Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 16 Bronze Mirror (3)
Li Botong continued: "According to the previous events, it should be the turn of the remaining residents, namely Reddy Gaga, Yun Mei, and that vixen."

"Wait," I said, "Kong Ting and Guan Xing both died or were buried in the second floor of the small second floor. It's normal to stay here. Reddy Gaga Yunmei and Sanniang lived in later. How can this be the same."

"Everything is predestined in the dark, and if there is a cause, there must be an effect. The fate-changing person has already planted the cause, so he will naturally know the result." Li Botong said, "So they came to the second floor, and they are also calculating the fate-changing person. among."

I suddenly realized: "So the forest where Yunmei died is the small second floor now!"

Li Botong nodded and said: "Since we know the thinking of the person who changed his life, in order to find out the truth, we must act first and rush ahead of the person who changed his life. In order to prevent other accidents from happening."

This makes sense, any event where a life-changer appears is very bizarre and dangerous.

I nodded repeatedly, and said in admiration to the black-bearded Taoist priest in front of me: "Uncle, did you think that Yun Mei and I would go to the mirror together at midnight?"

Li Botong smiled with twinkling eyes: "Hey...hey...that's natural. Ma Jianmin told me before that this mirror can't be taken at twelve o'clock in the middle of the night."

He didn't say anything, but once I said it, I became suspicious: "Could it be that after he said it, he wanted to know what would happen when he watched it at twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, but he didn't dare to watch it, so he thought of a way to tell us. I didn't expect it to happen Did you meet Yunmei?"

Li Botong looked up at the sky, and said to him from left to right: "Today's moon is really sunny!"

Yes, I guessed it.

I asked, "Then you know how to get us both back to normal?"

Li Botong nodded: "That's natural." After finishing speaking, he took out a map from his Taoist robe and gave it to me, and said, "I figured out that this place is related to this incident, and I inquired about it. It happens that this place is haunted by ghosts. Get rid of the ghosts." can change back."

Without further ado, Yunmei and I immediately drove to the place marked on the map.

The place on the map is the opposite of my small second floor. If the small second floor is on the west side of the city, the location on the map is on the east side of the city. Although the distance from the city center is the same, the east side develops much faster than the west side.

This place is quite difficult to find. We couldn't find it after searching for a long time, so I pulled a person in front of an antique shop and asked, "Where is No. 33, Heping Road?"

The man stretched out his hand and pointed at the sky ahead, and we saw two signs lined up in the sky between the two buildings.

A plaque above reads 'Peaceful Marriage Agency'.

The lower plate reads 'Wreaths, Shrouds, Funeral Goods'.

An arrow next to the two signs points to the gap between the buildings.

The connotation of these two brands is a good illustration of the eternal truth that marriage is the tomb of love.

I thought No. [-] should be a shroud shop selling funeral supplies, but it turned out that No. [-] was a marriage agency.

The first time I came to this kind of place, I felt a little uncomfortable, so I asked Yunmei: "Then let's go in."

Yun Mei blushed when she saw the word marriage, and said softly, "Then... that's fine..."

It's not a certificate, why be ashamed?

Seeing that Yunmei was still standing there, I urged: "Let's go, if you don't leave, I'll be off work."

As soon as he finished speaking, a group of aunts in floral coats came out of the dating agency.

Really off work.I was thinking about how to tell the aunts about our purpose, and the group of aunts had already surrounded us.

"What's the matter, girl, boy, what are you doing standing here? Are you going to a marriage agency?"

"to us……"

"Then go in, why are you standing still, you two come together, we know each other."

"we are……"

"I'm here to find someone, don't be ashamed, come in, come in."

"not us……"

"It's nothing. I've been standing here looking at our sign for a long time. It's true that you young people just want to save face. Why are you ashamed? You're just looking for someone."

With bursts of laughter like copper bells, we were pushed into the dating agency by the aunts without any room for resistance.

This dating agency is only one floor, about [-] square meters.In addition to the counter for office use, there is also a glass round table next to it, with two chairs next to it, and the floor is clean.

According to Er Gouzi, the overlord of the underworld, in the Jianghu, the group of middle-aged aunts with unattractive looks has amazing fighting power. If they are serious, even the underworld will have to stay away.Because this group of people has an unbelievable grasp of information, no need to go online, just relying on the most primitive communication, the aunts can grasp the information of every member in the street, who's son does what, what is the monthly salary, How many people have I talked about, each person’s height, appearance, professional personality, whose daughter-in-law cooks with a lot of salt, whose child peed his pants at night, etc... Everything is well known by the aunts, fine and small. Even the CIA has to bow down.

