Don't be too personal, don't be too impersonal

Chapter 6 Don't doubt, this is the world you see (2)
Liu Lei has just graduated from university and joined a company. Since he took part-time jobs on weekends during school, he also conducted in-depth investigations on the company's background and current situation before joining the job, so he entered the working state with ease as soon as he took office. , In less than a month, he has made some achievements in his work, so he feels that he has succeeded, and he is very happy when he goes to work, and he greets every colleague happily. After a long time, although his work is getting better and better, However, Liu Lei's name was not included in the number of promotions at the meeting at the end of the year, which made him very uncomfortable.

It turned out that Liu Lei was working smoothly, but his flamboyant personality caused dissatisfaction among his colleagues.Everyone discussed in private: "Isn't it just a small achievement, what's so great." When the company conducted an internal investigation at the end of the year, the department head learned that many people were dissatisfied with Liu Lei, so he didn't give him the chance to be promoted.

You know, the heights are too cold, never think that you have been recognized by others, be a low-key person, you are nothing special.

[-]. How to give and how to receive
"The Four Lessons of Liao Fan" says: Those who are "willing to give up" have nothing to give up and nothing to gain, which is called "willing to give up".Giving up is compassion for others and diligence for oneself.You know, a gift of roses has a lingering fragrance in the hand, and a thought of kindness will bring boundless blessings.Remember, how you give, you get.Just as the Buddhists believe: giving up is gaining, and gaining is giving up.You have never forgotten these, but you have never delved into the deep meaning of them.

When we are young and frivolous, we may take "obtaining from others" as a matter of course, such as obtaining sincere friendship from friends, the most sincere love from parents, and all kinds of love from teachers. Knowledge, thinking that "being able to have it easily" is where my charm lies, and it is also where my personality lies.However, when we grow up slowly, we will understand that the real personality is not "getting", but knowing how to "give".

In other words, the meaning of life lies in giving, in giving happiness to others, rather than just fighting for yourself or even taking it from others.Really smart people know how to give. Giving can make others happy and satisfy their own hearts.Similarly, in interpersonal communication, giving can make you get unexpected gains. Friends strengthen their relationship through continuous giving to each other. When you give more to others than you ask for, you two Your friendship will be more lasting and solid.Instead, you may just be casual acquaintances.Whether it is giving money or giving emotion, you will gain the respect of others. Only those who are respected by others will be recognized by everyone, and only by giving can you get something.Businessmen all know a good way to close the relationship and negotiate a deal. That is emotional attack, also called side attack. The side attack emphasizes seizing the opportunity and giving decisively to get what you want.

After graduating from university, Li Jing worked as a salesman in a building materials sales company. Salesman is a very hard job, and sometimes the effort is far out of proportion to the harvest.The first opportunity that Li Jing got was to sell the company's products to a construction company in Guangdong. After collecting information from various sources, Li Jing learned that Mr. Lu, the general manager of the construction company, was in his 30s and usually had a bad temper. , Resolute and decisive, after several considerations, Li Jing went to this company.

When Mr. Lu understood Li Jing's reasons, he immediately rejected her, and stated that his project had been chased and intercepted by many construction company salesmen before it started, which seriously affected his work. He impatiently asked Li Jing to "leave" .Li Jing had no choice but to return home angrily after leaving her contact information.

Li Jing was unwilling to give up her first chance. After careful information collection again, she learned that General Manager Lu's mother was in Suzhou and had been in poor health. Because of the busy work, I have no time to take care of my mother.In view of General Manager Lu's bad temper and attitude towards salesmen, Li Jing thinks that he will not sign a contract with a certain company in the near future. She majored in nursing at university, so she went to Suzhou Hospital and lied that she was As a friend of General Manager Lu, he is responsible for taking care of the elderly's life.

After nearly a month of care, the old man gradually fell in love with this little girl.Soon, General Manager Lu came to visit her mother, and the old man, who didn't know about it, naturally praised her full of praise.General Manager Lu couldn't help being stunned for a moment when he saw Li Jing. Li Jing briefly introduced herself again, and General Manager Lu was naturally very grateful to her.After a period of time, Li Jing found the right time and tactfully brought up the list to General Manager Lu again. General Manager Lu agreed to her without saying a word. The construction company of Li Jing has also become a long-term major customer of Li Jing.

The frontal contact was kicked out of the office, but the side attack had a miraculous effect. Li Jing was able to succeed in one fell swoop, not only because Li Jing knew how to use the tool of relationship, but more importantly, she aimed at the target, paid attention to all activities of the investigation target, and took a good look at it. "Give" every opportunity, let the other party "receive what they deserve" first, and then form a business.What you give, you will reap.Harvesting without giving is rare, and the probability is almost equal to pie in the sky.Similarly, if you receive a gift without a purpose, the next moment is your time to give. You must know that the saying "there is no free lunch" is true.

