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Chapter 19 Don't easily compromise with life in difficult days (2)
I'm not a talented player either, but luckily I relax and treat it as a hobby. Someone like me will definitely not be able to get into any school band, and the sound is not outstanding.But I think that boy has the potential to be a lead singer, and he can captivate many people with his timbre.

Once everyone was resting.Occasionally, some people are practicing special skills such as tapping strings and sliding strings.At this time, he was still desperately opening his left hand, separated his fingers on different strings, and practiced the most basic C chord.But his fingers always touched other strings, and his right hand couldn't make a sound, or made strange noises.

A handsome boy next to him said, relax your hand a little, don't press it too hard.

The guitar teacher also affirmed his statement.

The students who learned the piano together started practicing on their own after speaking.He nodded slightly, his face flushed red.I asked the teacher if I can't open my hands so much and can't press the C chord.

The boy who spoke before smiled, how could it be possible. The C chord is the most basic.There are also improved chords that span multiple frets, and those are the exaggerations.

He didn't speak, and was still practicing the C chord there.

Think about it, when I first started learning the piano, like him, I always felt that I couldn't master some chords.And when I first started practicing, the high-pitched mi string was very thin, and it hurt my left hand.After the calluses started, the strong pain began to disappear.

Because of the cross-level teaching, there are guitar lovers of different levels sitting in the piano shop.Some boys are at a level where they can write their own songs. They pay money to learn the piano, but they just want to find a place to practice the piano. There are fellow students who can better supervise their progress.Although some are not at the level of songwriting, at least they can play a few Beyond songs casually, or buy books by themselves, and learn some popular songs according to the scores.

I belong to the stupid kind, thinking that I can learn a few songs and use them to show off in the future.When the piano shop teacher taught me how to tune the piano, he asked the boy to follow me and learn together.Because he came later than me, these may be more difficult for him than for me.

The teacher took out a wind tuner.It is said that the tightness of the strings will affect the change of the scale. After a long time, the sound of the piano will be inaccurate, and we need to adjust it.You can listen to the change of each string tone to adjust the tightness of the strings.If not, you can also use the tuner to play. The sound of the tuner is the scale that the corresponding strings should be calibrated.

The teacher messed up the strings of me and the boy, and let us try to tune it ourselves.I twisted it for a long time and couldn't find the feeling.The boy, too, couldn't figure it out.Later, under the influence of the sound of the tuner, I slowly found the feeling.After the adjustment, the teacher said, I can barely find the feeling, go back and practice more.But the boy couldn't get it right.Later, the teacher helped him tune it up, and asked him to start practicing from the most basic chords.

After a few days, the boy did not appear in the piano store again.The class is not over yet, and I don't know where he went.I also asked the teacher, and he said he didn't know either, maybe there was something that couldn't come.

By chance, I ran into him at school.It turned out that he was a student who was a grade lower than me. He usually did not attend classes in the same building and rarely met him.I asked him why he didn't continue taking guitar lessons.He said that he feels that everyone is very good. He writes songs and plays them. He is the only one who has been practicing the most basic chords for almost a month, and he always feels that he has no progress.

He felt that those who practiced well were always laughing at themselves.The more in that state, the more difficult it is to practice, and the more pressure I feel.I didn't know why, and I thought it was funny to say such a reason, so I didn't tell the teacher, and I never went again.

At that time, I just comforted him a few words, thinking that he should not give up or something.I think his voice is so good, it's a pity to give up like this.Thinking about it now, it's really a pity. I don't know where he went, whether he was still singing or playing guitar.

Sometimes, we always care about other people's eyes and other people's evaluation, as if our life is for others to see.After all, life is your own, and your path is your own. No one can judge your path.We can set outstanding people as our goals, but life itself should not be compared horizontally. Only by looking back vertically can we see our progress and the value of our efforts.

three

During an interview, I met a girl who studied yoga and spiritual practice.She is from Sichuan, and she has a very sweet smile.She opened a cafe and often invited three or five friends to come to the cafe to tell stories and tell her life experiences.

That day she shared with me about her yoga and spiritual practice.

She said, who said that women are born to be made of water.When I first went to learn yoga, the movements were horrific, like I was in a horror movie, torturing myself and others.Let other students see, really drunk.

She was not confident for a while.She found the yoga teacher to complain, and she really couldn't bear such a twisted movement.Others are doing so well, how can my twisting be called yoga? It must have made them laugh.

