The rest of your life is long, you are the most unforgettable

Chapter 18 Say goodbye to time, we will each be happy

During the countdown to New Year's Eve, I received a video from Mies on WeChat: The gorgeous fireworks shot straight into the night sky, very bright, beautiful and very happy.At the end of the video, Mies hugged her fiancé and shouted excitedly: "Xiao Diu, Happy New Year!" At the end, there were vaguely noisy voices.

Then it stopped abruptly.

Everything returns to quiet.

It suddenly occurred to me that a few years ago, during such a noisy festival, it might be Christmas or the Lantern Festival, but whatever, most festivals in China can be celebrated as Valentine’s Day anyway.That day, I helped Mies out of the bar, and the cold night wind howled, making people tighten their coats, and Mies, who was half drunk, was babbling and singing for some reason.

The brilliant neon lights in front of a row of bars by the river are reflected on the water, and I can’t help but think that it’s better to have another bunch of fallen flowers, swaying like snow, so that you don’t need to wake up when you’re intoxicated.

Not far ahead, a couple kissed affectionately, as if no one else was around.

That happiness is too dazzling, I don't dare to look over my head.

Mies' eyes were blurred and he stared intently. After a while, he came back to his senses and said with a sigh: "The outline of that man's face is really like Jia Ming." Then he leaned his head on my shoulder and looked at the boundless night sky. Not a word.

We wandered aimlessly, there was no subway at that point, and we didn't bother to raise our hands when the taxi came to meet us.No matter how busy the huge city of Beijing is, it will be as lonely as it is.

Loneliness is shameful, and people who have nowhere to live are ashamed to be insignificant in front of loneliness.

Mies began to sing chaotically again: "I love Tiananmen Square in Beijing, the sun rises on Tiananmen Square..." One after another, the speech gradually became inarticulate.After a long time, she turned her head and said to me: "Why do I still miss him? I feel so sad when I think about it." Tears overflowed from the sockets of her eyes, and her face was stained with tears.

I opened my mouth, trying to find the most appropriate words of comfort.

Mis shook her head and interrupted me: "It's okay, just cry." She is a person with such strong self-esteem, but she hasn't let go of an unworthy person.

She turned to me again and said, "You know what? Even if I go back in time, I will still make the same choice. Because he is all my dreams in adolescence, even if he leaves early later."

Love is as cruel as it is desirable.

Mies and Jia Ming met in a school debate match, which was Jia Ming's last debate match at school.He is on stage, she is off stage.Before that, Mies had only heard the name "Jiaming" from other people, but never met him.

Every time Jia Ming spoke, his voice knocked on her heart like spring rain hitting the windowpane.The sun shines in from the window behind Jiaming, making his whole body glow.

At that time, Mies was in the first year of high school, wearing silly black-framed glasses and burying his head in the thick exercise room every day. He was tall and thin, with acne on his face, and was a very ordinary person in the school.And Jia Ming is a powerful figure in the third grade of high school, the prince in the hearts of many girls, like a magnificent and distant dream.

Destiny is weird and really gives you a little sweetness when you want it.

On a sunny afternoon after the rain, Mies in a white dress stood under the cherry blossoms and waited for her classmates. The breeze swept by, and the petals fell one after another. Jia Ming, who happened to pass by, was amazed by the beautiful scenery in front of him.Baby Annie said that every man has a girl as pure as a cherry blossom in his heart.

With a glimpse, the predestined story quietly kicked off.

Jia Ming approached Mies calmly, didn't spend much thought, and before launching the offensive with much fanfare, Mies fell after a few love letters.She was flattered, and pretended to be reserved, but finally couldn't hold back the excitement in her heart, and agreed.At that time, I was young, and I didn't know what "probing" or "playing hard to get" was. How lucky is it that the person you love also loves you? Too late to regret.

After the movie ended, at the intersection of the dark alley, Jia Ming took Mies' hand, bowed his head and kissed her.Mies was so nervous that his heartbeat slowed down. When he looked up, he could only see the bright stars in the night, like a witness of love.Jia Ming scratched her nose and said, "Little fool, you need to close your eyes when you kiss." She closed it obediently, his lips leaned over, and gently tapped her mouth open, with the tip of her tongue entangled, she didn't know why she was trembling all over It's like being electrified.