The "balance of payments" often used in political economy is also a truth in the emotional relationship between people.The premise of stable economic development is the balance of fiscal revenue and expenditure, and the same relationship must ensure a basic balance between gains and expenditures if it wants to develop healthily and steadily.Never long for the adventure of a pie in the sky, even if there is a pie, it is thrown by someone to attract you.Only by giving can there be harvest, but sometimes what you get is money and business, and sometimes what you get is respect or love.Always have a heart of giving, unintentional giving may also yield unexpected gains.

A pigeon was drinking water by a clear stream, and saw an ant accidentally stepped on the air and fell into the water.For the ant, the creek is also a vast ocean. It struggled desperately in the water and wanted to climb to the shore but failed. Seeing this, the pigeon kindly took a piece of grass and threw it into the water. The ant was saved by climbing onto this "oasis". up.

Meanwhile, a barefoot hunter passed by the stream.As soon as he saw the pigeon, he couldn't help thinking that he had a good meal.When he aimed at the pigeon with his bow and arrow, the ant quickly bit his heel hard. When the hunter was distracted from looking at his feet, the pigeon sensed the danger and flew away with fluttering wings. Soaked in soup.

Keep a kind heart and be willing to give love to others.Don't give for the sake of harvest, but with a loving heart, believe that you are giving for happiness, and only when you give happily will you have the happiness of harvest. Giving with good intentions will often give you unexpected help at critical moments.

Li Yangli is a preschool teacher and spends every day with children.She happily teaches children to read and play games every day, and often visits students' homes. Parents praise her as a rare good teacher.

In fact, Li Yangli was not like this in the past. When she was in college, she was not talkative and rarely interacted with other people. Compared with other lively girls, she was a bit withdrawn, but her life was very peaceful, and she had parents who loved her and loved her. She felt very happy.However, a bad news changed her completely. Her parents both died in a sudden car accident. Li Yangli became an orphan all of a sudden. She was lonely and cried every day, calling her parents' names in her dreams. , suffering from schizophrenia, there is no way, teachers and friends sent her to see a psychiatrist.

After more than a year of psychological treatment, Li Yangli's spirit has basically stabilized. However, after losing her parents, she has a serious lack of security and is afraid of contacting people.Under the guidance of a doctor, she went to a kindergarten to work as a kindergarten teacher. The innocent and lovely smiles of the children gave her a great infection, and her face that had been stagnant for a long time finally burst into a smile again.After long-term contact with the children, her personality has gradually become milder. She often reads some books and visits the parents of the students during the holidays. She has gained good popularity. She not only cured her illness, but also is happier than before Yes, with a smile as bright as the sun on his face every day.

If you lose happiness, then give happiness to others; if you don't get love and care, then give love and care to others.You may be very poor and you may be busy, but when you give, when love and care flow from your heart, to others or to yourself, you have a new joy.

[-]. Cultivate your "City Mansion"

You are very angry, you want to vent, you wholeheartedly go to help others, but you are ruthlessly calculated by others.Finally, you have learned what a "City Mansion" is. It has many pronouns: tricks, scheming, tricks, strategies, etc.However, regardless of whether these words are derogatory or commendatory, what is certain is that these are their unobtrusive formulas for dealing with people in the world.You think you are simple, natural, and real, while they are false, sinister, and mean.However, after being plotted, framed, and wronged again and again, you begin to admit that you can't do without the city.You can also see that in this noisy society, everyone talks about the city and the strategy. If you don't have a little bit of strategy, you don't know a little bit of the city, then you will be extremely difficult on your way to success, and you will even be unable to take a single step.

Maybe you think that "no city in the heart" and "pure ignorance" are a kind of personality and a manifestation of kindness. However, when we look at history, we will find that those who have really achieved great things are all "" The city is extremely deep", "there are hills and valleys in the chest", the real personality is "knowledge in everything" such as Wang Shouren, "deep strategy" such as Zhuge Liang, and "extreme city" such as Liu Bang.

The word Chengfu has developed into a kind of knowledge, the most famous is the "Thick Black Learning" invented by Mr. Li Zongwu, and Mr. Li Zongwu is called "the father of thick black learning".Mr. Li Zongwu compared his own theory with the three words "to conscience" in Ming Dynasty philosopher Wang Yangming's philosophy of mind in the book "Complete Works of Houheiology", saying that both he and Ming Dynasty philosopher Wang Yangming studied psychology. It's all philosophy.Mr. Li Zongwu said: "God was born with a face, and thick is in it, and a heart, and black is in it."

