Do it and you can beat procrastination

Chapter 4 The Psychology of Procrastination, 5 Psychological Effects of Procrastination (3)
After work, Liu Yang works hard and often thinks a lot about the cases he is responsible for.But soon he began to delay many things he should do, such as some necessary background checks, appointments with clients, writing case briefs and so on.In every case, he wanted his courtroom arguments to be impeccable.But facing so many clues, he felt that it was simply unbearable. Sooner or later, he would fall into a deadlock.

Although he managed to look busy every day, he knew he wasn't getting anything done and felt powerless.When the trial date approached, he would become extremely panicked, because he would not have much time to write a proper case summary.

Liu Yang said: "Becoming a great lawyer is my greatest pursuit. But I seem to spend all my time worrying about whether I can achieve greatness, instead of actually doing things." If Liu Yang cares about becoming a He is a good lawyer, so why is he procrastinating to avoid the work he has to do to help him achieve his dreams?

Liu Yang's procrastination forced him to face such an important question: Can he really become an excellent lawyer?For a long time he procrastinated from writing surveys, avoiding probing his own potential.He believes that work does not reflect his true ability. If his performance is not satisfactory, he always says something like: "Give me another week, I will do a lot better."

It can be said that Liu Yang was so frightened by the failed judgment that he would rather procrastinate, and sometimes even face disastrous consequences, to avoid being judged on his performance.He is very concerned about what others think of him, and even panics when his performance is not fully evaluated.

Whether it is writing a lawyer summary, updating his resume, buying gifts for friends and relatives, or buying a new car for himself, in order to prevent himself from being labeled as a "failure" in these things, Liu Yang has become more and more Love procrastinates not to do it, and it goes further and further on the road of self-defeation.He suppresses himself because he is afraid of failure, and when he is disappointed with his performance in one thing, he not only thinks that he has failed in that thing, but also thinks that he is a failure.

You are constantly in silent dialogue with yourself, explaining situations or judging others.This self-talk can be a barrage of self-doubt and self-criticism, such as, "I'll never make it to this project," "I know I'll say the wrong thing," "No one can be trusted"; it can also be a positive message. Reinforcement, for example, "Things can work out" "I can handle it" "He can help me."

Pessimistic thinking is sometimes a cognitive distortion characterized by:

(1) Exaggerating, "I can't do anything about it." While you overestimate the seriousness of the problem, you also underestimate your own ability to solve it, jumping to conclusions without any evidence.

(2) Ignoring the positive, "Of course dinner was good, but I burned it." You tend to remember the negative side of things, or view positive things in a negative way, to justify your negative self-image. correct.

(3) Egoization, "I have become fat, so everyone keeps looking at me in meetings." You like to think about things on yourself, and the facts will inevitably be distorted.

(4) An all-or-nothing idea. "If I'm not elected chairman of the committee, I'm a total loser."

(5) Over-generalizing, "No one likes me... I lost all my friends... Nothing is right..."

(6) Jumping to conclusions, "He ignored me, I must have done something wrong." You should be able to see that most of the negative thoughts are exaggerated or distorted facts, most of them are spontaneous, not rational and logical conclusions drawn.In fact, in a way, they're not ideas at all.

Regardless, sometimes you just can't get rid of pessimism completely.Perhaps after a period of grief, you can see your inner needs more clearly.But there's no point in mourning endlessly over something that's bound to be lost.Even if you have lost a loved one, lost a brotherly friend, lost your job, or lost your dreams, don't wallow in pessimism, which is not only useless, but also a waste of youth and life.

Skills in fighting and dragging: Correctly avoid the ostrich effect

Procrastination is a bad habit that easily causes anxiety and guilt, and is a kind of self-psychological torture.Many procrastinators have the mistaken belief that they perform better under stress, but they are deluding themselves and others.Psychologists point out: "Under stress, people's performance will only be worse."

Psychologists believe that the real reason people procrastinate is actually fear.And the only way to overcome fear is to face it, take action, and complete the task as soon as possible to get rid of fear.Therefore, if you want to avoid the ostrich effect, you should work hard in the following aspects.

