Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 3 The House of the Savior (3)
I said: "No matter what happens, we must remain calm, and you will know if you are calm." While talking, I walked downstairs, and when I looked at the door, I was also stunned, only to see a group of people coming from the village.Reddy Gaga was sitting at the door happily watching the excitement.

It is not strange to have people walking on the road, nor is it strange to walk in a group of people, but it is strange to see a group of mourning people in plain clothes and playing dirge music.

A little boy walking at the beginning was dressed in sackcloth and mourning, holding a photo frame in his hand. A flower was tied on the photo frame with white paper. Anyone with a discerning eye could understand that it was a posthumous photo.

Behind the little man, there were four men carrying a coffin, and behind that were a few weeping men and women in plain clothes, and a group of villagers with heavy faces.

As soon as I recognized the woman walking in the front, it was the one whose husband died in a fight with someone a few days ago.

This is for a funeral.

This team has come very close, and it looks like they are coming towards my small second floor. When I was a child, I heard from my grandma that many villages have traditions. Every family has to give red envelopes for weddings and weddings. I saw them stop me Loukou, I thought in my heart that this is to ask for money.

The woman's voice combined with the mourning and joy is very contagious. I walked over to shake hands with those people who were dressed in sackcloth and filial piety and plain clothes, and said, "My condolences, my condolences."

Those people shook hands with me very excitedly.

Walking past the coffin, I smelled a rancid smell similar to the one in my refrigerator. It seemed that the corpse was already smelly. I patted the coffin and said, "It's a hot day, comrade, you have suffered."

As soon as these words came out, the widow cried even more sadly.A villager next to him said: "The body has been kept in the yard since the police station finished the autopsy. This case will not be solved for a day, and Wu Xiang will not die with peace of mind."

The widow cried and said: "With Lao Wu guarding the gate for me, those bastards will never enter my house and demolish my house."

I said, "The Public Security Bureau has finished examining all the injuries, just wait for the higher-ups to issue a verdict."

"You don't know..." the villager said, "The father of the young man who killed Old Wu..." He lowered his voice, "It's Wang Gang!"

I asked, "Who is Wang Gang?"

"It's an official in the city." The villager said, "This matter, the water is deep."

Another villager angrily recited a poem: "Peach Blossom Pond is thousands of feet deep, it's not as good as my father is Wang Gang!"

I sighed, and asked again: "Didn't you say it was kept at the gate of the courtyard? Why did you carry it out today?"

The widow sobbed: "Today is... the first seven..."

"Oh." I replied half-understood, wondering what customs there should be in this village.Then I saw the four coffin bearers who were about to put the coffin on the ground. No one wanted to see the coffin put on the door of their house. Patronizing on studying knowledge and not having time to make money, he ended up taking out the five yuan left over from buying cigarettes last time.

Everyone was staring at me, I took the five dollars and turned around and asked Reddy Gaga: "Do you have any money?"

Originally, I thought Reddy would quack me and say no, so I could just push the boat along and say I’m sorry I don’t have any cash on me, or I’ll withdraw the money and give it to you some other day. Basically, some people with conscience would say it’s okay and don’t worry, then I can push it off another day. Go to NO.30 in February.

Unexpectedly, Reddy Gaga said: "I have money!" Then he stretched out his hand and took out five red notes from his pocket.

Seeing so much money, my legs softened: "Where did you get the money?"

Reddy Gaga grinned: "San Niang gave me money to buy things, and every time she gave me a whole piece of money, she didn't want the rest of the money. Next time I'll buy it with change, and save the whole thing." stand up."

I looked at the head of Chairman Mao in his hand, and then at the five yuan in my own hand, with mixed feelings in my heart.This is life and this is the gap, who said Reddy is stupid, he also knows how to manage money!
I took the money from Reddy Gaga, gave one to the widow, patted her on the shoulder and said, "Congratulations." Then I put the remaining four back into my pocket.

The widow tearfully accepted the money, and Reddy quacked, "My money!"

I said, "What is it called? It's a good deed, and it will accumulate virtue for you."

Reddy Gaga pointed at me again and said, "Then you took..."

I said, "This is to keep it for your good deeds in the future." Then I patted Reddy Gaga on the shoulder and said to him, "Tell Sanniang that she will come to me when you buy things in the future, and you just play." That's it, don't waste your playing time running errands."

"Oh." Reddy Gaga thought for a long time and finally figured it out, and said to me, "You are so kind."

While Reddy Gaga and I were talking, those people had already swelled and put the coffin on the ground.

I groaned in my heart, if I had known that they would release the money after they took it, I would not have given it to them, so I immediately said: "Don't waste time, the dead are the worst, it is not easy for you to carry the coffin, so hurry up wherever you want to go .”

One of the people who carried the coffin said, "I'm not going, this is the end point of our journey."

This is the end?
I looked back at my small second floor, then looked at them, and asked, "Don't you want to bury him at the door of my house? That's not possible, this is my territory now."

The widow cried again: "No...it's not..." A big man in black next to me said to me: "Little brother, it's like this, today is my brother's first seven, can we put this corpse in your Store it in the house for a day?"

