Don't be too personal, don't be too impersonal

Chapter 14 Low-key survival is wisdom and art (4)
When we face our boss, we should pay more attention to the danger of nagging.When we find that the boss has not done something, we will remind him, or simply help him, because this is our job.But some people don’t think so. He feels that nothing will threaten his position and blindly thinks that he is irreplaceable. He may start to think about his boss: why should he do everything?Can't the boss do it by himself?Such behavior is not only useless, it may lead to a rigid relationship with the boss, and may even lose one's job.

Know that those whose jobs are fulfilling and enjoyable rarely nag.Smart people usually put all their minds on their work, always thinking about how they can do their best work and get compliments.He also takes the initiative to get the job done if his partner isn't doing what he's supposed to do.

And people who like nagging always find various reasons for big and small things, nagging and complaining everywhere, and they always like to hold on to other people's small mistakes and not let go.

Lin Feng works in a cultural company. One day when she was reading a heavy copy, a colleague kindly poured her a cup of pure coffee, hoping to refresh her mind and relieve the pressure of work.However, not only did she not say thank you, but she also lost her temper after taking a sip, thinking that her colleague did it on purpose, knowing that she didn't like to drink such bitter coffee, and annoyed her when she was immersed in her work.The more she thought about it, the more angry she was, and she was about to pour it out with the coffee, but she ran into another colleague and spilled the coffee all over her body, which aroused her grievance and anger even more.

So her mood became extremely bad that day, and she started talking non-stop.She told her good friend first, feeling that she had been greatly wronged, but in the eyes of her friend, this was not something worth mentioning, but she felt that she was too unreasonable to make trouble.So, Lin Feng angrily found another friend, and continued nagging, and changed the topic of nagging to his friend who said that he was unreasonable, and then talked about what happened today, feeling that he was really wronged.After listening to Lin Feng repeating it three times, her friend said: "If you continue to say this, I will also think that you are making trouble for no reason."

Lin Feng hung up the phone angrily, sitting on the bus, the person next to her touched her, which made it harder to calm down the anger in her heart.She looked at the damn red light outside the window, and felt that everything was against her today. When she got home, she continued to tell her family that she was not going well, and she still had anger in her heart until she fell asleep.

From that day on, she became more and more nagging, the relationship in the company became more and more tense, no one poured her coffee, no one borrowed her things, and when she spoke, others just politely perfunctory.

Don't complain and nag endlessly until everyone around you is separated from you by a thick barrier.The relationship between people is very delicate. If you give others understanding, they will give you more tolerance.

[-]. Everyone has a time to be a grandson

When we step out of the university and enter the society, we often feel that we have been despised, suspected or even wronged intentionally or unintentionally by others.You feel that both your personality and self-esteem have been greatly hurt, and you even feel that sometimes you live like a "grandson".

Society is a circle. If you want to survive in this circle, you must wear off your thorns and make yourself less "personal".Maybe you are so good, so good that your bohemian personality has been tolerated by everyone since you were young, and you look down on those who nod and bow to others.You don't realize that from the moment you walk out of school, you have stepped into a society that no longer easily tolerates you and forgives you. It is full of competition and interests.Maybe you are really good, but being good is just the basic hardware for you to survive, not the capital you can be proud of.You are proud and full of confidence to meet the new challenges you will face, but you are too immature to understand that from this moment on, all your advantages can only be reflected in profits.You may be proud of your academic qualifications, but this realistic society only pays attention to how much efficiency you can bring to the company and how much profit you can make. To them, academic qualifications are just a piece of paper.

After leaving school, your first job may not be your major in university, or what you like.Because you want to be financially independent as soon as possible, you are passionate and feel that you have unremitting fighting spirit.However, one day you suddenly find that what you can do is very different from what you imagined. Except for serving tea and pouring water, and doing the same boring work every day, you seem to have achieved nothing.