The yoga teacher said, no way, yoga is a calming thing.Those who really practice well will focus on every movement of their own. That is the master, almost to the state of selflessness, who has the time to watch you.However, there is no guarantee that no one will come to see you and laugh at you. When you are practicing yoga, you still have time to laugh at others, which proves that she is not much better.Only half-hearted people can laugh at fifty steps and laugh at hundred steps.

Hearing what she said, I was quite emotional.If I had the chance to stand in front of the boy who took guitar lessons with me again, I'd probably tell him the same thing.Maybe my peers, I have no reason and no qualifications to be an inspiration in his life, but I can be a companion in life.I am a naturally dull person. When it comes to practicing guitar, because I have a hobby mentality, I don’t have the pressure like him. But in many aspects, I have also encountered obstacles that I can’t get over, and I always feel that I am not doing enough. Well, it will be laughed at by others.It’s as if we’ve made our own lives someone else’s.We are just pretending to live the life that other people want to see.

Showing off and slandering each other makes each of us an acting school, forgetting our true selves in this scene of life.Let others see, let him go, be yourself recklessly, and find a satisfactory answer in your own direction.If we are not satisfied, we can also find the motivation to move forward in our dissatisfaction.There is no need to magnify other people's opinions and put shackles on your own life, maybe others don't care about you that much at all.

Everyone is a mirror.Use copper as a mirror to straighten your clothes.What we see in the ridicule of others (what we think) is just the shadow of our own heart.Social media gives us the illusion of being noticed, as if our failures and embarrassments are also being watched by the world. Those dark histories that may never turn us back... Is that really the case?Successful people probably never have time to doubt themselves. They sum up experience where they fell, get up quickly, and go faster and higher.

Some roads can only be walked alone

What we have to do is not to look back and lament the lost people in the past, but to find happiness in loneliness and move forward slowly.

More and more people on Weibo are nostalgic, posting the childhood memories of the post-80s generation, clockwork frogs, gunpowder toy guns, Shuke and Beta, and frequently taking screenshots of various newspaper news saying that the last batch of post-90s post-[-]s have already reached the age of late marriage age.

I wrote "Some Stories Don't Need to Be Tell Everyone", and I pursued my dreams all the way. I thought it was a reason to let my friends pay attention to me, but in the end it was just to give myself a better answer.After writing the article, I cried after revising it. I have never looked back at the road I have traveled before, and suddenly looking back makes people feel a little at a loss.Many people disappeared as they walked, and they continued to move forward in the original direction.

Junior high school is probably the best period of youth.Form a five-person group with K, J, H, D, etc. The girl I like is the representative of the Chinese class, just like the scene in the movie "The Girl Who Chased Together in Those Years", a group of boys surround a girl with a ponytail and perform A period of youth.At that time, with the four boys, I didn't think about my future life and the pressure of work and family, and I didn't even have the pressure of the high school entrance examination.We often make appointments to play games together, and Xiaobawang was still popular at that time.We often gather at my house to play Contra, Three-Eyed Boy, and Tank Wars. When we are not interested in playing, we will go to the black game hall in the town to play Street Fighter, Journey to the West, Three Kingdoms, or Sailor.

K and I have a good relationship. The best relationship at that time was to play games together and share the feeling of liking girls.He likes M, and I like the Chinese class representative show.I don't know who said that, but the first love is to be remembered.I thought that this carefree life would accompany us for a long time, but many things changed after I graduated from junior high school.That summer passed so long that it seemed that many things were taken away.I once wrote a diary for the girl show for two years. The two thick diaries were filled with her feelings and mine. There were her handwriting and mine on them, but we separated after we graduated from middle school.

At that time, the dream of literature began to sprout.In high school, I met my good friend Lao Yang. Lao Yang was a tall boy with dark skin and looked older than his age. His short hair was slightly curly.He especially loves to read martial arts novels. He often listens to me in the dormitory about Gu Long, Jin Yong, Liang Yusheng, Wen Ruian and Huang Yi.Speaking of the pornographic clips in Huang Yi's novels "Looking for the Qin Dynasty" and "Overturning the Clouds and Overcoming Rain", I am delighted, saying that "The Story of Looking for the Qin Dynasty" is not at all the "Looking for the Qin Dynasty" in the TV series.

