Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 30 Mutation (1)
When that person fell down, we called out her name in unison: "Yunmei!"

It was the first time I saw the ghost on the second floor suffer such a serious injury, so I quickly carried her to the bed in my room.

Yun Mei looked very painful, clutching her chest and curled up on the bed, shaking violently, clenching her teeth, panting heavily.

"Yunmei! Yunmei!" The hanged ghost went around in a circle anxiously, "How can this be so?"

The man was startled and said repeatedly: "God! Who hurt Yunmei like this?" The little ghost held Yunmei's hand sadly, and yelled.

Pixiu in human form inspected Yunmei's body: "There is no external injury on her body."

"Could it be attacked by some expert with Taoism?" I said anxiously, "Then San Niang is also in danger! No, I have to go and see!" After finishing speaking, I ran out.

Pixiu grabbed my arm: "Wait a minute."

I said, "What are you waiting for? We can't wait any longer! Maybe it's Yunmei who was injured by that nagging person who changed his life. Something will happen to Sanniang and Lei Dijiaga later!"

Pixiu asked, "Do you really think so?"

I asked: "Is it this or what?" I pointed at Yunmei, "Yunmei has been beaten like this, the second floor is mine, and my woman is my woman! My woman cannot be bullied by outsiders! Whoever bullied me will take turns to shoot him to death!"

Pixiu let go, nodded and said, "Very good."

At this moment, Yunmei exhaled suddenly, and whispered: "Sanniang..."

I keenly caught this sentence, turned around and asked, "Where is San Niang? What's wrong?"

"Sanniang...Let us leave here within three days..."

"What kind of horse?" The hanged ghost asked strangely, "Is there any danger here?"

I asked, "What will happen if you don't leave?"

"She said today is a warning to me, if we don't leave..." Yun Mei took a long breath and said, "She will kill us all!"

what? !

We all froze on the spot, and the room fell into a deathly silence.

After a while, I picked my ears and asked, "What did you say?"

"She hurt me and said that if we didn't leave the small second floor within three days, she would show no mercy and kill us all. After she finished speaking, she took Lei Dijiaga and left."

The man said in disbelief: "Why would threemother say such things?"

The hanged ghost was so entangled that he almost twisted his tongue, and kept repeating: "Why is it always like this, why is it like this..."

Even the little ghost had a bewildered expression.

My heart was in a mess, and I said, "Don't get excited, calm down."

Pixiu said: "Didn't you just want to slap the person who killed and injured Yunmei with a brick?"

"Don't talk about it now." Speaking of this, I suddenly found that Pixiu's tone of voice was wrong, and I became alert, "You found out from the beginning that it was Sanniang who hurt Yunmei?"

Pixiu said: "She has no external injuries, and when she came back, she was well dressed and did not look like she had been through a fierce fight. So her injuries can only be mental. She is a demon, and it is not easy to manipulate her easily, so those who attacked her, Nine out of ten people are people she is familiar with. People who can attack people's spirits and are people she is familiar with, who else can there be except that vixen?"

"Help me stop the bleeding." Yun Mei said with a pale face: "Sanniang pierced my chest with her nails. I thought the wound would heal immediately, but who knew that the pain was getting worse and worse, and the blood was flowing. I can't stop, please help me." By the time of the last few words, she was already furious.

The hanged ghost said, "Yun Mei, you didn't bleed."

Yun Mei clutched her chest in pain, then raised her hand in front of us: "Look, there's so much, so much blood, don't you see it?"

I have heard about a story that a scientist in a certain country did an experiment, tied a blindfolded death row prisoner to a chair, and cut some skin on the death row prisoner's wrist with a razor blade, making him feel pain. Then tell the death row prisoner that he has cut his artery, and he will immediately bleed out to death.Then let the condemned prisoner listen to the sound of water dripping on the ground.In the end, the prisoner who mistakenly thought that his main artery had been cut was actually frightened to death by his own imagination, and the cause of death was blood loss.

The human body is very strange, but I didn't expect the devil to be the same.

In short, Yunmei is in this situation now.

I had no choice but to press on Yunmei's chest and said, "Yunmei, I have stopped the bleeding. I have the secret medicine I found from my master. Look, the wound has healed quickly."

Yunmei asked softly: "Really?"

I said, "Really, if you don't believe me, get up and have a look."

Yun Mei sat up, touched her chest and said, "It's really good."

Immediately, her face returned to color, and she regained her spirits.This series of changes made the other three ghosts dumbfounded.

Pixiu wondered: "I don't see how you can dispel the illusion."

