Life is but a thought: Nan Huaijin's 15 Life Wisdom Lessons

Chapter 20
Only when you are right can you be right
There are many choices in life, but the choice of the soul has only two sides, one is good and the other is evil, whichever side you lean towards will dominate.Everyone knows that to be a man is to be a man before doing things, and to be a man before being a man.vice versa.

Confucius said: "If you can rectify your body, how can you be in politics? If you can't rectify your body, how can you be a righteous person?"

In this regard, Mr. Nan Huaijin agreed.He said that if a person is fair, it is of course good to go into politics, needless to say. "If you can't straighten your body, how can you be a righteous person?"If you cannot correct yourself, how can you correct others?
He also said: "It is rare to lose those who make appointments." "I am not without advice if I am self-reliant!" Mr. Nan Huaijin explained that "covenant" refers to restraint, restraint, caution, and prudence. You must always restrain yourself .A prudent person makes fewer mistakes; a dissolute person is prone to make mistakes;We should always self-discipline and self-management, so that we can reduce our mistakes and have a clear conscience.If a person does something that violates morality and faith, he must first accept punishment from the heart.

Once upon a time, a man planned to steal some wheat that was about to be harvested from a neighbor's wheat field.He thought in his heart: If he stole a family's wheat all at once, he would be noticed soon.But if you steal a little from each field, no one will notice, and there will be more wheat.

So, on a dark night, this man secretly left home with his young daughter.

"Son," he said to his daughter in a low voice, "you help daddy watch, if anyone comes, please call me." Then he slipped into the first wheat field and started harvesting.After a while, the daughter called softly: "Dad, someone saw you!" The man hurriedly looked around, but he didn't see anyone. He said angrily to his daughter: "Don't talk nonsense!" Then, he lowered his head and cut the wheat again.

"Dad, someone saw you!" the daughter whispered again.Terrified, the man stopped what he was doing and looked around.When he found nothing, he lowered his head and cut the wheat again.

Soon, he finished harvesting the wheat and came to the third wheat field.After a while, the daughter yelled, "Dad, someone saw you!"

He looked around again, but still saw no one, and continued to harvest with his head down.Finally, he tied up the cut wheat and slipped into the last field.

"Dad, someone saw you!" the daughter called again.He still stopped what he was doing and looked around.nobody!He was so angry!My daughter is really disobedient, what happened to her?
"There is no one, why do you always say that someone saw me?" He asked his daughter angrily.

"Daddy," the daughter whispered, "someone has seen you from the sky."

In fact, the "person" in "someone saw you from the sky" in her daughter's mouth is her own heart.There is another "I" in everyone's heart, paying attention to us all the time.No matter what you are doing, "I" is watching you.Whether others know it or not, "I" will still look at you.In real life, people who speak freely are more likely to break their promises; people who are prudent tend to make fewer mistakes and make fewer mistakes than people who are rash and rash.

We should use personal behavior and morality to self-discipline and self-management at all times.If you don't control well, if you are too demanding on yourself, you will fall into the situation of "I am mud, and there is no chance to be chic and lively", and it will be counterproductive.As Martin Luther said to his enemies in the city where he was condemned: "It is neither safe nor prudent to do anything against conscience. I stand my ground, God will help me, I can't make other choices." This shows the importance of self-discipline.When dealing with the world, we must always set up a filter for ourselves, and filter what we say and do in a timely manner, so that we will not say things that make us regret and do irreparable things.

In short, there are many choices in life, but there are only two sides to the choice of the soul, one is good and the other is evil. Whichever side you lean towards will dominate.Everyone knows that to be a man is to be a man before doing things, and to be a man before being a man.vice versa.

Don’t irritate, don’t overdo it

Although people emphasize not to make mistakes again and again, there are not many people who can really do it.Therefore, Mr. Nan Huaijin can only advise the world: "We should try our best to pay attention to 'not to blame, not to blame'."

"The Analects of Confucius Yong Ye" has: "Don't vent your anger, don't make mistakes." To the effect, don't vent your anger to others, and don't repeat your own mistakes.As for "no second pass", Mr. Nan Huaijin thinks it is also very difficult. "No two mistakes" means that if you make a mistake for the first time, you cannot make it again. "Never vent your anger" refers to integrity, and "not to blame" has been upgraded to a level of self-cultivation.

In ancient times, Confucius once praised that only Yan Hui could truly "never vent anger, never blame others", and even he himself could not always do it.Mr. Nan Huaijin even said that he would never be able to do it in his whole life, and he also said: "I am afraid that people nowadays will never be able to do it in their whole life without venting their anger."

