Don't be too personal, don't be too impersonal

Chapter 2 I'm not teaching you to cheat, this world is too complicated (1)
[-]. Prepare yourself a mask

Many people have discovered from the moment they stepped into society that people seem to wear masks when interacting with each other, whether they are pretending to be happy or rich.Many of them, perhaps because the masks have been worn for so long that it is difficult to take them off, their faces have almost merged with the masks.Whether it's just for self-protection, to cover up the truth, or for some other purpose, most people start to build a mask for themselves from the moment they know the world, and they refuse to take it off every moment of their lives.Although this mask is invisible, it does exist in everyone's heart.Don't rush to deny it, we all wear an unknown mask in our lives, maybe sometimes we don't even know its existence.Don't be afraid that others will say you are hypocritical because you wear a mask. You must know that everyone has their own mask, but some people wear it so cleverly that others can't see it.In this complex society, wearing a mask is no longer a derogatory term. After all, protecting yourself is the most important thing, and wearing a mask will give yourself an extra layer of protection to some extent.

Don't hate or despise masks first, don't always think that people who wear masks must be hypocritical, have ulterior motives and malicious intentions, and will definitely be detrimental to the public.When you urge masked people to take off their masks and show their true colors, it also shows your inner fear and lack of self-confidence.It is precisely because you have no way to wear your own mask well, cannot skillfully use your own mask to adapt to this world, and you cannot be better accepted and recognized by others, so you hate and envy those who can skillfully use your own mask.In fact, what you hate is that they are so popular because of their smooth manners.You fear your future will look bleak compared to them.Don't be afraid, jealousy doesn't do anything, and if you hinder others because of jealousy, you will be even more unpopular.It is impossible for everyone to take off their masks. Only when we put on our masks well and learn how to use them skillfully can we adapt to this society and your career will be smooth sailing.

It doesn't matter whether the mask is true or false, it exists independently of one's own face, so don't say that anyone is wearing a real mask or a fake mask.Whether you can wear the mask to the level of proficiency is actually closely related to a person's personality.People who wear so-called real masks are just people with relatively flexible characters who are willing to wear masks to protect themselves, and they become familiar with their masks over time.They wear masks to be kind and helpful, and we feel that he is familiar, so people don't think he is wearing a mask.We must also constantly improve our character, be able to see through the world, and learn to adapt to society.After seeing clearly and seeing through some things, I still insist on being myself, and even learn to wear a mask that suits me to protect myself.In fact, there are many people in society who do not wear masks, and there are many reasons for not wearing masks, but the reasons for wearing masks are very clear. First of all, we must clarify the reasons for wearing masks and give ourselves a reason for wearing masks.

First of all, let's put aside the character and let's summarize the reasons for wearing a mask: first, to achieve your own goals; second, for self-protection;People wear a mask, if not for beauty or out of spite, to hide their insecurities.In this complex society, we learn to wear a mask in order to skillfully deal with all kinds of accidents in life.

Don't feel sad and helpless because you have to wear a mask, everything is to better adapt to society.Take poets as an example. Poets are great and emotional. They can use romantic verses to describe the life they dream of. However, they also feel helpless about life. The touch of life.

please don't believe my beauty

don't believe in my love

Beneath the painted face

I have the heart of an actor

so please don't
don't take my sorrow seriously
Don't break your heart with my show
Dear friends

in this life
i'm just a prankster
forever in someone else's story

shed my own tears
Everyone wears their own mask, but at different times, everyone wears a different mask.

As a student, you should wear a mask for your teachers and classmates.It doesn't matter if your grades are not good, the key is to have a good relationship with your classmates and teachers.The people you often come into contact with at school are teachers and classmates. If you want to get along well with your classmates and make the teacher like you, you have to be a good friend in the eyes of your classmates, always think about your classmates, and be a good student in the eyes of the teacher. Please the teacher and listen to the teacher.

As a child in the eyes of your parents, you have to wear a mask of filial piety.You can achieve nothing and have no pursuit, but you must not hurt your parents' hearts.Your parents have worked hard to bring you up. In order to make your life safe and smooth, they even arrange your work and life properly.They are the engineers of your life, who have drawn the blueprint of your life for you. In their eyes, you only need to build your own life building according to the blueprint to live comfortably and comfortably.You can not live according to your parents' plan, but you must not hurt your parents' hearts, and you must be a child who is filial to your parents.

