Don't be too personal, don't be too impersonal

Chapter 13 Low-key survival is wisdom and art (3)
Until one day, a celebrity's agency called and said that the article Li Ming and the others posted on the website was purely fabricated, and if they didn't delete it, they would have to wait for a court summons.When my colleagues heard such words, they put the responsibility entirely on Li Ming, saying that a college student who had just graduated started writing scribbles without seeing the world.

Li Ming was sad and disappointed when he heard such words, so he handed in his resignation that day.In fact, the boss of the company admired him very much, and then repeatedly tried to persuade him to stay, but he still refused.

In fact, as far as this matter is concerned, it is not a big deal. Li Ming can pretend not to hear and continue to work, but sometimes we have to keep a little principle and temper for ourselves, because the more you let others bully you, the more others will Will be more arrogant.So, don’t always worry about this, worry about that, don’t always think that others are OK and you just follow, for you, your own feeling is the most important, if you don’t like it, tell others NO, if you are always like this No The good temper of principle will only make people feel weak and deceitful, and can't bear the responsibility.

[-]. Leave a way out for others
In real life, we often meet some people who are always aggressive. They always criticize other people without restraint. A little retreat and self-space for others.They are reluctant to listen to other people's opinions and feel that their own words are good enough opinions for others.In fact, in the process of getting along with people, we must learn to leave a little retreat for others, leave a little room for negotiation, and don't act arbitrarily.Don't regard "doing everything without leaving any room" as a personality, it will only make us hurt others constantly, and put us in a tense and dangerous environment, making us unable to feel at ease and peaceful.

Whether it is between man and nature, or between man and man, there are certain laws of survival.Only by giving in to each other and coexisting peacefully can we live in peace.And once one party breaks this law, it will definitely pay the price.

In fact, everyone needs a retreat.While we leave a way out for ourselves, we should also not forget to leave a way out for others.In fact, sometimes leaving a way out for others is also giving yourself a way out.It seems that for every athlete who participates in a marathon, in order to reach the finish line, not only need to persevere, but also learn to leave a way for oneself.Marathon runners challenge themselves, but not their lives.In the marathon, the lack of oxygen, high temperature, or road conditions will bring many obstacles to the athletes, and sometimes some of them will even pay for it with their lives.Therefore, in the process of running a marathon, if we feel unwell, we choose not to persist. This is to leave a retreat for life. When we are in a dilemma, we should bravely choose to quit and recharge our batteries before proceeding to the next one. Contest.Similarly, if we are the coaches of marathon runners, we should also know how to leave a way out for the lives of others, and we should not just blindly care about the success or failure of the moment, and put others into a dangerous situation.

Don't always force others to have no way out, because in this world, everything is equivalent, and giving others a way out is equivalent to leaving a way out for yourself. This is not timidity, cowardice or shrinking, but In order to move forward more firmly for each other.If you just force others to follow the route you set, and rush on the road without thinking about any retreat in the process, then you will only return home in the end. "Be forgiving and forgiving", "Take a step back and see the sea and the sky", when we tolerate and tolerate others, we actually leave a retreat for ourselves.

In Greek mythology, a king named Minos launched a war against Athens in order to avenge the murder of his son. His action forced the Athenians to send 7 pairs of virgins to Crete every few years. Used to feed the strange cow that Minos kept in the labyrinth of Crete.Prince Theseus of Athens decided to kill the man-eating cow, so he went to Crete with 13 other virgins.The design of the maze is very complicated, and no one who goes in can come out alive.For this reason, Theseus thought of a way. He first conquered the daughter of King Minos with his own charm, and then asked the princess how to get out of the maze. Finally, he not only succeeded in killing the strange cow, but also Return safely to Athens.In fact, the way out of the maze is very simple: take a ball of thread, start to release the thread when entering the maze, and finally return along the line.

In fact, in our lives, we often encounter the "Maze of Crete".We don't want to fail, and we don't want to be slaughtered by others, so we always want to bravely break through.However, many times, we just go on the rampage with guts, are not careful enough, and don't consider things well enough, so we get ourselves into a maze from which we cannot escape.

When a university professor talked about the word "sharing", he told a story of his own experience.He said that when he first became a university professor, he received a letter from his family saying that his family had a quarrel with their neighbors over the shared four-meter base between the two rooms, and it ended up in court. .The family hopes that he will use his contacts outside to clear up the relationship and win the lawsuit.After the professor finished reading the letter, he smiled calmly and replied a letter, which said: The purpose of reciting Buddhist scriptures is for the world to understand and recite them, people read books to be respected by others, and the land is left there just to make it easier for people to walk Well, so what if whose?It's better to let yourself be a reasonable person and give him the land.

After reading the letter, the family discussed it and felt that what the professor said made sense, so they gave up the two-meter-wide base.When the neighbor saw it, he felt that he had done too much, so he offered to give in. As a result, the two parties agreed to give up two meters for sharing, so there was a four-meter-wide road between the two families.

Just imagine, if the professor really wins the lawsuit by using his contacts, but the neighbors still refuse to give in, then the two sides must compete on the two-meter-wide site, and I am afraid that in the last two meters it will become one. There is even a slit that is a foot wide, and even a slit is still competing, but now a four-meter-wide road has been formed because of mutual concessions, which not only promotes the relationship between the two families, but also allows both parties to expand on their respective bases. why not?

Therefore, don't always be greedy for the small profits in front of you. When you encounter problems, don't always think about your own interests. You should sit down and talk with everyone calmly. You will find that if you respect others, then you will get more. It's not just one foot.

