The rest of your life is long, you are the most unforgettable

Chapter 20 Guai Ai was wishful thinking, but finally willing to gamble and admit defeat

1
Human memory is really strange.

If it wasn't for the old man falling into a dream, I would have almost forgotten that I have met such a person in the river of life.But so what, some people meet to never forget, and some people prefer not to have any relationship from the beginning.

His name is Lin Shu.

Coincidentally, it has the same name as Mei Changsu in the hit drama "Nirvana in Fire".

If you take a closer look, they look a bit similar, with a slightly angular face and soft eyebrows and eyes.

I try to remember.

The first thing that breaks through the door of dusty memory is a series of hasty bicycle bells, followed by noise and intense pain.

"Student, how do you ride a bike? Do your eyes grow on the top of your head?"

2
It was Sisi's voice.

The once so familiar voice roared through the years, and the eardrums seemed to be awakened from memory, making a piercing sound.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The boy pushed the bicycle in his hand, hurried forward to help me, and said sorry three times in a row.

I pushed away the hand he extended, it was a hand with slender fingers and slightly protruding veins.At a young age, I had never touched the skin of the opposite sex, and my defensive instincts made me catch Sisi's helping hand instead.The palms and knees ached sharply, and blood oozes from the broken skin, mixed with the fine sand on the concrete floor.

"I'm sorry, did I hit you somewhere? Shall I take you to the hospital?" The boy's voice was full of tension.

Supporting Sisi's hand, I raised my head and said to him, "Look, I'm not lame, I'm fine."

"Of course, you were stunned, right? You said you're okay even though you're bleeding?" Sisi frowned, feeling distressed and anxious, and turned around with glaring eyes. Time? The speed of the car is so fast, what are you doing!"

"I'm sorry." The boy blushed, looked at Sisi and then at me, and said, "It's better to go to the hospital for an examination."

After all, without waiting for our reaction, I squatted down and carried me on my back and trot towards the school's infirmary.

I lay on his back, my face flushed and my head buried in silence.

The only memory left is the boy’s white canvas shoes stepping on the bright and dark shade of the tree, and Sisi’s white long skirt rubbing against my ankles indiscriminately because of the trotting wind, and because I was shy and didn’t dare to move. Muscle stiffness and soreness after lying on the boy's back for a long time...

It also includes the boy's good-looking eyebrows, delicate face, and gentle voice. He said: "My name is Lin Shu, Lin of the woods, special Shu."

3
Pretty common beginning of a school love story, right?
The male lead accidentally bumps into the female lead while riding a bicycle. The male lead actively cares about the female lead because of guilt. Later, the two gradually develop feelings for each other and fall in love with each other.

I never deny that I fell in love with Lin Shu at first sight, or it can be said to be love at first sight.

Psychology says that when a person is in danger, his heart beats faster unconsciously. If he happens to meet a person of the opposite sex at this time, he will mistakenly regard the faster heartbeat caused by this situation as the faster heartbeat caused by love, and thus breed feelings .

But soon, I realized that this story directed by fate was not my love story.

After leaving the school infirmary, Lin Shu carried me back to the dormitory.After putting me gently on the bed, he reached out and wiped the sweat from his forehead: "You take a rest, I'll buy you some fruit and add more vitamins, the wound will heal quickly."

"It's okay, you can go to your business first, I still have Sisi to take care of you here."

"I don't have anything urgent." A boy was stuck in the girls' dormitory, so cramped that he didn't know how to put it away.

"You ride so fast, I thought you were in a hurry to do something urgent."

"Oh, yes. I came back from outside because my girlfriend was sick. After watching her, I rushed back to class. I just sent a text message to ask my classmates to ask for leave for me."

It turned out he had a girlfriend.

I seemed to hear a pop, as if there was a colorful bubble floating slowly and suddenly burst without warning.

"I'd better go buy some fruit." He smiled shyly.

This time I didn't say anything, just nodded.

4
He stepped out.

Sisi moved a stool and sat down directly opposite me, looking at me with a half-smile.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something written on my face?"

"Of course, it's too obvious. It says 'He Ranran fell in love with Lin Shu at first sight'." After she finished speaking, she paused and looked at me with smiling eyes, trying to capture the slight expression on my face.

A woman's sixth sense is amazing.

