Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 31 Mutation (2)
"I can see it." Li Botong asked, "Have you seen it?"

The other ghosts nodded again and again: "I can see (roughly) coming."

All of us followed Pai Yao, peeping on the door of the storage room.

Pixiu seemed to notice something, turned his head suddenly, and we pulled our heads back together, and when he turned around, we stuck our heads out again.

Facing the bronze mirror we entered last time, Pixiu murmured to himself with a serious expression: "How do I get in here?" Then while muttering something in a low voice, he held the mirror frame with both hands and bumped his head against the mirror.

This mirror has now become an ordinary bronze mirror, and he definitely can't get in.When Pixiu hit it, it made a thumping sound.

The guy stopped and frowned and looked at the mirror for a while, then covered his head and bumped against the mirror a few more times, as if he was afraid that we would find out if he made a noise.

Yunmei is a kind person and has deep affection for the residents on the second floor. Seeing him self-abuse like this, she is very worried: "He won't smash my mirror, right? This style is no longer available for purchase."

The hanged ghost asked suspiciously: "I've always wondered, is Pixiu such a supernatural character?"

The kid shook his head slowly.

The man's head summed it up very sharply, and hit the nail on the head: "It's Mensao."

"I think Pixiu is quite normal." Li Botong asked me in a low voice as he untied his beard and hair hanging together: "Those who are close to ink are black and those who are close to pigs are stupid, will they become stupid after staying in your small second floor for a long time?" ?”

You look at yourself first, you have the nerve to talk about others like this!I didn't even bother to answer him, so I turned my head and continued to look at Pixiu.

When I saw him walking with the same hands and feet just now, I thought it was wrong, but now it seems that he really knows where my shadow guard is.

Pixiu looked at the mirror for a long time, sighed: "It's the only way." After finishing speaking, he lifted the mirror with both hands, as if he was going to throw it on the ground.

"The strong men show mercy!" Yun Mei couldn't bear it anymore, she jumped out immediately and shouted, "Don't!"

Pixiu froze.We hurriedly ran out to surround him.

I said, "Pixiu! You are already surrounded, quickly put down the mirror in your hand, or Li Botong will release the talisman."

Pixiu put down the mirror expressionlessly.

I said, "Be lenient when you confess, and strict when you resist. Please be honest."

Pixiu said: "The first time I entered the mirror, I saw that female ghost and several children. At that time, they were following the horsemanship and wanted to grab him. Then I fought fiercely with them, and finally subdued them. They were trapped in the mirror, and Ma Shu and Yunmei had already gone back, so I was trapped in the mirror and did not come out."

Li Botong said: "So you were the one who trapped them in the mirror. No wonder I can't feel their breath. Didn't they say anything to you?" Yun Mei quickly ran into the mirror to find the gatekeepers.

Pixiu said: "They just said one sentence: 'Stop...don't...we are the gatekeepers...ah!!!'"

Li Bo breathed out, "It's just one word short, can't you let him finish it?"

I said: "Uncle Shi, I can understand this. Since I bought a second-hand 12-inch black and white small TV from the village, he has become obsessed with watching football, and he has a patriotic heart, so as long as he hears Football-related things will go berserk, I think you understand this stuff."

Li Botong was stunned for a while, then sighed: "Hey, I can't blame him, God's will, God's will."

By this time Yunmei had come out, and I asked, "Did you find it?"

Yun Mei nodded: "They are right behind."

I've heard that female ghost's voice before, and it's very nice. According to the inevitable law of the development of the story, she must be a beautiful ghost.

"Look," Li Botong said to me in a passionate tone, "this is your shadow guard."

The hanged ghost let out a wow excitedly, and asked Yunmei: "Is it really Su Ying, I've never seen it before, how is it?"

Yun Mei hesitated for a while, and answered with a slightly embarrassed smile: "There are a lot of people."

The man shouted: "No! It's perfect! Handsome!"

My blood was racing with what they were saying, and I was staring straight into the mirror.

At this time, the leading female ghost came out. According to human calculations, she was about 40 years old, with big waves, and a very... plump body.

Followed by a group of little ghosts like a hen with chicks, each wearing a little yellow hat and wearing the same clothes, Xiong Jiu came out in high spirits.

In the narration, there is also a kid shouting slogan: "One two one, one two one, stand~~definite!"

The front stood still, and the back was piled up in a pile. There was a child crying over there: "Teacher, he stepped on me."

The middle-aged female ghost in front came over and said, "Stop arguing, stop arguing, hurry up and line up."

Our side was silent.

The little ghosts quarreled for a long time before they calmed down. The middle-aged female ghost pointed at me and said, "Quickly say hello."