It is said that many informants in the police station are the aunts of the neighborhood committees.A lot of information about Er Gouzi was also learned from the Big Mom Alliance.

In short, this is a group that cannot be ignored or underestimated.

Just as I was thinking, the aunts had quickly returned to their posts, some were flipping through their notebooks, some were typing on the computer, and some asked Yunmei, "Young man, what kind of woman do you like?"

"I don't like women." Yun Mei stomped her feet, "I like men!"

The sound of flipping through the notebook and typing on the computer stopped.

Oops, as soon as I slapped her forehead, why did Yunmei forget that her body and mine were swapped!
I quickly smoothed things over: "He doesn't like women, I like women."

As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew it was broken, and there was a dead silence in the room.

After an unknown amount of time, an aunt looked at us and said with an understanding expression, "This... this... is really hard to find a partner."

"It's not about that." Taking advantage of this moment, I quickly stated my purpose, "I heard that your place is haunted..."

After hearing this sentence, the aunts became happy again: "Oh, Daoist Li asked you to come here, right?"

I was surprised that Li Botong was so famous!

"Come on, come on, sit down quickly." The aunts immediately showed great enthusiasm to entertain us, "You are here, we have been annoyed by the haunting for a long time."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"It's because of that ghost." The aunt in blue looked indescribable, "Our dating agency will not be able to continue."

While speaking, the temperature of the dating agency dropped instantly.

The aunt wearing glasses looked around, stretched out her index finger and made a 'shh' gesture: "Coming soon."

In the evening, the dim light shone on the house, and the dating agency was silent. When the light dimmed by half, suddenly there was a slight sound.

The voice was near and far away, floating, sometimes blurred and sometimes clear, but when you listened carefully, it was a man's elongated voice.

"Looking for...not...to...old...grandmother...ah..."

"No... yes... child... ah..."

"Men...more...female...less...why...how...how...heh..."

"Policy... policy... no... ok... no... money... marry... old... woman... ah..."

I looked around vigilantly, but saw nothing. It seemed that the ghost was deliberately invisible.

I asked, "Do you know the identity of this ghost?"

"He's also a hard-working person!" said the aunt who was ironing an instant noodle head, "I was too old to marry a wife, and then I finally talked to a girl in the next city. The girl said you should find a good job, just in time. He quit his job when he was recruited by other companies, but he was laid off when the economic crisis hit him. Finally, he found another job with a lower salary than before. The girl said that if you find a job slowly, you have to have a house together. , so he was going to buy a house. He asked about the house price the first year, sold the land at home and used all his savings to buy a house, but the house price went up, and the money he collected could only buy a toilet. The girl said that we were far away and had no house It’s okay to have a car if you don’t have a job, so the man went to buy a car, and the gas price went up after he bought it, and three more toll booths were added on the highway to the next city. Hearing him crying, I gradually didn’t dare to drive anymore. Later, the price of everything he wanted to buy was raised, and the money in his hand couldn’t afford anything, and after spending so many years, the girl couldn’t wait and ran away.”

I asked: "He didn't come across anything with a reduced price?"

"It happened. He bought stocks when the stock market was still over 6000 points."

"Okay..." I said, "Go on."

"His death is also a recent incident." The aunt said, "After suffering so many blows, this man hid in the house and never went out. In order to make ends meet, he sold all the TVs at home. He hoarded a lot of rice. Noodles and instant noodles live on their own with the rest of the money. They live in seclusion and don’t talk to others. They just go out to buy vegetables occasionally. Then one day, when he ran out of salt, he went out to buy salt and took two yuan to sell it. The one who bought salt said that the price of table salt had risen due to the nuclear leak in Japan, and the price of salt was [-] a pack. The man couldn’t hold his breath, and he died of anger.” The aunt shook her head and sighed, “It’s a pity, he was just arrested. Those who were so angry that they sold salt at a high price were arrested."

The ghost's voice was still echoing in the dating agency.

"Why... why... my... life... this... what... suffering... ah..."

"Why...why...even...food...salt...price...ah..."

"Live...no...down...go...la...I...want...to...marry...old...wife..."

