Hypnosis: Psychological tricks in life

Chapter 18 Hypnotic Tricks in Life (5)
One day, Xiaojun invited two good friends to sit down at home, and they had a good time playing boxing games. When talking about the friendship of the three brothers, they were even more affectionate.Xiaojun took out good cigarettes, lit them one by one, and then lit his own.Unexpectedly, when he extinguished the match and turned his head to persuade him to drink, he saw two friends hanging their faces.Xiaojun thought for a while: It’s broken!Three people cannot light cigarettes with one match at the same time, because the homonym of lighting three times with one match is "disband".

Faced with this embarrassing scene, Xiaojun smiled and said: "Three people light cigarettes with one match, which means that three people light cigarettes with one match, and there is no distinction between you and me. Three people are in a group. Buddy, what do you say?" Isn't that right!" Xiaojun faced the embarrassing situation without panic, cleverly explained the meaning of the word with homonyms, and turned derogation into praise, which not only eliminated the misunderstanding, but also deepened the friendship between them.

Sometimes mistakes are not easy to cover up, because they want to cover up.What is needed at this time is to break the unpleasant atmosphere so that everyone can feel relieved.It is a good way to make everyone feel at ease by using homonyms to make the words round.

When using homophony, if you can create some suspense for the other party to arouse the curiosity of the other party, the effect of homophony will become better.There are also some tricks available here.For example, when we want to create suspense, we can let our words and deeds have multiple possible meanings, and then induce the other party's attention to fix on one meaning, that is, set a trap for the other party, so that the other party has an illusion, and finally Suddenly turning to another meaning, the reversal of the situation, makes the other party suddenly lose expectations, thus producing a strong dramatic effect.

Once upon a time, a guest went to visit a friend.The two kept talking, and when it was time to eat, the host didn't intend to keep the guests for dinner.

The guest thought, if he stays with me, I may not necessarily eat here. Since he doesn't plan to keep me, I still want to have a meal with you, and it must be good.When he saw the owner's chicken in the yard, he pointed to the chicken and said, "The chicken has seven virtues. Have you heard of it?"

The owner said: "I've only heard that chickens have five virtues, one is literary, which is dignified in appearance; the second is martial, with sharp feet; Announcing the dawn. I have never heard of the seven virtues. What are the two virtues?" The guest said, "If you are willing, I will eat it. Isn't it the seven virtues if you add these two virtues?"

The host laughed, so he killed a chicken to entertain the guests, exchanged cups and cups, and the guests and hosts had a good time.

All the cleverness of this guest is focused on using his willingness to eat chicken to create a trap through homophonic sounds, so that the host will be curious about the suspense, and finally find out happily that he has been fooled through the answer.

So, how can we make good use of the method of creating suspense?There are two points to note, one is that the suspense should be novel; the other is that the themes of suspense and persuasion should be relevant.By firmly grasping these two points, you can subtly persuade the other party and influence the other party's psychology.

In addition, for self-righteous people, you can also skillfully create suspense first, and lure the other party's appetite by playing tricks, so that the other party's persistence can be relaxed, and his curiosity can be induced. In the process of explaining the suspense, simple truth can be used. Or reasoning to prove the wrongness of the other party, so that they can change their views.

Dilute the emotional color and express tactfully.

In public activities, it is often possible to encounter embarrassing and dissatisfied situations. In this case, it is not good to express dissatisfaction bluntly, but to downplay the emotional color.

Einstein was funny and humorous, and once a young couple came to see him with their young son.As soon as the child saw Einstein, he burst into tears, embarrassing the couple, and Einstein also had embarrassment on his face, but the humorous Einstein touched the child's head and said happily: "You are the first The person who is willing to express his impression of me in person.” This clever answer gave the couple a sympathy, enlivened the atmosphere, and harmonious relationship, and of course it implicitly expressed Einstein’s dissatisfaction.

Here Einstein shows us his tact in communication.Facing the embarrassment caused by the crying of the child to himself and the young couple, he simply used self-deprecating methods to help the other party resolve the embarrassment and express his dissatisfaction.Then lowered his posture and expressed his agreement with this attitude with a "kind" tone, diluting the emotional color.

