Don't be too personal, don't be too impersonal

Chapter 20 Love is bread, not the spice of life (2)
[-]. It doesn’t pay off

People say that people in love tend to lose themselves, the other person is everything, and even a person with personality will lose himself.Sometimes, you may feel that you have paid a lot and the other party is everything to you, but the other party does not seem to regard you as important, and you will feel aggrieved.At this time, you always hold on to a question and refuse to let go: "Why do I love you so much, but you always hurt me like this?" In fact, love is full of imbalances, and love is like a scale. It is normal for the weight to be lifted up and down sometimes.So, when you start to care about giving and rewarding, maybe what you meet is not true love.

This is like a strange phenomenon when we were in school. For example, some students are playful, and they don’t see how they listen to the lectures in class, but they always get excellent grades; while some students are just the opposite, even though they don’t blink their eyes during class. I stared at the blackboard for fear of missing a word. After class, I worked hard on the questions, but my grades just couldn't improve.At this time, think about what parents and teachers have always said since childhood, "As long as you work hard and pay, there will be rewards", and you start to doubt, is this really the case?

Love is not a business, how much money you pay to buy, love is more like a person's life, none of us can rehearse, even if something goes wrong, there is no way to correct it.In fact, as long as a balance is reached, in a true relationship, if one person pays more and the other pays less, there is nothing to worry about.

Qatar was born in a very wealthy family, and there are always countless people around him.No one dared to say no to what he said, and his family sent cars to pick him up when he went in and out.Many people envy him this kind of life, and many girls show affection to him because of his wealthy family background.Only he knows he hates that feeling, like a canary in a cage, he wishes he could meet someone who doesn't care about his family background.

One day, Kada walked to the bus station alone. He looked around under the stop sign, not knowing how to get on the bus. At this time, a girl came over, looked at Kada and said politely: "What's the matter?" Can I help you?" Kada looked at the girl, pointed to the stop sign and said, "Can you tell me how to sit here?" The girl took out a coin from her pocket, pulled him and said, "Let's go, want to I'll take you wherever you go, it's free."

Kada looked at the girl and felt an inexplicable feeling in his heart. The girl took Kada from the beginning to the end of the car. Before parting, Kada asked for the girl's phone number.

Back home, Kada repeatedly thought about the girl he met today, and for some reason, he felt full of surprises in his heart. He thought this girl was what he was looking for.In the next few days, Kada always asked the girl out for various reasons, and the girl always politely agreed to him.After some consideration, Kada expressed his love to the girl.The girl said unexpectedly: "Qada, I just regard you as a good friend." Kada was like a deflated ball, and he said sadly: "Why can't you like me? Is there anything wrong with me?" The girl He smiled and said: "No, you are good in everything, for example, you have money, fame, and status that many girls like, but it is precisely because of these that we cannot be together." Kada was very surprised , the girl continued generously: "Do you think I didn't know you before? How could I not know about such famous people in school? But I didn't help you because of those, and I don't like rich people's children either. So let's just be good friends."

Although Kada was very sad, he was still unwilling to lose this girl. Kada said: "So, can we be good friends? Always be good friends and always care about each other?"

The girl said, "Of course, we can always be good friends."

Kada felt a little better, but he always believed that as long as he worked harder, he would succeed.Since then, Qatar has made this goal his belief.Finally, at the girl's birthday party two years later, Kada once again expressed his love for the girl in his heart. He said to the girl: "I know that I am not very good, and I also know that my family background requires you to follow me." We must face a lot of pressure when we are together, but I really like you, and I really want to be with you and take care of you. So, promise me, will you be my girlfriend?"

The girl was also very moved when she heard Kada's words, but she told herself that she had to make a rational decision. If she got together because of being moved, she would definitely break up in the future.So the girl took a deep breath and said: "Qada, what you said today really touched me. I understand that you are not like other rich kids. You are very sincere, but I think I still have to reject you. Because love is not something that can be obtained by being moved, maybe I am not the one you should cherish, I think it is better for us to be friends."

