90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 19 Polite words and deeds are direct and effective proof of identity (2)
(2) The voice should be loud when greeting.After meeting, the mentality of the other party is unpredictable, but a loud greeting may be able to mobilize the atmosphere and mood.If the voice is too low, even though the other party heard you, but did not hear clearly, he will ask "what did you say", and the original sincere greeting becomes an explanation, which is very embarrassing.And if the other party doesn't hear clearly and only sees your mouth muttering, they may mistakenly think that you are saying something unpleasant.Therefore, the voice of greetings should be loud and clear, and convey the enthusiasm from the heart to the other party in order to play a good role in communication.

(3) It is best to cooperate with body language when greeting.Look into the other person's eyes when greeting, and express your welcome clearly and honestly, which is also a form of respect.Smile, nod, such greetings can have the effect of expressing affection.A blunt and simple lip expression is sometimes a poor performance, but it will make the other party feel disrespected and perfunctory, so don't let the greeting become a procedural and a formality.

(4) Greetings should be concise and clear.Greetings and pleasantries should be simplified. After all, it is just a small etiquette at the beginning of meeting. There is no need to exaggerate, let alone to express kindness or inner importance.Greetings should not be too stylized, like reciting texts, otherwise it will appear artificial and hypocritical.

Grasp the different types of greetings
(1) Greeting type.The terms of greeting greetings are more complicated, and they can be summed up in the following categories:
①Express a polite greeting.Such as "hello", "good morning" and the like.The chatter can make different greetings according to different occasions, environments, and objects.For example, from the perspective of age, ask children: "How old are you?" or ask: "What grade are you in?" "Do you have class today?" Greetings to friends, neighbors, and colleagues are more abundant. If you use them well, you can get closer, enhance friendship, and make everyone think you are a kind woman.

② Greetings expressing longing.Such as "Long time no see, how are you doing?" and so on.

③ Greetings that show concern for the other party.Such as "How are you doing recently?" "How long have you been here? Are you still used to living here?"

④ Greetings that show a friendly attitude.Such as "how is business?", "what are you up to lately?" These seemingly questioning discourses do not mean that they really want to know the other party's daily life, but often only express the speaker's friendly attitude, and the listener takes it as a It is a means of communication to answer the initial words of the conversation, or to use it as a greeting without answering in detail.

(2) Talk about other types.For example, saying "the weather is nice today" when greeting each other is also a common way of greeting in daily life.Especially when strangers meet, it is difficult to find a topic for a while, so they will say something like "It's cold in the Northeast now", which can break the embarrassing situation.Talking to others is a better form of greeting when meeting someone for the first time.

(3) Touching the scene to create emotion.This is a greeting that is temporarily generated for a specific conversation scene.For example, what the other party has just done, what they are doing, and what they will do can all be used as a topic of greeting.Such as asking at home or on the road in the morning: "Good morning, are you going to work?" in the cafeteria: "Have you eaten yet?" This kind of greeting comes casually and is naturally appropriate.

(4) Praise type.Psychologists have made the following conclusions based on human nature: the simplest rule that can enable people to live a happy life in a peaceful state of mind is to give people praise.As a member of society, you need the affirmation and recognition of others, as well as the sincerity and praise of others.For example, if your colleague wears a new dress, you can say in a complimenting language: "Xiao Li, you look even more beautiful in this dress!"

(5) Climbing type.As the saying goes: Mountains do not turn, water turns.In interpersonal communication, as long as you pay attention to each other, it is not difficult to find that the two parties have various "relatives and friends" relationships, such as "fellows", "colleagues", "classmates", and even distant relatives.When meeting for the first time, greetings and acquaintance with a certain relationship immediately turn into an opportunity to establish contacts and develop friendships.For example, "Oh, you graduated from Peking University. Speaking of which, we are still alumni!" These examples show that in the process of communication, it is very important to be good at finding opportunities, discovering the common ground between the two parties, and getting close to each other emotionally.

(6) Admiration type.This is an expression of respect, admiration, enthusiasm and courtesy to those who meet for the first time, such as "I have admired your name for a long time!" "I have heard of you a long time ago!"

Temperamental women don't nag

She may have the most beautiful face in the whole world, but if she nags all day, endlessly, and picky, then her most beautiful face is equal to zero!A woman, once infected with nagging, will turn a man away, unless he is deaf!
There are some women who never seem to have a good time or a good time.No matter when and where, as long as you are with her, you will hear her complaining.The happy things were left behind by her, and the unhappy things were always talked about by her.Make yourself very restless, but also make others frightened.