1. Overcoming the Fear of Failure
An American psychologist believes that people who are afraid of failure have a set of assumptions of their own.These assumptions turn the struggle for success into a frightening, risky endeavor.These assumptions are: what you do directly reflects your abilities; your level of ability determines your worth as a person; and what you do reflects your personal worth.

Many procrastinators would rather procrastinate than work hard, and are unwilling to take the risk of being judged as a failure, or fear that their shortcomings will be discovered, fear that they will not do well enough despite their best efforts, and fear that they will not meet the requirements.These fears reflect a fear of failure, and they believe that procrastination can cope with this fear.

For some things, you have not started to do it, you will think of failure first, not success, and you will continue to procrastinate those things that must be done through social interaction, just because you are afraid of dealing with others.Put aside all worries, stop procrastinating, boldly do what you want to do, accept yourself for who you are, not for what you want to be, and act in the way that is best for you, not in the way you live. In the endless shadow of procrastination.

2. Don't look for trouble
In your environment, certain events may directly lead to stress.However, most of your stress comes from yourself.Self-generated stress does not come from external events like work, but from the way you view and understand those events.

When Katharine Hepburn was not famous, she had a very critical performance, and it was this performance that made her famous in one fell swoop.But in the 10 minutes before she was ready to take the stage, she really felt the pressure before the show.She panicked, felt she wouldn't be able to perform, and decided she was going to have a voice problem.She told doctors she felt so sick all over that she could barely move her feet.

"What's the matter?" asked the doctor. "I suddenly felt panicky. I used to be nervous before a show, but this time it was a little bit different."

"Don't worry," said the doctor. "You are a real actor, and you will be able to overcome your nervousness. I have just what you need in my bag. This is a new drug, and it works quickly and well."

As he spoke, the doctor took out the needle tube from the bag, opened a small glass bottle containing distilled water, and pumped the distilled water in the bottle into the needle tube.

Then the doctor gave her an injection of distilled water and assured her that the miracle drug would take effect immediately. "Sit down," the doctor said, "and relax."

After a few minutes, she was quite calm. "It's a miracle drug, I should kiss you and say thank you," she said, "Doctor, I feel very well, thank you very much." She went on stage and gave a wonderful performance.

Later, at the banquet celebrating the success of the performance, the doctor walked over to congratulate her: "You know, this is your most wonderful performance."

"Thank you," said Katharine Hepburn. "No, you should thank yourself. It's you who worked hard, not me. Do you know that what I gave you was just a bottle of distilled water?" Katharine Hepburn was greatly surprised, and then couldn't help laughing.

What can affect you in life is often not the things themselves, but yourself.Worrying, fearing, frustrated and procrastinating about unnecessary things will only increase your psychological burden and affect your healthy emotions.In fact, 99% of the things you fear will never happen.The insurance business makes a lot of money worrying about things that are unlikely to happen, and in fact the laws of estimating probability fully show that those catastrophes are not as common as people think.

When you were in school, did you often ask for trouble?After handing in the test papers, I often can’t sleep in the middle of the night, fearing that I will fail the test; or sighing and sighing, I always think about what you said, and regret that you didn’t say it better at that time... You are usually brave enough to face the big problems in life. crisis, but is always depressed by those little things.All you have to do is change your perspective, shift your focus, and you'll be happier in life.

3. Learn to appreciate life
Your life is full of all kinds of contradictions, making you irritable, and all kinds of bad emotions surround you who are already exhausted. You seem to waste everything in low, depressed, and uneven emotions Here, constantly self-torture.

Learn to be grateful, it is a good medicine to make your mood better.When you find that you are grateful for all the things around you, those bad feelings will disappear.When you are depressed, depressed, and your mind is blank, you can go to the small river and see how the sky reflects blue in the water; look at the green grass growing tenaciously by the river; look at the stones in the water, as if It's like telling a story with inspiration.Think about it again, is your life doomed to be forever in pain, always angry, and always missing such beautiful scenery?Appreciate what you have, it will make you a good mood person.

You should be grateful for all that you can have.An attitude of gratitude allows you to focus on what you want.If you are satisfied with your own life, you will more and more occupy the right time, place and people in your life, and you will get closer and closer to your dream.At the same time, you will give more love to others, and your life will become happier and happier, and you will find that everything is in a virtuous circle.

