90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 6 Be true to yourself, No matter how beautiful the plastic flowers are, there will be no bees wandering around (2)
Over the past ten years or so, my views on vanity are no longer extreme. I gradually understand that people's hearts are complicated, and many women have a seed of vanity buried deep in their hearts. Vanity is not terrible.Mr. Zhou Guoping also said in the article "The Good Woman in My Heart": "Vanity is inevitable, it's okay to have a little bit, and it can add color to life, but it should be done in moderation." The dull weather makes people feel dull, depressed and boring.And some very distinct and unique features in a woman's temperament are like the twinkling stars in the sky, making life agile and shining.Such is the case with a woman's petty vanity.Moderate vanity can make women cherish themselves better and keep themselves in a good state of life and work at any time.The vanity of women makes women require themselves to be well-dressed before going out, to strive for excellence in the work they do, and not to be left behind, which will also be the driving force for women to continue to improve.A woman's vanity makes a woman simple and cute. Maybe just compliment her "You are so beautiful today" and it will make her happy all day.

But excessive vanity is like applying too much floating color on the skin, too many accessories hanging on the body and colors added to the body, while making people dazzled, it is inevitable to be bored and make oneself look ugly.

She is a beautiful woman from the Central Plains of Henan, and she is the most vain woman I have met in my more than ten years of professional career.When we were working with her, she always joked that the husbands we silly girls were looking for were foreigners, and said that she must find a man from Beijing, so as to widen the gap with us.Later, she really found a Beijing man, and she was looking forward to the demolition every day.After 3 years of waiting for the demolition, she couldn't bear the ordinary life, so she felt that her husband was worthless, and took advantage of the convenience of work to flirt with clients, intending to catch a rich man.In order to attract the rich and handsome, she has to ponder people's hearts in different ways, control herself, and frequently deal with men of all colors.To be honest, she was quite tired, and I was quite afraid to see her. It was a face full of desire, her eyes were full of grasping skills, and her gestures were full of seductive factors.

Later, she finally fell in love with a rich man, successfully remarried, and became the "millionaire bride" she wanted.

Do you want to know how her life is now?A few days ago, she slapped me on Q and posted her "trophy" to me, saying that she had just spent 10,000+ yuan to give birth in a private hospital.Through the video, I saw what she looks like now, and I almost lost my breath, the same creepy smile, the same flashy and empty eyes, and a weight of 160 catties!

I asked her why are you so fat?She said: I have no thoughts or burdens, my husband has money, and I live a good life.

I was so annoyed by her looks that I quickly shut up while she was still talking endlessly about how handsome the doctor who delivered her in the hospital was, how flirtatious her husband was, Watching her violent and explicit words, I felt like being attacked by flies.

Recently, I heard that she was divorced again. The rich husband thought she was fat, and she thought her husband was old, so the two broke up immediately.Hearing this news, I was not surprised at all. Those who came for the nectar must go away because the nectar is exhausted.It's just that the flying around inevitably exhausted herself, and she must be very tired too, but she was numb because of being conquered by desire.

A wise woman is a master who skillfully adjusts vanity and the color of life, and an ignorant woman is a weak person who is blinded by vanity.The former is noble, the latter sad.

Listen to yourself, don't be a puppet of life

A woman with brains and thinking has temperament, and a woman without brains and opinions is just a puppet.

Although it is said that "When humans think, God laughs", but for the sake of happiness, women still have to use their brains.

A long time ago, a prisoner sentenced to death begged the king to give him a chance to be a man again. The king saw his sincerity, so he agreed to his plea, but asked him to answer a question within a month—how? Women are the happiest?In order to survive, the prisoner searched for many people and walked a lot of roads. The king was not satisfied with the answers he found. There were only three days left, and the prisoner was very depressed.At this time, someone told him: "There is a witch in the mountain. She knows a lot of things in the world. You can ask her, but she is tricky and filthy."

In order to survive, the prisoner didn't care about these things. He found the witch, and regardless of the witch's cunning, he cleaned up the dirty witch's room and filled the tank with spring water...

On the last day of this month, the witch was moved by the prisoner. She told the prisoner: "A woman's greatest happiness is to be in charge of her own destiny."

The prisoner ran and told the answer to the king, who released him on the spot.

Yes, a woman who can control her own destiny is happy, but if a woman wants to gain the ability to control her own destiny, she must first have the ability to think independently.