His kisses are minty, like the smell of summer.When he was in a daze, Mies thought: In Xia Tian Si Chun, no one's love in this world is more romantic than theirs.

But this love can only be done in secret, and Jia Ming won't let it be made public, for fear of affecting her studies.Mies thought foolishly: Isn't this the true meaning of love?I love you, it is my own business, it has nothing to do with others.

Falling in love becomes a secret and exclusive sweetness.

Later, Jia Ming was recommended to go to Beijing to study at university.They started a long distance relationship.

Everyone knows the hardships of a long-distance relationship. There is no heart to pursue Plato, but the body of Lin Daiyu longs to be greeted with warmth and hospitality.Such a hard love, probably only those who love sincerely can enjoy it.

Mies is determined to be strong, and he wants to get into Jiaming's university.However, He Qin did not make up for her weakness, but it happened to be the most difficult year in the history of the college entrance examination mathematics. She was lucky to be admitted by another second-level school in Beijing.

After a distance of more than 800 kilometers, she finally stood in front of him.Mies thought that they could finally walk the streets hand in hand, and spend time together... She thought, they could finally be aboveboard.

It's a pity that fairy tales have endings, but life has to go on.

Some people you look at from a distance, separated by mountains, waters and mist of longing, you feel extremely beautiful.But when the disguise of imagination was removed, everything changed again.

Jiaming is always busy, and always on weekends.Occasionally, when you come to our school to look for Mies, you have to hand in your mobile phone in advance, otherwise the phone and text messages will not stop.The strange thing is that Jia Ming never took the initiative to invite Mies to his school, or Mies was a beggar once and went rashly without saying anything in advance. Then he saw Jia Ming and a girl studying in the library, and the three of them immediately How embarrassing.Misi asked Jiaming to replace the QQ profile picture and mobile phone screen saver with their intimate photo, but Jiaming refused, saying that it was a ridiculous little girl's mind...

In fact, there are no stupid women in this world, especially in an intimate relationship, whether or not a man treats her well, she is like a bright mirror in her heart.

Mies felt the negligence of monk Ming, hot and cold, but after thinking about it, he felt that the distance was getting closer, and the standard of measurement changed.When Jiaming was in a different place, Mies felt very happy when he wrote a letter a week.Now Mies texts and calls and can't find anyone for a while, so she is in a hurry.She knew that she would get suspicious sooner or later when she was so devoted to a man all day long, so she simply joined the school drama troupe.It didn't take long for a small school performance to be held, and Mies' character was lovable, and he became a popular person in the school all of a sudden.

Although Mies became popular, he was not as happy as everyone imagined.She misses Jia Ming, but Jia Ming rarely calls or texts, let alone visit her at school.

"I heard that the best way to know where you are in the other person's heart is to disappear from the other person's life for a period of time. If he doesn't adapt and seems to be missing something without you, then this is your position. Mies was sad, "It turns out that Jiaming doesn't need me at all, I thought I was so important."

Their relationship is getting worse and worse. Although they are in the same city, they meet less and less frequently.Jiaming always had an excuse to be busy, and Mies gradually got used to it.

It wasn't until Jia Ming signed an internship contract with a southern company that everything was ready and he had to wait for another day to join the job.When Mies was told on the phone, she was surprisingly calm, neither crying nor fussing, and finally wished Jiaming a smooth job.But we all know that Mies was drunk that day, and she said: "Why didn't he just break up? Do I still hope that he has feelings for me and is reluctant to be cruel to me? I am the biggest fool in the world..."

A relationship that has been broken, I am afraid it is difficult to expect to get better.

A few months later, a woman called Mies on Jia Ming's mobile phone, claiming to be Jia Ming's girlfriend, and they had lived together... Before the woman could finish speaking, the phone hung up.

Mies was stunned, and immediately dialed the phone. Jia Ming answered it. Before she could speak, a woman cried hysterically: "Why did you do this to me? The child is innocent!" Mies hung up the phone in a hurry. He raised his head, his face was full of tears.

