i hate i love you

Chapter 50 [Memories] An Yao

Chapter 47 【Memories】An Yao

When An Yao was 15 years old, it was raining lightly.An Yao woke up again from a nightmare. She wiped the fine beads of sweat from her forehead. She didn't know what happened recently. She often dreamed of her mother.

Mom left home a month ago and asked her what she wanted for her birthday before she left.An Yao thought for a while, and said embarrassingly that she wanted a pair of white sneakers.After hearing this, my mother agreed with all her heart. At that time, her kind smiling face was deeply imprinted in her mind.

However, since her mother left, she began to regret her unreasonable demands, because her mother did not go to visit the mountains and rivers but to fight disasters and save people. How can there be white sneakers to buy?

But she couldn't contact her parents, so she could only go to the village chief's house to borrow a phone, hoping that the army could tell her mother not to worry about the white sneakers. She didn't know the specific notification until her parents were notified. , she began to have nightmares again and again.I dreamed that my mother left the army to find a town without permission, and encountered unpredictable dangers in order to buy her a birthday present.

... An Yao curled up at the foot of the bed, trembling, weeping silently, every pore of her was filled with fear.She couldn't stop herself from thinking wildly, couldn't stop herself from being agitated, even, she wished to bump her head to death.

At this time, there was a knock on the door, but the shouts of grandpa or grandma were not accompanied by it.

An Yao's heart skipped a beat, he wiped away his tears, and rushed to the door before putting on his shoes.

And when she knocked on the wooden door excitedly, the first thing that caught her eye... were two black and white photos held by the soldiers.

An Yao stared at the photo of his parents, staggered two steps and fell to the ground, completely dumbfounded.

"Are you An Guoliang's daughter, An Yao?" A certain officer stepped forward with a solemn expression.

An Yao didn't say a word, her eyes were blurred with tears, she was afraid... afraid... still coming, still coming...

The soldier officer wanted to help her up, but An Yao raised his eyes coldly and pointed to the threshold, "Get out, you all get out!" As she said, she picked up the things at hand and slashed at the soldier. , she just wanted these people to disappear from sight.

"Anyao! Your parents are revolutionary martyrs. They exchanged their lives for the lives of others. You should be proud of your parents!" The officer resisted her attack with one hand and pulled her up forcibly with the other.

An Yao beat and kicked, covered her ears, she was not prepared, she did not have the courage to face the death of her parents!

"Isn't my parents' life my life... Is it not my life... I deserve to die?!—"

"What is this called?! Your parents are great heroes! They sacrificed themselves to save others. This is the duty of soldiers and their duty! If your parents hear you say this! They are in Jiuquan You can't close your eyes!" The officer pulled An Yao out of the door, pointing to the fence yards of each house, with tears in his eyes, and said angrily, "Open your eyes and see! How many people have lost their loved ones like you , but in the face of natural disasters and man-made disasters, there must always be someone who is willing to sacrifice! Do you think I am not sad about losing two comrades-in-arms?! But! It was your parents who took the initiative to apply to go to the forefront. If they considered their own safety, they would not Go forward without hesitation, do you understand how great your parents are?!"

"I understand! What you mean is, the country! Responsibilities! Victims! Anyone and everything is more important than their own daughters!" Anyao tore off the military rank from the officer's shoulders and threw it on the ground, "I ask you too Do you understand, I have no father or mother now, I have nothing, why do I still live in this world?! You tell me why I still live?!" She pushed the officer away and slammed He quickly pulled out the pistol from the officer's waist, aimed at his temple and pulled the trigger...

After a loud bang, An Yao fell to the ground, Li Jie appeared out of nowhere, and pushed the gun away in time.

Li Jie shook his stunned head, and first snatched the gun from her hand and returned it to the officer. The officer could understand An Yao's pain of losing his parents, but he didn't expect the child's character to be so strong. He was so shocked that he couldn't speak , but before he could open his mouth, Li Jie pulled An Yao up and ran away.

When she got to the river, An Yao lay limp on the ground, her thin body was watered by the rain, her face was ashen.

Li Jie didn't know how to comfort her, or rather, her loss of control was beyond everyone's expectations.

"Silly little Yao, at least you still have me! I will take care of you!" Li Jie roared loudly.