"Listen, listen." The aunt said angrily, "I howl like this every day, and when the guests come, they start to howl, and sometimes they show up to scare the young people, and all the guests are scared away! How do we do business..." He said As she said that, she turned her head to look at me, "Hey, why are your eyes so red?"

"As a person of the same sex... no, I can understand his mood." I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger, and asked again, "He's making such a fuss, why don't you think of a solution?"

"Think about it, isn't there a paper doll selling wreath next door? We thought he wanted a wife, so we burned a paper doll for him. He was quiet for three months, and then started screaming again. But the content of what he shouted changed. "

Yun Mei asked: "What has become?"

The ghost shouted as if answering us: "No... house... ah... no... place... place... to live... ah..."

The aunt continued: "We burned a house for him."

The male ghost's voice immediately explained: "The house... there is no... key... ah..."

Another aunt said: "A few days after the burning was over, he asked for a car again, and we burned another car."

The male ghost said: "The car... the car... has no... oil... ah..."

The next aunt continued: "I have a car and I need a computer."

The male ghost's voice was full of tears: "Electr... brain... no... connected... net... ah..."

"I want a new LW bag and diamond ring, brand-name clothes and shoes after I gave the computer."

The male ghost mourned: "The old... mother... said... all... are... fake... ah..."

"Nonsense!" the aunts scolded, "Can we really afford it?"

The more the aunts talked, the more angry they became. The last aunt who was skinny and had high cheekbones asked me angrily: "You said he was like this endlessly, what should we do?"

I nodded and said meaningfully, "Hmm..."

The eyes of the aunts lit up, and they approached me with curious and excited gossip expressions: "Did you see something?"

"I can see it." I said, "You guys are joking, and this male ghost is joking."

The aunts scattered.

"Who told him about cross talk," said the aunt with gold-rimmed glasses, "this ghost even threatened us that if we don't give it to him, we will scare away all our customers."

The instant noodle aunt went on to say: "Because of making these strange things all day long, Lao Jia, who makes paper figurines from the shop next door, is now studying fashion magazines and learning how to make shrouds. You said that Lao Jia is very old, and he spends all day It's not ridiculous to read fashion magazines showing arms and legs."

I said, "If you burn paper money for him, it will be over."

The ghost immediately said: "Money... will... pass... goods... swell... swell... I... don't... want to..."

Sure enough, he is a modern ghost. He has learned and used it flexibly, and brought the knowledge of his life to the underworld. He is educated!Be wise!

The instant noodle aunt looked at us in embarrassment: "What are you going to do?"

"It's not easy to handle," I said, "he's a rogue now, and you have to use rogue methods to deal with rogues."

"What method?"

I smiled and whispered something to the instant noodle aunt.

"Can it be done?" The instant noodle aunt looked at me suspiciously.

I said confidently: "No, you come to me."

When I left the dating agency, I noticed a hostile stare.Turning around, I saw an old man standing in the shroud shop next door, staring at us.It was almost dark at this moment, the shroud shop did not turn on the lights, and the old man was wearing a black dress again, his whole body almost melted into the darkness.

This person is probably what the aunts call Lao Jia, the owner of the shroud shop.

The old man didn't know if he had been in contact with the things used by the dead for a long time. There was an indescribable feeling in his eyes when he looked at people. His eyes were sharp as if he wanted to see the soul of people.

The old man only stared at me, not at Yunmei.

From the matchmaking agency, so many big mothers don't pay attention, they just focus on the physicality of the young girl.It can be seen that this old man is a character.

Strangely, Yun Mei was also staring at the old man.

Now the eyes of these two people are not gathered together, but judging from their appearance, if their eyes meet, it will definitely be a thunderbolt, and it will be out of control.

"What's wrong?" I asked strangely.

"Nothing." Yun Mei shook her head.

I turned around to look at the shroud shop again, and the owner was no longer there.

Three days later, the dating agency called and said that the matter was settled, and the male ghost stopped harassing their work.

Residents on the second floor were deeply curious about my admiration, and the hanged ghost asked me, "What method do you use?"

I said: "I asked them to burn four more modern paper figurines of young girls for his wife, and an old paper figurine for him to be his mother."

"You acted like you wanted to teach him a lesson, but wouldn't it be a good thing to burn his wife?" Yun Mei asked strangely, "Could it be that he is satisfied with having more wives, so he doesn't make trouble anymore?"

(End of this chapter)