Don't have the negative concept of "Confucius and Nan Huaijin didn't do it, why should I do it?" This is wrong!It is precisely because others cannot do it that we should do it and do it better.Moreover, "Don't vent your anger, don't blame" does have a profound meaning, it affects you for a while in a small way, and affects your life in a big way.

In psychology, there is a well-known effect called "kicking the cat effect", which refers to the chain reaction brought about by "relieving anger".

A is the director of the marketing department of a company.One day, A was in a bad mood because of a traffic jam at work, and was fined by the police. When he came to the company, he looked sad and angry.

At this time, A's subordinate B came to report to A because of work problems, so B naturally became the object of A's emotional venting. B was inexplicably criticized by his boss, and his mood was immediately ruined.All day long, he was very uncomfortable.

When B comes home from get off work at night, B's son C proudly shows his father the picture he drew in the kindergarten, hoping to get his father's praise. B was already very irritable, but seeing his son laughing and laughing, he felt even more uncomfortable.Then, B took advantage of the topic, saying why his grades could not keep up with it, and saying that painting is not doing his job properly, so he might as well read more books if he has the time... After a few minutes, the originally proud little C immediately became unhappy, and he felt very unhappy. Wronged, I was waiting for my father's praise, but I didn't expect to provoke a criticism.

Little C quietly pushed open the door of the house, wanting to go out to relax.As soon as he went out, his kitten followed him.At this time, Little C kicked the cat hard...

Everyone in the story has the heart of venting their anger, and they keep letting the "angering out" continue... The supervisor took advantage of the topic to say B, and B was dissatisfied and went home to vent a lot of anger at his son, who was criticized for no reason , kicked the kitten.

Where's the kitten?We don't know the result later, but we know that having a heart of venting anger will only bring endless troubles to life.

Think about it, obviously you got angry outside, so what does it have to do with your relatives?Why do relatives accept your grievances?If you find someone else to replace you because you can't vent your anger, what should the other person do?

In the end, it was the family members who suffered the most.Some family members don't care about you when they see you looking depressed, but it happens that the family members are also in a bad mood?Are the two going to have a big fight...

At this time, Mr. Nan Huaijin stroked his forehead and sighed, bluntly saying that venting anger is not a good thing at all.In his miscellaneous work "My God!Damn! "A story is told in the book to show the horror of venting anger.If the problem of venting anger is not handled properly, it may even be in danger of overthrowing the country and the city if it is put on top of state affairs.

Before the First World War, Bismarck, the famous Prussian prime minister, and King William I worked together to make Germany with Prussia as the center strong.You know, William I has always had a bad temper. Since he was always restrained by Bismarck, he would always vent his dissatisfaction when he returned to the harem.

Once, the queen asked him: "Are you angry with that old man Bismarck again?"

William I said angrily: "Yes!"

The queen said: "Why do you always have to be angry with him?"

William I said: "You don't understand. He is the prime minister. He is under one person and above ten thousand people. He will take the anger of many people below. Where can he get angry? He has to take it out on me! I am Where does the emperor's go? I have to throw the teacup!"

Unable to vent his anger, William I had to endure it.Under his forbearance, Germany became strong at that time.

Just imagine, if William I didn't bear it, but resisted because he couldn't understand the prime minister's behavior, what would happen?We don't know, but what is certain is that Germany will look different today, because the German monarch is a person who doesn't know how to accommodate and control his anger.

Although people emphasize not to make mistakes again and again, there are not many people who can really do it.Therefore, Mr. Nan Huaijin can only advise the world: "We should try our best to pay attention to 'not to blame, not to blame'."

What Mr. Nan Huaijin suggested is "as far as possible", not necessarily.Nowadays, people always talk about "The Analects of Confucius", and regard "don't vent your anger, don't blame yourself" as the principle of life and the goal of life.In fact, there are no absolutes in everything. We don't need to do something deliberately, but after things happen, we should try our best to restrain ourselves and try our best to make ourselves better.

Thinking about it is heaven, thinking about it is hell
Different mentality, the evaluation of the events that happened is so different, it will inevitably have an impact on the attitude of dealing with the problem, and it will also have an impact on the road of life in the future.

Many people often encounter frustration and distress of one kind or another, always feel that they are lost, and that they have become the biggest sufferer in the world.Many times, sadness and pain are because we can't think about it, take things too seriously, and can't look beyond our hearts to see the light.

There was a pair of good friends in the orphanage, who were later adopted by wealthy families.Both of them have gone to famous schools in the world.But there is a big difference between the two of them: one is a successful businessman in his early 40s who can actually retire and enjoy life; the other is a schoolteacher who is poorly paid and has always felt like a failure .

One day, they met by chance while they were praying in a temple, and they told each other what happened over the years.The businessman has been to many places, so he relished telling interesting stories about his travels around the world, while the school teacher just talked about his misfortunes: how she was a poor Asian orphan, how she was adopted to far away Switzerland, she felt that she How lonely.