Especially some older women.The passing of youth makes them feel sad and helpless. At the same time, the feeling of powerlessness in life and work also makes them anxious.However, their distress cannot be understood by others, such as husbands who have failed in their careers and children who are in the rebellious period.In this case, they can only attract people's attention by repeating their point of view until it becomes a habit.

A nagging woman, a nightmare for the whole family.Just imagine, when a tired husband comes home, he is caught up in clueless whining and moaning, and the last thing he wants to do at this time is to rush out of the house with his head covered.And young and lively children can't stand your nagging, even if they really love you, a lot of hormones will make them react more sadly to you.

If a bunch of nagging women get together, oh boy, it's the end of the world.Everyone is complaining, everyone is cursing, everyone is talking incoherently, screaming, laughing... If God hadn't been wearing earplugs, I'm afraid he would have jumped off the building too.

If a woman wants to maintain a lovely image, the most important thing is not to choose cosmetics or buy expensive jewelry, but to control her mouth.No man appreciates a nagging woman, and no young man respects a nagging woman's opinion.Even the nagging woman herself will generally not like another nagging woman, because nagging women generally only want to speak for themselves and do not want to be an audience at all.

Temperamental women generally don't nag, they are smart women, they are smart because they have such a cognition: things won't turn around because of my nagging, nagging will only arouse the other party's rebellion and make things worse worse.Also, nagging will also cause the other party's resentment and disgust, so I will not do things that are harmful but not beneficial.

So, if you want to be a popular woman, you must always alert yourself and never be a nagging woman.If you spend the nagging time on other beneficial things, maybe you can have unexpected gains.

Here are a few suggestions to help you change your nagging problem:
Don't repeat the same sentence more than once
Train yourself to say something once and forget about it.If you have to impatiently remind the other person six or seven times that the other person has promised to do something together.If the other party is already doing it now, you don't need to waste your time saying it a few more times.Nagging just makes him want to say no more.

Cultivate a sense of humor

A sense of humor will keep you in a good mood often.If you get mad at little things, you're going to have a nervous breakdown sooner or later.When some wives urge their husbands to take out the trash, they also get angry because their husbands are a little slow.So learn to treat unsatisfactory things in life with a tolerant and humorous attitude, instead of keeping a tense face all day long.Don't turn love into resentment for some trivial sesame seeds.

try to be gentle

A gentle approach is much more useful than a repetitive nagging approach.People like to be asked, not ordered.

"If you'd like to take out the trash, my dear, I'll bake you your favorite fruit pie." Or "My dear, you always trim our flowers and plants so neatly, the neighbors are very envious of me having you like this." Good husband."

Words like this will achieve the goal more easily than your nagging.

keep cool
Remember to stay calm when you are having trouble with someone.Don't keep nagging and complaining when unhappiness happens, but discuss these things when you calm down.

If it is a trivial matter, you must not bring it up again.If you think it's important, calmly talk to someone about it, and use mutual trust and cooperation to undo it with sanity and calm.

Please remember, you can't hold a man with nagging words, and you can't use emphasizing to order a stranger. The result of doing so will only destroy his spirit, arouse the resentment of others, and destroy your happiness.

Points lost in appearance can be made up through siblings

Not every woman is born beautiful, and the appearance of 90% of women in this world must be classified as ordinary.But among thousands of ordinary women, there will still be many dazzling people. These people use their beautiful manners to attract the attention of people around them in the first place.So, what a woman loses in appearance can be regained in posture and manner.

There used to be an actress who grew up in a simple country. When she came to Hollywood by chance, she became a charming new movie star.But this beautiful lady is not confident, because she has accepted some movies to play the noble lady.This troubled her very much, because she didn't know what aristocratic women were like.At first she tried to imitate the dress of noble women, but the effect was very bad, it felt like a rustic girl in other people's clothes.Later, she discovered that aristocratic women have their own way of dealing with others. They are polite to others, elegant and generous in words and deeds, and every action conforms to the etiquette norms.

The actress began to start with her movements and demeanor, walking dignifiedly, sitting up elegantly, and making herself as elegant as possible, and paying attention to her body movements.After a period of time, she found that her temperament has become much better, and she has also made great progress in acting.

There is no static "Sleeping Beauty" in the world, and the charm of women is fully displayed in every gesture.In order to be an attractive woman, the cultivation of manners is essential.Beautiful women should be beautiful in terms of standing, walking, sitting, eating, and dealing with others.Want to make yourself a flowing landscape?Then start with your every action.