There is such a story: a migrating swallow was so cold that its whole body was frozen stiff, and finally lost consciousness and fell from the sky.It happened to fall in a field, and looking at the desolate fields around it, it thought it was going to die.At this time, a donkey came over and pulled some dung on it. The frozen swallow felt very warm lying in the donkey's dung, and its body slowly returned to its original temperature. It was happy. A song was sung.At this time, a fox heard the swallow's singing and wanted to see what happened. Following the singing, the fox found the swallow lying in the feces enjoying himself alone, so he quickly grabbed it and ate it.

Don't think that you are a genius. There are many people who are more talented than you in this world. You must know that "there are others", always be prepared for danger in times of peace, and be able to bend and stretch in the face of setbacks, so that you can live a better life.

After a long time, people called Jay Chou a genius.You know, he was not a student with very good grades. He didn't even get into college. For a while, he could only support himself by washing dishes.Think about how many people ridiculed him for being unable to speak clearly at the beginning of his debut, and now, he has shown people his unique music style-Chinese style.He promoted the development of Chinese pop music and is a representative of Asian pop music.Later, he was the biggest winner at the major award ceremonies, and he and his team won countless awards, large and small.I remember at an awards ceremony, he said: "I can't make everyone like me, because I'm not a god. But I will stick to my own creation, stick to my own music style, who calls me Jay Chou."

For some people who want to do great things, they often follow a rule: don't always complain about things that can't be changed. Your complaints will only make those who laugh at you more proud.We should have all heard the story of how Cao Cao could let go of his guard against Liu Bei when "cooking wine and talking about heroes", or in other words, if Liu Bei hadn't been careful and forbearing, I'm afraid history will be rewritten.

Lao Tzu said: "The crooked is perfect, the crooked is straight, the crooked is full, the crooked is new, the less is the gain, the more is confusing." We often say that a man can bend and stretch. Accumulate more strength.Don't think that your talent is enough to make you play all situations. Really smart people always want to be confused.

The president of a certain bank said in a lecture: "My parents never cared about me since I was a child. I was very poor at that time. My parents thought that as long as I could have enough to eat. But I thought why should I spend my whole life just for I am muddled here, why should I continue to live a life where I can only have enough to eat. Later, I came to the city alone to work hard. What is it that I am able to stand here today? It is not this mouth, and of course it is not my talent. What kind of talents can I have only with a junior high school degree? Everyone wants to know what I rely on. I want to tell you that I only rely on my two hands and two legs. The previous winter was very cold, but because my family was poor, I did not have Bike, so I had to walk two hours to get a car, and another three hours to go to the company. Walking and sweating in winter, you can’t understand that feeling. When everyone is resting, I have to help the leader I was only fifteen or sixteen years old when I moved the gas tank. According to what you say now, I should still be holding it in the hands of my parents, but I had to move the gas tank from the first floor to the seventh floor by myself. At that time, I Just thinking that one day I will reach the height I want step by step like these steps I walked. Now there are some children who are pampered and spoiled all day long. They think they have a little talent and they lift their heads to the sky. What Is it success? The so-called success is that when you have a talent that others cannot surpass, you are still willing to bend down to help others tie their shoelaces; You should remember that if you want to be someone else’s uncle, you must first learn how to be a good grandson.”

Since ancient times, those who can achieve great things must first endure the tests in life.Mencius said it well: "Heaven will send a great mission to the people. First, they must suffer their minds and wills, exhaust their muscles and bones, starve their bodies and skins, empty their bodies, and chaotic their actions. No.” Therefore, if you want to become a towering tree, you must first learn how to be a grass that is trampled under the feet of others.It's not that only the strong can survive, but the one who survives in the end is the real strong. If you can't work hard to "be a good grandson" and let yourself survive when you are weak and not valued, then it is impossible , There is no chance to become the last strong, or the winner.

[-]. The one who laughs last laughs the sweetest

Sometimes we always feel that we are too unlucky, and we can't figure out why we are angry with the boss for working overtime every day, while others can drink coffee leisurely.Sometimes you even feel that the boss is deliberately finding fault with you, and you feel that he doesn't want to keep you in the company at all.But after thinking about it, you can't find a reason for him to do so.Until one day, you see that those people who are leisurely drinking coffee do not come to work again, at this time your boss may tell you: "Why don't I use a hard-working person instead of a whole group of people who do nothing and only know how to drink coffee?" Woolen cloth?"