After hearing this, Qada felt very disappointed. When he got home, he told his mother about it.The mother touched Kada's head and said: "She answered you like this, which shows that she is not only a kind girl but also an honest girl. You should be happy that you have made such a friend. But child, you have to remember love It’s not that if you pay, you will definitely be rewarded. But, you can be good friends, after all, friendship can last forever.”

Maybe, you are the same as Kada now, the person you love doesn’t love you, or the other person already has his own heart, you are very sad, you feel that you have given your sincerity, but the other person still tells you that it is impossible, you I even have some doubts, whether I have no ability, or there is no place for you in this world of love.Don't think so, because in this world there must be someone waiting for you just like you, but it's not the time yet.Think about it carefully, in fact, isn't this the most wonderful thing about love? Some people can fall in love with each other with just one look, but some people will never meet the person they love in their entire life.Sometimes, happiness will come naturally without you having to search for it.

So, if you meet someone you like but doesn't like you at this moment, maybe you will feel the pain of loss.Love can be both joyful and worrying. When you have it, it is so beautiful and makes you intoxicated and fascinated.But also when it is lost, it will make people feel unbearably painful.

In fact, there is no equal giving and receiving in love itself, so why not think about it from another angle?I believe that when you give, you must lose a lot, such as self, such as pride, etc. These things you were unwilling to give up before, these are your personality and your unique side.However, if you lose yourself in love, you will not be happy.No matter what kind of feelings you face at any time, you must be your true self, otherwise you won't last long.If that's the case, might as well wave goodbye.Believe a little, there will be a day in the future, you will meet the person who really loves you without asking you to lose yourself.

[-]. Don't Say "I Love You" Easily

At the beginning of the relationship, the two parties are attracted to each other because of their personalities, and they are fascinated by each other. Then they know that there are three words in this world that make people obsessed and fascinated, and that is "I love you".Maybe you have always wanted to have your own love, maybe you have met now, the one who is saying these three words to you over and over again, and you are also happy for it; or maybe he has never said it to you once , This makes you confused and sad, you suspect that he doesn't love you, otherwise why would he even refuse to say three simple words to you, which makes you very wronged.You have even clearly told him that you don’t want a big house and only want a simple promise, but he still doesn’t want to express it to you; maybe it’s not that he doesn’t love you enough, but that he feels that the word love is too heavy to bear. There are too many, I don't want these three words to be a burden between you when I have no ability to do anything for you.

Why do so many people decide the direction of love at the moment they walk out of the campus, not because of the two-flyers from all over the world, because if you fall in love, you don't care how far the distance is, and there will be one person who can stay for the other person, then for what?Because campus love is too pure, there is no need to consider money, fame, status.You can ride a bicycle for a long distance just to eat a bowl of ramen for 3 yuan, but love in society is different, there are comparisons everywhere, if you meet someone who really loves you, if he doesn’t have enough ability When you do this, he won't say it so easily.People often say that love is selfish, but love is sometimes selfless, just like those who have no ability to make your life better will not say love easily.

There is such a story in Buddhism: It is said that as long as all living beings can be touched by the Buddha's light every day, they will penetrate the Buddha's nature. In this way, in a Yuanyin Temple, a snake became a snake with Buddha's light because it was touched by the Buddha's light. Buddha snake.

One day, the Buddha saw the snake and asked it: "You have practiced here for thousands of years, do you know what is the most precious thing in the world?"

The snake replied: "Of course it is something that can't be obtained and has been lost." The Buddha shook his head and left.

In this way, another 1000 years later, the Buddha asked the snake again: "Do you know the answer to the question 1000 years ago?"

The snake thought for a while and said: "The most precious thing in the world is what can't be obtained and has been lost." The Buddha shook his head and left again.

Another thousand years passed, and one day, a strong wind blew up, and a drop of clear dew was blown to the feet of the snake. The snake was overjoyed, and it looked at the dew and showed its love.Suddenly, another gust of wind blew away the nectar, and the snake felt very sad and very sad.At this moment, the Buddha came again. He looked at the snake and said, "It's still the same question, do you know the answer?"