After a while, Jiaming called to explain, and Mies regained his composure: "Can you be kind to me? Don't tell me the details of your mess. I will try my best to pass the exam when you are recommended to go to university in Beijing; now I am in Beijing, you returned to the south without saying a word. Looking back on the whole love process, I have been chasing you, but you have never stayed for me. I really loved you. Now, I should thank her for letting me Finally, I don’t have to be a self-deceiving fool anymore... Please don’t come to harass me in the future, I feel sick.”

Mies lost weight rapidly after the breakup.

Mis experienced all the symptoms of insomnia, staying up late, absenteeism, overeating and other symptoms associated with broken love.For a while she dated frequently, dressed up every day, and dated all kinds of men.It took a while to stop.

Before long, I also fell out of love.The two of us felt a little sympathetic to each other. We often skipped classes together, went to the library together, and stayed up late together.There were many moonlit nights when the lights in the dormitory were turned off and we didn’t sleep. The laptop was on battery standby and flashing blue light. We wrapped ourselves in thin quilts and chatted on the balcony.

"I heard that people who break up in love generally go through five stages: denial, anger, negotiation, despair, and acceptance, but I only have despair and acceptance. He has always been so good, I thought I had to become good to be worthy of him But then I realized that because he is good enough, he doesn’t need me to be good, he just needs me to be a doll with no needs. But I am a person of flesh and blood, and what I need is love, not just being called Come and go. The thing that hurts me the most about this relationship is not the sowing of bloody drunken derailment, but that I don't even know if he really loved me.

"Maybe from the beginning to the end, I was not confident enough, insecure, and wanted more information to make sure that he would not leave. Later, the more I worked, the more tired I was, the more I wanted to hold on, and the faster I lost. I thank him He once wove a beautiful dream for me to satisfy all my fantasies and vanity, but he never belonged to me."

I don't know how to comfort her.

All the love in the flash of light and flint must be breathtaking, and a look in the eyes seems to be the fetters of the past and present.At that moment, love is love.If love has changed, it was after that that it became ferocious and threatening amidst all the ecstasy, passion, hysteria, and longing.Love has to be proved, but how can love be proved?

Dry the days and hang them on the sky like a thin sweater, and the time travels between the white clouds.Flash forward so many years.I loved you for so many years, but in the end we were not together.

I am most afraid that after loving, memories will become a habit, and I will have repeated dialogues with the past.

After graduation, Mies and I often dated together, eating, drinking and having fun, and got drunk all night when we were confused.

Mies has a small warm nest in the second ring road, and raises a cat named Dudu, with snow-white fur and blue eyes.Mies also had a serious love affair several times, but they all ended without a problem."They're great, they love me, and I'm grateful for that," she said.

Later, when they were busy with work, they lost contact with each other, leaving only the usual greetings during the holidays.It wasn't until last year when I received a call from her that I realized that she had gone back to the South, sold all the house and everything, and only took away those few boxes of books and the cat.

"Because of Jia Ming?"

"Don't be funny, it's not him. Besides, I'm getting married. "

Mies said: "People who have devoted themselves to love have a super long healing period after breaking up. I have met people like him, and I have also met people who are completely different from him. I enjoy being chased and loved comfortably. , being admired, but I’m not happy, I thought I was useless, and I didn’t know how to love. It’s him now who made me understand: love has nothing to do with the lovers of last season, what can be lost is nothing to count, you must be like a warrior Love again with all your strength, as if you don’t need others to love you, don’t be afraid of getting hurt, it’s thrilling and passionate.”

Many people reduce their investment in the next relationship every time they are injured. It seems that they are playing the safe card, but in fact, every time they care about, they are still reminding themselves of the injury they suffered in the previous period.Lowering expectations is affecting mentality. How can we expect a bad attitude to reap sincere love?

If you love, you will love it, if you are bloody, you will change it, don't cry, don't complain, love is willing to gamble and admit defeat.The next one is to love passionately.Only 100% love can teach you to say goodbye to harm completely, and those things that fail to kill you will definitely make you stronger.Don't shrink in pain, don't live in the shadow of hurt, the sun can't shine in, true love will take a detour when it sees negative energy.

Spread your legs and go out, the bigger your world is, the better your chances of encountering the same kind.Only when you bid farewell to time can you finally meet your own happiness.

(End of this chapter)