Standing
Ladies should stand in T-steps, reflecting softness and lightness.When talking, face each other and keep a certain distance.Try to keep your body as straight as possible, not tilted.Standing against a wall, table or chair, with your legs too far apart or crossed, are all indecent and disrespectful behaviors.

Sometimes you can see someone crossing their hands on their chest or behind their back. Psychologically, these actions imply arrogance and resistance.

Some people stand there and always like to pinch something in their hands, like a girl with braids who always likes to grab her braids in her hands. These psychologically imply lack of confidence, shyness, and timidity.

Some people often stand askew, or shake their legs or feet, these are habitual and not graceful stances.

Sitting position
No matter where you sit, your head should be upright, your upper body should be slightly tilted forward, and your legs should be slightly close together.When sitting, keep your waist straight, keep your upper body upright, avoid small movements of your hands, keep your feet flat, and don't shake your feet.

Ladies need to keep their legs together and keep their thighs, knees and heels separate.

If you are sitting on a big sofa, don't sink deep into the sofa, or nest in the sofa, it will look lazy.The correct posture is to sit on 2/3 of the area of ​​the sofa. If it is a general swivel chair or an office chair, you can sit in all of it. At the same time, pay attention to keeping the waist straight to give people a feeling of confidence and energy.

Everything in moderation, of course.Don't be overly humble when taking a seat. If you sit with your buttocks a little bit, it will make people feel "shy and unconfident".

Some people either shake their legs after sitting down, or touch their hair, scratch their ears and scratch their cheeks, etc., all of which are indecent behaviors;

When taking a seat, the etiquette requirements are generally to take the seat from the left side of the seat, sit down gently, and move naturally, don't be careless and make loud noises.

walk
When walking, the steps should be steady and rhythmic, neither too big nor too small, neither too fast nor too slow, the route should be straight, the back should be straight, the head should be raised, and the body should be light and natural, so that the external image can better reflect the inner cultivation.

It is often seen that some people walk or twist their waists, or shake their buttocks, or look left and right, or take a "zigzag" route, or raise their legs high, or "eight"-shaped steps, or bend Keeping your waist down, these are not beautiful postures, and you must pay attention to correcting them.

Except in Hong Kong, UK, New Zealand and Japan, people usually walk on the right side.If you encounter pedestrians on the opposite side, you must yield to the right.The principle of avoidance is to give way to those who are empty-handed or who are holding things; in the same situation, please ask the elders, leaders, ladies, and children to go first.

In the process of walking, do not smoke, eat, whistle, arrange clothes, etc. at the same time.

When going out of the door, going up and down the elevator, and going up the stairs, the elders, leaders, and ladies should be invited first; when going down the stairs, the Western etiquette requirement is to invite the elders, venerables, and ladies to follow.This practice of going first and second when going up and down the stairs implies a protective meaning: if the elders, leaders or ladies step through the air, they can be supported in time.

When multiple people are walking, be careful not to walk side by side and occupy the road.

Behavior in daily life
Nod - This is the most commonly used polite gesture and is often used to greet others.When greeting with a nod, the person who nods should look at the other party with both eyes, with a slight smile on his face, and then turn to the other side when the other party expresses something.Nodding to say hello can also be used in large welcoming occasions. When there are many greeters or the distance is far away, nodding can be used to show respect, and nodding and waving can also be used together.

Shake hands - be natural, smile on your face, look at the other person, bend your body forward slightly, and use a tight grip. Generally speaking, a tighter grip means more friendly, or put the other hand on the back of the other person's hand Above, holding hands means more cordial.It should be noted: do not shake hands with others with your left hand, and do not shake hands with others while wearing gloves; do not be absent-minded and look around when shaking hands.In general, when a woman and a man shake hands, they extend their hand first.If you're too lazy to reach out, show respect with a nod or a slight bow.

Clapping - This is a polite way of expressing affection in social situations, such as approving or congratulating someone.In formal social occasions, when important people appear, wonderful speeches or performances end, people can use applause to express their respect and appreciation.Applause should usually be done aloud, but it's fine to just applaud silently, but let others see your action.The movement of clapping is to raise your hands to your chest and make a clapping sound, which should be louder.Sometimes you can see some people clapping their hands above their heads and clapping vigorously, which is also acceptable under special circumstances.For example, the position of the applause is very low or far away, or there are obstacles in front, etc., but in general it is best not to do this.

(End of this chapter)