Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 32 Mutation (3)
At this moment, Sanniang had already jumped in front of Li Botong, and she was about to slap the fan on Li Botong's head. Li Botong subconsciously reached out to pick up the whisk on the ground, just as soon as he let go, a red light flew out from his right hand.

That thing is Lei Dijiaga's lock!
"Catch it!" Li Botong shouted.

San Niang shouted: "Don't move!"

I quickly stretched out my hand to reach it, but after all, I was still some distance away from that thing, and I watched it fly past not far in front of me.The lock flew straight to the huge stone sculpture in front of the small second floor, and was framed behind a stone lion.

At this time, Sanniang knocked off the key in Li Botong's left hand, and flew to the second floor.

"Catch, at least one!" Li Botong shouted, "We can't let them all fly away!"

The man shouted "Let me do it!" Then he shot out like an arrow, opened his mouth, and swallowed the key in one gulp.

"What?" Sanniang suddenly opened her eyes wide.

I clenched my hands into fists and exclaimed, "Good job!"

Li Botong jumped back to distance himself from Sanniang, looked up to the sky and smiled, and said, "Hahaha, vixen, I don't have the key, let's see what you can do!"

Sanniang looked solemn, clenched her fists, and looked at us angrily.

I asked, "What the hell is going on here?"

Li Bo said: "You should be able to guess something by looking at the two divine beasts facing your small second floor, right? I don't know what is the incredible thing in your building, but if The birth of those things will definitely cause chaos in the world. And this vixen wants to release those things to bring disaster to the world!"

"For the sake of harming the world?" Sanniang sneered, "I hate your false morality that doesn't distinguish between black and white. How many dirty things have you humans done? It's normal for you to eat us. If we eat you, we will drive our kind to extinction. Or lock us up in the zoo and treat us like objects. Now, you say we are doing harm to the world?"

Pixiu asked, "What do you want?"

San Niang said: "I just need to release my companion."

"You must know more about this place than I do." Li Bo said, "You don't know how dangerous this building is. If you do this, the consequences will be disastrous."

Sanniang said: "It's because of the danger that I can't let them stay here, otherwise..." She paused.

"Otherwise?" I asked, "Otherwise what?"

Just as Sanniang was about to speak, Yunmei suddenly called out: "Horsepower, look!"

The man's head was glowing red, and he was facing us, but his head was being carried by the key and kept floating towards the stone statue. He had already drifted halfway, and was separated from us by a long distance.

The man closed his mouth tightly for fear that the key would fall out when he opened his mouth, looked at us with a painful expression, and made whining sounds from time to time.

It is obviously too late to chase now.

Just when we were burning with anxiety, a loud voice suddenly came from a distance: "My specialty is playing football!"

Then, behind the man's head, a little boy in school uniform with glasses and a pair of sneakers appeared, kicking the man's head towards us vigorously.

I caught the head of the man whose seven orifices were bleeding from the kick, and I was very happy. This is the first time my shadow guard has played a role.

Seeing that the boy was about to disappear, I asked loudly, "What's your name?"

The boy with glasses turned around, put his hands in his pockets, and said coolly: "The teacher said that good deeds should not be left behind. My name is Xiao Ke, and my nickname is Nan Nan."

The glasses boy disappeared.

The man nodded, "What a cute boy..."

I immediately realized something was wrong, and asked the man: "How can you speak?"

The man said, "I was so excited just now that I swallowed the key."

My hand holding the man's head froze for a moment, and in the next second, I saw the key fall out from under the neck of the man's head, and flew towards the stone statue quickly.

This turning point came too fast, before all of us could react, the key had already been inserted into the back of another stone lion!
The edge of the huge stone statue glows red.Only two clicks were heard, and the key and lock embedded in the stone statue began to turn simultaneously.

No wonder the key can't open the lock. It turns out that the lock itself is a key!
As the two keys were turned, the earth made a loud noise, the river turned blood red, and ghosts were crying all around.

Li Botong shouted: "Oops, the gatekeeper stone statues already have cracks, if this continues, they won't last long!"

There seemed to be a film between the two huge stone statues, intermittent white light floated out of the film, floating in all directions under the dense dark clouds.

"There are so many ghosts sealed in this building!" Pai Yao asked Sanniang, "What is the origin of this house?"

Sanniang smiled: "What is this house, you should ask the person who built it."

"Currently, the cracks in the stone statue are not big and are protected by Zhang Tianshi's magic body. Those who have the ability to come out are all high-level monsters. If the cracks expand beyond control and these barriers are broken, I don't know what will happen! The consequences are disastrous!" Li Botong stomped his feet. Said: "I'll mend the crack!" After saying that, he rushed towards the small second floor.