This is ridiculous. I have heard of storing bags and storing clothes but not storing corpses. I stretched out my hand and pointed forward and said, "There is a funeral home in the city. You can store it there."

The big man seemed to know that his request was too much, looked around, sighed and said: "Oh, forget it." Then he waved his hand and said to the coffin bearers: "Carry it back."

The person next to him asked with a worried face: "Take it back? That night..."

"This house is full of people, so it's not appropriate for us to let it go." The big man said, "In the past few years, the dead in the village have been taken to the city to be cremated. If nothing like that happens again, maybe my brother won't come back this time. .”

Why did I hear what he said so strangely.

Before the big man left, he frowned and said to me: "For safety, brother, you should sleep tonight and close the doors and windows." He paused, and said to me in a low voice, "Don't open the door when you hear someone knocking."

Those people picked up the coffin again, played the mourning music again, and walked back in a mighty way.

Reddy asked strangely: "What are these people doing here?"

I watched their backs thinking about the last sentence that the big man said, and the more I thought about it, the more panicked I became.

tonight?what will happen tonight
I have no other choice, I thought, for the sake of safety, it seems that I have to go to Sanniang to hide at night.

At night, I happily went to Sanniang's room.

I didn’t see how Sanniang’s room was decorated. The furniture in the room seemed to be conjured out of thin air. I especially admire the decoration on her wall. The large piece of painting is abstract and very artistic. I haven’t understood the mess after looking at it for a long time Weird symbols are meant to express something.

Sanniang seldom turns on the lights at night, and put a candlestick in the room, either lighting candles or not having a little light to directly bask in the moonlight. It is said that this moonlight bath is very good for goblin cultivation. Every time I see Sanniang basking in the moonlight, I It's very fortunate that she is a fox demon and not a wolf demon, otherwise no one can sleep well when she howls at night.

The incense burner was lit in the house, and the green smoke curled up in the candlelight.

I have always felt that Sanniang and I have a common language, and now it seems that there is one more thing in this common language - we both like cigarettes!
When I went in, Sanniang was wearing a cheongsam with gold silk and red flowers on a purple background and was leaning on the mahogany couch. She had a curvy figure, and the slits were just right to reveal her snow-white thighs. A little more exposed would be slutty, and a little less conservative, sexy. But stayed a little dignified.Cheongsam is the most suitable for Chinese women, and it is also the most attractive, but this vixen looks the best in it.

"Brother Ma, what's the matter with you?" Sanniang looked over with winking eyes, her hair was tied back, her face was unpainted, but it was so seductive, I really wanted to put those things indiscriminately The person whose mother couldn't recognize the PS photo pulled over to let them see what a natural, environmentally friendly, green, pure, natural and pollution-free beauty is.

This situation made my heart flutter, and I sat shyly beside Sanniang, saying: "Sanniang, you have helped me a lot these days, I want to thank you."

"Help you?" Sanniang smiled sweetly, "How can I?"

Even if she denies it, the matter is obvious. Whether it is intentional or not, she has helped me a lot recently.When I was at a loss, it was often Sanniang who spoke to me and made me suddenly realize.Of course, other people have done this, but in terms of the price-performance ratio of appearance and work level, no one can compare with Sanniang.

"Actually, I also understand that you are a vixen with talent and good looks, and you won't help me so much in vain." I said, "Now I also see it. Every ghost in the small second floor has a past. You If there is anything you need to help with, say it out, and we will figure out a solution together, even if there are more than one person, there are more than one helpers."

Sanniang was taken aback, looked at me for a while, and said with a smile: "Brother Ma, you are a good person. But my favor is not something you can do if you want."

I said, "You have to decide whether to help or not. I'm much better than you imagined."

There was a trace of bitterness on Sanniang's face, that expression disappeared in a flash, and immediately changed back to the original expression, narrowing her winking eyes, and said with a coquettish smile: "Brother Ma, I can solve my problems myself, you You should worry about yourself..." In the middle of speaking, she suddenly straightened up and yelled at the window: "Who is it!"

I looked in the direction and saw a black shadow flash past the window.

"It's you!" Sanniang yelled at the window, then opened the window and turned into a fox, and jumped out.

"San Niang?" I stretched my head to look, and under the moonlight, there was a person running quickly into the distance, and San Niang, who turned into a fox shape, followed with her vigorous limbs.

"Could it be a thief again?" I stretched out my head and looked around in doubt. Looking at Sanniang's imposing appearance, I knew that our strength was an overwhelming victory. The person who came to my small second floor was the bloody bad luck of the thief who didn't have eyesight for a hundred and eight lifetimes.

That person and the fox ran farther and farther away, and gradually disappeared.

It was night now, the moon and stars were sparse, and there was no one around. I thought Sanniang would not be able to come back for a while, so I planned to go back to my room.

After taking two steps, I suddenly heard two clicks outside the window.

Just now, I have seen that there is no one around, why is there someone knocking on the door now.

