90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 5 Be true to yourself, No matter how beautiful the plastic flowers are, there will be no bees wandering around (1)
Whether a woman lives a wonderful life and the quality of her life depends on whether she can find her true self.

Some women live very badly. They are either numb and boring, or painful and helpless, because they bury themselves alive, living in illusions and illusions, and become shriveled plastic flowers.

In fact, you can be just as successful as your idols.

In short, you can live a thousand times happier than you are now.As long as you live real.

Be yourself who you like to be confident

Do you want to live a dignified and elegant life?Do you want to be in control of your life?Then please stop immediately and ask yourself two questions: What kind of impression do I want to leave on myself—what kind of self do I want to live out?What kind of impression do I want to leave on others—what kind of him and me do I want to live out?
These two issues are much more important than eating, sleeping, going to work, falling in love, getting married and having children!
I always believe that whether a woman lives a wonderful life and the quality of her life depends fundamentally on her clear understanding of her "two selves"-self and other self.

Women, whether you are an old-fashioned woman or a fashion girl, when thinking about life, you must first consider what kind of woman you want to shape yourself into and what kind of life you want to have through this life.Should it be an oak tree full of enthusiasm and self-contained scenery, or a dodder relying on parasitism and attachment?Do you want to have a magnificent life, or live this life in a muddleheaded way?
The famous Hong Kong actress Shu Qi was very vain when she was a girl. She always wanted to attract attention. When others didn't pay attention to her, she would feel very uncomfortable and felt left out.When she is with her classmates, she always wants to be the central figure; when walking on the street, she always wants to attract the attention of passers-by with the most beautiful clothes and the most gorgeous dresses.

All this seems dangerous, but fortunately Shu Qi has a very clear definition of "self" and "other me".She knows what kind of life she wants and what kind of woman she wants to be.Her goal is to become a successful actress like Maggie Cheung!In her eyes, Maggie Cheung lived a wonderful life with many changes. She was lively and cute when she was young, and she was very feminine when she matured. This is amazing.

In order to fulfill her wish, Shu Qi worked hard, had a positive attitude and never backed down, and finally got her wish, making herself a shining movie star.

"I've always wanted to be an actor like Maggie Cheung," she said tearfully during her acceptance speech at the Taiwan Film Golden Horse Awards ceremony.

Compared with smart girls like Shu Qi, there are more confused women who don't know who to live for, let alone how to live.Such a woman is pathetic.

She was my aunt's sister, a woman who was first vain, then blind, and then sober.

She was the same age as me, but she was married when she was still in high school. The man just bought her a motorcycle and conquered her. She ignored the opposition of her family and got married in a muddle-headed way.

On the day of her wedding, she handed over the steering wheel of her life to her husband along with the dowry.

Shortly after the marriage, she became a mother.The child is in kindergarten, and her husband said, "Let's do transportation together", so she agreed.After three years of transportation, she saved some money. She wanted to open a clothing store in her hometown, but her husband said that she would use the money to start a business.She just followed her husband's will and stayed at home, serving men, children and in-laws.After another 3 years, her husband successfully owned three branch companies, and she lived a life of a rich man.At this time, the husband said to her: "We succeeded, and now you are a rich wife, and you are going to live the life of a rich wife."

So, she obeyed her husband's words, went home and became a rich wife with peace of mind.Gradually, she got together with the wives in the community, and learned to rub hemp, walk the dog, and shop; later, she heard rumors in the community that her husband was with other women.

As a result, she was no longer confident and began to become suspicious.She suspected that she was no longer young and beautiful, and that her husband no longer liked her.Later, she decided to go for plastic surgery and breast augmentation.She wants to regain her beauty and self-confidence through surgery, so as to defend her marriage.

When she got home after the operation, she couldn't wait to tell her husband what she had done. She thought he would be so moved that he would hug her and cry with joy.Unexpectedly, her husband just looked at her indifferently, and then said expressionlessly: "I can't live with a dummy, let's divorce!" Her husband's words were like a bolt from the blue, which confused her; Her husband didn't like her surgery, and she said, "If you are not satisfied, I am willing to go to the hospital again and undergo surgery to change back to the original appearance."

Her husband ruthlessly rejected her.She was 34 years old that year, no longer young.Because she didn't have a job and the ability to raise her, she didn't even get custody of her child, and her parents got sick because they worried too much for her.

Undoubtedly, she was very sad at that time. She felt that she was nothing, sorry for herself and her parents.

