90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 23 Communicate gently and show your infinite charm (2)
This friend had an idea, and started from his cousin and his own youth, talked about children's education with the client from the perspective of the younger generation, and told the client what the child might be thinking when parents educate their children.Soon, the friend made a good impression on customers with his energetic image and sold his first car.

Unify position and reduce exclusion

Psychological research has found that when you try to change a person, you must first stand on the same side with him in order to reduce the repulsion of the other person.Women have a natural gentleness and kindness. If you can grasp this, it will be more conducive to communicating with others.

Announce good news first and then worry
Psychological experts have found that people's ears will automatically filter the information they hear, and they all like to "listen to joy rather than worry".So when you're talking about something that might be unpleasant, try to find something good to cover it.A woman once told me the story of her daughter Xiaodi.Xiaodi, who was in middle school, accidentally broke the vacuum cleaner while cleaning at home. When the lady came home, her daughter came up and said: "Today, my classmate asked me to go shopping. I thought the room should be cleaned, so I didn't go. Cleaning until the end When I was in a room, the vacuum cleaner couldn’t work, so I wanted to fix it myself, but...” Facing a sensible daughter who knows how to help clean the house, even if she feels sorry for the scrapped vacuum cleaner, the mother shouldn’t get angry Bar.

Complimenting others is nourishing yourself
If you do not have a heart to appreciate others, it will be difficult to cultivate a peaceful and serene temperament. When you appreciate and praise the beauty of others, you will also be influenced by beauty.

"Aren't the salary conditions very good in this company, why are you always unhappy?"

"The boss is too reserved, no matter how hard I try to make the proposal, he is 'oh' and 'that's it', never gave me a positive affirmation!"

After listening to this conversation, I don't know if anyone thinks the latter is a bit childish-she will be sullen because no one praises herself.But if you think about it in your own shoes, we ourselves often get emotionally affected by such "little things".You know, it is part of human nature to want to be noticed and praised.

What are the things that a person needs most to live in the world?Someone once conducted such a survey, asking people what they want the most, and the final result is surprising. "Be valued" and "appreciated" are actually on the list together with other necessities of survival, becoming the elements of life that people care about most .William James once said: "The most ardent need of human nature is the desire to be affirmed." According to philosopher John Dewey, "hope matters" is the most profound driving force in human nature.I think that in addition to material needs, human beings also need spiritual comfort.

Last autumn, I met a cheerful children's picture book writer, Ms. Bao, at a party in the circle. She is almost 50 years old, but when I saw her, what impressed me the most was her energy and laughter. Constantly, making her look like she is only in her 30s.

When Ms. Bao introduced her companions to us, she fully showed her wit. When she introduced a lady, she said: "This beautiful woman is one of our best new writers." When she was a colleague, she praised: "Don't look at her young, she is a rising star in our children's comics industry." All the people mentioned by Ms. Bao laughed and said, "Thanks for the award", and everyone laughed and laughed.Is Miss Bao trying to curry favor with others?No, she is more famous than the people she praised.I found that these compliments from Ms. Bao always make the scene full of warmth, and the people she mentions will also become very active.

"When I see the shining points in others, I will praise them without hesitation. Although some people will be embarrassed, everyone is very happy, and I am also very happy." After I chatted with her later At that time, Miss Bao told me so.

Infected by her, I also began to look at life with an appreciative eye, and I found that when I told my friend’s daughter that her crayon drawings were very novel, told my lover that the new tie he picked was very discerning, and told my classmates that he looked good recently Looking young and telling colleagues how much progress he has made in his work, I find myself happy when I see them happy.Moreover, my mentality became much more relaxed and younger, and my complexion improved accordingly.

Ladies, like me, learn from Ms. Bao, life will be very happy if you have a heart of appreciating others.Think about it, if you appreciate the people and things around you, how far will it benefit you?First you'll make yourself happy, then you'll make your family happy, and then you'll make your colleagues happy when you walk into the office.In my opinion, learning to praise is actually a transformation of a person's state of mind. If an ordinary person learns to praise the people around him, it means that he cherishes everything around him more and learns to appreciate the efforts of others.

As a woman with a strong career, whether you can praise others generously shows your strength and magnanimity.Only a confident woman will enthusiastically praise others. Because she is confident enough, she will always look at things in a positive way, and she will not be jealous of other people's progress and achievements.Praise means a broad mind.

We all have a little corner of our hearts that longs to be recognized.George Washington likes others to call him "Your Excellency"; Queen Catherine refuses to accept letters that do not indicate "Her Majesty the Queen"; the great writer Victor Hugo is most keen on hoping that one day the city of Paris will be renamed "Hugo City"; Shakespeare, the greatest playwright in history, also tried to find a way to get a Medal of Honor for his family.So, if you want to be a person who is comfortable in social life and in life, learn to discover the advantages of people and things around you.