I couldn't believe it: "It's love at first sight, just a minute ago, all my illusions about him were shattered."

"Why?" Her eyes widened.

"Didn't you hear that he just said that he has a girlfriend?"

"If you really like him, you can go after him boldly even if you have a girlfriend." Sisi tried to instill her love logic in me again.

"I don't want it. It's too stupid to rob someone's boyfriend. If you can't rob him, it proves that he is stronger than gold; if you rob him, don't be too happy, he will be robbed by others sooner or later."

"What you said is not unreasonable, but I think if you can be so rational, it is not love. If I fall in love with someone, I only have him in my eyes, and I don't care about anything else."

"The beauty is talking about you. If you regard love as your belief, if you don't taste all kinds of flavors in love, wouldn't you live up to the good skin that God bestowed on you?"

"Fuck you." Si Sijiao said angrily, paused, and then said, "It's very strange, why do I feel like I've heard the name Lin Shu somewhere before?"

As soon as the words fell, there was a knock on the door.

Lin Shu pushed the door open and came in, carrying a large bag of fruit and snacks in his hand.

"I remembered, Lin Shu, are you Lin Shu who played the guitar at the Mid-Autumn Festival party?" Sisi asked.

Lin Shu, who opened the door and came in, was at a loss for this nonsensical question: "Ah, it's me, are you?"

"I mean, I was in the rehearsal the day before yesterday, and our freshman drama club also has a show."

"Oh, yes, your drama program is quite good, I have watched it..."

There was something to talk about, and the relationship between Sisi and Lin Shu eased up a lot, and then they chatted about some things about the party.

But after not sitting for a long time, Lin Shu got up and left, "I'll come see you tomorrow."

5
I rested in the dormitory for more than a week.

Lin Shu would visit me every morning and afternoon, and sometimes when it was time for meals, he would go to the cafeteria with Sisi to get a meal and bring it back to me. I said no, but he still insisted.

Although I don't have any more thoughts about him, it is undeniable that he is indeed a good man, and being his girlfriend is almost blissful.

"He really loves his girlfriend very much." Sisi took over the conversation, "During the rehearsal, I heard a senior sister comment that he is from the Department of Literature, and he is already a junior, and his girlfriend is from another school. Rented a house to live together. His girlfriend and he are high school classmates. They agreed to take the entrance exam for ×× University, but he didn’t do well in the college entrance examination, so he was transferred to this second school. I heard that they fell in love in high school, and it was a lot of trouble We just got together, by the way, it was his girlfriend who chased him..."

"You know it in detail, why are you so interested in his affairs all of a sudden?" I asked lightly.

Sisi was silent for a minute, and said, "There's nothing wrong with admitting it, I like Lin Shu."

I was so surprised that I hesitated to speak.

What can I say, at that moment I realized that Lin Shu bumped into me was not the beginning of the story, Sisi fell in love with Lin Shu, and that was the beginning of the story, that was another story.

Regarding how Sisi fell in love with Lin Shu, I imagined various reasons, but most of them were out of homosexual jealousy.I'm jealous of her good looks. Good-looking people never bow down to the love that can be easily obtained. They have to hunt for novelties, match up with opponents, and work hard to get things that don't belong to them. This process can greatly improve Satisfy their desire for conquest and vanity; I envy her for daring to face her own feelings, envy her braver than me, knowing that the other party has a girlfriend, and admitting that she likes him without hypocrisy or shame, and continues to like him, even though she knows he He loves his girlfriend deeply, even though he doesn't know anything about it.

I who have never experienced love, like a moralist, paranoidly added morality to love, only to realize later that such an idea is not immoral.

Although I despise Sisi's feelings for Lin Shu, we are still good best friends.This is the strange thing about women's friendship. Even if we don't agree with each other's view of love, it doesn't prevent us from eating, drinking and having fun, and even complaining to each other.

6
Sisi did not shy away from chatting about Lin Shu more and more frequently in front of me, saying how handsome and charming he was playing the guitar, how talented he was to publish articles in many magazines, how sunny and energetic he was when he shuttled to the basketball court one day ...

She probably also knows that I am not optimistic about her secret love, but she likes someone so hard, but she can't tell him, love is too hard and secret, she always finds someone to tell, secrets are also important, It was so overwhelming that I couldn't breathe.

Soon it will be the Mid-Autumn Festival Gala.

