Don't be too personal, don't be too impersonal

Chapter 5 Don't doubt, this is the world you see (1)
[-]. Be the fittest first, and then the strong

When we end our years of school career and start to step into the society, we may have a feeling: this is a strange and indifferent world.You may meet a bureaucratic but incompetent leader, you may meet colleagues who are struggling to argue endlessly for the sake of interests, or you may get into trouble because of other people's tricks.You feel that the people around you are so selfish and vulgar, fighting every day for your own selfish interests.And when you encounter difficulties and failures, people around you face you with indifference or sarcasm.At this time, your heart will start to struggle, and your personality will start to clamor. You don't want to violate your kind and simple nature, and you don't want to become like others. survive in this society.

In real life, if we want to achieve something in this society, we must first let ourselves be the fittest, polish and temper our personality, and make ourselves stronger before we can become the last strong.

You know, the world is just as you see it, maybe even more complicated than you imagined.Ji Xianlin, a famous master of Chinese studies, once mentioned in an article that the hot and cold world is common in all times and in all over the world, and it is a very common thing.During his 80 years of life, Mr. Ji Xianlin experienced twists and turns, mixed ups and downs, fell down and got up several times, and said that he had really tasted enough of the world and understood the mystery of the world.He was labeled as a counter-revolutionary during the ten-year catastrophe, and he experienced horrific torture. No one dared to lend a helping hand to him, or even say a word;But Mr. Ji Xianlin didn't take it seriously. He believed that any creature in the world seeks good luck and avoids bad luck.The state of the world is hot and cold, as it has been in ancient and modern times, and no one can escape it.

Sometimes, you may feel that other people are too selfish.Although we cannot be sure whether people are selfish by nature, we have to admit that most of the time in everyone's life is planning and running for themselves.This "self-interested" tendency in human nature can easily evolve into "selfishness" when encountering conflicts of interest.When faced with people's "selfish" behavior, don't complain, you should know that the reason why you are ignored by others is because you don't have enough strength to attract attention.This society is always full of competition. Others have no reason and no obligation to care for you and help you. Only when you have sufficient ability and learn to be responsible for yourself, can you get help from more people.

Sometimes, you may feel that others are too cold.When you treat others sincerely, you are deceived by others' hypocrisy.At this time, you will feel angry, and you will desperately curse the hypocrisy and ugliness of this world.Actually, if you think about it, it's not a big deal.Maybe it was just a friend from the past who said something bad about you behind your back, or maybe a colleague you trusted secretly tripped you up.In complex crowds, maybe we need friendship, friends, and the understanding of others, but this also means that you are still fragile, and you don't have the courage and strength to face your distress and pain independently.We do not deny the value of friendship and understanding, but everyone must learn to live peacefully in an environment where others do not understand.Only when one's spiritual world is wider and the thinking is more independent, can one take on the world with broader and stronger shoulders.

Society is like a melting pot, which grinds away the edges and corners of everyone and makes people tend to be smooth.As a newcomer to society, maybe your edges and corners are still there, but in any case, don't blame the society for being too indifferent and people for being too ruthless.Except for true friends, any charity and help are just extravagant hopes.And how many real friends can you have?Didn't the ancients often lament that "it's hard to find a confidant in life, but one confidant is enough".Things in the world are hard to come by. Now that you have understood the fickleness of the world and the warmth of human relationships, there is no need to be dissatisfied, angry, or secretly sad.Life is in your own hands.Although we are unable to change the status quo, we can always change our mentality, first bow to the society to adapt, and then strengthen ourselves to succeed.Maybe then, you will be able to appreciate the better side of society more than just seeing its indifference and selfishness.

In the real society, one should restrain one's edge, keep a low profile and deal with others' provocations calmly.When you see many social phenomena that you are not used to being openly popular, don't think about fighting them with blood, otherwise you will soon understand the feeling of hitting a wall.You know, society is never ideal.In the face of those unreasonable phenomena, we should indeed maintain a sense of justice in our hearts—this is a very precious quality in the hearts of every young person.However, changing the society cannot only rely on blood and passion, it requires a kind of ability and a kind of capital.