The little ghosts bowed in unison, and called out in a drawn out voice, "Hello, teacher."

I pointed at them and asked Li Botong, "Shadow guards?"

Li Botong said: "These are all brought by the old horse. I have never seen them before. Don't look at them like this. The old horse must be a selected special group of people. This group of people is not simple."

The middle-aged female ghost explained: "We have been silently guarding the horsepower technique. When we saw him enter the mirror that day, we wanted to go in and inform him that it was dangerous, but we didn't expect to be sealed by Pixiu."

The hanged ghost asked those ghosts: "What the hell are you so swollen?"

The middle-aged female ghost said: "We are teachers and students in elementary school. When the children made up classes on weekends, the school's teaching building that cut corners suddenly collapsed. Our class was unlucky and was crushed to death by the collective. Later, because there were too many people, we were temporarily unable to be reincarnated." Daoist Ma asked me to watch the gate for him.”

This is the selected special population?I looked at Li Botong again.

Li Botong paused, and said, "I still believe that there must be a reason for the old horse to find them, and they must have something special." He asked the children gently: "Do you have any specialties?"

"Special skills..." The middle-aged female teacher looked at the children hesitantly, "There are indeed..."

Li Botong said, "Then let's perform one."

"This..." Suddenly there was silence, and the female teacher looked at the children sadly.

"Teacher, I'm the class monitor and the student leader. I'll come first!" A little ghost with five stripes on his arm stood up first, "My specialty is poetry recitation, and now I will recite a poem for you. The name is "Ah! Teacher!"." He recited with emotion, "My teacher, she is a kind person..."

"..." I looked at Li Botong silently, and Li Botong silently lowered his head to tidy up his whisk.

I said: "No, teacher, our time is very urgent now, I have something to ask you." I pointed to my own little ghost and asked: "His ashes..."

With tears in her eyes, the female teacher interrupted me sharply: "Listen carefully! He is reciting with his soul!"

I said: "Huh?"

The female teacher said: "Daoist Ma was afraid that we would not be able to reincarnate after he died, so he made a deal with the King of Hades, because we are your shadow guards, so as long as we see you and perform our special skills for you, we can go to reincarnation, but We are now like family, and neither of us wants to leave."

"...Teacher, ah! Dear teacher! You are our mother!" The male student recited, and as he recited, his body became more and more transparent. When he read the last sentence, his body was completely transparent, leaving only an outline.

"Xiao Ming!" cried the female teacher while shedding tears, "You are a good student!"

"Wang Xiaoming!" cried the students, "You are our idol!"

"Teacher, students." Xiao Ming burst into tears, "I'll go to reincarnation first! If there is an afterlife, we will continue to be together!"

A student wanted to pull him, but was stopped by others: "Don't pull, let the leader go first!"

"Goodbye, I will miss you all." After saying that, Xiaoming with five stripes disappeared.

"Xiao Ming!" The rest of the teachers and students cried together.

"..." I looked at Li Botong.

Li Botong's face had completely collapsed, and he said, "Well... I just want them to perform, who knows it will turn out like this."

I comforted the teacher and said, "Don't be sad. Ghost reincarnation is a good thing. Xiao Ming is a famous student. I often used his name in sentences when I was young. He has made great contributions to Chinese language education. The Chinese people will definitely remember him!"

At this time, the students stepped out of a four-stripe line and said: "As the deputy monitor, my specialty is learning the names of animals..."

I quickly said, "No need, no need."

Who knew that just as he was talking, the four lines had already been called out: "Wow, woof, woof..."

Following his cry, the figure of the four-striped bars became fainter and fainter, and it was about to disappear.

Fuck me, is this the end of the show?This specialty is too short!You should at least imitate a few more animals!

"Xiaoqiang!" cried the female teacher while shedding tears, "You are a good student!"

"Li Qiang!" the students cried and shouted, "You are our idol!"

"Teacher, students." Xiaoqiang burst into tears, "I will always remember you! If there is an afterlife, we will continue to be together!"

Xiaoqiang with four stripes disappeared.

"Xiaoqiang! Xiaoqiang!" The remaining teachers and students cried together.Apart from Li Botong and me, the ghosts also had tears in their eyes, and even Pixiu wiped his eyes with his hands.

The entanglement in my heart, what is it all about, why did it happen all of a sudden.

I comforted the teacher and said: "Don't be sad... Ghost reincarnation is a good thing. Li Qiang is also a celebrity. Most people will always meet someone named Li Qiang in their lifetime. He has made a lot of contributions to the cause of naming in China. The Chinese people will certainly Remember him!"

