90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 7 Be true to yourself, No matter how beautiful the plastic flowers are, there will be no bees wandering around (3)
Be bold, don't be a coward

Women seem to be cherished and protected by nature, and they can play the role of "coward" confidently.Many girls scream in horror when they see small animals such as cockroaches and mice.This is a sign of cowardice.Their timidity also reflects their cuteness, which can arouse men's desire for protection.But in this highly competitive society, sometimes just being "cute" doesn't work. You can't grow up in a greenhouse all your life. Once you enter the society, you have to face other people who compete with you.A woman should rely on her own courage to complete herself, and not to waste her youth in the comfortable embrace of a man.

In order to be a courageous and knowledgeable woman, you have to be wild!Once you are not wild, you will never know how much potential you have and how much explosive power you have.

Li Li is a timid girl who follows the rules and has hardly done anything out of the ordinary since she was a child.After graduating from university, Lili joined a design company.In the design department, she is a "little guy". Many colleagues can draw faster than her and have a stronger ability to make plans.It seems that if she wants to gain a foothold in the company, she needs to work hard.However, a year later, she is still just an ordinary designer.Because she does not dare to break through herself, she does not deliberately express herself, and her design ideas are also conservative. She dare not implement and express many good ideas.After a long time, Lili herself felt that life was aggrieved and boring.

One day, the boss convened a meeting of all the staff and said: "According to the current project volume, the company has enough designers, but the business department lacks independent talents. I want to transfer a few designers to run Business, do any of you want to?"

The boss asked the designers present for their opinions one by one, but they all said that they didn't know anything about the business department's process and were incompetent.In fact, they all think that they are "academics" and have a background in majors. How can they walk around the streets and ask for jobs with smiles on their faces?
At this time, Lili didn't know where her courage came from. She stood up abruptly and volunteered: "I am willing!" After the meeting, she was immediately transferred to work in the sales department.For her, this is a very unfamiliar job position, and many things make her feel dizzy.She must quickly adapt to everything around her and establish her own customer circle as soon as possible in order to expand her business volume.

Lili started to walk out of the office, actively discuss cooperation matters with customers, and learn about prices and discounts in the market.Lili has become a very busy person. Not only is she responsible for the big and small affairs of the business department, she also has to make a written report on the on-site investigations she has done on each residential real estate to the boss, so that the company can carry out the next step of specific work. .

After working in the business department for nearly 4 years, Li Li has established a solid customer base, and at the same time allowed other business personnel to fully display their talents.They united and cooperated to create unprecedented performance, which made everyone in the company look up to her with admiration.

At this time, the company was preparing to recruit some young backbones to join the management, and the leaders all thought of Li Li.They thought she was talented, hard-working, and brought great benefits to the company.The boss has the deepest impression on her, because a few years ago only Li Li boldly stood up and took on this difficult job. She is indeed a modern woman who dares to act.

Lili entered the management team logically and became an elegant female executive; however, the designers who sat in the same office as her back then were still doing their original jobs and did not become better like her.

You see, in the workplace, Lili is unexpectedly wild, allowing herself to stand out in the fiercely competitive environment, becoming the darling in the eyes of the leaders, and becoming her ideal self.

Today, with the rapid economic development, all kinds of opportunities and challenges are everywhere. Showing yourself boldly and pursuing your dreams in life has gradually become the mainstream thinking of modern women.Women might as well be bold and give themselves more opportunities to try.For the first time on the stage, lower your posture; gain a firm foothold and develop slowly; when the opportunity arises, you must attack boldly.With this spirit of daring to take risks and face difficulties, women can create miracles.

If you don't do something now, you will never do it
If you want to do something very much, but dare not stand up or express your will, you will definitely end up with a self-pity and self-pity in the end.There are things you don't do now that you can safely tell you will never do again.If you don't bravely step out of the psychological barriers you set up, and don't take the initiative to show yourself, then it is really difficult for you to succeed.

You have to tell yourself at any time: I have strength and advantages, and my character and integrity are enough to be trusted.I have professional ability and unlimited potential, I am the best!You must have self-confidence, have a fearless spirit towards the goal you are looking for, and take the initiative to fight for it with the determination to win.

make full preparations

"Bold" but also "careful".The premise of boldness is careful planning, which reflects the very important ability of individuals to handle affairs.Mature women never fight unprepared battles, they always face difficulties after making preparations in all aspects.