An Yao looks up at the sky leisurely. She was born in this small village. In the past 15 years, she has not received much care from her parents. Life is lonely and tormenting, and her only hope is the smiling faces of her parents who occasionally show her in front of her, calling her a good daughter and telling her...they will go home to see her soon.

It doesn't count, but I still have to say, Dad, Mom, how cruel are you guys?
"Brother Li Jie, don't promise me anything, all promises are empty words..."

"I'm serious, you move to live in my house today, I said it! You will be a part of my Li family from now on!"

An Yao pulled Li Jie's finger away, got up feebly, and murmured, "No, I don't want to be anyone's burden..."

"I can make you happy, I will make you laugh when you are sad, and I will wipe your tears when you cry." Li Jie chased after her.

An Yao shook his head dully... Brother Li Jie, I'm sorry, you are a good person, but because you are good to me, I have to pretend to be emotional in front of you in order not to make you sad, but I am tired, too tired to want to I don't want to cry even if I laugh...

Li Jie didn't understand and wouldn't understand.She wants to find someone who doesn't understand why she lives. That person may be a man or a woman. She doesn't need to deliberately make herself happy, let alone look at her face to suppress her emotions, and even give her a real home. , if she is lucky enough to find such a person, she will work hard to live for herself, maybe.

……

It was raining heavily.

An Yao walked and walked to the village, when a Beijing V car passed by her eyes, she rushed over suddenly, she knew that she still wanted to die, although she tried every means to persuade herself not to commit suicide, but she still held back I can't help the despair in my heart.

Suddenly, the driver slammed on the brakes, and the wheels turned up the wet mud.An Yao opened her eyes, the front of the car stopped one centimeter in front of her, and she was still alive.

General Xing Fuguo got out of the car angrily, and yelled at An Yao, but An Yao just looked at him indifferently. She noticed the military rank on Xing Fuguo's shoulder, and wanted to tear it off and throw it on the ground, because these were sitting comfortably in the car. People will never understand the hardships of the soldiers, they will only gesticulate, they will only preach grandly!
"Uncle has a lot of power, right? I want to be a military doctor." Her tone was slightly mocking.

"Little girl, go home!" Xing Fuguo trained her for 10 minutes, but she gave such an answer.

"Why are you yelling?...Aren't you the most lacking fighters who are brave enough to sacrifice? Now I would rather die than you don't want?" An Yao sneered disdainfully. In her eyes, no matter how high a military rank is, it is tantamount to nothing.

"..." Xing Fuguo looked at An Yao intently, the girl's eyes glistened with tears, but there was a cold smile on the corner of her mouth.Obviously, the girl was not afraid of him, and the slight sadness in her expression reminded him of his wife who had passed away for a long time. Yes, it was this kind of soft and stubborn gaze that seemed familiar.

Xing Fuguo panicked for a moment, turned around and walked towards the car, what happened to him, he mistakenly thought that he saw his missing wife.

An Yao ran a few steps quickly, and put one hand on the door of the car, "I want to be a military doctor. I know my uncle has the right. Please help me."

"Oh, why do you have to be a military doctor?"

"My parents are dead, I have nowhere to go."

Xing Fuguo withdrew his smile, seeing that the rain was getting heavier and heavier, he moved his position and called An Yao to get in the car to avoid the rain.An Yao didn't move at first, until Xing Fuguo noticed her bare feet, and then pulled her into the car.Water droplets slid down An Yao's cheeks, she knew that Xing Fuguo was pitying her, but she didn't need any sympathy or false love.

However, one move by Xing Fuguo made her overturn her perception of senior officials.

Xing Fuguo took out a white handkerchief from his pocket, lifted her little muddy feet, and carefully cleaned the soles of her feet bit by bit, and then got a band-aid from the driver, and stuck it on the scratched feet.Perhaps feeling the trembling from her body, Xing Fuguo put her feet into his coat and smiled kindly.

"Don't pity me..." An Yao held back tears.

"Why is it pitiful? Uncle loves you." Xing Fuguo rubbed her wet head curtain, and took a dry towel to help her wipe her head.

At this time, the soldiers who were looking for An Yao along the road came in a hurry, An Yao subconsciously took Xing Fuguo's arm, and Xing Fuguo smiled and protected her body.After the soldiers saluted Xing Fuguo, they reported An Yao's identity and situation.