In the study of success, affirming people's abilities is one of the commonly used methods.Sisters, recall those ladies with outstanding temperament and excellent reputation that you have met in your life. Are they all good at complimenting others?

Have fun complimenting others!Praise is the affirmation of others, whether it is innate appearance or acquired character, conversation, behavior, can be your reason to praise others.When someone around you is enthusiastic about doing something, even if he doesn't succeed, you should praise him because he did it with his heart.

Most elegant women are masters of fragrance

An elegant woman usually does not easily change her usual perfume, considering this as her own signature.

How important perfume is, you only need to visit the Louvre or the Metropolitan Museum to know.There, you'll see quite a few boxes filled with ancient perfume bottles, and you're sure to be amazed.These perfume bottles can be traced back to the oldest civilizations, for example, in the villages of the African jungle, even the most primitive tribes concocted perfume, and this perfume was so strong that it choked the nose.

Li Bai, a famous poet of the Tang Dynasty in my country, also wrote in a poem: "When the beauty is here, the room is full of flowers, but after the beauty leaves, the bed is left empty. The embroidered quilt on the bed can not be slept on, and it has lingering fragrance for three years."

Many female characters in "Dream of Red Mansions" can be associated with fragrance, and Jia Baoyu's first-hand maid named Xiren has the meaning of "fragrance hits people".

Fragrance has been an excellent weapon for women to capture men since ancient times.From Cleopatra, the queen of Egypt, to Concubine Yang, the beauty of the Tang Dynasty, all attractive women exude a unique fragrance.To a certain extent, aroma can also be used as a powerful weapon, making good use of it can not only increase your charm index, but also bring you unexpected good luck.

Tang Xuanzong, the sixth emperor of the Tang Dynasty in our country, visited the hot spring palace in the 28th year of Kaiyuan, and met a beautiful girl, whose fragrance was overwhelming.At that time Tang Minghuang was over sixty, while Yang Yuhuan was only 26 years old.Xuanzong was also an accomplished enlightened monarch in the Tang Dynasty. He was fascinated by Concubine Yang Guifei, and he specially built a bath for her, filled it with perfume, and invited her to take a bath.Concubine Yang Guifei had hyperhidrosis, and her sweat could soak up the fragrant handkerchief. Xuanzong felt that her sweat was fragrant; he also built a Chenxiang Pavilion for her. Li Bai was once called to write Qingping music poems. "Lu Ningxiang" and "Chenxiang Pavilion leaning on the railing to the north" all highlight the word "fragrance".

In addition, both Xishi and Xiangfei have a delicate fragrance, and they emit fragrance spontaneously without using spices.Because of her handsome appearance and fragrant body, Xishi was selected by the doctor of Yue State as a gift to Fuchai, king of Wu, to play a trick of beauties.King Wu specially built the Perfume Creek and the Fragrance Trail for Xi Shi, and had fun with Xi Shi in the fragrant and fragrant atmosphere every day.

Xiangfei was brought back to Beijing as a spoil of war by Emperor Gaozong Qianlong of the Qing Dynasty when he attacked the Western Regions.Xiangfei is a native of Kashgar, Xinjiang. Because of her unique fragrance, she fascinated Qianlong.The body fragrance of a beautiful woman from a foreign race has fascinated a prosperous Mingjun, which shows that the fragrance has great charm.

The legendary Coco Chanel famously said in 1921, "If a woman does not use perfume, she has no future".That's what she said when she launched her fabulous vintage fragrance.Whether it is still effective today, we don’t know, but what is certain today is that using fragrance skillfully can not only make you happy physically and mentally, increase your charm, but also become your success assistant, no matter in work, career, or networking. , or love, family.The benefits of such little effort, why not try it?
It is necessary to pay attention to etiquette when using perfume, such as: whether the perfume you choose and the intensity of the perfume are suitable for the occasion, whether it is suitable for your status, personality and temperament, and even matches your occupation, age and clothing. Followed the basic etiquette of using incense and so on.

Either thick or light is always suitable

To choose a perfume, you must first understand the perfume.Different perfumes have different fragrance types and different concentrations of essences.

Perfume has 5 grades of concentrated perfume (essence), perfume, eau de toilette, cologne, and toilet water (light perfume).

The concentrated perfume essence content is more than 20%, and the duration is 5-7 hours;

The fragrance content of the perfume is 15% to 18%, and the duration is about 5 hours;

The essence content of eau de toilette is 8% to 15%, and the duration is 3 to 4 hours;

The content of cologne essence is 3% to 5%, and the duration is 1 to 2 hours;

The essence content of toilet water is 1% to 3%, and the duration is less than 1 hour.

Different types of perfumes have different durations due to different essence content, which is why some perfumes can last for a long time after use, while others lose their fragrance quickly, and the price of perfumes also varies greatly.

Many people have misunderstandings about the concentration of perfume. They think that the higher the essence content of the perfume, the stronger the fragrance. In fact, it is not the case. The higher the essence content of the perfume, the longer the fragrance will last.