On August 1988, 8, British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was mobbed by IRA supporters while visiting Australia.Amidst the demonstrators' abuse, Mrs Thatcher left hastily under the protection of the Australian police.Even for a seasoned politician, this is an embarrassing thing, and for the hosts, Australia, it is also a big embarrassment.At the banquet that night, amidst the curious expectations of the guests and the inevitable embarrassment of the host, Mrs. Thatcher commented lightly: "Melbourne is a beautiful but noisy city." After bursting with laughter, the audience applauded warmly. Margaret Thatcher's ingenious downplaying and getting rid of embarrassing skills were amazed.She played down a violent political demonstration to the unavoidable din of the city due to its high population density, and made her dissatisfaction manifest in the laughter on both sides.

Former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill attends a government ceremony during his final year in office.Not far behind him, several gentlemen whispered: "Look, isn't that Churchill?" A more energetic and capable person." When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned his head and said to the gentlemen seriously: "Well, gentlemen, I also heard that his ears are not working well recently. gone."

Churchill knew that self-respect and self-love must express one's thoughts and feelings in an appropriate way. His humorous words here not only downplayed the emotional color, relieved himself, expressed dissatisfaction, but also made those gentlemen feel bored.

I really can't get angry when encountering other people's disrespectful words and deeds in social situations, but it's also uncomfortable to hold it in my heart.Hemingway once said: "Tell him you are unhappy, but don't use the word 'unhappy' in your words." Dilute the emotional color of the language expressing dissatisfaction, let the other party know that you are unhappy, and not destroy the friendly atmosphere , is a good way.

Say sharp things in vague terms.

For some sharp topics, it is best to use vague language to give the other party a vague opinion, or use more words such as "like", "maybe", "seems", "probably" to make room for it, The tone is more tactful.

For example, when a student cannot answer a question in class, the teacher should generally not reprimand the student like this: "What's wrong with you? You definitely didn't review yesterday!" Instead, express criticism in vague and euphemistic language: "It seems that You don’t seem to be reviewing seriously, is it? Or because you are a little nervous and don’t know how to say it?” And you should further put forward your hopes and requirements: “I hope you review in time, grasp the essentials of the question, and try to give a satisfactory answer next time, Can you do it?" This will give the students face and achieve good results.

In some communication occasions, especially in some more formal occasions, you can often encounter some questions involving sharp questions. These questions cannot be answered directly and specifically, and you have to answer them.At this time, the speaker can skillfully express his opinion in vague language, so that both parties involved will not feel too embarrassed.

When the famous Argentine football star Diego Maradona's team played against the England team, the first goal he scored was a controversial "problem ball". It is said that a reporter in Mexico once photographed him Shot of a hand clapping a ball.

When the reporter asked Maradona whether the ball was a handball or a header, Maradona realized that if he bluntly admitted that "it is true", the judgment would be tantamount to "revenging kindness" (according to football practice, the referee's The judgment cannot be changed after the spot), and if you do not admit it, you will lose the demeanor of "the best player in the world".

How did Maradona respond?He said: "Half of the handball belongs to Diego, and half of the header belongs to Maradona." The gentleman's demeanor of "not doing secret things" also affirmed the authority of the referee.

It is a kind of wisdom to answer sharp questions with vague language. It generally uses words with great flexibility, strong flexibility and unclear semantics, so as to resolve contradictions and get rid of passive situations.

A young man is boating on a lake with his newly pregnant wife and his mother-in-law.The mother-in-law wanted to test the young man, so she asked, "If your wife and I accidentally fall into the water together, which one do you plan to save first?" This is an old question, and it is also a dilemma. inappropriate.After thinking for a while, the young man replied, "I'll save my mother first." The mother and daughter laughed out loud, with satisfied smiles on their faces. The word "mother" has a double meaning, which makes everyone happy.

When we listen to the speeches of government spokespersons, or read some documents and communiqués, we often feel dull.In fact, these languages ​​often contain very sharp meanings, but some vague words are used to make it appear "bland".For example, the spokesperson of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs mentioned in his speech that "both the host and the guest held frank talks." The "frankness" here means that there are many controversies, and the opinions are very different; There is too little consensus, and there are relatively deep prejudices between them.These fuzzy language not only achieved the purpose of explaining the problem, but also played the role of diluting the contradiction.

Praise with words that no one else has.

It is not difficult to say a simple word of praise. As long as you are willing and pay attention to observation, there are things worthy of praise everywhere. When you say it at the right time, it will have an unexpected hypnotic effect, and it will be beneficial to the other person's heart. Impact.