"Do you still want to watch?" The female teacher was hoarse from crying, and asked me with swollen eyes. There was a three-striped bar next to her ready to move.

I hurriedly grabbed the three bars: "Don't look at it, don't look at it!"

Nima, this is still my shadow guard, and I lost two of them before I started to deal with the evil forces!

And besides allowing them to die early and reincarnate early, what is the use of these specialties?

I looked at my shadow guards, and my heart was filled with sorrow. These sorrows were like nuclear fuel leaked from Japan, flowing endlessly into the sea in my heart.

I said, "Teacher, take a look at this kid on our side first, take a look at him, do you know where his ashes are?"

The teacher wiped away tears, looked at the little ghost, and said, "I heard from Taoist Ma that the child's ashes are under the house, and the house must be demolished before they can be taken out."

Well, it seems that there is no way to escape.

Fortunately, we have already made psychological preparations before, even if we hear this now, we will not be disappointed.

At this time Yun Mei suddenly asked: "It's strange, the wind outside seems to have stopped."

We listened carefully, and sure enough, there was no wind outside.

And it wasn't just the wind, there was no other sound at all.

I hurried to the door, opened it, and saw that there was no wind outside, not in the ordinary sense, but that even the flow of air had disappeared, as if the whole world had been frozen.

The sky was dark and covered with dark clouds, but the clouds were as fixed and lifeless as a landscape painting with splashed ink.

"Over there!" The middle-aged female teacher shouted, pointing in a certain direction.

I saw a faint red light floating in the sky above the place she pointed at.

Except for the little ghost, we ran over quickly, and there was a small river near the village.Sanniang and Lei Digaga stood there.Lei Di Ga Ga stood with his back to us.

Seeing us coming, Sanniang stood in front of us with a fan and sighed, "You really didn't leave."

Pixiu roared: "Demon girl, what on earth are you trying to do!"

"Since you are a witch, you will definitely not do good deeds. If you don't run away if you are given a chance, then don't blame me for being ruthless." Sanniang said with a smile: "If you have the ability, come and accept me, otherwise, you will only die. "

Yun Mei shouted: "Leidi Gaga!" Then she stepped forward to pull Leidi Gaga.

Sanniang's figure flashed, blocking Yunmei's way: "Don't disturb him."

Yun Mei said angrily: "We got to know each other for a while, and you treat us like this?"

Sanniang's expression darkened, and she immediately changed her smile and said: "Yunmei, if you want to experience the feeling that life is worse than death again, I will never show mercy."

Yun Mei was trembling with anger, and two lines of hot tears flowed down her cheeks: "Sanniang, I have always regarded you as a good sister, but I didn't believe that you were serious when you beat me hard that day, so you really wanted to harm us! "

"I don't see you as one of my own." Sanniang turned her head to look at us, "I'll give you one last chance now, do you want to go, or not?"

I walked towards Lei Di Ga Ga, San Niang flipped her hand and pointed her fan at the center of my eyebrows: "Brother Ma, are you not afraid of death?"

I was so angry at the moment, I cursed: "You don't know how much I weigh? Stop talking nonsense, now you can either stab me to death or let me go."

When Sanniang's fan touched the skin on my forehead, the nails felt like iron.

I stand perfectly still!
Sanniang stared at me for a while and said, "Brother Ma, you have changed."

I said, "I've always been like this."

Sanniang bit her lip and thought for a while, put away her fan, stomped her feet and said, "The seal will be released soon, you can't stop it. Since you are determined to seek death now, I don't care about you." After finishing speaking, she turned around and did not stop I.

I breathed a sigh of relief, and ran to look in front of Lei Di Gaga, only to find that his eyes were dull, and he was muttering words. The lock was picked off by some unknown method, and it was floating in front of him together with the key, with a red light all over his body. .

This is definitely fascinated by Sanniang's illusion.

"Quack?" I went to pull him, "What are you doing?"

I didn't see how Lei Dijiaga moved, but I just couldn't catch him with my hands.

Seeing this, the surrounding ghosts all came to help me catch him, and even with my shadow guards, they formed a circle around Lei Dijiaga, but let alone caught him, they couldn't even touch him now.

"San Niang cast an illusion on him." Li Botong shouted: "He is not Lei Di Ga Ga now, but Anonymous!"

"Uncle!" I shouted, "Didn't you catch him last time? You come!"

"Can it be the same?" Li Botong exclaimed, "Last time he was a ghost, but this time he is a human being. I can catch ghosts, but I can't accept people!"

Just as we were talking, the condensed air suddenly began to flow, the ground trembled violently, and the narration river was boiling like boiling soup.

earthquake? !
I could barely stand, and seeing Lei Dijiaga couldn't stand anymore, I quickly reached out and grabbed him, and said, "What the hell did you do?"

