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Chapter 20 Don't easily compromise with life in difficult days (3)
Older people often say this about us, young people, you still can't bear hardships, think about us back then...whether we can endure hardships or not, sometimes it seems to be a question of the times.In our hearts, the feelings of hardships and hardships imposed on our hearts are no weaker than anyone else.Even sometimes when we are in a stalemate in the dialogue with life, we feel in a dilemma or confused, and even wish to end everything with death.

It's funny to say that the first time I thought of ending my sadness with death was when I was in junior high school, and I had a conflict with the girl I liked at the time.At that time, I was sitting alone on the edge of the roof of the school dormitory building. The building was only four floors high, and there was a slope below. There were trees on the slope, and a small river was under the tree.

I sat on the roof for a long time, feeling very sad, but in the early summer evening, the sky was getting darker, the town had no tall buildings, the edge of the town was flat fields, and further away were houses and hills.The breeze was blowing, and there was a feeling that summer was coming. After sitting for a long time, he left the roof and returned to the dormitory.

I don't know if it's because I'm afraid of death.But the feeling at that time was that the relationship was defeated, the heart was like a knife, and the whole person was not good.

It is said that time is the best medicine, and it is also a butcher's knife, so that we will no longer be entangled with the troubles of young Werther, and it will also make us look old.Thinking about it later, the idea of ​​using death to deal with emotional problems back then was really stupid.Thinking about it later, I thought it was kind of cute.

So far, the real trough of my life should be my first year of college graduation, the year of birth.I, who never believed in fate, was finally tossed enough by fate.When the real trough came, I was so frightened that I lost the ability to think.

Things were not going well at the time.The editor-in-chief is an incompetent glass-hearted person who doesn't talk about anything, doesn't work all day long, scans for sexy beauties on the Internet, and then, like an ancient supervisor, looks around at everyone's computer to see if everyone is working hard.In addition, after summarizing all the daily and weekly reports to him, the results in the monthly reports have become his leadership skills.The site editors all had a problem with him.

Moreover, the environment of the entire company is very bad. Although it is a large Internet company listed on the New York Stock Exchange, it is cronyistic internally, and employees leave frequently. I, who can stay for more than a year, was praised as "" epic".

Once I was dispatched to a certain university for an activity, but the activity was not successful in the end.At the summary meeting, I said where the failure of this activity was.He quarreled with me in the QQ group of the department just because I used the word "failure".Said I shouldn't use failure to describe it.

In such a working environment, I just graduated, and I don’t have the boldness to walk away with my hair shaking.Suddenly my mother was diagnosed with cancer.While taking care of work by myself, I accompanied my mother to do various examinations in the hospital.Although most of the time the responsibility of taking care of my mother falls on my elder sister, I still often have to go to the hospital by car before dawn from where I live, buy breakfast for my mother, then go to work at the company, and return to the hospital at noon. She buys lunch.Go to the hospital after get off work at night.Sometimes even overnight in the hospital.

At that time, the busy mother had become much weaker.She raised me from the countryside, and the torment of my son wanting to be filial and my relatives not around made me gnawed by fear every moment.I still have to pretend that nothing happened in front of my mother, and comfort my mother that after the operation, I will get better soon.Behind my back, I only cried bitterly beside my friends.At that time, a lot of friends I met because I was frustrated with the website work accompanied me during the most difficult time.

My mother was in poor health, and she comforted me, saying that it was nothing, and let me work hard, because the current employment environment is very bad.Mom still won't let me quit my job.At that time, I felt that the whole person was slammed into the water.I can't swim, struggling desperately, and the feeling of suffocation makes me feel that I may drown at any time. An occasional gasp can save my life, but it can't save me from the painful experience.

When the whole person falls into a certain desperate situation, there may only be two thoughts in your mind: give up, or survive.When I was young, I thought about giving up because of my feelings, but now I dare not, and I don't know if I can survive it.It's like running a marathon to the limit, although the feet are moving forward step by step, people have lost consciousness.I can no longer face the harsh working environment, and my seriously ill mother may leave me at any time.But as I walked, I got out of such an extremely bad state, but I paid the price for several years.

I wrote a diary of more than [-] words to vent my emotions, and accompanied my mother in her final life until she left this world. In the end, I spent several years fighting against the final picture, allowing myself to turn all the sadness and loss into words of nostalgia.