When French President de Gaulle visited the United States in 1960, at a banquet held for him by Nixon, Mrs. Nixon took great pains to arrange a beautiful flower stand: in the center of a horseshoe-shaped table, bright and dazzling tropical flowers set off A fine fountain.The shrewd General de Gaulle saw at a glance that this was carefully designed and made by the hostess to welcome him, and he couldn't help but blurt out praise: "The hostess spends a lot of time on such a beautiful and elegant plan and arrangement for holding a formal banquet." Mrs. Nixon was very happy when she heard this.Afterwards, she said: "Most of the visiting dignitaries either didn't pay attention, or didn't bother to thank the hostess for it, but he always thought and talked about others." In the years to come, no matter what happened between the two countries, Mrs. Nixon always maintained a very good impression of General de Gaulle.

De Gaulle noticed what no one else noticed, and expressed his appreciation directly. How could this not make Mrs. Nixon's heart flutter?Therefore, when we compliment a stranger, if we can carefully dig out that rare place, the other party will be very happy, and the stranger will soon become a close friend.For this point, you can ask a smart woman for advice. She is the movie star Julie Andrews who became popular all over the world because of the filming of "The Truth, the Good and the Beauty". In addition to her good acting skills, beautiful appearance and intoxicating singing voice, she also There is a clever mouth.

One day, she went to listen to the famous conductor Toscanini's concert. After the concert, she came backstage with some dignitaries and celebrities to congratulate the great conductor on the success of the performance.

Everyone praised the conductor: "The conductor is really great!" "Captured the charm of the famous piece!" "Super-standard performance!"

The great conductor thanked them one by one. Due to being tired and having heard such words too much, there was a somewhat perfunctory expression on his face.Suddenly, he heard an elegant and gentle voice saying to him: "You are so handsome!"

Looking up, it was Julie Andrews.

The great conductor's eyes lit up, and he thanked this beautiful lady energetically.

Afterwards, Toscanini happily said to people everywhere: "She didn't say I conducted well, she said I was handsome!" I'm afraid this was the first time the great conductor heard someone praise him for being handsome!

In this way, the great conductor regarded Julie as a close friend and went to cheer for her from time to time.Although it was only a one-time meeting, the great conductor often complained about "meeting too late" with her.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.People generally hope that others will talk more about their own strengths, and do not want others to talk about their own shortcomings. This is human nature.When talking with the first talker, if you start by praising the other party's strengths in a unique way, it will make the other party feel more happy, have a good impression of you, and the enthusiasm for the conversation will be stimulated.

Properly repeat what the other party said to stimulate the other party's interest.

When we communicate with the other party, repeating the other party's words appropriately, especially the important and difficult words, can not only enhance our own understanding, reflect others' respect for the other party, but also strengthen the problems and results, and stimulate the other party's understanding. interest in conversation.

It is self-evident that people must give people a sense of trust in order to deepen the relationship between their friends.So, how can you make your friends trust you?In fact, it is very simple - the communication process is the easiest time to gain the trust of friends, and it is especially important to be able to properly repeat the other party's words during the communication process.

Many people have such a misconception that always repeating what the other person said seems to be more verbose, and it is easy to cause dissatisfaction with others, but this is not the case in reality.Indeed, too much repetition is easy to give people an illusion. However, if the repetition is just right and the key points of the other party's speech are repeated appropriately, then the other party will think that you attach great importance to this conversation and can grasp the key points of the conversation. In that case, the effect It's different.

It can be said that most people have a special feeling for their own language, especially the speech after careful consideration under certain circumstances, which is very important for their self-satisfaction. If we don't care or pay attention to others' words, it will be difficult for others to have a deep and good impression on us. On the contrary, we will be included in the category of strangers who cannot be "like-minded", so that we will not be able to communicate with such people. People get in touch with him and gain his favor.

In fact, in this process, as long as we understand each other's troubles and requirements with the same mood, and satisfy their inner satisfaction or vanity, it is easy to receive the opposite good effect.

For example, when talking with a friend, when listening to a friend’s opinion, you should nod your head to express your agreement, and repeat the other person’s words appropriately, so that the other person can feel valued and can’t help but tell you what’s on your mind , treat you as a good friend.

Remember: Repeating the key points of the other party's speech at the right time is the simplest and most effective way to deepen others' impression of us.

Take one step back and take two steps forward after winning favor.

When you communicate with others and there are differences in views, and the two parties are not willing to give in, if you are right, you have to stick to your point of view and persuade others to accept, but the method we can try to achieve with a gentle attitude and skills. Purpose.Taking one step back can actually get you two steps forward, which is the tactic of taking a step back.Admitting your mistakes before convincing the other person is difficult for most people, but it does help bring the other person into submission.

(End of this chapter)