I suddenly remembered what the strong man had said during the day, and I felt palpitations, and the tiger's body shook. I turned my head to look, and saw a cloud of black mist appearing at the window, vaguely forming a human shape.

It's fog again!My heart skipped a beat, could it be that Bai Wu's life-changer from before came to my door!

The black mist-like human figure began to crawl towards my room along the window, and the fog on its body gradually faded, and the human figure became more and more obvious.

I still want to climb in!I stepped back in two steps, and punched the fog's head, which actually hit the entity.Hearing the sound of "Oops", the fog fell from the window. I took advantage of the victory to pursue, squatted down and beat wildly, and scattered the fog with a few punches, revealing the real form hidden in the fog—— It's the Taoist priest with the black beard!The black-bearded Taoist yelled, and covered his face with his hand and said, "Don't hit me, don't hit me!"

I raised my fist and said, "Well, it's you who wanted to harm me!"

Blackbeard said: "I am your second master, how could I harm you, I came here to save you."

I asked strangely: "Help me?"

Blackbeard said, "Put your fist down first."

I said: "Please explain to me first, and save me why you turned into a black mist and sneaked in."

Blackbeard sighed and said, "It's not to avoid that vixen in your house." After finishing speaking, he took out a gourd from his bosom, and said, "I took her younger brother, she always wanted to avenge me, take her Rescue my brother."

I said, "Who was that person who ran away just now?"

"That's the wooden man I made." The black beard old man patted his Taoist robe and stood up, took out a wooden man with a talisman on it from his arms, threw it on the ground, and the wooden man turned into a man exactly like Black Beard.

The black-bearded old man said to the wooden man, "Go and close the window." The black-bearded wooden man ran to close the window, then changed back to its original size and fell to the ground, and the black-bearded old man said, "This wooden man can become mine. She seemed to carry out an order, and that vixen thought that I didn’t know if I was applying secret fragrance on my body. How could the poor and powerful not detect it, and instead took her into the army.” He stroked his beard triumphantly, and said with a smile, “Hahaha Haha, now she won't come back for a while."

I couldn't see that the black beard was really capable, so I said, "You keep saying that you are amazing, why do you see her dodging like a mouse seeing a cat."

The black-bearded Taoist glanced at me, shook the gourd in his hand, and sighed: "The tiger fell in Pingyang and was bullied by dogs. If I hadn't taken this nine-tailed white fox and lost my vitality, I would have taken that vixen away."

I said, "That's not okay."

The black-bearded Taoist looked at me meaningfully and said, "One day you will regret it."

I said: "Don't talk about this first, you keep asking me to worship you as the second master, but I don't even know your name."

The black-bearded Taoist priest said: "Remember, your master's name is Zhang Chongyang! I'm his younger brother, and my name is Li Botong!"

"..." I said, "Is this a stage name?"

Li Botong thought for a while and said happily, "You can just call me Master Li from now on."

"Okay." I said, "Then Uncle Li, you said you were going to save me. What are you saving me for?"

Li Botong was about to answer, when suddenly his expression changed, and he said, "Here we come!"

Almost at the same time, I heard a regular 'tom tom tom' knock on the door.

Hearing the knock on the door, my first thought was that Sanniang was back.Just as I was about to open the door, the words of the strong man during the day flashed through my mind like 'Don't open the door when you hear someone knock! '

Thinking of this, I felt trembling in my heart, and turned to look at Li Botong. The Taoist priest looked serious, leaned forward slightly, and listened to the knock on the door.

Seeing his serious expression, I felt a chill in my heart, and asked tentatively, "Shall I open the door?"

Li Botong seemed to want to stop me, his hand was already in the air, but he rolled his eyes, waved to me and said, "Go."

When he said this, I felt relieved and shouted as he walked, "Here we come."

But after walking a few steps, I always felt something was wrong.

Li Botong followed behind me. The man next to the vase immediately hid in the vase as soon as he saw him. The hanged ghost floated down from the second floor with his head stretched out, and said as he floated, "Sui knock on the door?" Taoist priest, don't go out!" Then he pulled her back to the second floor.

I thought they could help me with something, but they all hid when they saw this Taoist priest.

What's so scary about this black beard?

I walked to the door alone and put my hand on the doorknob. The knock was still ringing!Tom!Tom!The sound, one rise and one fall, is very regular.

Sanniang didn't knock on the door in this style, she was usually irregular, knocking and calling coquettishly, "Brother Ma, open the door."

No, even if it wasn't Sanniang, normal people wouldn't knock on the door so regularly, like a machine.

It doesn't look like a person, what is outside?
Tom!Tom!Tom!Tom!Tom!Tom!
As I was thinking, the knock on the door suddenly became more intense. The person outside knocked hard on the door, and the door panel vibrated violently. The person outside knocked on the door so hard that my hands were numb.

"Knock what knock!" I roared, and the sound of knocking on the door stopped abruptly.

I listened for a long time, but there was no movement outside. I turned my head and saw Li Botong standing at the door looking at me with a look of fun.

With a heartbroken heart, I opened the door in one breath...a small crack.

(End of this chapter)