Don't be too personal, don't be too impersonal

Chapter 21 Love is bread, not the spice of life (3)
Love makes people breathe freely; hate makes people unable to breathe.Eileen Chang always writes suffocating love, in her writing, every love ending is always the end of the song.For the woman in the story, love is a suffocating thing, she is willing to wait for a man forever, even if she is the only one in this world, even if people in this world ignore her existence, but She is still willing to wait, even though she knows there is no ending.Can you say that she has no resentment or hatred?In fact, there are. Eileen Chang puts all the resentment and hatred in every wordless story, such as "Poisoning", which is definitely very depressing to read. In this novel, there is a sentence: all love There is humbleness in it, but the weight is different!Because falling in love with someone, caring about someone, there is a compromise, and a compromise naturally feels humble.In an equal emotional relationship, this kind of humility is mutual, and it is the effort and dedication of both men and women to a relationship.When Gu Manzhen and Shen Shijun reunited, the first sentence they said was "the fate is still there, but the love is no longer", which is enough to cover the vicissitudes of the world.This is Zhang Ailing, a woman who has been trapped in love all her life.A word, a few words, is enough to make people feel the untold hardships in the world, enough to make people heartbroken but still unable to express the inner pain.

Someone always asks tirelessly: Can you tell me what love is?In fact, after you figure it out, you will definitely ask what hatred is.Therefore, love does not last forever, and hate does not dissipate with the wind.Sometimes, it is because I have loved that I know compassion; and because I know, I choose to be tolerant.When you feel that your love has been betrayed, do you still ask if it's worth it?In fact, whether it is worth it or not, after the situation has passed, you will finally understand that true love is not asking whether it is worth it or not.Just let go when it's time to let go, and fight for what you should fight for.

There is another very apt metaphor for the relationship between love and hate: love is the hand, love is the palm, and hate is the back of the hand.Few people can really understand this sentence. In fact, whether it is the palm or the back of the hand, it is the flesh of the hand after all.Either side hurts.Just like love, it may be love or hate, but none of them can escape the curse of "love".In fact, not only on TV, but also in our lives, there will always be these people who become crazy, extreme, unreasonable, and hysterical because of love or hate. They always desperately want Imprison a certain thing, but the more you try to hide it airtight, the faster you find that you lose it, the more you want to take advantage of even the slightest gap to slip away what you want to grasp.Of course, no one can know which part of the world and which moment is waiting for us to meet or separate, but if you believe in destiny, don't hope that you can reverse it. Whether it is love or hate, painful love, or painful hate, it is not acceptable. If it is not suitable, it is better to let go.Happiness should be possessed easily so that it will have a taste. Hate is the bondage of both parties, but love can give people the greatest freedom.So, from now on, let yourself love others well, and let others get their own happiness well.

[-]. Facing boring love
There is a kind of love that can stand the vicissitudes of time and the test of the world, but there are many other loves that are only persisted in the torrent of time, and have gradually lost their original vitality and passion in the tempering of the years.Some people say that love is like a butterfly, when it comes, it will dance in your heart.However, love goes by slowly over time, and more people feel that it has become a glass of cold boiled water, or a dull bread.

However, we need to know that love needs to be managed. We cannot ask love to develop in the direction we want completely according to our own personality and preferences. Harmonious commonality, but also let yourself have a little personality, so that love is like flowing water, always clean and beautiful.

Love must have a period of fatigue, maybe after a few months of falling in love, maybe a year, maybe two years, or maybe it is the "seven-year itch" that people often say, we don't like love that is as boring as plain water, We hope to keep the freshness of love, so we leave blindly, start again blindly, and start again and again; or, although we are bored, we cannot leave due to responsibilities and obligations, and slowly wear away this weakened love.No matter what the situation is, we should actually calm down in a timely manner and consider clearly the direction of our future life.

There is such a couple, the boy's father and the girl's father met when they were soldiers. Later, they left the army and went to the same city to develop, and both got married.The two agreed that if they had a boy and a girl, they would be married in the future.Later, the two families gave birth to a boy and a girl. The boy was handsome and the girl was beautiful.The two have played together since childhood. When the girl was bullied, the boy fought for her. When the boy made a mistake and was punished, the girl accompanied the boy and was punished. The parents of the two families were also very happy.

Later, the boy and the girl went to the same city and were admitted to the same school. The parents of the two families were even more happy. They thought the marriage should be settled like this.

After graduation, both of them stayed in that city to develop, going to and from get off work every day, and living an ordinary life.The two have never quarreled, the girl can guess what the boy wants to say, and the boy can guess what the girl wants to say, there is no sense of mystery or novelty between the two of them.Once, the boy couldn't help but asked: "Do you think life is boring? Do you think we are like a husband and wife after decades, and have become boring?"

The boy thought the girl would be angry, that they would have a big fight.However, the girl just took two glasses, one full of water and one full of Coke.She put them in front of the boy and asked: "If you just finished exercising and you were very thirsty, which one would you choose?" The boy said: "Do you need to ask? Of course it is Coke." The girl picked up the Coke and poured it out , the boy looked at the girl in surprise and said, "What are you doing?" The girl looked at the boy and asked, "And now?" The boy said angrily, "What are you doing?" He smiled and said: "I know that when you are very hot and tired, what you need is a cold Coke, but in the end you find that the more you drink Coke, the thirstier you will be, and you may not always be able to buy Coke. Although plain boiled water makes you feel dull, it can be found whenever you need it, and the important thing is that plain boiled water is actually the most thirst-quenching." The boy fell silent after hearing this.The girl continued: "If you still think Coke is good now, go try it, as long as you remember that plain water will never leave you."

The boy looked at the girl a little ashamedly and said, "I'm sorry."

In fact, after the fresh period of love, it will become dull.Don't feel that the other party doesn't care about you just because you are plain. Sometimes care is just a few simple words, a casual look in your eyes. Maybe you feel monotonous, but it is a deep-rooted longing and dependence that is easily overlooked. .

There is also such a story, the boy has liked the girl for a long time, and finally one day the boy mustered up the courage to confess to the girl, and the girl felt a little caught off guard by the sudden confession.The girl thought for a while and said: "This is too sudden, give me some time to think about it." The boy looked at the girl and said seriously: "Promise me, no matter what your final decision is, don't refuse my offer to you." Good." The girl was very moved when she heard that, and after serious consideration that night, she agreed to the boy.

The two went to a city after graduation. The boy worked hard for his career, but he forgot that what the girl needs is his company.He often travels for business, and he goes there for two months, and he is still busy with his work when he comes back.Later, the girl was pursued by other boys in the company, but because of the boy's relationship, the girl rejected them one by one.However, she always felt aggrieved when she came home and saw the empty house every day.The girl knows that the boy wants to make money and give her a stable life, but in fact, all the girl really wants is his company and love.Finally, the girl couldn't help but sent a text message to the boy: "I understand what you are doing now, and I know what you want. But, you make me feel lonely, and our love is like an empty shell. You Said it will always be good to me, but, I'm tired of the empty, boring life now, let's break up."

People always say that after the seven-year itch you can turn white.Let's not just throw away when love is in a period of fatigue, you must know that every love will go through this period.The love that is dry and rocky is a kind of persistence, but also a kind of wisdom. Don't give up your previous love easily, lest you will regret it when you look back.

(End of this chapter)