I was about to follow Li Botong, when suddenly I staggered, looked down, and there was half a hand bone protruding from the ground, holding my foot tightly!

"Be careful!" Pixiu stepped on it with one paw, crushing the half of the hand bone.

Countless low-level evil spirits, white skeletons emerged from the ground, and the sound of brittle bones accompanied by the cries of fierce ghosts was creepy.

The air suddenly tightened, the shadow guards became visibly irritable, and the students huddled together.The man's head was floating in the sky, and he called out, "What's going on, I'm upset, why!"

Yunmei's eyes started to turn red, and she yelled at me: "Horsepower, you human beings can't bear the pressure here, so hurry up and run out with Quack." After that, she threw Leidi Quack to me.

I saw that Lei Dijiaga had been beaten with a bruised nose and a swollen face, and was already in a coma. It seemed that Yun Mei really didn't give me face by attacking her.

I shouted, "What about you?"

Pixiu said: "They are stronger than you, let's go, I will take you out first."

The words have come to this point, I can't stay here to drag others back, I threw Lei Dijiaga on Pixiu's back, turned over and rode on Pixiu and said: "Let's go!"

Pixiu jumped up and jumped towards the direction of the river.

I asked, "Why are you going this way?"

Pixiu said: "Last time Cuiping said that the exit is by the river."

I said, "What on earth is the second floor?"

"From the appearance," Pixiu said, "it should be a demon locking tower, but..."

"But?" I asked.

Pixiu said, "But there should be an exorcism spell near the demon-locking tower, and ghosts and ghosts cannot get close to it. Looking at it this way, it doesn't look like a demon-locking tower." He said to himself, "This is really strange."

"No matter what they are, no one can bear the waves of people coming out now." I looked at the skeletons and ghosts that kept emerging from the ground, and said, "The demonstrations are under the government's control. I call them Gou Fugui. Come." After speaking, he took out his whistle and blew.

"It's useless." Pai Yao said, "They can't get in."

Pixiu walked very fast, and we had already arrived at the river while we were talking, and the river was exactly as Cuiping said, rolling red blood, with blood clots and rotting corpses floating on it.

On the two sides with the river as the dividing line, where we are, there are hordes of ghouls, howling everywhere, but on the other side of the river is the bright moon hanging high, and it is peaceful.

Just cross over and you'll be saved!
Seeing that we had reached the river bank and were about to cross, Pixiu suddenly made a sharp turn and jumped to the side. I didn't expect his movement, and was thrown to the ground violently, with a handful of Pixiu's hair still in my hand.

"What are you doing?" I was puzzled.

At this time, I heard a booming sound from behind. A big tree near where we were standing just now collapsed.

"The spiritual pressure is getting messed up." Pixiu said, "The air pressure flowing at high speed is sharper than a knife. Do you remember what Cuiping said back then, that she saw her relative's severed limb in this river? That was cut off by this .”

After finishing speaking, he said to me: "Dangerous! Run to the right!"

Before I had time to stand up, I immediately rolled to the right. Almost at the same moment, a gust of wind blew across my side, and the river in front of me splashed, creating two layers of huge waves as if cut by a knife. The body parts and blood rained down on the shore.

My face is hot, like a heat wave.Blood and corpses fell all over my body, this thing disappeared without a trace, invisible to the naked eye, if it wasn't for Paixiu's reminder, I would have turned into a piece of meat now.

I got up and found that there was a severed hand on my back. When I pulled it away and threw it away, I felt that the weight was wrong. I looked again and found that it was not a severed hand, but there was another one behind it, no, it was half of the body!
Why do you say half?Because the body was cut across from the waist, and the intestines flowed out from the broken place and dragged behind.

After being thrown out by me, he crawled towards me with both hands supported, at an extremely fast speed.

I quickly kicked him on the head, kicked him into the river, and with a plop, the intestines sank with the body.

Pai Yao said: "I'll send Lei Di Qua Ga out first." After finishing speaking, he took Lei Di Qua Ga across the river.I responded and picked up a leg bone from the ground to defend myself.

Countless hands stretched out from the river, trying to pull Pixiu into the river, Pixiu let out a threatening growl: "Get out!"

Immediately those hands stretched back into the river, and the river became extremely calm.

But we all know that there is an undercurrent of crisis down there, and there are still countless eyes staring at Pixiu, trying to drag Lei Di Qua down!