I said, "I am prescribing the right medicine for the disease. Heart disease needs to be healed by heart medicine."

In fact, the main reason is that Sanniang didn't kill Yunmei, otherwise it would be impossible to break the illusion with just a few words.

Knowing this eased my mood a little.

The hanged ghost said: "Sanniang's prank is a bit too much."

I said: "Sanniang is obsessed with ghosts, why did she do such a thing on the spur of the moment, why did she take Leidi Gaga away, and if she wanted to take it, she had to take me away too! No, I have to go and exchange Lei Digaga. "

The little ghost hanged the ghost and the man nodded again and again.

I'm not happy. Do you nod your head to let Lei Di Ga Ga come back or to let me go?

"Being obsessed with ghosts? Impulsive?" Pai Yao sneered, "I'm afraid it has been planned for a long time."

"Why?" the man asked.

Pixiu said to Yunmei: "Is your key still there?"

Yun Mei searched her body for a while, then said, "It's gone."

"Take away the key, and take away Leidi Gaga." Pixiu said, "Her purpose is already obvious."

I understood right away: "The secret in the lock!"

Yun Mei asked: "But hasn't the secret been solved yet?"

"It's because she found that we can't unlock the secret in that lock." Pixiu said, "So she wants to take away the anonymous reincarnation Lei Di Ga Ga."

Because currently only Anonymous has unlocked the secret of the lock.

"San Niang..." Yun Mei said sadly, "Really want to kill us?"

Pixiu snorted and didn't answer, but with the degree of our master and servant's deep connection, I can tell from the sound of his snort that he is humming that we are not vigilant enough to Sanniang and now we have ended up like this, darling There is a kind of schadenfreude that does not listen to the old man's words and suffers in front of his eyes.

I was quite annoyed when I heard this, but Pixiu didn't show it on his face, so I couldn't attack him. The best word to describe this guy is Mensao.

I said, "Even now, I don't believe that Sanniang has bad intentions for me!"

The other ghosts asked in unison: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Ah... ah... ah?"

I said: "Because she has fallen in love with me a long time ago!"

They collectively cut a sound, but this sound was in unison, which made me realize that the kid can make other tones.

It's not easy either.

Hanged Guichou said: "Uncle Mary, do you think Sanniang will really kill us if we don't leave?"

Yun Mei said: "Just now she was very cruel to me."

I remembered what the old lady Cuiping said, "Maybe Sanniang is warning us that if we stay here, something serious will happen in three days, and it may have a bad influence on us."

The man asked, "Why does Sanniang know what happened?"

"Isn't that clear?" Pai Yao said, "It must have been caused by her, otherwise why would she steal the key and take Lei Di Ga Ga away?"

Yun Mei asked: "If we leave, what will happen to San Niang? Will there be any danger?"

"She hurt you, and you still think about her so much." The man nodded, "You are such an angel."

"Yeah." The hanged ghost nodded and said, "Yun Meisu is shit."

Yunmei looked at the hanged ghost sadly: "Why do I think you always speak a little strangely?"

I'm even more surprised how she heard it.

Last time, Sanniang and the others had two demons and one ghost. This time, the Nine-Tailed Fox, which is extremely powerful in combat, has been collected in the gourd by Li Botong. The reincarnated Lei Digaga has also become a fool. Sanniang has to deal with the thrilling situation last time alone. The situation is obviously not easy.

The hanged ghost said: "Sanniang must have her own intentions, she is not harming others, I just want to help Sanniang." Except for Pixiu, everyone else nodded repeatedly.

Even if Yunmei, who was attacked by Sanniang, wanted to help her, let's not say that we don't even know Sanniang's whereabouts now. As far as the combat effectiveness of us is concerned, the group will be wiped out by then.

Don't know if there is any help...wait!My mind suddenly lit up, Li Botong!
Although I always thought that Li Botong was lying to me, from Cuiping's mouth, I heard that this Taoist priest was able to take away the thousand-year-old Nine Tails. Obviously he still has two brushes.

The question is where is Li Botong?

Yunmei and I searched separately. We searched almost all the nearby stores in two days, but we still couldn't find Li Botong.

My uncle is always in front of people, but when I want to find him, I can't find him.

In a blink of an eye, the time set by Sanniang was about to come, and we on the second floor got together to discuss what to do. Wang Liang was worried about hanging himself, so he asked for a day off to accompany us.

After hearing what Cuiping told us, the others felt very thrilling.

"So, I should have an impression of what happened that night, why can't I remember anything?"