What is independent thinking?Independent thinking is a woman's independent judgment based on her own life, work, environment, and destiny.

However, if using the brain as a sport, it has always been a woman's shortcoming. "There are only vines entangled with trees in the mountains, but how can we see trees entangled with vines in the world?"For a long time, many women are habitually dependent and too lazy to think independently.Even thinking revolves around men.

There is such a true story: a girl named Xiaofang is outstanding in all aspects. She runs a barber shop. Although it is just an ordinary job, Xiaofang loves it very much and uses her own hands to bring customers Healthy and beautiful, Xiaofang is very satisfied with herself.

But her boyfriend is very dissatisfied with her job. He is very jealous of people saying that he has found a "hair salon girl", although the real situation is not like this.

"If you want to marry me, close the barber shop." Her boyfriend asked her.

Although very reluctant, Xiaofang closed the shop for the sake of happiness.

After marriage, in order to support her husband in his business, she became a housewife and became his "washing machine", "dishwasher" and "vacuum cleaner".Whenever she wanted to go shopping, her husband gave her thousands of dollars to spend as she wished. Xiaofang felt that she was lucky to marry such a rich husband, and she began to laugh at those women who were busy working every day.She laughed at other women's poor fate, but she didn't know that others laughed at her ignorance and lack of dignity.

Until one day, the husband admitted to having an affair and told Xiaofang that as long as she accepted other women, he would not divorce her.

Xiaofang was shocked, feeling as if she had fallen into a bottomless abyss, and she completely woke up.Although Xiaofang only graduated from high school, she is a woman in the new era. She knows how to respect and cherish herself.A lover is just a partner in life, not the master of life. She has missed it once, and this time, she can't be wrong again.Holding back her grief, she signed the divorce papers with the same hands that used to hold a barber's scissors.

It sounds like an old Beijing opera, where the husband becomes famous and finds a new love; the wife is old and poor and abandoned.In fact, this clichéd play has been performed for thousands of years, but we often don't think that we will become the characters in the play.

You must want to know how Xiaofang lived afterwards!After the divorce, she regained the ability to think independently, and picked up wherever she fell.With the support of several good friends, she reopened the barber shop, and the business is booming, and now she is busy expanding her business.Xiaofang regained her youthful look and became more and more attractive.

She said: "Women must listen to their own words, and cannot be led by others casually. Now I feel that 'no matter how well married you are, it is better to do well by yourself'. A woman's destiny must be determined by herself!"

Numerous facts have repeatedly proved to people:

Women are not the moon, they should have their own shining.

Women can't live only by men, they should have their own pursuits.

A woman is complete, love and career are equally important.

Once you have this ability to think independently, your heart starts to grow strong enough to do whatever you want.

What is mental strength?Mental power refers to the power with which a person uses his or her mind to achieve a goal.In this process, you have to step over thorns, resist temptation, walk briskly, and move forward all the way. You can hum a song and imagine the flowers in front of you and the beautiful scenery.

Dedicated to being a woman once!Don't squander the uniqueness of women to cater to the needs of others, and don't seek happiness like smoke to please men.Walk the way a woman should go, accept everything that life has given me calmly, and don't let myself fall in the passage of time.

More rational spirit, not the fate of chess pieces

I remember seeing such a very old joke:
A woman goes into the post office, asks for a telegram, writes it, and throws it away.Then, she asked for a second one, and threw it away after finishing writing.After the third sheet was written, she handed it to the telegraph operator and ordered it to be dispatched as soon as possible.

After the woman left, the operator became interested in the three telegram drafts, picked them up and looked at them, and saw that the first telegram read: "Everything is over, I don't want to see you again."

The second read: "Don't call again, never see me again."

The third content is: "Take the nearest train and come quickly, I'll wait for you!"

Although this is a joke, it reflects the character flaws of many women-indecision and irrationality.In life, the attitude is ambiguous, tepid, and always can't make up his mind... Such words seem to be specially designed for women.The behavior of many women does reflect similar characteristics.From a psychological point of view, the psychological phenomenon of indecision and indecision shown by a person when dealing with problems is a manifestation of weak will.

A weak-willed woman is also a poor household of temperament.

On April 2013, 4, Margaret Thatcher died of a stroke at the age of 8.The impression she left on the world is that she is firm, persistent, tough, and never compromises or retreats easily... Of course, she also has a noble and graceful femininity.