Paixiu took Lei Digaga across the river, while looking at me from the corner of his eye, telling me the direction of the airflow.

I followed his instructions to avoid the Reiatsu. I was almost cut several times, my clothes were scratched a few times, and I didn’t have time to count the injuries on my body. In a blink of an eye, Pixiu was still crossing the river. It took half a day to reach the middle of the river.

I anxiously said by the river: "Can you do it, can you go there?"

"These monsters!" Pai Yao said angrily, "How dare you hit a wall in front of me!"

After finishing speaking, there was a roar, the sound was earth-shattering, a bloody water column exploded from the river surface, Pixiu jumped from the bloody water column to the bank.

"Good job!" I saw it with a smile, and said with a smile, "Blow up all the rotten fish and rotten shrimps in Hanoi!"

At this moment, another crash was heard, and a bloody man emerged from the river!Standing in front of me face to face with me!I was startled, and cursed: "I'm just talking, but you're really here!" After that, I poked a bone in my hand, and the bloody man fell straight into the river.

Pixiu shouted from the other side of the river: "Be careful!"

"Don't worry," I said, "the enemy has been wiped out."

Pixiu said: "I said be careful behind you!"

I turned around immediately, and saw a skeleton standing behind me, with the knife in my hand raised high.

It was too late to say it, and then I saw a small figure wearing a student uniform quickly inserted in front of me and the skeleton, it was my shadow guard.

The child was small in stature but had a big mouth. Standing in front of me, he said loudly, "My special skill is to swallow fists!" Then he opened his mouth and swallowed his own fist.

This action of his stunned us all, and the world suddenly became quiet.

I was about to scold, what trouble are you making at this time, but when I saw the skeleton man again, I was happy again.

The skeleton man opened his mouth wide and froze in place holding the knife. If he had skin and could make an expression, his face must be full of question marks.He must be guessing now what the meaning of this kid's action is, maybe he will think that the sentence "my special skill is to swallow fists" is a mantra and dare not act rashly for a while.

When it comes to this point, it's not about physical strength but information. He doesn't know that this student just wants to show off his stunts, but I know!

Taking advantage of the time when the skeleton was in a daze, I waved the bone in my hand, and as soon as the bone wheel passed by, the skeleton wheel fell apart.Until the skull fell to the ground, it still kept its mouth open in surprise.

The disappearing student asked me, "Did I help?"

I said, "It helped."

The student was very happy: "Actually, since I was three years old, I have been practicing fist swallowing for three hours a day. No matter how severe the cold is, the heat is hot, it is windy or rainy, I have never stopped. Give up." He cried excitedly, "Great, I will continue to practice fist swallowing in my next life."

Hey, why are you bothering, I sincerely said: "I advise you to choose other specialty exercises, even learning animal calls is more meaningful than this."

"I understand," said the student, "I'll continue to practice fist swallowing." Then he disappeared.

What do you understand?You understand that!
"Oops, horsepower." Pai Yao said anxiously on the other side: "I just got out of the barrier, so I can't get in!"

"What?" My heart went cold for a moment, now the skeletons are like spring leeks, they are cut off one after another, and they keep gushing out from the ground.I was single-handedly dodging spiritual pressure and attacking skeletons with my bare hands. After fighting for a long time, my physical strength was almost exhausted. Suddenly, I heard his words again, and my feet slipped. about to fall into the river.

He Zhong's hands were extremely excited, stretched out as neatly as Avalokitesvara, just waiting to grab me.

Just when I fell back towards the river under the force of gravity, my hand, which was waving a round wheel in the air, was grabbed by a jade hand.

"Brother Ma, why are you so careless." Sanniang gently pulled me up.

Suddenly being rescued by San Niang, I looked at her and asked, "Why did you save me?"

"Your life is mine." Sanniang blushed and said, "Only I can eat you."

I was taken aback, and stared at her seriously, trying to see what the goblin was thinking.I have never looked at a person so seriously, and the more I look at it, the more I feel that this goblin is so beautiful, and I also find that the scenery behind Sanniang is a bit distorted.

Reiatsu!

"Dangerous!" I yelled and quickly pushed Sanniang away.

The spiritual pressure passed in a flash.

I held Sanniang's shoulder, Sanniang looked at me, and I looked at Sanniang.

Sanniang's pretty face suddenly turned pale.

I said, "Don't be afraid, that thing has already escaped."

Sanniang's face turned even paler: "Brother Ma, your stomach..."

I looked down, and there was a big hole in my stomach, and the internal organs inside were still moving regularly.