As Sisi said, Lin Shu's handsome appearance on the guitar fascinates a lot of female classmates.Sisi was also very beautiful that night. Coincidentally, she also played the role of a crush in that drama, but the ending was very happy. The person she had a crush on happened to love her too. How perfect, it makes people feel love Full of yearning and hope.Sisi on stage acted with all her heart, she was not acting in her own story, I know she is also looking forward to such a happy ending.

When the applause rang out, Lin Shu beside him also applauded vigorously, and said with a smile, "Sisi's performance is really good."

I made a strange mistake, approached him, and asked: "If someone has a crush on you now, what would you do?"

"Stop joking, I have a girlfriend." Lin Shu didn't take it seriously.

"So what if, what if someone really has a crush on you?" I refused to let go.

"I'll appreciate her. That's all," he said.

I'm so sad.

After the party was over, Lin Shu and Sisi and their group who participated in the show met for supper. Sisi asked me to go with me. I waved my hand and said, "I won't join in the fun. Lin Shu, take good care of Sisi, Don't stay too late."

7
But that night, Sisi did not return all night.

She and Lin Shu stayed together all night.

A group of them went to have supper, because everyone drank some wine because they were happy.At the end of the show, Sisi, who was overwhelmed by alcohol, vomited in the bathroom for a long time. When she finished vomiting, everyone left, only Lin Shu remained.

It was late, and in order to get back to school before the dormitory closed, Lin Shu said that he remembered a shortcut back to school, so he pulled Sisi into a secluded alley.

Before going far, they encountered two hooligans.The gangster first robbed the property, and then grabbed Sisi to rob sex. Lin Shu resisted desperately, and was severely beaten. Sisi was so frightened that she cried and screamed. Fortunately, a master who rode a three-wheeler and returned home passed by. Only then was he able to escape.

The two of them ran wildly for a long distance before they dared to stop to catch their breath.

The school had closed long ago, so they had to find a small hotel to live in.There is only one standard room left in the Naihe small hotel.

After swiping the card to enter, Sisi hugged Lin Shu tightly, trembling all over, and let out a low cry from her throat, like a frightened little animal.

Lin Shu patted her on the back lightly, comforting her like a child.

Sisi didn't know how long she cried, she fell asleep in Lin Shu's arms when she was tired from crying.

Waking up in the middle of the night with dry mouth and tongue, Sisi got up to look for water to drink, and saw Lin Shu curled up on the sofa with his clothes on.

She walked gently to his side, knelt down and looked at his injured face and the corners of his mouth, breathing evenly and peacefully like a baby.Under the dim light, her heart was beating violently, she bent down and kissed his forehead lightly.

If Sisi's feelings for Lin Shu were controlled at the stage of secret love before, then after the night of life and death, his weight in her heart reached its peak, and she loved him like she loved her own life.After all, he risked his life to protect her like that.

Standing in front of the window, Sisi slowly told me about the experience of that night. At the end, she said: "However, do you know? I always think of the scene when we met him for the first time. I knew that I would fall in love with him." , I should have been more gentle in the first place."

When a woman loves a man, she hopes that all his memories of her will be good.

8
Sisi began to go to Lin Shu frequently, using various excuses.

For example, when I suddenly became interested in various literature books, I ran to Lin Shu for advice, and even took him to the library with her; For example, she is going to prepare for the CET-[-] exam, in fact, just buy any reference books, she insists on asking Lin Shu to accompany her to the bookstore to buy them; for example, if something good happens to her and she is in a good mood, she will happily Invite Lin Shu to dinner...

She has something to look for him almost every day.

At first, she tried to make excuses, but gradually, she became dependent on him, and she used to think of him subconsciously.

Lin Shu, Lin Shu, Lin Shu, she is full of Lin Shu, even when she goes to the mall to buy a down jacket, after trying it on, she blurts out: "I don't know if Lin Shu thinks I look good in this."

Seeing her full of joy, I felt sore and speechless.

I asked, "Does Lin Shu know that you like him? Have you confessed?"

"No, I'm wondering if I should find a suitable time to confess to him."

But she didn't wait for the right time.

One afternoon, when I came out of the school’s canteen, I saw Sisi talking to Lin Shu from a distance, with a stack of printing paper in his hand, and I heard their conversation when I approached.