She was once the most powerful woman in Britain, possessing superb political wisdom and steely will, and the declining "Empire on which the sun never sets" revived in her hands.More than 11 years since she came to power, she has changed the whole of Britain: the lifelong welfare system has been broken, the influence of trade unions has been suppressed, insisted on privatization, canceled government subsidies, businesses that lost competitiveness have closed down, and a large number of employees have lost their jobs... But she ignored the waves Overcoming a wave of protests and opposition voices, he insisted on his own philosophy of governing the country.Changes have taken place in Britain from political form to socio-economic and even traditional cultural trends, and the impact has continued to this day.

She is a thoughtful, assertive and far-sighted woman. Where there is conflict, she will give harmony in time; where there is error, she will spread the truth in time; where there is doubt, she will bring faith in time; place, in time to evoke hope.Her diligence and meticulousness stem from the sense of responsibility of the owner of No. 10 Downing Street, and also from the sense of mission deep in a woman's soul.Her resoluteness and resoluteness made the elites of the male world stunned, and she was given the nickname of "Iron Lady" (Iron Lady) by the old rival Soviet Union at the time.

Her deeds are not only powerful, but also warm and graceful.After Mrs Thatcher's death, her press secretary Sir Ingram said: "Mrs Thatcher was always an attractive woman. Not only was she a movie star, she could act like a movie star if she wanted to. .”

But in life, there are very few rational and decisive women, and countless indecisive women.Why do some women tend to go back and forth when encountering problems, don't know whether to do this or that, even if they decide to do things, they are easy to waver?The reasons for their lack of decisiveness are roughly as follows:

First, character traits.Generally speaking, most indecisive women are introverted, self-enclosed, neglected to communicate with the outside world, lack self-confidence, have fragile feelings, are susceptible to hints, and are overly cautious.Follow the crowd in the group, value other people's opinions and opinions, and have no independent opinions.

Second, cognitive impairment.Psychology believes that the lack of a clear understanding of the nature of the problem is also the reason for indecision and psychological conflicts.As long as we observe carefully, we will find that indecision mostly occurs in immature women. This is because they have insufficient insight into the world, insufficient experience in dealing with the world, and lack of necessary knowledge and experience in some things.

Third, psychological shadow.As the saying goes: "Once bitten by a snake, you will be afraid of well ropes for ten years." Once you encounter a similar situation, you will have a negative conditioned reflex and hesitate.Such women often have painful experiences in their hearts and rarely have successful experiences.Therefore, they dare not make decisions lightly on anything, and dare not face the consequences.

As the saying goes: "If you don't stop, you will suffer from chaos." Indecision will not only make you miss opportunities in the face of opportunities and success, affect your own progress and development, but also hinder being a resolute and charming woman, bringing you Strong psychological pressure forms a vicious circle, so that the mood is depressed and distressed.So, how can we overcome the problem of indecision?

1. Cultivate the ability of independent thinking
Usually study hard and think more, don't always think about relying on others.When you encounter a difficult choice, don't make a decision blindly and impulsively, ask others what to do, or wait for others to teach you, but try to eliminate interference and hints from subjective and objective aspects, analyze calmly, Use your brain, then try to make a decision and act on it.

2. Broaden your knowledge

A person's decision-making level has a lot to do with his own knowledge and life experience.If you have a wide range of knowledge and rich experience, you will not be nervous and flustered when encountering problems, and at the same time you can make correct decisions based on your own knowledge and experience.On the contrary, your decision-making level will be relatively low, and you will be easily manipulated by others.

Women should strengthen the accumulation of knowledge in all aspects, arm themselves with knowledge, broaden their thinking, broaden their horizons, cultivate courage, and gradually make great progress and progress.

3. Make positive psychological hints

To a certain extent, indecision in dealing with things is caused by uncertain thinking and judgment.If you can look at problems dialectically and learn self-suggestion, you can improve your mentality and improve your ability to analyze and solve problems.

At the same time, when facing difficulties, we must overcome unnecessary distracting thoughts and timidity, cheer up, maintain clear thinking and observation skills, and make decisive choices.

4. Good at learning from others

"Threesomes, there must be my teacher." When you don't know how to do something, you might as well observe other people more, then analyze carefully, and improve your decision-making power by learning from other people's strengths and experience; you can also find Find out the disadvantages of the other party and summarize your own practices, so that you will know how to proceed when you encounter similar problems again.

(End of this chapter)