The world is so bad, so lucky to meet you

Chapter 14 Love without a sense of ritual will not last long

If you have not been loved before, you should cherish the person who loves you even more.Love is not war, the best relationship is to warm each other.Only by making yourself a good lover can you have the qualifications for happiness.

1
Some time ago, I interviewed a well-known wedding host in Chengdu. She said: "I have always advocated that weddings should have a sense of ceremony, showing our respect for inner emotions."

The word "sense of ritual" is particularly memorable to me.

What is the sense of ritual in love?It's a manifestation of the thought, energy, and effort you put into the relationship.

We always think, why are the feelings so unreliable now?Why do people's hearts change?It is because we pay less and less for love, and the cost of love is getting lower and lower. It is human nature that the less we pay, the easier it is to not cherish it, so we don't take a relationship that is something you get for nothing seriously.

When a boy falls in love with a girl, he directly asks, would you like to be my girlfriend?The girl shook her head.The boy immediately shifted his target, thinking to himself, I really don't know what is good or bad, I have a lot of love for women.Maybe just missed a good girl.

The girl wanted a gift during the festival, the boy said, isn't it just a broken festival, so why do you care so much?Too hypocritical!Maybe your girl has been cold hearted ever since.

When I met my parents for the first time, I went there empty-handed. The girl was a little upset, but the boy said, your family has a lot of scenes, and our family never pays attention to these.Maybe her parents think you are rude, so they don't agree with you.

A good marriage proposal ceremony, the boy stood there in a daze and said, marry me?Everyone booed him to kneel down, and the boy immediately became angry, as if it was a good idea to propose marriage, but to kneel down would trample on his self-esteem, and maybe his wife-to-be would be gone.

On the wedding anniversary, my wife wanted to have a candlelight dinner with red wine and steak.Husband said, you are a fucking child, why are you still messing around with these useless things?Maybe your relationship is getting weaker and weaker.

……

We are always rushing to fall in love, rush to get married, rush to have children, and rush to the progress of life, but we are unwilling to stop and spend a little time on managing a relationship.We always make countless excuses, "lazy", "busy" and "tired", we don't pay attention to each other's feelings, we don't express our feelings, and we don't want to spend time preparing. We condemn all these rituals that require heart as formalism , Throwing away the love that needs to be managed like a burden, we want to sit back and enjoy a love that does not require any sacrifice.

But the good memories we can recall are almost all related to the ceremony, the tension and joy of the two of you on the day of confession; The excitement at the time; the serious expression on your father's face when he handed you over to him, and the happiness in your heart...

It turns out that we need to express our love through rituals; it turns out that we need to use rituals to confirm that the other party loves us, and we both need such a sense of security.The unprecedented high devotion and emotional experience in the ceremony will leave us with sweet memories of love.

2
Someone wants to jump out and say, what you said is not true love, true love does not need rituals, the other party understands.

No one wants to be the lucky one who is stunned by love, and everyone longs for the affirmation and sweetness of love in their hearts.If you have a lot of love in your heart, but you never express it, how can your lover feel your love?Love is not something that can be understood with just a word or a look. People who love each other need to constantly affirm their position in each other's heart in this fickle world. Don't selfishly ignore the needs of your lover. It is ignorant to label them as incomprehensible guilt.

There is a saying that "people who don't want to spend money on you don't love you". It is also important to know that people who don't want to spend money on you don't love you much.We all have this kind of experience, no matter how much you toss for the person you like, you will not be tired, and if you don't love, you will be afraid of trouble.

I know a boy who has been married for five or six years. Every time he goes on a business trip, he brings gifts to his wife.I went to Hong Kong for a meeting and went to a duty-free shop to buy a bottle of my wife’s lotion. I went to Sanya on a business trip and packed a box of my wife’s favorite mangoes. I went to Phuket for a team trip and brought my wife body lotion... His gifts are not expensive but practical. .On the surface, it looks like a ceremony for him to bring gifts, but in fact he thinks about her wherever he goes, and what his wife often wants is this kind of concern.

There is a girl beside me who has been in love for three years and married for four years.I accompany her to choose her husband's birthday present every year.Every Valentine's Day, she will also prepare a gift. I said: Does he give you a gift on Valentine's Day?She said: I will send him off whether he sends me off or not. This is my heart.After getting married, she would ask me early on the wedding anniversary every year: Is there any new western restaurant?Is the environment good?What her husband repays her is that every Valentine's Day, birthday, wedding anniversary and other important days, no matter how busy he is, he will take time to spend with her.

There is also a boy who treats his wife as a honeymoon every time he travels. The rooms he booked are all romantic honeymoon rooms, even with open-air bathtubs.He would give his wife a hug every day after returning home, and he said: I can’t say I love her every day, but if I give her a hug every day, she can feel the love every day.He gave enough expressions of love to give her absolute confidence in their love.

Look, these people around you who love each other deeply are not troublesome at all.

3
If you like a girl, don't just say "drink more water", "dress more" and "bring an umbrella on rainy days" are all nonsense, act quickly to catch up, pick up who should be picked up, buy gifts if you should buy gifts, and accompany you to see a doctor Accompany you to see a doctor, confess your confession, and have the ritual of chasing and confessing, so that a girl can clearly know that you really like her.

The holidays are the best time for both parties to express their feelings. Girls don’t need a gift that can cost you a month’s salary to buy. You just need a small gift that you choose carefully and carefully. “Give a gift” like this A special ceremony can make her feel your sincerity more clearly.

Buying some gifts for each other's parents is a sign of sophistication, and it is also an expression of respect and filial piety for the elderly. "Meeting ceremony" makes others feel valued, and polite people are more likely to be accepted by the other's parents.

Kneeling down on one knee is a standard posture for marriage proposal, and adding a heartfelt "××, marry me" is definitely a nirvana. It is the moment when you can feel love the most. Become a happy moment in your memory for a lifetime.

Old couples need more communication and surprises. Even fathers and mothers have the right to enjoy romance and live a two-person world. Watching movies, candlelight dinners, or traveling for two are like giving each other a promise that I will still be with you keep going.

Don't give in to what we can do well, love doesn't give in.

The ordinary and busy life will always be tired, always bored, and always feel ignored. Behind every ritual demand, there is an uneasy heart hidden, and what I want is nothing more than an expression of love.

We celebrate festivals, propose marriages, take wedding photos, prepare for weddings, and celebrate anniversaries, all of which are one after another affirmation rituals we give to love, and we can feel that we are still loved by each other in these rituals one after another. , These rituals one after another make us feel more real and down-to-earth happiness, and these rituals one after another make us feel that we are willing to work for each other no matter how tired we are.The sense of ritual in love is a reassurance, a preservative, an emotional flavoring agent, and a sticker to relieve life fatigue.

There is no need for too expensive gifts, too luxurious lineup, too grand site layout, and no need for witnesses from all over the world.The ritual sense of love, maybe it’s just a kiss to her before going out in the morning, maybe it’s just a room decorated for her on her birthday, maybe it’s just a song she sang to her when she lost her memory, maybe it’s just her performance on stage. The bouquet of lilies presented may be just a small item she fancy a long time ago, or maybe it is just a big meal for her. This is unique and exclusive to her intentions, and she will definitely be touched by nature.

I don't need "everyday is Valentine's Day", I just need you to use snacks for me occasionally in the long life.

(End of this chapter)