Don't be too personal, don't be too impersonal

Chapter 23 Life can also cultivate temperament (1)
[-]. Apart from home, there is no second safe haven

Young people always have strong self-esteem. Even if they are injured and encounter setbacks, they always bear it silently, because they don't want anyone to see their vulnerable side.Do you also often think that you are already an adult, and being strong is your own personality.Even if you go home clutching your chest, you still put on a smile as soon as you walk in the door.But we say that pretending to be strong is unacceptable, and when you can let go of this personality, you should let go.Of course, in our hearts, home is a warm place, a safe haven we can hide in at any time, and a place where people will not be afraid.But you have worn that seemingly strong mask for too long, because of self-esteem, so you always pretend to be strong, and you are used to being strong.Even when you go home, you don't have the courage to take off the multiple masks you have to deal with the outside world.You have thought about it and know that you should face your family members with your most natural face, being natural and relaxed is the most real, but why do you still care so much about that so-called face mask?
Perhaps, every time you go home during the Chinese New Year, you will have all kinds of annoying things. For example, you have graduated and started working. Of course, you have to buy something to honor your parents when you go home. This is what our parents taught us since childhood.However, since you have just graduated, your salary is very low, and it is already very good to be able to support yourself, but it is very difficult to buy gifts.In fact, you don’t need to worry about these at all. Parents understand their children. They don’t care if they buy or not. What they care about is how well you live after you leave them alone. "Dad" and "Mom" are already their biggest wish.Remember, home is an eternal safe haven. It does not ask for anything in return, but seeks peace and happiness. Go home often, go back to sleep when you are tired, and go back for a meal when you are hungry.Because, that is your forever home, even if you are married and have children, or married as a married woman, there are still parents and family members who love you endlessly.

When you struggle outside for a long time but fail, when your career suffers setbacks and falls from the peak to the bottom, you might as well go home and have a look, because there are always people who care about you at home.Don't be ashamed to go home because you haven't made a name for yourself outside, it will only make your family more worried.Maybe when you get home, you will find that your family is your biggest motivation. Apart from your family, what else is there to fight for?So, no matter where you are, no matter how much grievance and setback you have suffered, you must take time to go home regularly or irregularly, and at least call home to let your family know that you are safe, because in the eyes of your family, Only your safety is the most important.When most people care about whether you fly high or not, they may be one of the few people who only care about whether you are tired or not.

After graduating from university, Liu Zhiping opened a trading company with his classmates. The business has been very good. He also pays attention to keeping in touch with his family, and often calls his parents to report his safety.

However, after an economic crisis, he has nothing left.The company had no business, couldn't turn over funds, and ended up in bankruptcy.He and a few classmates of his partner got very drunk and fell asleep when they returned to their residence.After waking up, he looked at everything around him, thinking that he had already been working in the company at this time, but now there was nothing left, and felt extremely depressed.He thought of his parents, of his own home.But looking at the mobile phone on the table, picking it up and putting it down several times, should I call to report it is safe?How can you call yourself safe now?Parents will be worried if they find out.Thinking of this, he put the phone back, fell down and fell asleep again.

In this way, Liu Zhiping did not call home for two consecutive weeks, and he did not dare to answer the phone when it rang several times.Seeing that the rent was coming soon and the money was spent, the classmates silently packed up their things and cried a lot, and parted ways.Walking on the busy street, Liu Zhiping didn't know where to go.At this moment, the phone rang. After hesitating for a while, he still answered the phone. It was his father who called: "Hello, Ping'er, why haven't you answered the phone these days? Your mother and I are worried about you. Come back, we know everything, let's go home!" Hearing his father's calm voice, Liu Zhiping burst into tears instantly.

When they arrived at home, it was as if nothing had happened to his father and mother. His mother cooked him a bowl of his favorite noodles.Sitting with his parents after dinner, his mother looked at him lovingly and said, "Ping'er, isn't it just bankrupt? Don't worry, let's start again." Liu Zhiping nodded holding back tears.

Half a year later, Liu Zhiping got in touch with a few old classmates, and after several discussions, they reopened a logistics company.

Therefore, home is our eternal safe haven. No matter how difficult it is, don't forget to go home and have a look. Even if you go home and sleep for a few days, your family will always give you unconditional love and understanding.At home, even if you don't say a word, love is overflowing in your heart; even if you don't do a thing, love is around you.Go home often, no matter where you go, home is always a harbor. When our hearts are tired, home will provide us with a place where we can have a good rest.