I thought I escaped the spiritual pressure, but I didn't.

It's just that the thing flew so fast that it cut my stomach and I didn't realize it yet.

I didn't feel it just now, but now that I see it, I feel a chill in my stomach. The wind enters from my front and blows out from my back.

Pixiu kept bumping into the barrier: "Horsepower technique!" If the barrier had a shape, he would definitely smash it into pieces, but unfortunately he couldn't get in now.

I yelled and spit out a mouthful of blood.

Sanniang looked at me, lost her usual smile, and asked, "Brother Ma, what do you want to say?"

Pixiu shouted: "Demon girl, leave him!"

I said, "I'm sorry..." The rest of the words were intended to say that I didn't hide, but when I was about to leave my mouth, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my body.

I took two steps back, lost my strength, and fell straight into the river.

"Brother Ma!" Sanniang hurriedly stretched out her hand to pull me, but she still didn't have time to grab me, her hand was empty in front of my eyes.

Immediately, countless hands lurking in Hanoi replaced San Niang and dragged me into the river.

I sank deeper and deeper in the blood-red water, but at this moment my consciousness was still clear, with my eyes open, watching the severed limbs swarming towards me.A few heads gloated and said, "Hahahaha, another sb fell, and another sb fell!"

I wanted to scold them, but blood poured into the esophagus when I opened my mouth, and I could only make a gurgling sound. Hearing that sound, the stumps were even happier, they kept turning around me, pulling my limbs out Pulling, it seems to want to carve up my body.

I can feel my body being torn apart by them, but I don't feel any pain. Instead, I have a sense of stability in my mother's womb.At this time, when I saw those stumps again, I felt very happy. I felt that these severed limbs and mutilated corpses were all my compatriots, and it was right for them to take my body.

The more I thought about it, the happier I was. I turned my head and looked to my left. It was a woman with a head and a neck, but only half of a shoulder and a left hand were attached to the neck.I thought, this is my sister, so I said softly: "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..." I want to say you take it, I can give you all my body.

The woman froze for a moment and looked at me with wide eyes.

I think she understood what I meant, and said again: "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."

The woman let go of her hand, slapped me, and cursed: "Rogue!"

The man next to him with his chin half drawn asked her strangely: "Did you understand what he said?"

The woman said, "I don't understand."

The man said, "Then why did you hit him?"

Woman said: "My sixth sense tells me he's laughing at me for not having breasts!"

Your sixth sense is wrong!This is too bad!

Although the slap in the water was not very powerful, it also dampened my enthusiasm. I was about to defend myself when I suddenly felt pulling force coming from six directions on my body, and my body was about to be torn apart.

I treat them as my compatriots, but they don't treat me as my own at all. Dividing a corpse by five horses is already considered the ultimate, and they actually came from six directions!

I was very angry and wanted to yell at them, but I couldn't. My body has been pulled to the maximum by them. I can't see my body, but I can feel my body is like a blown balloon. Thinner and thinner, the limbs are stretched longer and longer.

With a final bang, my body was ripped apart by them, and the stumps that were pulling my body floated backward under the reaction force.

My head felt a lot lighter, and I was happy when I saw those severed limbs swarming towards me as if being sucked by something.

Not only them, but severed limbs in the distance also floated over.

What is this for?
I frantically pushed away a foot that was sticking to my face, only to see those severed limbs piled up in front of me, like a wall clogging up the river.

I stared at the wall dumbfounded, and then I couldn't help but utter a dirty word: "Wuru Nima!!!"

Then the wall came down on me with overwhelming momentum.

"Ahhhhh!" I screamed and opened my eyes, and looked at my body for the first time, all limbs were complete, my stomach was intact and there was no opening.As soon as I took a breath and thought that this dream was realistic, I realized something was wrong, the ground was shaking!

I quickly sat up, only to find that I was sitting in a small boat, and an old boatman was standing at the stern, wearing a coir raincoat and a straw hat, rowing slowly.

It was dark, and so was the river, so a lamp was hung on the bow of the boat, reflecting the dense red flowers on the river bank.

I asked, "Master, where is this?"

The old boatman said, "This is the Wangchuan River."

I groaned, thinking that the name of the river was quite foreign, and asked, "Why am I here, and where are the people with me?"

The old boatman continued to rock his boat without speaking.

I made fun of myself and saw that the flowers next to me were blooming beautifully, so I asked again, "What kind of flower is this?"

The old boatman said, "Manzhu Shahua."

(End of this chapter)