After several months of pain, she began to reflect, she felt that she deserved it, because she never planned for herself, she didn't know what kind of self she liked, and she didn't know what kind of life she wanted to create. A "blind eye".Then, she became her own life planner for the first time. She borrowed a sum of money from her parents and opened a clothing store. In fact, she wanted to do this when she was 16 years old.This is her interest as well as her advantage. She loves beauty and is especially good at dressing.

Tian fulfilled her wish, she succeeded, became the owner of a clothing store, and now opened a gold store and a supermarket.She is not only a rich woman, but also a good child who is filial to her parents.

Suddenly one day, when her ex-husband asked for remarriage with their children, she rejected him sternly.She said: "I was a fool when I was with you. I was nothing. I didn't realize who I am after I left you. And now, I am the best. I have loved this since I was 16. I do It's done, I don't want to change. Thank you for leaving me."

We may not be able to comment and estimate the important role of youth and beauty and plastic surgery in marriage, but as far as women are concerned, breast enlargement and beauty are definitely not magic weapons for women to enhance their charm, and only by being who you like can be infinitely attractive.

Such examples teach us absolutely profound lessons, because managing a marriage requires wisdom just like managing a life, and one operation cannot solve all problems.

In addition to finding our own coordinates, we should also know what kind of social evaluation we want to win for ourselves and what kind of impression we want to leave on others.Each of us is a member of the society. Few people don't care about other people's evaluations, especially women, who are always more sensitive.Back then, if Ruan Lingyu saw that there were more than 20 people at her funeral, would she regret not resisting the pressure?Wouldn't the words "people's words are awesome" be left behind?

Of course, we are fortunate to live in a civilized and free society. The prejudices and shackles of the feudal era have long gone, and we can breathe freely in an enlightened society.Even so, here are a few questions women should consider early in their formative years:

1. What kind of woman am I going to be?Is she a traveler who follows her heart, a good wife and mother who behaves well, or a strong business woman?In fact, there is nothing wrong with what you do, the key is what kind of self you prefer.

2. What kind of impression do I want to leave on my parents?My parents gave me life, I should thank them.Should I be a filial, affectionate and righteous child, or a heartless daughter?

3. What kind of social approval do I expect?When judged by others, what do I like to be portrayed as a woman?

4. What kind of role do I want to play among my classmates and friends?Does it matter, or does it matter?
It is very important to find your own life coordinates, but this is not something that can be accomplished overnight, it needs a process, even a very long process.In the meantime, it has to go through countless iterations and twists and turns.However, once you figure out the positioning of your "two selves", your life will have a clear direction and goals, you will not be confused, and you will avoid detours.So, the sooner you complete this task, the better.

The Temptation of Xia Da: Only by doing the work you love can you reverse growth

Have you ever noticed that women who are sincerely engaged in artistic work are younger.I still remember an old man I saw in Wangfujing Pedestrian Street one summer.

She set up an easel at the entrance of a certain store and painted there.I was 23 years old at that time. In my impression, aging is a terrible thing. I think that when people are old, they are only kind and not beautiful.But that aunt is really beautiful. There are many young women around her, but none of them are as beautiful as her.

She is also 65 years old and about the same age as my mother.

She is painting seriously, and she has drawn a picture of Xia He. Although there are silver threads on her head, I think she is as bright as the first blooming white lotus in her brush.

Over the years, I have been wondering: Is art itself a magic that can make people grow backwards?It wasn't until I met Xia Da at the Spring Festival Gala last year that I became more determined about this idea.

Eve's temptation is well known, but Shadar's story is less well known.

She is the first manga artist from the mainland to successfully enter Japan's top manga magazines with her original works. At the age of 30, she will always have the face of a 16-year-old girl, weighing more than 70 kilograms, the reality version of the beautiful girl in the cartoon.It is a classic case of reverse growth!

She was really beautiful, amazingly beautiful.But do you know why she is so beautiful?
The reason why time did not leave traces on her was because she focused on one thing and completely forgot all the changes around her.In the interview, she said: "There is nothing greater than death in this world. What does death mean? It means that there is nothing left. You will not know anything that happens in this world in the future. You will not be aware of it. It has nothing to do with you. .”

When asked what her dream is, she simply answered in three words: "Drawing manga."

It's not about buying a house, a car, or luxury goods, but just drawing comics.She infuses life into the things she is passionate about, and through this infusion, leaves a trace of life.Asked how she felt when she completed each work, she said: "When I look back, I know that I am not sloppy and perfunctory, I have no guilt or anxiety, and my heart is open, so I am very happy."