For those who are traveling abroad, home can not only help you find passion in your career, but sometimes it can also help you solve your troubles in love. After all, your parents have been there, and their views on things are more mature.As the saying goes, an old family is better than a treasure, and it is better to listen to the opinions of your parents when it comes to relationship problems.

Four years ago, Li Xin and Lingyu both found jobs after graduating from university.Two years later, the two got married. At the same time, Li Xin decided to use the money earned from his two-year work to help Lingyu open a clothing store. Lingyu was very happy.

However, as the clothing business is getting better and better, Lingyu goes home later and later every day, and Li Xin is also promoted to the deputy manager soon because of his outstanding work.After being promoted, he was very happy and wanted to find Lingyu to celebrate, but Lingyu always said that he didn't have time.After a long time, Li Xin was very annoyed.One night, they quarreled because of this incident. Lingyu cried a lot and said that she wanted a divorce. Annoyed, Li Xin said casually, "Leave and leave."

Afterwards, Li Xin regretted it, but he didn't think of any good solution. He was very depressed, and he didn't go to work anymore, and spent all day drinking to relieve his worries.His father found out about this, and his father called him and Lingyu, saying that the family hadn't had dinner together for a long time, and asked them to go home.After the two arrived home, the father didn't say anything, and let them go to rest after eating. After everything was settled, the father walked into the house and said: "The family has something unclear, why are you getting divorced? Say it." Then he went out.Lingyu cried in the middle of the night, Li Xin coaxed her, and then the two confided their thoughts to each other and reached an understanding.

The next day, seeing the two people who were sweeter than before, the father also had a happy smile on his face, which shows how important an understanding from the family is.Family is always there for us when we need it most, so don't forget that we still have a home whenever we need it.

When you are struggling alone, you may feel lonely, tired, and wronged many times. At this time, you will often think of the pictures you used to be with your family, and the common problems of your parents on weekdays. There is a warm current; when you are really tired, all the past cares will become your source of strength, turning you from sadness to strength.Therefore, always calm down and appreciate what you have gained in these years. When you left home with nothing, you may return home empty-handed now, but do you really still have nothing?Think about it carefully, maybe what you have now is far from being measured by money!

If you are a man, you may be born with various responsibilities, but don’t complain. First of all, please believe that you are happy because you have a family.Home is your ultimate safe haven, your most loyal nanny, sheltering you from the wind and rain, escaping the heat and cold for you, and of course there is her who is more important at home, for you, even if you are tired after get off work, she will still be there for you Make delicious meals.Everything is for you in this "family", maybe you sometimes complain, complain about the pressure that life brings to you, you may also hate the unfairness of the world, and there are so many troubles at work, but I still want to say you is happy.Why?Because the parents in the family love you, they are willing to give everything for you, and they never complain. Anxious and sometimes happy; when you are down, there will always be their company by your side. Although they don’t say a word, I believe they will understand your inner confusion; when you are happy, you can always find the smile on their faces Brighter than your own.

So, don't forget about your own home.Struggling in society, it is inevitable that you will encounter hurdles that you cannot overcome for a while. At this time, think about home, go home and have a look, and you will gain a lot.At home, leave all your troubles behind, let the tolerance of the family help you dispel all dissatisfaction and distress, then pack up your mood and start again.

Home, looks simple, but accommodates every bit of us from childhood to adulthood.From the moment I came to this world, I entered the embrace of my family and grew up under the love of my family, from feeling love to learning love.When you are angry, there are family members who comfort you; when you are distressed, there are family members who enlighten you.Home, such a simple word, contains our countless good memories and shelters our lives from wind and rain.When we leave home, every bit of us is still cared about by our family, and everything about us is still closely related to it.So, no matter how far you go, don't forget to go home and have a look.Because of the home and the deep concern it brings to us, our lives will not wither because of being rootless; it is also because of the home and the deep concern we have for it that this kind of feedback makes us life shines brightly.

We have to fight for our home and love our home even more. No matter where we are or where we go, home is always a safe haven.Only it makes us feel safe, dependable, and home, which makes our life more perfect.