At that time, Lao Yang and I wrote poems together.To be honest, my writing sucks.I remember that Lao Yang and I often discussed the same proposition at that time, and I still remember that we wrote a poem about "butterfly" together. His poem was shorter and more concise, many times better than mine.Lao Yang and I made an agreement that we would start writing poems from then on, no matter where each other went in college, we would keep writing, and set a four-year poetry promise in college.I don't know if Lao Yang still remembers that agreement until now, but it has become an empty agreement that no one agrees to.

He went to Panzhihua with his family.Lao Yang is a very hardworking person.But after entering college, he compromised.Intermittent contact, once in a while he suddenly learned that I joined the magazine and was still engaged in writing, he said: "You are still persisting, and you are still in that circle. Hearing it made me feel cold."

Isn't this the way we once promised together?I really wanted to ask him about our four-year poetry agreement, but it dawned on him that he just chose a trajectory that he thought was more in line with his own life.At that intersection, we each held our own and walked farther and farther.I have no reason to accuse him of anything with that agreement.In the end it was still silent.

Later, I read Dong Qiao’s article "The Sound of Rain Is Not Poetic". The text is simple, and it talks about literature with friends on rainy nights, and their wives are foreigners. They don’t understand their love, so I have to change the subject... I will think of Lao Yang, the old Yang who wrote poetry much better than me in high school.If he insists on writing for a lifetime, can he become the next Dong Qiao?

I have always used that idea to resist the loneliness deep inside.Loving words is a lonely thing in itself. Writing has always been lonely, but after writing for more than ten years, I still haven't adapted to that kind of loneliness.

Neither friendship nor literary dreams can help us drive away loneliness, and it seems that neither can love.None of us are philosophers, and we can’t comprehend Schopenhauer’s kind of detachment, but when we read his books, we always sigh that it’s no wonder he became a philosopher in the end.

To be able to enjoy myself, to feel that everything is in me, and to be able to say that what I have is in me—this is the most important thing that constitutes happiness.Therefore, what Aristotle said is worth repeating: Happiness belongs to those who are easily satisfied.

……

Either lonely or vulgar.Uncomfortable as it was to say it, Anginus—with all his Christian love and tenderness—had to say this: Solitude is hard; but don't be vulgar; for then you will You will find a desert everywhere.

When I was in college, I suddenly received a text message from Xiu, a girl I liked in junior high school.She said, I think you are very similar to Fu Xiaosi in Guo Jingming's "The Summer Solstice Has Not Come".So I went to buy "The Summer Solstice Has Not Come" and saw Guo Jingming's revenge for his plagiarism case. The prototype of Fu Xiaosi was Guo Jingming himself. The one who walks alone.It turned out that in her mind, after many years, I was still that shining middle school boy.Maybe there was love behind that text message.But in the end, we are lost and have our own life trajectory.

Later, when I chatted with Lao Yang, I didn't know what to say after a few words. The same goes for K and those teenagers back then. I haven’t seen each other for many years after they separated. They are already the fathers of their children, and I am still moving forward on the long road of writing.Many of the happiness, dreams and love that I once thought could accompany me for a lifetime have gone with my youth.

We always long for the response of the world in our own lives.Every morning when you get up early, before you get out of bed, you first open Weibo or WeChat, looking forward to "you have a new message", eager to be noticed by others, and eager for the world's response to you.Sometimes we even turn off our mobile phones and Weibo because of our willfulness, to see who will think of us.

After the communication was resumed the next day, I saw that the incoming call record was 0, there was no new message in the text message record, and Weibo and WeChat seemed to have fallen asleep.If there is nothing, it is inevitable to be disappointed.After leaving the campus, each of us is like a ray that does not intersect each other and walks into the distance. Loneliness is not self-pity, but the greatest driving force for progress, and it is also the normal state of life that we must face.

We will meet many farewells and encounters, but we will never meet someone like K who is willing to accompany me to play games until dark and go home to be scolded, and we will never meet someone who writes a few diaries for you Girl, I can’t meet Lao Yang who accompanied my dream at a certain stage of youth, and I can’t meet someone like Fatty in college who accompanied me to drink when I was broken in love and stopped me when I drank too much, Helped me drink all the wine... It's not that the people I met later were not good, but that we gradually realized that people's paths are different after all, and some paths have to be faced and walked by ourselves.

What we have to do is not to look back and lament the lost people in the past, but to find happiness in loneliness and move forward slowly.

Life is low, and there are ups and downs everywhere
When you have nothing, it’s time to get it. Don’t be afraid of losing it. You just need to sort out your mood and do what you should do. The harvest will come as you move forward.

(End of this chapter)