Life is but a thought: Nan Huaijin's 15 Life Wisdom Lessons

Chapter 19 If you don't forgive others, you are suffering yourself (3)
And so Tony and Mr. Ingram came to a mile-long watermelon patch.At this moment, they were stunned by the sight in front of them!I saw that the melon field that was originally neat was in a mess at the moment, the melon seedlings were destroyed, the watermelons were all picked off, and there was still a truck with watermelons parked in the watermelon field.Obviously, someone wanted to steal these watermelons with a truck, but they didn't expect the truck to get stuck in the ground and couldn't pull them out.

Seeing this situation, Mr. Ingram didn't get angry, he looked very calm, just said: "The owner will be back soon." Then, let Tony watch there and gain some insight.

Tony wondered curiously: How would Mr. Ingram treat the person who came to steal?

While he was curious, he was also a little worried.What would Mr. Ingram do if the thieves were a gang?
It wasn't long before a guy notorious for fighting and stealing showed up with two heavyset men who looked very annoyed, maybe because of the truck's problems.

Seeing these people, Mr. Ingram did not question them in a rage, but said in a calm tone: "Hey, I think you want to buy some watermelons?"

The person who stole the watermelon obviously did not expect that the owner of the watermelon field would respond in this way.The other party was silent for a while, and said, "Well, yes. How do you sell watermelons?"

"25 cents each."

"Okay, help me get the car out, I think the price is not bad, I want a car of watermelons."

In this way, a deal was negotiated.

After they left, Mr. Ingram smiled and said to him: "Son, if you don't forgive your enemies, you will lose your friends." This sentence reminded Tony for a long time. philosophy.

In this way, Mr. Ingram let the thief who stole the watermelon become the buyer of the watermelon with a tolerant attitude, which is really a great art of handling things.The two sides were supposed to be at war, but they didn't expect to reach an agreement with just a few words and successfully completed a deal.

Just imagine, if Mr. Ingram exposes the truth of the other party's theft tit for tat, then the other party will definitely be angered and turn into a violent incident.It is possible that the people who came to steal will continue to steal even more in order to get revenge on Mr. Ingram...the consequences will be disastrous.It is the psychology of forgiving and forgiving that makes a disaster easily resolved.Young Tony will never forget Mr. Ingram's words, which not only taught him how to deal with bad people, but also taught others a good lesson in tolerance.

In life, we will always be like Mr. Ingram, because of the existence of others, damage our own interests or other things, such as, the clothes that are finally washed and dried are stained by others, and the opportunities we have finally won are ruined by others. Take away... At this time, we will get angry, rage, argue with others, and fight.As a result, it can only be a lose-lose situation.

At this time, we might as well be forgiving and forgiving.When others understand your painstaking efforts, they will feel guilty for their own mistakes, apologize to you, and then look for opportunities to win opportunities for you.If you really can't tolerate others, it means you can't tolerate yourself.

Being generous is a virtue as well as an art.A successful person must not only be broad-minded, but also leave room for others' self-esteem.If a person loses money, he can earn it back; once his self-esteem is hurt, it is not so easy to make up for it, and he may even make an enemy for himself.To master the art of "getting forgiven and forgiving" is to take care of others' self-esteem and avoid making enemies for yourself by hurting others' self-esteem.

In addition, you have to understand: to be forgiving and forgiving is not the same as being useless. It is not to blindly condone the other party's malicious behavior, but to respect the other party's self-esteem, which is a kind of intentional nobility.Knowing this, there is nothing to be angry about.

Not to be swayed by outside voices
When you face blows or bad words from others, don't be mad about it, and don't take it to heart. The first thing you have to do is to adjust your mentality and show your strong willpower and strength in actual actions. Self-control, this is a rational self-improvement.

Usually, if we encounter ridicule, insult, or slander from others, what we need to do is to ignore it, turn a blind eye to it, and ignore it.In this way, you will not be entangled in other people's words, let alone fall into the "trap" of others.If you really take other people's words seriously, then you can only be led by the nose and become angry and annoyed.

In "Zhouyi·Kun Gua", there is: "The terrain is Kun, and a gentleman carries things with virtue." Mr. Nan Huaijin explained this sentence in simple and clear words.He believes that one must understand that the symbol of the hexagram Kun is the representative of the earth, one must imitate the earth, cultivate one's own knowledge and morality, and imitate the depth of the earth, especially a leader must be tolerant, be able to bear, and be able to bear the pain of others stand up. "Practical virtue carries things" is the highest knowledge of Chinese culture.

There are old sayings of tolerance such as "Wideness helps the fierce, fierceness helps the wide, and the wide and the fierce help each other" and "The way to govern the country lies in the midst of fierceness and leniency". The ancients took this as the way to govern the country.Throughout the past and present, whoever achieved great success will be defeated by others' slander and ridicule?On the contrary, they will ignore it, not be swayed by outside voices, and work hard towards their goals.

In Japan, there was a samurai with strong martial arts. When he got old, the samurai began to teach Zen to young people wholeheartedly.Although he is old, his martial arts are still invincible.

One day, a young samurai known for his boldness came to visit.This young and vigorous warrior had never lost a battle, and because he had long admired the reputation of the old warrior, he came to challenge and wanted to improve his reputation.Regardless of the opposition of his disciples, the old warrior accepted the challenge.

As all samurai know, the young samurai was known for his defiant skills.He waits for the opponent to strike first, then uses his superior intelligence to assess the opponent's mistakes, and then counterattacks with lightning speed.

As soon as the tournament began, the young warriors began to insult the old warriors, and spent hours trying to provoke the old warriors.However, the old warrior was unmoved.Until the end, the young and energetic samurai was exhausted, and he still didn't find the old samurai's mistake.At this time, he felt humiliated again.

As you can imagine, the young samurai was defeated by himself.

Afterwards, the old warrior's disciples couldn't help asking: "That warrior is so over the top, how can the master bear it? How can you let people see your cowardly side on the battlefield?"

The old warrior smiled and asked his disciples: "If someone comes to see you with a gift and you don't accept it, who should the gift go to?"

"To the person who gave the gift." The disciples said in unison.

"The same goes for jealousy, anger, and insult," the old warrior said slowly. "If you refuse to accept these things, they will still belong to the other party."

The old samurai did not return the young samurai's insult, nor did he mind it.On the contrary, the old warrior regards this kind of reputation as a gift, and if he does not accept the gift, he will not take the insult to heart, let alone get entangled in it.

Through this story, we can know: like a young samurai, being unkind to others is the way to bring disaster, obsessed with slandering and insulting others, and will only make enemies everywhere, causing oneself to be in danger, and disaster may befall him at any time.

"The prime minister can pull a boat in his belly", don't give people the feeling of being easily blamed, this will only make you fight alone, and it is difficult to achieve success.We must strive to be a person who is not obsessed with reputation, put ourselves in a harmonious environment, and win good network resources for success.

When you face blows or bad words from others, don't be mad about it, and don't take it to heart. The first thing you have to do is to adjust your mentality and show your strong willpower and strength in actual actions. Self-control, this is a rational self-improvement.

In short, the only way to resolve all kinds of turmoil and quell gossip is to ignore it.Accusing slanderers will only bring insult to yourself, and it will only hurt you to retort at them.To achieve great things, one must overcome obstacles all the way, and it is possible to achieve "passing five passes and cutting six generals". In this process, I don't know how many storms and waves we will encounter. difficulty?
(End of this chapter)