Hearing this, Xing Fuguo felt very uncomfortable, so for the first time, he made a decision without consideration——

"Son, why don't you go home with your uncle? There is a mischievous bad boy in your uncle's house, who is about your age. Uncle thinks you can be good friends."

An Yao was lying under Xing Fuguo's armpit, the warm air enveloped her cold body, but her father had never hugged her like this before.She wrapped her arms around Xing Fuguo's body, tied a pair of small hands around his waist, it was so warm...

"No, I want to follow Uncle. I can clean your car, cook for you, and wash your clothes."

Xing Fuguo was stunned, he could see how much this girl longed for her parents' care, the longing made his heart ache.

"Uncle, can you take me to see the dead bodies of my parents?..."

Xing Fuguo did not answer right away, but called the person in charge of An Yao's parents' unit. He soon learned that the bodies of An Yao's parents had been soaked in the flood for several days, and now they were beyond recognition.

"Don't look at the child, uncle will take you away." Xing Fuguo was unwilling to tell her this cruel fact.

"If you let me take a look, I'll go home with you..." An Yao vaguely heard their conversation.

"Are you really brave enough to face it?"

An Yao nodded firmly. If she couldn't even see her parents for the last time, she would be so pitiful.

……

Fifteen hours of the journey had passed, and An Yao was still holding the photo of her parents, with a pair of muddy white sneakers beside her. She didn't eat, drink or sleep, her heart seemed to be dead at this moment.

At the same time, he was reborn at this moment.

My mother was a military doctor, and she was on a small wooden boat helping victims of the disaster. My father and other soldiers formed a human wall and dragged the refugee boat trapped in the middle of the water.According to the memories of the survivors afterwards, the father was the first to bear the brunt of the hardships and dangers, tightly holding the mother's hands, and pulling the wooden boat with all his strength.

Just because Dad crossed the safe zone, he was unfortunately involved in the whirlpool.The mother, who was already out of danger, jumped into the torrent to save her father. At this moment, a crazy torrent broke through the dam and submerged the couple.

Three days later, when the bodies of An Jia and his wife surfaced, they still held hands and walked through the last part of their life.

……

An Yao walked into the morgue alone. Although his face was blurred, his father held his mother's hand and held each other tightly.

She just watched like that, facing the inseparable pair of parents who could no longer see the facial features clearly, she didn't feel afraid or cry.

He walked forward slowly, hugged the cold body of his parents, closed his eyes, and said something silently.

After a long time, she knelt in front of her parents and kowtowed three times.

The daughter suddenly had the courage to live;

Dad, Mom, please go all the way.

……

In the car
"Uncle Xing, will your son hate me?"

"You said Xing Kai... no."

"Why not." An Yao asked quietly.

"Because he is my good son Xing Fuguo, haha."

An Yao raised his eyes, and saw from Xing Fuguo's eyes his love for his son, well, since Uncle Xing needs her to accompany his only son, she will do her best.

Seeing that she was silent, Xing Fuguo took her in his arms and patted her. An Yao leaned against Xing Fuguo's shoulder. Gradually, a relieved smile appeared on his lips... Father sacrificed his life to save mother, and mother also sacrificed his life to save mother. Saving her father also gave up her precious life, she thought, this is love.

Terrible and enviable love, maybe they were not so in love, maybe they were still arguing in the first minute, but at the moment of life and death, they really fell in love.

It turns out that the most terrifying thing in this world is love.

Love makes two people who love each other stop cherishing life, as if they only belong to each other, they are fearless and selfish.

The sky is unpredictable, people have misfortunes, so she should not be that selfish person.If she fell in love with a man, and that man also loved her, then she would never let that man know the truth, and she wanted him to live a good life.

……

——However, whether it was An Yao at that time or Xing Yu now, she always ignored the most important point.

Once you give all your love, when you regard the other person as your life, it proves that the other person also loves you deeply.Because he loves you and only has you in his eyes, you are willing to give everything for him.What the other party gives back to you is not only love, but also life at his disposal.Without you, his life would be a waste of breath.

The so-called unswerving love until death is definitely not wishful thinking.

(End of this chapter)