Every area of ​​society has its own rules, which may be different from what you know.If you ignore the existence of the rules, or try to break them on your own, even if you have extraordinary abilities and talents, you will only be hit and broken.If you want to survive in the harsh social struggle, you must first adapt to it, then master it, and finally be invincible.In Darwin's diary, such a story was recorded:
In the 19s, when Darwin traveled around the world, he saw a backward and ignorant primitive tribe in Africa.People in the tribe live in caves, never wear clothes, and drive the elderly into deep mountains and old forests, where they starve to death.Even small children are eaten when they have nothing to eat.Darwin was deeply shocked and determined to transform the tribe, so he spent a lot of money to buy a little boy in the tribe, determined to transform him into a "civilized man". After 30 years, the little boy has completed his transformation in modern society and has become a "civilized youth".Darwin sent the boy back to the tribe, wanting him to bring civilization back to his homeland.A year later, Darwin revisited the old place, only to find that the boy had been eaten by the tribesmen.The tribal leader told Darwin that the boy couldn't do anything, didn't understand anything, and it was useless to keep him.

Therefore, Darwin lamented in his diary: "A person's desire is not directly proportional to the result he hopes to obtain. The difficult problems left by a race cannot be solved by one or a few civilized people. From barbarism to civilization, This is a painful and long process. Everyone in society should adapt to the living environment around him, otherwise, no matter how clever he is, he may not escape the fate of being eliminated."

Now that you have stepped into the society, you will see that many people are used to these unreasonable phenomena, which is not surprising, because everyone is a person who earns a living to survive.What you need to do now is not to blindly oppose those phenomena you are not used to, but to fully accumulate your own strength.When you can rely on your own ability to make the society give you a qualification, when you are strong enough to fight against unfair and unreasonable phenomena, you can really do something to change the society.

After graduating from a Ph.D. in management, he has been running around looking for a job. However, the employer either dislikes his inexperience, or thinks that his education is too high to tolerate him.After thinking about it, he decided to put away all the certificates related to academic qualifications and apply for the job with a master's degree.Before long, he was hired by a company as an assistant to the department head.His friends thought he was too condescending, but he felt he had to in order to support his family.

He works very hard and has gradually been recognized by the company's leaders and colleagues.Later, the company leaders gradually discovered that his ability to deal with some problems was by no means comparable to that of ordinary master's graduates.Only then did he tell the leader his real academic qualifications.The leader believed that he was a practical, capable and witty person, and based on a comprehensive understanding of his ability and talent, he was appointed as the director of the human resources department.

If you want to change your life, you must first adapt to the environment of your life, and then start by changing yourself.Although many people know the importance of changing themselves, they have been unable to do so. Instead, they expect others or the environment to change to adapt to themselves.In fact, when we hope that others can make a change, the same hope is in the hearts of others.However, no matter what, you should understand that no one can change others, only yourself can be changed.

A British bishop wrote in his epitaph: When I was young, I was high-spirited and full of ambition. At that time, I dreamed of changing the world.But as I got older and experienced more, I found that I was powerless to change the world.So, I narrowed my sights a bit and decided to change my country first, but the goal was still too big.When I entered middle age, out of desperation, I locked the object of my attempt to change on my closest family members.But the sky failed, and they still maintained the original state.When I was dying, I finally realized: I should change myself first and influence my family by setting an example.If I can be a role model for my family first, maybe the next step will be to improve my country, and then, I may even change the whole world.

We don't have the power to control other people's thoughts and actions, but we can completely dominate our own lives.When we change our behavior, we do not blindly tolerate others or the environment, nor do we want to conform to other people's thoughts or accommodate others' behavior. We just hope that by changing our behavior, we can live a happier, happier life and be able to Make yourself more powerful.

Only by changing yourself and trying to adapt yourself to this society can you have the power to influence the surrounding environment.Only those who are willing and constantly change themselves to improve themselves have real persuasion and influence, and are qualified to be strong in society.

Two, you are nothing special
In fact, we all understand that as early as elementary school or even kindergarten, we already know that others will not tolerate your mistakes without reason. To some extent, you are not valued by others at all.In fact, you don’t have to be depressed, everyone is like this. Darwin liked animals when he was young and was regarded as “not interested in learning”. Churchill was also a little bastard who did all kinds of bad things when he was a child. No one will tolerate your mistakes for no reason. , the attitude of the crowd has taught you this since childhood.You may be questioning the indifference in this world: the most trusted friend in your heart broke with you because of a little mistake of your own; you may still be angry that your colleagues are so over the top and always bully yourself as a newcomer.