After work, you will gradually discover a problem, the boss always likes to play tricks.When he doesn't like someone, he won't say it on purpose, and when he likes a certain employee, he won't show it on purpose. Sometimes he even praises the employees he doesn't like and criticizes the employees he likes.For example, in a task, he divides an employee he likes and dislikes together. If the task fails in the end, he will severely criticize the employee he likes.In fact, the reason is very simple. Once we think about the problem from the perspective of the boss, we will find that no one is willing to spend energy to criticize and correct those employees who they do not value and are unwilling to spend energy on training.Being wronged and criticized for a while can sometimes make you grow faster and better. We must know that only the one who laughs last is the real winner.

Temporary failure is actually nothing to be afraid of, and optimistic people will be happy because of it.Because seeing failure, they will know more about what they lack, so that they can make more adequate preparations for the next sailing.In fact, there are too many people who fail only because they are afraid of trying, deciding, and failing. They always lack the courage and courage that successful people should possess.

Some people, they only insist on doing one thing in their lives, because they understand that people don’t have much time to do too many things in this life, it is better to spend all their time doing one thing and do it well. most.There are also some people who always feel that they have too many things to do, and they cannot resist the temptation brought to them by the outside world. "Persistence" always makes people feel long and hopeless, but in fact, persistence is an emotion. Whether you vent or rebel, you can make it a mood in your life, especially when you can predict persistence. As a result, you will become happy.There is a kind of practice in the world that is actually the essence of persistence: enduring the loneliness and loneliness that no one pays attention to or understands.

Maybe you have a good job at the moment, but don't be blindly optimistic that you can go on like this forever.Because when you are smooth sailing and proud everywhere, the danger is likely to be getting closer and closer to you.

Maybe you are in despair at the moment, you can't find a suitable job, you have no experience, no experience, no funds, no connections, everything you face makes you feel the breath of frustration surrounding you.You are always wondering a question, why can others become rich overnight?In fact, you have overlooked a lot. You must know that every successful person is not as simple as buying a lottery ticket. They spend a lot of time and energy on the road to success. They cheer up in the face of failures. Their perseverance And courage are beyond your imagination.

In real life, no matter what you do, it is impossible to be smooth sailing. As a salesperson, you may encounter customers who make things difficult for you. As a designer, in addition to basic staying up late and working overtime, you also have to deal with demanding customers.We may inevitably suffer a lot in the process of struggle. At that time, you may feel that you have lost a lot, such as freedom, self, and even love.However, we should believe that we will have the last laugh and get the sweetest fruit. At that time, the hardships and pains we have experienced before will become insignificant.

Those experiences and gains during our struggle are very important, but the result seems to be more important.It can even be said that the results can summarize all your experiences and evaluate all your efforts and hard work.Therefore, in the process of struggle, we don't have to pay too much attention to the little success or failure, but always remind ourselves to look up at the ultimate goal.The most important thing is that in the process, one learns one's wisdom, sums up experience, develops strengths and avoids weaknesses. This is what a successful person should possess.Instead of just focusing on a little achievement in front of you, self-appreciation, self-obsession, arrogance, or even a blind eye.

There are two writers, one writes articles all day long, can always publish some articles in newspapers, earn some money, and sometimes get reported by newspapers, the other always reads books, but has been slow to write.The former laughed at the latter and said, "Look at how poor you are, and don't make some money to live?" The latter smiled and continued to read.Later, the latter became the winner of the Booker Prize for Literature, while the former still helped others write some articles at home to make ends meet.In the interview with the reporter, the latter smiled and said: "Don't pay attention to those who laugh at you for your useless work at the moment, the next moment your changes will make them dumbfounded."

We should always remember that the sweetness is the last laugh.So, forget about those temporary small achievements, or small setbacks, and never forget the final goal ahead, success is the last laugh.

(End of this chapter)