The distribution of fragrance can be divided into front, middle and aftertaste.The top flavor is the aroma emitted about 10 minutes after the perfume is applied, such as lemon, tangerine, bergamot and other citral series; the middle flavor is the aroma emitted 20 to 30 minutes after the perfume is applied, such as jasmine, rose, lily of the valley, lilac and other flowers series, and rosin, cinnamon and other spice series; the aftertaste is the most abundant aroma released 30 to 60 minutes after application, such as sandalwood, oak and other resinous fragrances, and animal fragrances such as musk and amber.

The aftertaste is the best fragrance to express personality. This fragrance is a comprehensive taste produced by mixing personal skin and body odor.In addition, when trying the perfume, you can spray the perfume in the air, and then pick up the smell with your hands to smell it. At this time, the middle and aftertaste will appear directly, which are the main notes of the perfume.

Some people like to apply the fragrance layer by layer, especially at night, such as using body soap first, then body lotion, and then perfume, and the fragrance type is uniform.This method may seem a bit extravagant, but the smell you give off must be great.

The age factor should also be considered when using perfume, and the concentration and fragrance type should be adjusted. Don't use the same concentration and fragrance type of perfume for 5 or 10 years.When you are young, you can use fresh, refreshing, and low-concentration perfumes. As you age, you need to increase the concentration of perfumes and adjust the fragrance type to suit mature charm.

The correct way to spray perfume

Essence is applied in the form of "dots", perfume in the form of "lines", and eau de toilette in the form of "surfaces". The lower the concentration, the wider the application range.

Small amount and multiple places, small amount and multiple times: Do not spray too much at one time, the effect of spraying a small amount and multiple places for multiple times is the best.The uniform and thin aroma that surrounds the body can bring people a hazy aesthetic feeling that seems to be absent, and it also reflects the charm of perfume.

Perfume should be sprayed on sensitive and pulse-beating parts: behind the ears, neck, wrists, inner arms, inner thighs, inner knees, ankles and other parts with higher body temperature, obvious pulsation, and faster blood circulation, which are suitable for fragrance distribution.

Seven-point method: first spray the perfume on the left and right wrist veins, then lightly touch the corresponding wrist veins with the middle finger and ring finger of both hands, and then lightly touch the back of the ears and the back of the neck; For a long time; lightly touch the inner side of the corresponding elbow with both hands; use a sprayer to spray the perfume on the left and right sides of the waist, lightly touch the fragrance on the waist with the left and right fingers, and then lightly touch the inner thighs, the inner knees of the left and right legs, On the inner side of the ankle, the seven-point method of rubbing incense is considered complete.

Note: Do not rub repeatedly during the fragrance wiping process, otherwise the organic components in the fragrance will react chemically, which may destroy the original flavor of the perfume.

Spray method: Before putting on clothes, let the sprayer be 10-20 cm away from the body, and spray mist perfume. The wider the spray range, the better, and then stand in the fragrance mist for 5 minutes; Walk slowly through the incense mist.This allows the perfume to fall evenly on the body, leaving a light fragrance.

Spray the essence with a spot rub or a small spray on the pulse points: behind the ears, inside the wrists, behind the knees.Eau de Parfum is rubbed or sprayed on the pulse beating place, and avoid using on the pulse beating place on the chest and shoulder blades.

Perfume, cologne or eau de toilette can be sprayed and used freely because the essential oil content is not very high and will not damage the fibers of clothes.For example: where the pulse beats, inside clothing, in hair or in the air.

The effect of applying perfume is better on parts with high body temperature.Basically, the body temperature is higher on the inner side than the outer side; in addition, the aroma rises upwards, and the ideal effect can be obtained better when applied to the lower body than to the upper body.

Do not wear perfume where the sun is exposed, because the alcohol in the perfume will leave spots on the skin when exposed to the sun; in addition, ultraviolet rays can also cause chemical reactions in the organic components of the perfume, causing skin allergies.

Fragrance can be sprayed on clean, freshly washed hair.If there is dirt or oil in the hair, the fragrance will deteriorate.At the same time, it should not be sprayed on dry and fragile hair to avoid damage to the hair quality.

Fragrances are organic ingredients, which are easy to react with gold, silver, and pearls, causing them to fade and damage. Therefore, perfume cannot be sprayed directly on jewelry. You can spray perfume first and then wear jewelry.

Cotton and silk clothes are easy to leave traces after spraying perfume. Do not spray it on the fur, as it will not only damage the fur, but also change the color.Perfume is not easy to leave spots on wool and nylon clothing, but it is difficult to dissipate the fragrance on pure wool clothing.

Do not spray on parts that are prone to sweating and developed sweat glands, because these parts sweat a lot, and it is easy to dilute the perfume, and the mixture of sweat and fragrance will produce a strange smell.

(End of this chapter)