The hanged ghost said: "It's really strange, I don't have the slightest impression."

The kid also nodded beside him.

Yun Mei said: "Cui Ping is lying about this?"

I said: "If it's really a lie, it's too much a link between the past and the future, and it's reasonable."

Yun Mei thought for a while, and then said: "Could it be that the life-changer made up a story to let Cuiping lie to us?"

I said: "But I went to the riverside to see it in the past two days. There is indeed a thin crack in the ground there. Pixiu said that it was indeed cut by a magic knife. Afterwards, we asked the old villagers nearby that the crack appeared. The time is about the same as what Cuiping said, so there is a high probability that this matter is true."

The hanged ghost said: "Then Uncle Mary is leaving, so we don't have to. The last time I had sex with a man, I didn't have sex."

Wang Liang said, "Didn't you lose your memory? You don't even know what happened that night."

The hanged ghost said: "Short oil, just plain memories for a day, it won't affect the gods."

Wang Liang anxiously said: "Last time it was memory loss. What if something more serious happens this time? Don't you know how much I love you? What should I do if I lose you? If you have a What should I do? Please promise me that as long as I am alive, you will not say such cruel things to me. You will make my life worse than death. Because your current body is not yours alone. It belongs to the two of us, because..." He looked at the hanged ghost affectionately: "I love you."

The hanged ghost covered his face in embarrassment and said: "Liar, liar, I don't believe you, I have become like this." She touched her tongue sadly, "Do you still like me? You Don't you really care? I don't even want to have a body, if I die, I can be reincarnated into a more perfect appearance, more worthy of you, and no longer have such an illusory appearance."

Wang Liang pinched her tongue and said dotingly: "Don't talk nonsense."

The hanged ghost shook his head and shook off Wang Liang's hand.As he shook his head, his tongue twitched back and forth on Wang Liang's face a few times, and the hangman cried like rain: "I don't like this body... I want to touch you, I want to feel your body temperature , I think..."

Wang Liang wiped his flushed face, held the hanged ghost's tongue again to stop her from speaking, and then hugged the hanged ghost: "Okay, okay, we don't want this body if we don't like it, we don't want it, but Can you wait for me? When we grow old, when I die, we go to reincarnate together, even for me, please wait a little longer, okay?"

The man asked enviously: "Anyway, you don't want it anymore, can you give me your body?"

Wang Liang and the hanged ghost, who were hugging tightly, turned their heads together: "Go aside!"

Wang Liang continued: "If something happens to you now, I will die, my heart will be broken, my lungs will be broken, my liver will be broken, and my whole body will be broken into pieces. For you, broken, my whole body is broken, have you seen it?"

The hanged ghost caressed Wang Liang's face and sighed: "How can a broken puppet save a broken you?"

The man's head said: "Since it's all broken, give me the body."

Wang Liang and the hanged ghost said in unison again: "Get lost!"

The man hid his head depressed.

Wang Liang opened his mouth again, but I couldn't bear it any longer, and shouted, "Shut up, I'll fucking beat whoever you two talk to!"

My goosebumps were so spectacular that these two must have read a lot of works by romance masters such as "Love is Deep and Foggy" recently, so that they can talk about love like cold water poured down in August, and let the listeners feel spontaneous Feel cool inside.

Hearing what the hanged ghost said, Wang Liang's heart was broken, his lungs were broken, his liver was broken, and his whole body was broken into pieces.Listened to their conversation.My heart was cold, my lungs were cold, my liver was cold, and my whole body was frozen into pieces.

When talking about love, we must also pay attention to the occasion. It is still so nasty at such a critical time, is it reasonable!Is it plausible!

I coughed and said, "Let's talk about serious business."

Among these ghosts, Mantou and Yunmei are not restrained by this house, they can come and go freely, hanged ghosts die here, it is okay to leave for a short time, but there is a danger of their souls flying away after a long time, and they must be dismantled if they leave for a long time Take away the beam that hanged her.

The most troublesome thing is the little ghost. We dug holes outside the house, but still haven't found his bones.

This is troublesome. It seems that the gambler buried his bones under the house.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Pixiu translated: "He said we can leave him alone and go first."

"No," said Hanged Ghost, "I won't leave, even if I don't."

Yunmei said: "But I think if what Cuiping said is true, then Sanniang has her own intentions when she told us to evacuate. I don't know what the consequences will be if we stay here."

"What kind of talk is this," I said, "If you want to go together, it won't work if there is one more or one less."

"If this is the case, none of you will be able to leave." Pixiu said coldly.