[-]. You can be frugal but not stingy
Have you just graduated from university and just stepped into the society to work?Have you found that with your current salary level, after deducting the expenses of water, electricity, rent, Internet access, buying clothes, etc. every month, the rest is still not enough to maintain your basic life?Is it true that all your friends are getting married, but you are still single?You may have thought about this too, but just having a girlfriend means a lot of money.You no longer pursue famous brands like you did in school, you become frugal, and you feel overwhelmed even if your friends occasionally come over for drinks and play cards.You don't know you're already so frugal, and there are occasions when being frugal means being stingy.If things go on like this, once your reputation of stinginess spreads among your circle of friends, it will become a big obstacle when you interact with friends.

Some young people may think that spending money unscrupulously, entertaining guests, and attracting people around them is a kind of personality, so that they can attract others to associate with them. People feel superficial and don't know how to live, and they don't make people feel stingy and difficult to get along with.

For us who are in need of friends, connections, and careers, excessive frugality may seriously affect our careers and friendships. Therefore, choosing frugality or choosing to expand consumption has become a contradiction in itself.But, first of all, we need to understand that frugality does not mean being stingy or not consuming.It is very important to deal with the relationship between frugality and stinginess. If you are too frugal, you will become stingy, and if you consume too much, you will make your life impossible.Frugality is good and should be encouraged, while stinginess is bad and needs to be discarded.

Zhao Jie is a very ordinary college graduate. He has just been working for less than half a year. However, in the past six months, he has been troubled by the consumption problem with his friends.After all, I just started working, and no one’s salary is high. When I was in school, my family deposited money in the bank card every month. Although I often went out to eat and drink with friends, and went to KTV or dance halls from time to time, I didn’t feel that What a waste of money.

During the period when the salary was first paid, Zhao Jie was very excited and felt that he had finally made money. He called his old classmates to go out for a dinner together. They all called him interesting.After a month, not only did he not have a penny left on his salary card, but he also asked his family for hundreds of dollars.Even so, Zhao Jie still didn't pay much attention to it, but after a few months, Zhao Jie began to realize that he should be frugal. When he needed to spend money, he would no longer be extravagant, and he would try not to take money when his classmates had dinner together.No one said anything at first, but after a few days, people complained that he was too stingy and an iron cock. It made Zhao Jie feel very distressed.

In fact, each of us has encountered such a situation. We cannot grasp our consumption habits well, which leads to a gap between friends due to money, and is caught between life and friendship.In this regard, we don't need to worry too much, as long as we plan our salary reasonably and correctly handle the relationship between thrift and stinginess.

In fact, the difference between thrift and miserliness lies in the amount of money spent.To spend money moderately while reducing expenses is frugality, and to be excessively frugal is miserliness.To a certain extent, saving money that does not affect the quality of life is thrifty, and saving money that affects the quality of life is stinginess.

Frugality is valuable, but it is more important to pay attention to the method, because the same thing happens to different people, it will produce different results.

Zhang Xiao, like Zhao Jie, is a college student who has just graduated to work. His monthly salary is only about 400 yuan. According to the normal consumption situation, if he does not go shopping with friends, [-] yuan may be enough. Barely maintaining a normal life, but it's clearly impossible.Therefore, Zhang Xiao made a record of his first month's expenses, and after careful thinking and consideration, he removed some unnecessary expenses.The cost of buying clothes is allocated to each month, and some necessary electrical appliances and daily necessities are replaced with quality-guaranteed but cheap ones without affecting normal life.He can cook and eat by himself without affecting his work. He even went to restaurants to learn cooking skills from chefs. [-] yuan.

When going out for dinner with friends, Zhang Xiao also knows very well that he doesn't have much money and can't spend it casually, so he tries to reduce consumption while paying his own share. Too many people pay attention.But this is not good for a long time, so his requirement for himself is: usually do not spend money, spend big if you want to spend, and spend resoundingly.Once four friends had dinner together, Zhang Xiao said that he treated guests, and the four of them ate 300 yuan, which was the most money spent in a month. Usually, a dinner party cost 100 yuan per person at most. Friends knew about it, although they didn’t He didn't say anything, but he said behind his back that he was meaningful and not stingy.

Zhang Xiao only invites this kind of dinner once a month, and only once in a few months.Zhang Xiao not only used his salary reasonably, but also gained a good reputation among his friends, all thanks to his good financial plan.

(End of this chapter)