Over the years, I have seen many people who bow their heads to life and fate.In high school, some alumni jumped off the teaching building due to the pressure of the college entrance examination, and fell to death at the door of the reading room where people come and go; She was so sad that she cut her wrists and committed suicide. The pain and bleeding did not bring death. She was still sad, so she climbed to the roof of the dormitory and jumped down.There are also many who, after encountering a trough in their lives, chose to give up their efforts and return to the rural towns of the year, have children and live an ordinary life.Occasionally when I go back to the small town, I often see many classmates from the past, but they are just familiar, but I completely forget the original appearance of them in my mind, and I even don’t recognize some of them.It's not because of the long-term change in appearance, but in their eyes, a kind of indifference to the world that compromises and bows to fate.

Compromise and giving up are the easiest choices. I am afraid that those who have struggled between compromise and persistence for a long time will finally choose to give up.When you encounter great difficulties, you have nothing more to lose. Instead, it is a good opportunity to survive from desperation.Because no matter which direction you work hard, you are on the way up.

I saw a story on the Internet a while ago.A girl who was studying abroad was cheated by a Chinese while she was working, and sold her to the police, and was fined more than 4000 RMB.When the accident happened, I happened to want to transfer to another school, and I had a falling out with all the school leaders. After a long time of tossing, I finally transferred to another school successfully.Going to another strange city by herself, looking for a house, moving, and having no friends, she has to face everything alone, which is very hard and tiring.I thought everything would be fine after I left that damn place and bad school, but before I left, I lost all my bank cards and identity documents.Alone in a foreign country, the more I think about it, the more sad I become, and I cry silently on the subway alone, with so many emotions that I don’t know who to tell.

On the subway, a foreign old lady whom she didn't know patted her on the shoulder and said, "Girl, it's nothing. No matter how sad things are, you'll be fine after a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is another new day."

Such a simple truth is so similar in different people's hearts all over the world.Maybe we want to give up when we are in a difficult situation, and we also long for someone who can pat us on the shoulder and tell us "tomorrow is another day".But you have to believe from the bottom of your heart that tomorrow is another day.

Overcoming difficulties, every effort and every bit of progress is an upward kinetic energy.When there is nothing, it is the time to get it. Don’t worry about losing it. You just need to sort out your mood and do what you should do. The harvest will come as you move forward.

It is difficult to digest, to embrace the splendor

Every problem in life is in our own hands, so is the difficulty of solving the problem, and the final answer is still in our own hands.

R is a publisher.A girl standing on the tail of the post-80s generation.

She is younger than me, but sometimes I silently praise her in my heart.Although the evaluation criteria in this society are a bit nonsense, and you happened to bump into it, but I want to say that R made me understand that a person's ability and degree of success are really not based on age or working years.Not everyone who is better than you has better conditions than you and stands on the starting line one centimeter ahead of you.

When R graduated from university, she was also an ordinary girl. After studying in Beijing, she almost identified with this city.Some cities are like this. Once you go, you don’t want to leave again, just like you can’t go back to your hometown once you leave.She liked literature, so she found a job as a publishing editor.

When she first joined the publishing company, she was just a girl who couldn't choose a topic and could only recognize typos, let alone print sheets, and didn't understand anything about the post-marketing and promotion of books.At the beginning, speaking at the topic selection meeting always made the old editor laugh.She thinks that the selected topics are too literary and have no market value.Being laughed at a lot, she just endured in silence.

After the meeting, she always took the trouble to ask all the kind old editors for advice, accumulating all kinds of work-related knowledge.From learning from others to gradually mastering some work skills, she began to know how to find topics by stepping on the veins of the market.In this way, she started to develop from a small editor to a publisher.

Until she made a successful case, she was appreciated by her boss, her salary gradually increased, and she was even promoted to department director later.Everything was accumulated bit by bit by herself.Speaking of which, it is still a very mainstream story.In fact, at the position of director, she is still doing her own work like all planners, discussing various publishing topics and directions with the team.The difference is that all the employees in the department are off work, and there are fewer and fewer people in the entire office area, but her desk is one of the only cubicles with lights on.

Although in terms of position, she has become a director, but in the publishing industry, one's success is not defined by one's position, and you have to produce your works.Publishing editors are different from reporters. When they go out to run manuscripts, not only do they have no red envelopes to get, but they also have to pay for various transportation expenses by themselves. They are running around the city in the scorching summer just to meet an author and negotiate a manuscript.