As a lover, you have to put on a gentle and considerate mask for yourself.When getting along with your lover, you have to wear your own mask, and you have to try your best to show your thoughtfulness and concern for the other party, and make the other party indulge in your thoughtfulness.Of course, there is no real caring, but most of this only exists in the early stage of love. When you get to know each other and lose your enthusiasm for each other, you may take off your masks and treat each other as you are. At this time, it is It is very dangerous, and you are likely to break up because you can't adapt to each other without the mask.

As a subordinate, you need to wear a mask of yourself at work.In front of your boss, you should try your best to express yourself, but you can't be too showy, which will steal the boss's spotlight; at the same time, you should also show your modest side, so that you can avoid the boss who doesn't like your arrogance. You make trouble.

[-]. Be a good person, but don’t be abusive

There is a saying that "a good person lives a safe life", we are all willing to be a kind and good person.To be a good person, you must be caring, kind, and helpful, so a good person must be happy to appear in every corner where others need it.However, when we are being a good person, we must not forget that there is a limit to everything. We want to be a good person, but we should not be a good person or abusive.When we do things, we can’t just ignore them, say yes to whoever asks you for help, and say yes to anyone who asks you to help, regardless of whether you can help or not, never consider your own situation and ability, and the result is likely to backfire and become a disservice to people.

The so-called "abuse of good people" has already lost their own personality and principles of doing things. Lose yourself in all kinds of chores and troubles, and it is likely to be thankless.

In life and work, when a friend or colleague asks you for help, you must first consider the order in which you do things before agreeing. help others.Otherwise, in the end, I will be too busy and exhausted to achieve anything, and I will not get the gratitude and appreciation of others. Although I am a "good person" in interpersonal relationships, I will lose points instead.

Being helpful can help you gain more friendship and respect, and have a positive impact on your career development. However, we cannot be a good person who has no principles and does not know how to weigh the pros and cons. responsible person.So how can we be a "good person"?

1. Not being Mr. Nice.

The so-called good man just laughs away any unreasonable harm he has suffered. It seems that he is very tolerant and generous, but in fact it is a manifestation of irresponsibility for himself.Imagine that if you are bitten by a dog, instead of warning the owner of the dog, you would praise the dog for being good, then others will only think you are stupid, and will not appreciate you for it, and think you are a generous and good person; When you are hit by a car, you don’t hold the driver responsible, and tell him that you are fine and it’s all your fault, then the driver is likely to cause another accident because he doesn’t pay attention to his mistakes, so don’t be unprincipled The abuse of good people.

2. Do not believe what other people say.

Being a "good person" for a long time will not only lose your principles, but also your own opinions.In order to avoid this situation, you should pay attention to cultivating your own judgment and decision-making ability.When you hear other people's opinions or suggestions, you must first judge whether these opinions or suggestions are practical and suitable for you. No one knows yourself better than yourself, so you have to check this for yourself. Introspect and improve yourself.For those people whose words are always unfair, we should be on guard against them, don't believe their words easily, and even stay away from them intentionally so as not to cause unnecessary trouble and waste our time and energy.

3. Have the courage to say "no".

When someone asks you for help, we must be careful not to make mistakes that are beyond our control. Don't focus on improving your position in others' hearts. Before agreeing to help, we must first see if we have that ability. Don't be blind Promise without hesitation, lest in the end not only fail to help people, but also offend them.

4. When you do not have the strength to help others, be humble and sober. It is best not to push yourself in front of everyone and become the object of others' help.

It should be noted that "the heights are too cold", and insufficient strength will definitely lead to an embarrassing situation of a dilemma.If you have a strong ability to analyze problems and handle affairs, and have excellent qualities, then even if you are poor, you can maintain a strong charm, so that people around you will admire you, believe in you, and eventually become the object they turn to for help , get more contacts and respect.

We should understand that abusing a good person is not a real "good person", and being a good person is a wrong attitude and way of doing things.Be a good person, but don't be a bad person.We must let ourselves have the strength to be a good person, and gain the respect of others by being a good person, but we must do it on the basis of "not being a good person blindly".