Thank God for giving you sunshine, air, and good luck, allowing you to meet your confidant in life in the vast sea of ​​people; thank others for helping you, giving you friendship, and giving you warmth, even if you are facing great pressure , but also to see the bright side first, when you look at the problem with gratitude, those stress, worry and sadness will disappear.

The Retinal Effect: Imitation and Learning of Others' Behavior

"There are a thousand Hamlets in the eyes of a thousand people." In real life, different people have completely different views on the same thing, which is definitely not a novelty.A pile of bones without beauty in the eyes of ordinary people may become a priceless treasure in the eyes of archaeologists; the same clothes, some people think the design is really beautiful, while others think the dirt is too dregs ...It is obviously the same thing, but why do different people have completely different evaluations and understandings of it, or even completely opposite?

The British writer Mr. Thackeray once said: "Life is like a mirror. If you cry to it, it will cry to you; if you smile to it, it will smile to you!" In fact, people's understanding of the outside world is The external performance of the inner heart, what kind of heart you have, what kind of world you see.This may sound unbelievable, but the phenomenon of "birds of a feather flock together and people form groups" does exist in real life.

·What is the view, what is the world
It is easy to find out by carefully observing the people around you: introverted and rigorous people tend to unconsciously make friends with people with the same personality, while those who are extroverted are selectively "blind" or turned a blind eye.In fact, this is just the tip of the iceberg of the retinal effect in daily life.

So, what is the retinal effect?How does this psychological effect work and affect your daily words and deeds?Simply put, the retinal effect is that when you have a certain trait yourself, it is easier than others to notice whether others have the same trait as you, and it is easier to attract those who have the same trait as you, and then become a partner with you. Friends, build a specific small circle.

I believe most people are no strangers to the current hot circle philosophy and new concepts such as connections are wealth.In fact, whether it is a circle or a network, in the final analysis, it is an external manifestation of the retinal effect.A feed salesman once told the author very proudly: "As soon as I walked into the countryside, I could easily find out where there was a chicken farm and where there was a pig farm; They are all feed advertisements; when I traveled to Tibet last year, I saw a feed store on the street; even more incredible, I saw a feed packaging bag factory in the Tashilhunpo Monastery in Shigatse!"

On the surface, the feed salesman obviously has an occupational disease, and he is always thinking about feed everywhere, so he can naturally find related information.This is exactly the same as a tour guide knows where the fun is; a teacher knows which school has better teaching staff; a foodie knows which restaurant tastes better.Although this phenomenon can be seen everywhere in daily life, few people have conducted in-depth research on it. In fact, this retinal effect is subtly affecting your life attitude and work concept.

What kind of qualities you have, you will see what kind of world.If you are a pessimistic person who likes to procrastinate and is always sloppy, then you will unknowingly attract those who also procrastinate, and over time, your whole person will be full of negative energy; but if you If you are a positive and optimistic person, you will attract those who are also full of sunshine. After a long time, you will naturally be full of positive energy.

But everyone is a complex complex. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages. There is no one who is full of disadvantages but no advantages, and there is no one who has only advantages but no disadvantages.This means that the occurrence of the retinal effect is completely controllable, and it depends entirely on how you position your own characteristics.

·It's rare to find a bone in an egg
As the saying goes, "There is no gold, and no one is perfect." Everyone has shortcomings, and shortcomings are not at all a stumbling block that prevents you from establishing contacts and having good relationships. It can even be said that there is no direct relationship between the two.If a person wants to be popular and popular, he must develop the ability to appreciate and affirm himself. This is because the retinal effect makes only those who can see their own advantages can see the advantages of others.Only by affirming and recognizing the advantages of others can it be easier to gain the favor of others and establish a relatively stable cooperative relationship.However, the vast majority of people in real life don’t seem to realize this. You often only see your own shortcomings, but often turn a blind eye to your advantages. This is true for yourself and others.Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can't win people over because of your "nit-picky" approach to life.This is the case with Gao Le, the sales manager of a large company.

As early as the beginning of the year, the leader set a year-round sales task for the sales department. As a department manager, Gao Le has a very heavy burden.In order to complete the sales task on time, Gao Le evenly divided the entire sales task of the department according to the month, and assigned it to each salesperson.

(End of this chapter)