and skydiving without any hesitation. The pain of being tortured by cancer cells in the future.However, Luan Bingran’s charity actually deleted the possible accidents of snow mountain climbing and skydiving, and only allowed me to participate in bungee jumping, and told me that the insurance factor of bungee jumping was 60 times that of mountaineering and skydiving.To put it bluntly, I was subjected to pure shock, without the slightest possibility of solving my pain and fear.

A young man with a dark face received our two uninvited guests. When the three of us took the elevator to the bungee jumping platform, my legs were like lead, and every step required great perseverance.Luan Bingran was quite calm, still lying on the railing and looking around, exclaiming excitedly from time to time, as if mocking my two unruly legs.There is nothing important in life except death. I just want to die. What am I afraid of?No matter how I try to comfort myself, my body is not at my mercy. When Luan Bingran looked back with her pure dog eyes, I wished I had to put on my seat belt and jump off.However, my legs just couldn't move, and I even had the idea of ​​crawling over.I was thinking that fear of heights is by no means a psychological problem, it must be an organic difference.

The black guy thought it was Luan Bingran who was going to bungee jump. When he was fastening my feet with seat belts, he looked up at me from time to time and said, "Don't be nervous, you're safe. We've never had any safety issues here."

He helped me stand on the jumping position, I tried my best to look down at the soles of my feet, and found that the frozen lake was very dazzling.I asked the young man, "The surface of the water is frozen. If the rope falls off, you will surely die."

The young man smiled and said: "The water below is for people's psychological comfort. If you fall from such a high position, the hardness of the water surface is no different from that of cement floor."

I stood on the take-off point against the wind, I don't know how long, suddenly, a hand was put on my shoulder, and I almost sat down on the ground in fright.Luan Bingran supported me, and said: "I understand your mood at the moment. At the moment when the long-cherished wish of a lifetime is about to come true, you must have mixed feelings in your heart, but you can't spend the night on it."

I almost begged Luan Bingran in a crying voice: "You...you give me...a kick from behind."

Finally, with the help of Luan Bingran, I completed my first bungee jumping.Luan Bingran was very cooperative, she said that she kicked me, which gave her great pleasure, a kind of pleasure from a successful prank when she was a child, especially when I screamed through the valley next, it made her hairs stand on end .Listening to her describe her pleasure, I think this little white rabbit is very perverted, she is different from all the women I have ever met before.

(End of this chapter)