So, you have to seriously check yourself: Is your external image impeccable?Do you hold your head high and your chest high when you walk?Is the expression relaxed and natural?When challenging difficult problems, have all the data and materials been prepared?

maintain balance

If you care too much about the results of things, you will not be able to enjoy the fun in the process, and it is easy to have a fear of gain and loss, so that you hesitate and hesitate.

A smart woman always thinks carefully before others have time to see the opportunity clearly, and bravely steps forward, thus successfully achieving enviable success.Understanding these principles means that we have discovered the opportunity to surpass others and achieve ourselves.

God is self, keep yourself true

If you have read "The Color Purple" by the black female writer Alice Walker, you will understand how important authenticity is to a woman's charm.In this novel, the dialogue between the protagonists Celia and Shug about the Creator is the most profound.Shug, a beautiful black female singer with independent consciousness, said to Celia: "God is in your heart, and in everyone's heart...God is neither she nor him, but it." From Shug to Celia Gained a new understanding of God: God is spirit, God is self.This kind of spiritual revolution allows a woman who was struggling with the idea of ​​"I don't fight, I keep myself safe, but I live" to regain her true self-awareness and regain her charm and confidence as a woman.

Authenticity, that is, the spirit of being able to maintain one's own individuality, bravely break through the shackles, and assume one's own responsibility under the pressure of the group.Celia used to face Mr. So-and-so’s beating, hard labor, and life like stagnant water. She still endured silently, did not say "no" to these things she did not want to do, and still held "I will not fight." , I live" life "Words of truth" is living mediocrely, her true nature is buried by the status quo of life.

Because of its innocence and nature, authenticity becomes the charm of the individual.Celia has lost her authenticity, and her charm is gone.One of the biggest impressions of her is "ugly", her stepfather said she was "very ugly", Sophia told her "God doesn't like ugly people", even Shug said "you are ugly" when she saw her for the first time It's really ugly."As a young girl, tortured by her stepfather, she lost the innocence that a girl like her sister Nettie should have; as a housewife, she is not as healthy and strong as Sophia, who dares to fight; as a woman, she is not as good as Shug. Dare to act and weather-beaten, she is just a cow who almost buried her own nature, succumbed to the men's despotic power, and became an objectified tool to take care of children.

Shug’s words did have a great impact on Celia. She had the awakening of her subject consciousness. She dared to say what she had been holding on her heart in public. She uttered the most authentic voice, “I’m poor, I’m a black man. , I am also ugly, and I can't cook yet. There is a voice that says to everything that wants to hear, but I am here", bravely broke through the inherent barriers, discovered the beauty of the surrounding, and more importantly, she discovered own beauty.At the same time, she also understands that everyone has the right to live, so even though she loves Shug madly, she also respects Shug's right to choose and let Shug take his 19-year-old lover and leave her.This black woman finally regained her true self-confidence and beauty.

In today's society, women no longer need to struggle to break free from the inherent social constraints. Women with different charms can be seen in any field. The true beauty of women is very precious at any time. This It can be regarded as a little inspiration for women from Alice Walker's work published in the 20s.

How can a woman preserve her authenticity?
Do what you like

Do what you love, do what you love.Even if you bow your head in front of the secular world for the sake of real interests, you should stop in moderation, at least do what you can accept or tolerate with your own values.

do not cater to others

Women should not suppress their individuality, do not blindly cater to others, but know how to leave room for themselves.Blindly catering to others, not everyone will reciprocate, and those who are not aware of it will press you step by step until they push you into a corner.

Marry someone who accepts your flaws

Find a man who accepts your flaws.If you love you, you must accept your shortcomings. People who cannot accept your shortcomings when they are in love will be more harsh after marriage.

Let the world take its course

Life is full of various things, all we have to do is let nature take its course, enjoy life and appreciate everything in life.Self-righteousness: the process by which the subject discovers the value of each object, and this process includes two aspects: the subject discovers independently without pressure; the object has its charm.This is a bit Zen-like, and it is very similar to Su Shi's view in "The Fu on the Red Cliff", "Only the cool breeze on the river and the bright moon in the mountains, the sound is made by the ears, and the color is formed by the eyes. , take without restraint, use inexhaustibly, is the creator's endless storehouse, and what I share with my son."Everything created by the Creator is a treasure and has its own value. We should take the initiative to appreciate all these things at present, and all these things are insignificant but indeed have their value.