[-]. It is better to offend a gentleman than to offend a villain

If we want to achieve great things, we need to understand that in many cases, some small people will affect the changes of the whole situation. In dealing with people, we would rather offend a gentleman than a villain.Offending a gentleman is like being accidentally injured by a stray bullet on the battlefield. It may be very painful, but it will not hurt the muscles and bones, and it is an obvious injury that is easy to heal; Internal organs, although they don't hurt too much at the time, will be fatal once they attack.Once you offend the villain, it is like planting a landmine around yourself, which is in danger of exploding anytime, anywhere.Therefore, it is better to offend a gentleman than to offend a villain.

Maybe you will despise and despise villains, maybe your proud and righteous personality will start to protest again, but we must know that no matter how big a ship is, it is most afraid of encountering "reefs", and no matter how strong the wood is, it is also afraid of "worms". "No matter how powerful the dynasty is, it can't stand the plot of the "villain".Therefore, we must pay attention to the role of villains in society, get along with them carefully, and deal with them carefully. When necessary, we must put away our true temperament of pride and justice, and let ourselves become less individual.

It is not terrible to offend a gentleman. A gentleman may complain about a disagreement, but a villain is good at disguising, even if he is angry, he will not show his face.If you offend a gentleman, you still know why you offended and how to fix it, but if you offend a villain, it often makes us feel like a cloud, and it is difficult to decipher.Offend a gentleman, you still have the possibility to resolve grievances, because a gentleman only recognizes reason, does not hold grudges, and leaves no trace after the incident, but offends a villain, you will have a group of enemies, and there will be no peace for a moment.

Guo Shanyu is the deputy director of a certain company. He has been diligent and conscientious in his work for many years.Later, the director of the company took a long leave due to illness and resigned, and recommended him to take over the post of director and preside over the work.Guo Shanyu's personality is relatively restrained and cautious, which is somewhat different from the bold and vigorous style of the former director.

There is also a department manager named Wang Yong in the company. He is capable of work, but he is scheming, good at flattering, and has a strong desire for power and money.When Guo Shanyu first took over the job, Wang Yong began to jump up and down as much as possible, trying to get Guo Shanyu to give him a promotion by means. Guo Shanyu disdained this person very much and let him do everything he could, but in the end he didn't get his wish.For this reason, Wang Yong has always held a grudge.In the next period of time, Wang Yong was very slack, not only did not cooperate with the work, but also deliberately made things difficult for Guo Shanyu, but Guo Shanyu always thought it was a disagreement at work and didn't take it to heart.

After that, Wang Yong started to move around again, spreading rumors in the company, saying that Guo Shanyu blatantly embezzled public funds, making the company's accounts unclear.In the end, the company's superiors intervened in the investigation and found that everything was false, but Guo Shanyu was tired of coping with such a toss, wasting a lot of time and energy in vain.

We must be careful at all times, see the people around us clearly, cultivate a pair of eyes to know people, understand the villains and gentlemen around us, and act on balance, so as not to capsize in the gutter.

In reality, there are many mediocre villains. Most of these people have no real talents and learning, but rely on some shady tricks to get ahead.For such people, we must be careful not to offend easily, and we must know that the villain's heart is unpredictable, and we are not afraid of the thief stealing but the thief thinking about it.

Don’t underestimate villains, villains’ methods are actually very unusual, they can create gossip, make trouble at critical moments, and a little carelessness will seriously affect your work or career.You have made great achievements in the front, but there are often cold shots coming from behind. Even if you have great skills, you can't prevent a fire in the backyard.Therefore, it is better to offend a gentleman than to easily offend a villain.

[-]. Learn to face the people you hate
In life, there will always be one or two people who have a worldview, outlook on life, and values ​​​​that are completely different from ours. This is understandable.However, if most of the people around us are very annoying people, we should reflect on whether we are not doing well enough.

A very experienced old teacher once did such a survey: He asked everyone in the class to write down the people they hated on a piece of paper, and promised that the note would be anonymous and would not be published.

After 10 minutes, the podium was full of notes.After watching it, the teacher told everyone a very strange phenomenon: the more names a person writes down, the more frequently he appears on other people's notes.In other words, when you hate more and more people, you are also hated by more and more people.

First of all, only by constantly optimizing our own personality and correcting some deficiencies in our personality can we better face those people we hate.When those we hate not only don't hate us, but like us very much, our character is changed very well.This is not hypocrisy, nor is it cunning, it just allows us to survive in this society more smoothly.

(End of this chapter)