Before Lei Dijiaga could answer, the Hanged Ghost pointed in the direction of the small second floor and called, "Uncle Mary, look!"

I saw gray sand not far away, 'Boom! 'Accompanied by a deafening sound, two huge black shadows rose from the ground, and the huge wind and waves hit like an invisible wave, bringing overwhelming air currents.

The head of the man who had no time to escape was even blown out, and the hanged ghost quickly wrapped his tongue around his face and brought him back.

"Be careful not to be blown away!" Pixiu yelled, changed back to his original form and stood in front, we quickly hid behind him.Lei Dijiaga was about to be blown away, but Yunmei and I grabbed him. We grabbed Leidigaga's upper body, and his legs flew in a straight line in the wind.

Sanniang threw the fan in her hand to the ground, and the fan became the size of a person, blocking her face.

After about ten minutes, the wind gradually weakened, and we dared to look up.

"Oh, mygod!" The man's head hovered in the air and shouted loudly: "What is this?"

I saw two huge stone lions standing upright under the dark sky.

What is strange is not only the size of this stone lion, but also the ordinary gatekeeper lions, all facing outwards, but these two stone lions, which are taller than the second floor, turned their backs to us, with their heads facing the direction of the second floor .

The man stared at the head for a while, and fell to the ground in fright: "This is the pair of lions guarding the gate I saw in the fog, but they were not so big at that time!"

I didn't observe the lion carefully in another time and space last time, but now I heard the man's head say this, and I looked closely, and it was indeed similar.

Yun Mei asked, "But why does the gatekeeper beast face inward?"

Pixiu said: "Their function is to suppress evil and keep the house safe. Wherever there are evil things, they will face them. They face outward to prevent evil things from invading the house. Now that they face inward, it naturally means that they are to suppress the dirty things in the house. !"

Pixiu's face turned serious: "It's such a big guard house, I don't know what's inside."

The hanged ghost said anxiously: "Oops, the kid is still inside." After saying that, he ran back.

Li Botong shouted: "There is a statue of my senior brother in the room, and there is a stone lion guarding the house outside, so nothing will happen for now! But if you don't come to help me, something will happen soon!"

He didn't know what he was holding on to with both hands, and the whisk was stuck behind him, dodging Sanniang's attack in a panic.

"Put the things down!" Sanniang shouted.

"How can I make you, a female fairy, happy!" Li Botong's steps were unsteady, but it wasn't just because of Sanniang's attack, but because the thing in his hand was trying to rush towards the small second floor, and even fell to the second floor for a few moments. Li Botong's feet were lifted off the ground.

The man's head was spinning around them anxiously but he didn't know who to help.

Yunmei and I were going to help Li Botong, but we were suddenly pulled away, and Lei Dijiaga, who was still muttering something just now, grabbed us tightly and said, "Don't hinder us."

Although these words came from Lei Di Ga Ga, the person who spoke was not Lei Di Ga Ga.Because his tone of voice and accent are very different.

Everyone speaks with his own characteristics, such as high or low pitch, thick and thin voice, language habits and emotional color, all these characteristics can constitute a "special" voice, and people use this characteristic to remember other people's voice of.

But the words that come out of Lei Di Ga Ga's mouth now have no characteristics at all!I have never heard such a voice in my life. He has no ups and downs, his voice is not high, but it is not low, it is not thick, but it is not thin. You can't even tell whether he is a male voice or a female voice.

Because this voice has no characteristics, there is no way to describe it!
It is useless to describe it with the phrase that no characteristic is the greatest characteristic.Because it is basically impossible to remember a voice that has no characteristics at all, even after he finished a sentence, I no longer know what his voice is like.

This is not Lei Di Ga Ga's original voice. The speaker has added special speaking skills to this voice. This is the voice of Anonymous!
Unknown's technique is very ingenious, he himself is a master of stealing and escaping, and he has a clear prediction of the movements of Yunmei and me.

Yun Mei and I couldn't shake off his hand no matter what, and we couldn't be cruel to him. We were in a hurry when we heard Li Botong fall to the ground with an oops. tripped.

So don't bring this kind of thing that shoots dust in the future, what else can you do except add trouble.I was so anxious that I shook off Leidi Gaga's hand, and his hand immediately circled back as if doing Tai Chi. This a few times, I was completely annoyed, I dragged him down to the ground along his arm, and then Taking off his coat to cover his head, he said to Yun Mei: "Don't show me face! Hit!" After speaking, he ran towards Li Botong, but it was too late.

(End of this chapter)