As her resentment grew, the businessman finally couldn't help waving his hand in front of her and stopped her narration: "Enough! Have you finished?! You have been talking about how unfortunate you are. Have you Ever wondered what would happen if your adoptive parents picked someone else out of hundreds of orphans?" The school teacher looked directly at the businessman and said, "You don't know, the root of my unhappiness is..." Then went on to describe her injustice suffered.

Eventually, the businessman friend said, "I can't believe you're still thinking that! I remember being 25 and couldn't stand the world around me, I hated everything around me, I hated everyone around me, like all Everyone seemed to be against me. I was very sad, helpless, and frustrated. My thoughts at that time were the same as yours now, and we all have enough reasons to complain.” He became more and more excited as he spoke, “I advise you not to Treat yourself like that again! Think how lucky you are that you don't have to live a miserable life like a true orphan, you actually got a very good education. You have a responsibility to help others out of the poverty vortex, not Surround yourself with a bunch of self-pitying excuses. I got where I am now after I got rid of my self-pity and realized how lucky I really am!"

The teacher was deeply shocked.It was the first time that someone had denied her ideas, interrupted her sad recollection of how easily sympathized they had been.

The businessman friend clearly stated that the two of them were struggling in the same environment, but the difference was that he allowed himself to see the positive aspects instead of the negative shadows through sober self-choice.Some people say: Every wall is a door.Even if the wall in front of you seals you off, you can still see it as your way out.

"Life is not about comparison, happiness comes from cherishing".If you can consciously adjust your attention center, you will get a new balance of the original unbalanced psychology, which will undoubtedly stabilize your emotions and emotions.The so-called magic is born from the heart, and heaven and hell are only a thought. Regularly sort out and introspect your mind to ensure that you will not be controlled by the demons, avoid endless disasters, and avoid harming others and yourself.

Different mentality, the evaluation of the events that happened is so different, it will inevitably have an impact on the attitude of dealing with the problem, and it will also have an impact on the road of life in the future.It takes wisdom to live.If you're not wise enough, at least be open-minded.Look at problems with an optimistic, open-minded, and considerate attitude, and you will see the bright side of things; look at issues with a pessimistic, narrow, and harsh attitude, and you will feel that the world is gloomy.Two people locked in the same cell look at the outside world through the bars, one sees the beautiful and mysterious starry sky, and the other sees the garbage and mud on the ground, this is the difference.

Only by learning to let go and being able to think about it can we pick up our own happiness.Born in the world, everyone will inevitably experience hardships and hardships. If you think about it, you will be in heaven, and if you can't, it will be hell.

If you can't change it, learn to accept it

Since there are some things that we cannot grasp and control, no amount of complaints will help. We can only accept it and find ways to improve it.That's all.

Mr. Nan Huaijin said: "Attributing unhappy things to 'everything is the Dharma'. Failure, frustration, and failure are usually not too big to bear. The reason why you worry about it may be that you think it shouldn't belong to you. When you are going to accept it, the knot is untied."

Many times, we like to imagine that if we are more beautiful and taller, if we applied for another university, if he did not appear at the wrong time, etc., if these assumptions can be established, then the world It's bound to be perfect, at least in the way we think it is.

Regrettably, life is just a one-way ticket, and everything that has been passed and experienced has become an unchangeable fact and history.All joys and sorrows, whether you are willing to accept it or not, have become the truth of life and become unchangeable history.

There is an idiom called "the wood is already made". When you hear this word, you will feel that life is full of helplessness.In our lives, aren't we often faced with many "a done deal" fact?Since there are some things that we cannot grasp and control, no amount of complaints will help. We can only accept it and find ways to improve it.That's all.Just like when we play poker, you may be dealt a good hand or a bad hand, but in any case, we must find a way to play the highest level and strive to win the game.

There used to be such a short story called "Let Go".

A woodcutter went to the mountain to cut firewood, and fell down the cliff due to carelessness. When he was about to be smashed to pieces, in desperation, he grabbed a horizontal tree trunk halfway up the mountain. Fortunately, the trunk was relatively strong. However, the woodcutter did not fall off the cliff, but was hung in mid-air, and his life was temporarily saved.But a new problem came up again: the cliff was bare, there was no place to hold hands, and it was so high that people couldn't climb it at all, and there was a cliff valley below, so jumping off didn't seem so suitable.

The helpless woodcutter had no choice but to wait for rescue, but who knew that he was hung in mid-air?Just when he didn't know what to do, an old monk happened to pass by. He gave the woodcutter a suggestion and said, "Let go!"

(End of this chapter)