The Buddha said helplessly: "In this case, you should go to the world for a while."

The snake was reincarnated into a powerful family, named Yao'er, and became a 17-year-old beautiful girl.One day, the emperor held a banquet for the new champion Ganlu, and the powerful ministers also brought their families to attend.Yaoer followed her father into the palace, and at the banquet, Yaoer fell in love with Ganlu at first sight. She was full of confidence and believed that the Buddha would obey her heart.Unexpectedly, a few days later, the emperor issued an edict, and two days later, the new champion Ganlu married Princess Changfeng, while Yaoer betrothed to the prince to hold the grass.

Yao'er was so heartbroken that she couldn't afford to get sick, so she began to complain about Buddha.When she was dying, the Buddha came to Yaoer and said, "Now do you know the answer to the question? Have you ever thought that the nectar is brought by the wind and will be taken away by the wind in the end, but holding the grass is The little grass guarding you in front of Yuanyin Temple has guarded you for more than 3000 years, but you have never seen him. The most precious thing in life is not what you can’t get or what you have lost, but to cherish what is in front of you.”

The same is true in the world, love is rare and precious, but the most cherished thing is not the daily "I love you", but the silent protection.Don't complain that he always doesn't say "I love you" to you. People who really love don't need these three words, because love is not based on a mouth, but on the heart between each other.If you get what you want, he will still give you the happiness you want, even if there is no such thing as a so-called pledge of eternal love, never giving up.On the contrary, those who talk about love all day long can't do anything in the end.

Zhang Ailing once said a very touching sentence: "Oh, you are here too!" As long as the feeling is right, the feeling that love brings to both parties can be described in such a simple sentence.In love, no matter what we have experienced, how many times we have been hurt, how many times we have fallen, and how many times we have been disappointed, when we stand in front of the person we love, we can still keep the innocence in our hearts. At least there is such a person , Let you always believe in the beauty of innocence, then, even if you want to shed tears for him, you are happy.

Zhang Xiaoxian also said: "Don't we all have a friend like this? He loves someone who only he thinks is good. Others can't understand what is so good about that person. Is he blind? However, When we laugh at others, will someone also laugh at us? Isn’t all the soft spot with a bit of obsession? Does love have been blinded from the beginning, and then it’s gone until the old flower? regret."

In fact, "I love you" in fantasy is like a rose, no matter what color or flower language it is, it is always worthy of your fascination and madness, but it may not be the case in reality.When you feel so tired that your whole body is going to collapse, will you still have the strength to be moved when you hear a meaningless "I love you"?

Love is originally a cautious topic, but now there are too many people who cannot understand its meaning, and there are too many people who can talk about it but are unwilling to protect it.We should all believe in love and let this happiness of life take root deeply in our hearts.

[-]. The more you hate, the more you are bound, the more you love, the more you are free
Love and hate are a pair of antonyms, and they often appear together at the same time, like two opposites.Are you always thinking about a question when you are in love: what is love?Why does the love that happens to you always make your heart hurt and worry you?Yes, that is love.So what is hate?Some people say that love is the previous life of hate, and when love becomes crazy and extreme, it turns into hate.Love, which is considered to be one of the most precious and beautiful things in human life, is interpreted differently by different people every day.Sometimes, love more; sometimes, hate more.But it is precisely because of this that love is obsessed.

Maybe you've figured it out, the more people you don't want to run into, the more often you run into them, making the world feel so small.When we meet the person who is destined to meet you in this life, I hope it is because of love rather than hate.

There is no shortage of such love scenes in TV: the hero and heroine are very affectionate at first, when the hero meets the second female lead, he falls in love with her at first sight. The hero believes that this is the love he wants, so he tells the heroine Offered a breakup.Although the heroine tried desperately to keep her, the hero was indifferent. Therefore, the heroine was unwilling to lose her love like this, and gradually turned from love to hatred. Out of control, she decided to take revenge, even at the expense of her own life, even the life of a completely innocent person, to avenge the hero's unfeelingness. When she decided to give up all of this and live her life well, she felt extremely relaxed.

(End of this chapter)