Mr. Li Zongwu used a piece of Thick Black Studies to outline the deep and dense city palaces of various generations of emperors fighting for hegemony in the thousands of years of Chinese civilization, emphasizing the importance of a person's city palace affecting his life and career.In this society where everything is about methods, if you don't talk about methods and work hard, you won't get results.Using some harmless small means is equivalent to taking a shortcut and gaining a lot on the road to success.Of course, the so-called "city mansion" and "thick black" do not refer to the methods of harming and deceiving others, but to pursue all effective and powerful methods to better maintain the relationship with friends and partners, increase negotiations or business The possibility of success, faster and more profitable to promote success.

A truly honest man does not exist in an active social environment. The power of an "honest man" lies in the fact that he uses timely and appropriate scheming on appropriate matters, and does so without anyone noticing. This kind of person is extremely well-off, and even if he uses tricks to facilitate things, he has gained a reputation of being "honest".Therefore, don't underestimate any seemingly honest person around you, perhaps, he is the object of your study.There is a clear difference between a person with a deep city government and a person without a city government. Similarly, the results obtained by using tactics in doing things are not comparable to those who do things in a "down-to-earth" manner.

Lu Lulu and Liu Miao graduated from the same university majoring in bioengineering. After graduation, they signed a contract with a biopharmaceutical company at the same time.The two originally expected to become managers in the company, but according to the company's employee training procedures, fresh graduates must work in the production workshop for one year before they can be transferred to other positions. According to colleagues in the company, the production workshop The work is not only tiring and difficult, but you have to stay with those microorganisms every day, and you have to constantly add and unload materials, and move the goods back and forth, which is really comparable to a porter.When the two heard this, they couldn't help but feel dejected, and at the same time they wanted to find a different way out.

It is naturally not easy to find a different way out, because that would mean changing the company's training procedures. The two of them pondered for a long time, thinking that if they want to leapfrog promotion, they must let the leaders know themselves and their abilities.After some careful consideration, Lu Lulu fixed her eyes on Section Chief Wang of the company's research department. The research department is responsible for researching the company's new drugs and drug pharmacology. It is a brain-intensive job, which is in line with her work aspirations and profession.After new employees entered the company after a month of induction training, the chairman invited them to dinner, welcomed the freshly registered college students, and encouraged everyone to work hard for the upcoming work. The heads of various departments of the company also came.Lu Lulu saw the opportunity and sat next to Section Chief Wang whom she was optimistic about.After more than two hours of dinner, Lu Lulu managed to make Section Chief Wang remember her name.

The next day, someone told her that Section Chief Wang invited her to the office, and she went there nervously.Section Chief Wang asked about Lu Lulu's situation in school and some of her professional achievements. Lu Lulu explained that she had excellent professional achievements and also said that she had obtained professional certificates.Section Chief Wang said: "Xiao Lu, you are very good, and your professional achievements are also good. Director Liu's assistant in the laboratory just left, so you can go to work with him tomorrow." Lu Lulu couldn't believe her ears, The research director's assistant, I have never been a professor's assistant in school.Section Chief Wang said: "Seize the opportunity well, I believe you can do it."

Liu Miao also resorted to the same method, looking for Manager Xu, the manager of the sales department. Liu Miao loves sales, so she also focuses her work on sales. During the training period, she often goes to the sales department to ask Manager Xu some questions. In terms of the company's sales situation, I don't forget to express some of my own suggestions at the right time. Manager Xu appreciates her very much.

At the end of the training period, Manager Xu found her, chatted with her for a while, and then asked her, now that the company's sales department is short of talents and sales performance has declined, would she like to come to the sales department at this time to try, Liu Miao happily agreed .

That night, Lu Lulu and Liu Miao found a restaurant to celebrate their victory. They successfully used their "City Mansion" to remove a big obstacle for their work.

The workplace is like a battlefield, you can win with tactics, and you can get the opportunity to show your talents by surprise.If Lu Lulu and Liu Miao entered the work according to the company's normal promotion procedures, they might not be able to survive within a year and leave, but both of them worked hard and managed to make themselves skip the workshop Work is a necessary procedure, and I have found my ideal job position. In fact, their city is not too deep, and it is not even a city. It is just a little trick that is used at the right time and at the right time, and finally achieves my goal. .There's nothing wrong with using little tricks that don't hurt others to make things easier for yourself.Therefore, no matter whether it is work or dealing with people, you must have a certain degree of auspiciousness, and you will be safe if you are prepared. Opportunities are always reserved for smart and prepared people.

(End of this chapter)