Be a woman with pursuit and planning
Man is an animal living in hope.Even the most scruffy beggar has something to look forward to every day.

In a person's life, there are always big and small expectations.Expectation is the spiritual pillar of a person. If a person does not have any pursuits, it will be difficult for him to live happily.

Lincoln once thought: "The height of a fountain will not exceed its source, and so will a person's career. His achievements will never exceed his own beliefs." This is very reasonable.

Where there is belief, there is pursuit. A person can have various pursuits in his life, ranging from completing an essay, saving money to buy a computer, passing an exam to obtain a qualification certificate, to starting his own company, etc.

Where there is pursuit, there is planning.Any smart woman with a brain, after clarifying her goal, will make a plan as soon as possible to design her own life timetable.

Taking entrepreneurship as an example, the famous entrepreneur Qiu Yonghan said: "25 to 35 years old is the best time to start a business, 40 years old is quite late, and after 40 years old is the exception among the exceptions."

Your train can be temporarily delayed, but not always.This is precisely the importance of timetables in life.

For women, life planning must be done, and short-term, medium-term and long-term goals must be established.At different stages of work, it is necessary to analyze the development of the situation and determine the next step.Outlining the detailed steps of the planning process can help women effectively cope with the possible adverse effects of changing conditions, such as work or circumstances.

Generally speaking, there are two types of goals: one is the big goal of life, that is, what kind of person you want to be in 10 or 20 years; the other is short-term goals, that is, what you should do in half a year or one year.Every woman should have a clear understanding of these two points and make her own choices.

The big goal of life is a general outline of a woman's life, supporting a woman's life for most of her life, or even her entire life.From a young girl to a white-haired old lady, the big goals in life will guide women through one difficulty after another and towards success one after another.

Today's world is changing rapidly, and no one can predict what he will look like in a few decades after a hundred years of life. Emotions, careers, and families all touch women's fragile heartstrings and affect their lives.

Especially young women, in this case, should set a lofty goal.In this way, a woman's life will become clear and meaningful, and she will no longer be afraid of the long night, the vicissitudes of the world, and the ups and downs of her life experience.

At the same time, just like a huge plan has many details, women must also formulate short-term and medium-term goal plans, and then step on these steps to success.

Therefore, after having a big goal in life, there must be short-term and medium-term goals to realize the big ambition, otherwise, the big goal in life is just empty talk and a mirage.A seemingly big dream, as long as you turn it into a goal and refine it step by step to make it a medium-term and short-term goal, then it will be easier to realize.

In order to avoid detours due to youth and inexperience, you can discuss and work together with colleagues, friends, bosses and family members to strive to achieve the goals at each stage, or improve the plan to make it more feasible.

After determining the goal, no matter what the goal is, you must have the determination to achieve it, and you must achieve it as soon as possible. This is the most important prerequisite.

However, planning for the future does not guarantee that all difficulties and problems encountered in the future will be solved or become easy to deal with, and there is no ready-made formula that can be applied. However, it is conducive to women's early discovery and better resolution of new problems, such as whether to It is necessary to increase knowledge in a certain aspect through training, whether to consider changing jobs or occupations, etc.

In addition, planning for the future can help improve women's ability to solve problems and adjust their minds.When a woman wants to achieve a career, although she can't predict how far it will develop in the future, nor can she predict her own destiny, the most important thing is to follow the plan for the future in an orderly and orderly manner.Only in this way can women achieve their goal of constantly developing their potential at work.

How to plan for the future?If the goal is set too low, the individual's potential cannot be fully realized; if the goal is set too high, it will be difficult to achieve it.You must measure your own ability, which is slightly higher than what you can do, and that is a good goal.Women must pay attention to the following issues when planning for the future:

1. What is my goal?
2. What do I know about myself and everything that affects my goals?
3. What kind of material basis do I have to achieve my goals?

4. How do I plan to use this first-hand information and material resources to achieve my goals?
5. How to put the planned method into action?
As a woman, only by making a comprehensive plan for her own life can she better grasp and control her own life and ensure her lifelong happiness.

Of course, this is not about writing out when you will graduate from college and when you will complete your life's major events, because you can't control your life like a schedule.The so-called planning here refers to an attitude: "Believe what you believe, change what you want to change." After all, the purpose of formulating a life plan is to outline and create the desired life.

(End of this chapter)