There is a good saying: "When everyone is born, he thinks that the world exists for himself and the earth revolves around himself, but when he realizes that he is wrong, he begins to grow up slowly." Pride, maverick, and self-esteem are the personalities that each of us is born with. However, in reality, when we really step into society, we must learn to grow up and realize that we are nothing special.

Regardless of whether human nature is evil or good, different people have different attitudes towards good and evil, but what is certain is that most people have jealousy and comparison.Therefore, we should not pay too much attention to our own failure and being unnoticed, but understand that even if you are famous, you cannot be known by the whole world. To those who don't care about your fame and success, you are a ordinary people.Be humble, put yourself in a lower position, be famous but not arrogant, only then can you be respected by others.

Qiao Yefang has graduated from university for ten years.When she first graduated, she searched for everything, hoping to prove her ability and get a good job by virtue of her prestigious school background and many certificates, but things were always not as expected. Despite her hard work, no company was willing to hire her.In desperation, she had no choice but to enter an unknown foreign company with a very low position. After years of struggle, as a woman, she finally went through hardships and climbed up to the position of vice president of the company step by step.

It is always good to be promoted, especially after being promoted to the vice president of the company, Qiao Yefang felt unprecedentedly confident, and always deliberately mentioned her position when talking with friends, which aroused envy from friends.

In the past, she used to refuse every year's class reunion because of her poor job, low income, and not being as good as her classmates. Now she attends almost every year. At most, they asked about her job position, and few people complimented her.

This year's party was attended by many students who came back from overseas. I haven't seen each other for many years. I don't know how everyone is doing. Of course, Qiao Yefang didn't want to give up this opportunity to show off herself, so she stood at the table in the middle of the party. Ask everyone to be quiet and say: "I have a suggestion. You have graduated for so many years and you don't know your current job situation. Now let's talk about your current positions one by one. I will come first, and I will now It's the vice president of the company, thank you. The next one." Qiao Yefang looked down proudly, but she suddenly found that everyone was looking at her with weird eyes, and she suddenly saw the eyes of the boy she had a crush on in college. A flash of disdain flashed, she felt a block in her heart, her face turned red, and she got off the table in embarrassment.

Being full of glory does not mean that everyone will pay attention to themselves, always show off a little bit of their achievements, and will eventually be disgusted by others.Don't take your achievements too seriously. You must know that there are many people around you who are more successful than you. The reason why they are unknown is because they are low-key.Rich people like Bill Gates are inseparable from the lives of ordinary people. Every celebrity has his own field of expertise. It is normal that countless scientists are not known to football stars. Famous people like Jordan and Tiger Woods are only for basketball Those who are fascinated by golf regard them as superstars and admirers, while those who know nothing about basketball and golf are just ordinary people.

Don't think that you are very important. Without you, the sun will still rise and set. Not being noticed is the most common thing.Don't envy the people who are under the spotlight. Oftentimes, being noticed is not necessarily a good thing. People who stand on the cusp of the storm will not only be regarded as heroes by everyone, but also become the object of attention of many villains and people with ulterior motives.Don't take yourself too seriously, you can do things in a down-to-earth way with an ordinary mind that is neither arrogant nor impetuous. To survive better in this complex society, the best way is to work hard, be humble, and put yourself in a lower position. The seat, to give others the opportunity to perform, to make others famous.

Don't expect others to help you. Know that when the fulcrum of the lever is in the middle, if you want to pry the other end, you must have enough weight on your side. If you want others to help you, you need to have the ability to let others help you qualifications.People you think are vulgar will not help you or accommodate you without seeing their benefits, and smart people will also not appoint you and tolerate your faults for no reason. What they value is your future development of.Even then, don't vent your troubles at will, that will only make your path narrower and narrower.So remember, you are nothing special.Be considerate of others when dealing with others, but don't expect others to think of you.

For those of you who have just stepped out of campus to work, you must not expect too low, set your ideals higher, don't be overjoyed because of a little success, don't be complacent, always remember to keep working hard, you are nothing special.

(End of this chapter)