I said, "Let's not go, let's stay here together and see what happens!"

Others agreed one after another, so we decided to let Wang Liang evacuate first, and the rest stayed here.

Before Wang Liang left, he got involved with the hanged ghost again, but finally left.

Thinking back later, although we were discussing in a serious manner at that time, because we were all people who had seen big storms, and because we knew Sanniang and didn't believe that she would harm us, we didn't have much sense of crisis about the things we were about to face.

To belittle the coming crisis was the biggest mistake we made at the time.

It was getting closer and closer to the time when Sanniang ordered us to leave, and the weather became more and more severe. During the day, the sky was still clear and there was no wind at all, but now the air was oppressive, the wind was strong, and the clouds were thick with clouds.What is especially strange is that the sky in the distance is still sunny, it seems that the weather changes are only here.

At dusk, there was even a sandstorm outside. Our place is surrounded by farmland. The sand came from nowhere, covering the sky and covering the ground, dyeing the nearby world yellow.The wind sounded like howling ghosts and wolves, and the sand with black seedlings in it hit the windows and doors, making a crackling sound.

"What the hell kind of weather is this?" the man said with his head bobbing anxiously.Even Pixiu came out of the jade pendant and crouched in human form.

When you don't know what will happen, the waiting time is the most anxious.

When we were anxious, Pai Yao suddenly asked, "Is there someone knocking on the door?"

Yun Mei said: "It must be the wind."

I listened carefully, and there was indeed a rapid knock on the door. At first, the sound was covered by the wind, and then it became louder and louder, almost to the point of deafening.

The hanged ghost yelled: "It's terrible to roar, the ghost is knocking on the door!"

I said angrily: "You are a ghost, why are you afraid of the devil! He comes in and you strangle him with your tongue!"

The door I had secured not long ago was knocked violently, and it was about to be knocked down, so I ran over, winked at the hanged ghost, and then pulled the door open.

The person outside the door stepped in without thinking, and at the same time, the hanged ghost's tongue wrapped around the person's neck like a snake.

"It's a ghost! Tongue!" The man cried even louder.

I took a closer look at the man's face, and I was even more annoyed: "Uncle Shi, you are a Taoist priest who is afraid of ghosts!"

Li Botong's usually neat clothes were messed up by the wind, his beard, eyebrows and hair were tangled together.

The hanged ghost drew back his tongue: "Bah, bah, it's all sand!"

Li Bo breathed out, "I haven't disliked your sticky tongue yet."

I said, "Master Uncle, where did you go? We have been looking for you for two days."

Li Botong said angrily: "It's such a time, why are you still here! Isn't this courting death? No one told you to leave?"

I said, "Sanniang told us to leave, but the little ghost's body can't be found, so we can't leave."

"That vixen told you guys? Why are you pretending to be kind!" Li Bo blushed in anger, "Isn't this the Yao'ezi she made!"

I was confused, Li Botong asked us if anyone told us what happened here, and said that Sanniang should not be the one who told us.

I said, "Then besides Sanniang, who else can tell us that there is danger here?"

Li Botong said: "Didn't the old horse keep a few guards here..." He suddenly frowned, and said: "It's broken, I can't find the breath of the guards!"

I was baffled by what I heard: "What property seller? This land is my inheritance. The real estate company has no right to intervene. If anyone comes, I will drive back." I paused and said, "But the sales lady can Leave."

Li Botong stomped anxiously: "It's this time, why are you talking nonsense to me. Those are left by the old horse for you bastard to guard the building to protect your safety!"

I was taken aback: "Is it my bodyguard?"

Li Botong said: "They are much higher level than the bodyguards. Have you heard of the shadow guards? You just can't see them at ordinary times. When the master encounters a big problem, they will immediately jump out of the dark and surround the enemy with an order." That kind of armored force. The old horse left you that kind!"

What he said was awesome, but the more I listened, the more puzzled I became: "That's not right, why haven't I seen them before, so I didn't see anyone to protect me when I escaped from death a few times."

Li Botong asked: "Have you never heard any strange voice?"

"The voice of talking..." I thought for a while, and said, "Yes! When I first came to this house, I heard a woman talking to a group of children, and I heard it when I went into the mirror!"

"That's right." Li Bo said, "It's them!"

I said, "But I've never seen them."

Li Botong also sighed, "Strange, where did they go?"

Pixiu suddenly said calmly: "Talk, I'll go and rest for a while." Then walked into the little ghost's room together.

"Uncle, have you seen it?" I asked Li Botong.

(End of this chapter)