"This is a new novel I wrote. I don't know how it is written. Lin Shu, your writing is so good, can you help me read it? Please give me more valuable advice." When Sisi looked at Lin Shu, her eyes glowed Shiny, others can see it at a glance.

"What novel? Let me take a look." A girl suddenly appeared from behind Lin Shu, reached out to take Sisi's manuscript, continued to smile and said, "Let me guess, is it a story about a girl secretly in love with a boy? And that boy has a girlfriend?"

Sisi's smile froze on her face, she couldn't say a word when she saw the girl.

"This is my girlfriend, and this is Sisi, a junior from the English Department." Lin Shu introduced each other with a smile. I really don't know if he is pretending to be stupid or he really doesn't know the situation.

But his girlfriend obviously knows the situation better than him.

That night, Lin Shu called Sisi, and one could guess that Lin Shu's girlfriend was also there on the other end of the phone.Lin Shu just said: "I have always regarded you as my younger sister, and I have never had any other feelings. I only have my girlfriend in my heart, and I love her very much."

Sisi was holding the phone, trembling all over, I thought she would lose control and cry, but after a long silence, she said: "If there is no chance to say this sentence in the future, then I hope to tell you now, Lin Shu , I like you. But don't worry, I won't pester you again in the future. "

At that moment, I was shocked by Sisi's courage and was deeply impressed.At the same time, I am also ashamed of the thought of being a moralist. Just because Sisi appeared late, does she have no right to love?No, if love depends on the allocation of time, then why do you want to be sincere?Talking about morality in love is the greatest immorality.

9
I don't know how Sisi pays homage to this relationship that ended before it started.

At least, she never cried hysterically in front of me.

However, she quickly withered away as expected, became reticent, and never mentioned the word "Lin Shu" again.If you see him from a distance on the road, you will immediately turn your head to avoid encountering him.

In fact, she should have expected such a result early on, but when the result really came, she was still caught off guard.

After all, it was just self-deception. Regarding her deep affection for him, she thought he would feel it to some extent. She thought that when he was protecting her desperately, even for a moment, he liked her.

It turned out that he hadn't had it at all.

The phone call that Lin Shu made to her was like his girlfriend slapping her hard across the face.

It was her wishful thinking.

In her sophomore year, Sisi studied abroad under the arrangement of her family.

Sisi alienated everyone and everything related to Lin Shu, including me.As the only witnesses of this love adventure that is willing to bet and lose, we are gradually alienated until we no longer contact each other.

I originally thought that I would have nothing to do with Lin Shu anymore.

However, one day after a long time, I received a call from him asking me to meet.

Not long after graduation, he broke up with his girlfriend.I naively thought that the phone call to Sisi made him realize in his conscience that he had feelings for Sisi.Isn't this how it is written and acted in novels and idol dramas?

Lin Shu shook his head, saying that his breakup had nothing to do with Sisi. In the final analysis, there were problems between the two of them, such as trust, lifestyle, planning for the future, desire for material things... In short, they parted ways.

After hesitating for a while, he asked, "How is Sisi doing now?"

I smiled and said, "Actually, I haven't heard from her for a long time, but whether she's doing well or not, the past is over. I hope she's doing well now."

Lin Shu looked out the window and said, "I feel very guilty towards her, and I always wanted to say sorry."

I was extremely sad in my heart. It turns out that if you don't love, you don't love. This is the greatest cruelty.Fortunately, Sisi turned around before him, so she didn't have to hear his apology. What are you sorry for?I'm sorry for never knowing her love, sorry for humiliating her, sorry for his never loving... It's too cruel, I'm sorry for a man, it's better not to listen.

After all, I am not as calm and brave as Sisi. For me, I am not interested in things that are too easy to get or things that require hard work. Love can never be enjoyed.The love I can imagine has one and only one appearance. When I walked towards him, he also walked towards me.

I still remember Sisi telling me about the night she spent with Lin Shu, she turned around and smiled shyly: "I stole a kiss from him, I kissed his forehead, and he smiled at me in his sleep , like a white cloud passing through the bottom of my heart, infinitely gentle. However, even if this is my wishful thinking, I am willing to gamble and admit defeat."

There are too many people in this world who have to love and eventually become misses. Even if it is a mistake, she does not want to miss a white cloud, although she will not be able to catch it or keep it after all.

(End of this chapter)