Such a seemingly weak girl (actually she is a mature woman, but I prefer to define her that way), but her language is quite penetrating.At the beginning of her graduation, she did not take a job that she was not very happy about but could exchange for food and clothing like most of her classmates, but endured financial constraints.It lasted like this for 7 years.

When the host asked: "Did you never think about giving up in such a difficult situation?"

"Being hungry is nothing compared to doing a job you don't like," she said.

Such a simple sentence, how many people can say it and do it?Everything we do is an expression of personal emotion.And some people express it very purely, so they are moving.

In Hong Kong, there is also such a "Xia Da".Do you remember "McDull"?This ugly little pig was created by her.Her name is Mai Jiabi, and she is also a woman who is clear and reversed. She lives an extremely simple life. This person who always likes to dream in a simple world seems to never grow up. Even if she becomes a wife, she still looks like a woman. Innocent girl.

In Hong Kong when Mak Kabi was studying, most parents hoped that their children could study law or medicine, which are popular majors, because only in this way can they become members of the social elite.But she is not interested in all these popular majors. She is obsessed with painting design and wants to be a happy and contented cartoonist.Fortunately, her unique idea was approved by her parents.From then on, Mak Kabi started her own way of comics with an obsession.

At the age of 18, Mak Kabi was admitted to the Hong Kong Polytechnic University, and learned from her classmates that a newly opened publishing company was looking for illustrators.She went to the company to recommend herself, and the boss Xie Liwen accepted this talented girl, but unfortunately she left the company only before the start of school.

Four years later, it seems that there is a force in the dark that makes Mai Jiabi return to the starting point in the summer when she was 4 years old.Mai Jiabi failed to get a job, Xie Liwen accepted her again, and she became his employee, partner, and later his wife for a long time. This mixed role has been maintained to this day.

According to her husband Xie Liwen, the deeper the contact, the clearer what Mai Jiabi needs is an extremely simple world. Apart from comics, she doesn't seem to need any extravagant things.

Mak Kabi is an anomaly in Hong Kong: she is simple, but she also makes money; she is useless, but she succeeds at last.Regarding life, she said: "I thought that God gave me very little things. He neither gave me writing, singing, or eloquence, and my expressive ability was very poor. What I said was very trivial, such as this flower is beautiful, that grass Not bad, the butterfly flew over there. My memory is not structured or informative. I remember it with pictures. But it allows me to focus on one thing instead of spending time on other things It turns out that what makes me the most capable and pleasing to me is painting, and only when I keep painting can I feel happy."

God has given everyone different talents, but in the vast sea of ​​people, how many people understand their own talents?Even if you understand, how many people stretch their talents?
Are you discovering your talent?Did you stick to it without compromising?The answer to this question determines whether you age prematurely, grow naturally, or reverse growth.

Do not love vanity, live wisely and noblely

Speaking of women's vanity, one cannot fail to mention Maupassant's novel "The Necklace". "The Necklace" was solemnly written in the textbook as a classic, and it is still fresh in my memory after reading it. In The Necklace, in order to pay back a diamond necklace for her girlfriend, Mathilde spends 10 years withered face and body before realizing that the debt she has been working hard for is actually the price of a fake.Beauty and health are gone.It was an old male teacher named Du who taught me this text.With a pair of deep eyes, he scanned the classroom coldly, and told everyone sternly that he said a lot about the central idea of ​​this article and so on. I have forgotten the previous words, and I firmly remember the middle sentence: "The Necklace" The beautiful Mathilde fell into this fate because she was a vain woman.

At that time, Qiong Yao's novels were flooded, and how many dreamy female students were shaken by the beautiful crystal shoe story in the novel, and Teacher Du defined it as a "vain woman", which made me and other female students who love beauty feel guilty. .In his class, the beautiful floral skirt should be replaced with plain blue pants, and the fancy T-shirt that has just become fashionable should be replaced by a simple collared white shirt.Whenever Mr. Du saw the female students in the foreign class wearing slightly showy clothes, he would frown and say, "How can such a female student who loves to dress up learn?" So one of our favorite things to do in the dormitory It is to see who wears a new dress and frown to imitate Teacher Du's words. "Vanity woman" is synonymous with love of beauty, lack of progress, and greed for money.Who wants to grow up to be a "vanity woman"? "Vainous women" are always related to innocence!Since then, I've had a bad opinion of vain women.

(End of this chapter)