[-]. Avoid "eating alone" at any time

There are many people who like to enjoy the glory of winning alone in the battle for fame and fortune, and always take credit for all achievements. However, the consequences of doing so will eventually cause your team to leave you because they feel You no longer need them, and their efforts have not been rewarded as they should.Imagine, if a dynasty only has a ruler, can it achieve great things?On the contrary, if we can attribute every achievement to the joint efforts of everyone, then not only will you not lose the fame and fortune you want, but you will also gain everyone's admiration and establish your own prestige.You should know that "eating alone" is not a good "personality" that people like. The real personality is to be able to share with others and get more from sharing.

We must know how to be humble. No matter what kind of people we face, we should speak to them with an attitude and tone of asking for advice, because people in this world should not be judged by appearances. "There are people outside people, and there is a sky outside the sky." At the critical moment, I will help you through a period of muddy and bumpy life.

Perhaps, you have developed a selfish thought pattern and habit.You think that "people are not for themselves, heaven and earth will destroy" is a truth, and you take "things that have nothing to do with oneself, hang high" as the true meaning of your life.You think people should be like this, and only in this way can you keep yourself from being hurt.Maybe it's the world around you that makes you think this way, you see too many selfish people who don't want their wives, children, or even their parents for their own benefit, you think the world is scary, so you feel that only protection Only by being good to yourself can you survive in this world.

Therefore, you scramble for fame, money, and status by any means. You have to fight for what you think belongs to you, and you also want to snatch what doesn’t belong to you, and then hold up the "trophies" to declare your ownership to the world.

Lao Tzu wrote in the "Tao Te Ching": "Governing a big country is like cooking a small fish." Maybe many people don't understand how a country's rulers can be compared with chefs?In fact, if you think about it carefully, cooking is to add various ingredients and seasonings, and then processed and blended by chefs to make delicious food with excellent color and fragrance; while governing the country is to deploy the army and courtiers through personal ability, and finally achieve political harmony. .The earliest circle culture in China began in the Warring States period. At that time, the four gentlemen of the Warring States period attracted three thousand diners under their door, and held cultural banquets of all sizes every day.Just imagine, if you are a good cook but you are unwilling to share it with others, who will know your superb skills and who will praise you?

Therefore, sharing can also help you enhance your inner potential.Just like the story in the above example, if you generously share your cooking skills with friends and family around you, you can get more and better suggestions.We often say that there are as many Hamlets as there are spectators.If you share your cooking skills, you will get suggestions from everyone; if you only know how to appreciate yourself, then you will always stand still and have no hope of progress.

There is such an interesting story: At a banquet, a young man recommended a kind of "sweet and sour cola" to the chairman of a famous cheese company. The chairman thought it was good after tasting it, and bought the technology from the young man on the spot. , the young man thus became the founder of this technology, and also got a lot of money.

Once, a friend of the chairman wanted to buy coffee. The chairman took out "Sweet and Sour Coke" and said, "Why don't you try this too." How about taking it out so that more people can taste its beauty?So, he started giving away for free.Later, everyone became more and more addicted to drinking, and felt embarrassed that they always refused to pay, so they called to ask if they could buy it. The chairman rejected everyone's request and continued to insist on giving it away for free.You must know that the products he delivered were technologies that he bought with his own money, and the manpower and material resources spent in the delivery process were also of great value. Many people were puzzled by his approach.

Later, the chairman told everyone a very simple truth: If you are willing to share with others, others will take a closer look at you. What does it mean for a company?Means your stuff will be noticed.Although giving away this drink for free caused a loss of nearly 30 billion, but on the other hand, the company's revenue this year has exceeded 700 billion.

Don't feel that if you share it with others, you will lose it.In fact, you will not lose, maybe although you lose on the surface, you actually gain more from other aspects.For example, when we were young, we all knew to find playmates with our toys, because if you only have toys and no playmates, you can only play alone, but if you are willing to share with others, then there are two, three or even More playmates to play with you.

The more beautiful things are, the more we need to know how to share them with others. The consequence of "eating alone" can only make us lose more while we think we get it.No matter what kind of environment we are in, we should not be stingy, and we should take out what we think is good and share it with everyone, so that we will definitely have unexpected gains.

[-]. Don't be an annoying nag
Nagging, this kind of behavior is often disgusting.When others are in a tense state of work, if someone keeps nagging beside them, then others will take the trouble to build a wall to isolate the nagging person's words.In life, those who like to nag are often those who are "too personalityless". They don't have personality, ability and means to change their current situation, and they can't solve the things they don't like, so they can only use non-stop nagging To vent your dissatisfaction.

However, the more you talk about it, the higher the walls others will erect for you, and finally drive you crazy, while others, apart from disgust, are stingy at giving you sympathy, common hatred and other emotions.So, they start reading newspapers, playing computer games, and doing housework, and ignore you with a dull face and pretending to be deaf.

No one likes someone nagging in their ears, so they leave you alone, and you will gradually develop feelings of resentment, feeling that you are restrained and isolated by others.The more nagging a person is, the more alone, lonely, and unattended they become.

In fact, in many cases, nagging is just an unfocused nagging. For example, a colleague borrowed your pen but forgot to tell you that you searched for it for a long time when you used it, so you became very angry, thinking that the other party wasted your time.Why don't you give up the first time you can't find it, just borrow someone else's pen, and then look for your pen when you have time?If you keep nagging just for this matter, it will only be self-defeating and cause a situation that is not good for yourself. Others will think you are stingy and like to chatter.With this kind of mentality, you are always nagging about big and small things, which will not only affect your day-to-day work mood, but also make you form a bad habit over time, and even cause you to confront others, resent and even fight situation.

(End of this chapter)