Nowadays, as long as it is the author she wants to negotiate, almost all of them are unsuccessful.And almost most of the books she planned can sell well.Usually, as long as she does not choose topics, she communicates with many media professionals and publishers, establishes a huge interpersonal network, and masters various personal marketing channels and resource channels.The best thing about her is that as long as she wants to contact an author, no matter how difficult it is, she will talk to him through her personal network.

The work took her a lot of time, but she quietly completed the building of the human network in her spare time.After the construction was completed, many colleagues were astonished. How did such a young girl know so many people, and how did she maintain a good relationship with everyone while completing her work?
She didn't want to say much either.She didn't want to say more because she was afraid of revealing her secrets, but because of all the hardships and hardships. Many things about her were heard from other friends in the circle.

I remember some time ago, before she left her old club, she planned a celebrity travel book.Because the star was very popular during that time, there were several TV dramas being staged at the same time, and it coincided with the upcoming wedding, which was very entertaining.She tried to find a way to get in touch with the star.

Unexpectedly, the entertainer with a glamorous appearance doesn't have much ink in his stomach.A travel book, not written like a travel book, is completely talking to itself.It doesn't matter anymore, celebrities have their market appeal, and they continue to do it.He had to personally do the later cover design of the book, which should have been a good thing, but his lack of basic knowledge made R's work a mess.

The detailed design is guided by the artist, and the layout is messy.The title was also set without any explosive points, and the cover picture was also chosen inexplicably.The key is the glass heart of this artist, and the editor is not allowed to change it casually.R, who has produced so many best-selling books, was filled with anger, and finally returned to the editing center alone.After get off work, I looked at the messy manuscript and cried.What has been changed.

Later she switched to another big company.This company is a big one, but after coming here, she is just a little girl, and most of her colleagues are old people, and this is a company that counts wages and positions based on length of service.After jumping over, she suddenly felt like jumping into a fire pit.

Angry, but also helpless.I came to the new company because I wanted to choose a new topic and translate books in small languages.She began to buy textbooks in small languages ​​to read, and privately enrolled in small language training classes.In order to be able to communicate with foreign authors to develop a larger author resource group.Sometimes looking at her WeChat, swiping various foreign languages ​​that I can't understand, I wonder, where does she get so much energy?Are you young?Or is there something closer to the truth than youth?
Soon, she posted a set of translation books she had just planned on WeChat, which had to be admired.Apart from this, she has been insisting on writing.In just two or three years, I unknowingly saw her photo in the promotional area of ​​a book e-commerce website recommending emerging writers.In the photo, she is sitting reclined on the grass, and the camera lens is taken from the right rear of her.Although she didn't show her face, I knew it was her.

Having known her for a long time, I have an unconscious sense of trust in her.I think she is a good editor, and she is still an excellent author.I met her as a media person, but I have a kind of expectation that I can have my works published in the hands of this little girl.I know that I didn't seize this opportunity before she started to do small languages, and it will probably be difficult in the future.But apart from that longing, it was more of an admiration for her.

The little girl never said it was bitter, but she started to shine inadvertently.But looking back and thinking about the experience of knowing each other in the past few years, I feel that everything did not come by luck, and that every opportunity was the result of her hard work.Everyone is struggling, some are persistent and some have given up.Everyone knows that only through suffering can one enjoy splendor.But not everyone can do it.While admiring, I remembered the line in Han Han's movie "The Future Will Be Unexpected": I have heard a lot of great truths, but I still can't live this life well.

A closer look at the process of R's luminescence reveals that it's a story that couldn't be more clichéd.But it's old-fashioned, but others have done it.She firmly believes that struggle can change life, and there must be a way to success.If you don't accumulate steps, you can reach thousands of miles.

I have never heard her complain. When she first joined the publishing company, she was ridiculed by others. She complained about how she paid a meager salary to visit authors. She complained about how she worked overtime until late at night. , or complained about all kinds of dissatisfaction with Huopeng Company.

She's just doing her job quietly, slowly but surely.After all, life gave her the answer as a best-selling curator and budding author.

Every problem in life is in our own hands, so is the difficulty of solving the problem, and the final answer is still in our own hands.

When you are young, you can afford to lose, and you are not afraid of falling. The important thing is that you don't give up on yourself, make changes in a down-to-earth manner, and work hard.People without dreams are poor, so don't give up your dreams at any time.

(End of this chapter)