Pillow Book of Talmud Wisdom

Chapter 9 Suffering is the way of life—Jews on self-reliance (1)
The Jews are the most intelligent nation in the world, and their survival wisdom and business skills are unparalleled in the world.Perhaps because of this, the "promised land" God gave them is extremely barren; there are few winding rivers on the ground, no minerals underground, and half of the land is desert.However, after more than 2000 years of being scattered around the world, they actually established a country in such an environment, turning the desert into an oasis, and achieved world-renowned achievements.

As the "Talmud" says: Pain is the way of life.

You must do your own things
"You must do your own things yourself. Even if you do not do as well as others, it is still the result of your own labor. Only when you fail once and for all can you get perfection in the future. If you always rely on others, then your Poverty and humility will always be the company of life."Jews often teach their children this way.In their view, after children have their own abilities and status, it will be easier to communicate with their families and society, and they will be better able to adapt to changes in the surrounding environment.

There was a Jewish merchant who had two sons.The father doted on the eldest son, and he wanted to leave all his property to him.But the mother felt sorry for the little son, and she begged her husband not to announce the division of property yet.She always wanted to find a way to share the two sons evenly.The businessman followed his wife's advice and did not announce the decision to divide the property for the time being.

One day, my mother was sitting by the window crying. A passer-by saw her and came up to her and asked her why she was crying so sadly.She said: "How can I not be sad? To me, both sons are equally close, but my husband wants to leave all the property to the eldest son, and the younger son will get nothing. Before I Before I figured out how to help my youngest son, I begged my husband not to announce his decision to my sons. But I still don’t know how to solve this trouble.” A passer-by said: “Your trouble is actually easy to solve. You Just let the husband declare to the two sons that the elder son will get all the property and the younger son will get nothing. But after that they will each get what they want. As soon as the younger son heard that he would get nothing, he left home and went to Jerusalem to make a living He learned many crafts there and increased his knowledge. The elder son has been living on his father and learned nothing because he knew that he was rich. After his father passed away, the elder son could not do anything and finally put All the property was spent; but the younger son learned how to make money outside and became rich."

In fact, in many developed countries, the requirements for children studying in school are also very "mean".In Japan, many students use their spare time to serve dishes in restaurants, wash dishes, do tutoring, sell goods in shops, or take care of the elderly, etc., in order to earn money for tuition fees and pocket expenses.Americans have always taught their children to be independent and self-reliant. Children at the age of seven or eight have become "small businessmen", selling their "commodities" to earn pocket money.American middle school students have a slogan: "You have to earn your own money." During holidays, they become part-time workers and earn their own living.

Most children in modern families are only children, and their material life is relatively superior. Many things are arranged by adults. Clothes are handed out, and meals are opened. In such an environment, children will inevitably lose the ability to live independently.This is very unfavorable for children to participate in social competition in the future.Parents should cultivate their children's independence from an early age.Parents should let their children grow into a big tree that can support itself independently, not a fragile grass that cannot withstand the wind and rain.

There was a little boy about 1 year old, who was led by his young mother to the square in the park. When he was about to climb a dozen steps, the little boy broke free from his mother's hand and wanted to climb up by himself. .He climbed up with his fat little hands, and his mother didn't intend to hug him up.When he climbed two steps, he felt that the steps were very high. He looked back at his mother, who didn't reach out to help him, but her eyes were full of kindness and encouragement.The little boy looked up again, he gave up the idea of ​​letting his mother hold him, and climbed up carefully with hands and feet.He crawled very hard, his little ass was raised high, his little face was flushed with exhaustion, his rompers was soiled, and his little hands were dirty, but he finally climbed up.The young mother stepped forward to pat the dirt on her son's body, and kissed his flushed little cheek.

This little boy became the 16th president of the United States -- Lincoln.His mother was Nancy Hanks.

It goes without saying that there are countless steps in a person's life-study, work and life.How can parents educate their children to face and climb these steps in life?Is it holding hands, supporting, or hugging?Different parents will have different answers.Obviously, if the parents lead and support the child, it will make the child dependent, and often treat the parents as crutches and find it difficult to stand on their own.If parents carry their children up the steps and wrap their children in swaddling clothes, then the children will become a generation that has been brought up without weathering the wind and rain, not seeing the world, and it is even more difficult for them to gain a foothold in society.Usually, children open their mouths when they eat, reach out for clothes, pick them up at school, accompany them to study at night, and even their parents have to be "nanny" after they are admitted to university.After graduating from university, the child looks for a job, and his parents have to go to work as a "job agency"... In this way, it is difficult for the child to be self-reliant and achieve a lot.

Jewish parents believe that no matter how rich they are, they cannot enrich their children.Let the child suffer a little bit, and there are "steps" for him to climb by himself.Only in this way can the child "go all out" and climb to the top of glory.

overcoming barriers to independence

Once you have the habit of being independent, you have developed the ability to challenge crises, and you have won the super psychological quality to withstand pressure, it is time to look for opportunities and take action when you see them.However, it is the most critical link that is really full of obstacles.How to pass these obstacles step by step is directly related to the success or failure of the action.

Obstacle #[-]: Conformity

Conformity, self-balancing, and maintaining the status quo are common to most people.In fact, it is a self-destructive habit.Because it does not conform to the laws of nature, the objective fact is that nature, human society and human thinking are constantly changing.These changes require that your rules of conduct are constantly changing in order to adapt to the needs of development.

Why do people desperately pursue this seemingly impossible stability?Why are people afraid to take corresponding actions to deal with these changes?The reason is people's fear of the unknown.

To overcome this psychology, we must accept the fact that the external world you live in will not depend on your subjective desires, and you must adjust yourself to adapt to its changes instead of passively coping with these changes.If you can recognize this fact, why not think about it: Since change is inevitable, why not make it positive?With this in mind, you can choose actions to control these changes.

Obstacle Two: Dependence on Others

Many people have a naive idea that other people will care about their affairs besides themselves.But that's not the case at all.

You must always remember this sentence: No one will care about your things like you.Acknowledge that your own things are more important to you than anything else.You also have to keep in mind: the more urgent it is, the less you can rely on others, but you should act on your own.Waiting passively will only make you miss the opportunity and lose the good game.

Obstacle [-]: Difficulty choosing

There are often such things in life, some people are struggling to find opportunities, while others are surrounded by opportunities.People surrounded by opportunities tend to be in a hurry and panic.As the saying goes, bear's paws and shark's fins are all what I want. I want to eat them, but it's really difficult.

There's a saying: "The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time." It's impossible to do everything, you have to make trade-offs.

Obstacle [-]: Looking forward to tomorrow

One thing to remember is that tomorrow will be better based on today's good. In fact, if today is not good, tomorrow may be worse.Always believe that good things don't come every day.Therefore, seizing today as much as possible is the key to success.Don't fool yourself into "New Year's Resolution Syndrome" by saying things like "I'm going to be doing this from the first day of next year" or "I'm going to do it next month".

The best time to start being productive is today.There is a saying that goes well: Yesterday was a voided check, tomorrow is a promissory note, and now it is a genuine banknote.We must cultivate the good habit of putting the implementation action into practice today.

Obstacle Five: Falling into Adversity
Adversity is a great obstacle to action, because a man who takes action, sometimes even more than once, always returns in vain, or even suffers a great blow.So I lost confidence in the future and didn't want to continue doing it.

To overcome this obstacle, it is necessary to recognize the nature of adversity.Because adversity is inevitable, no matter how smooth you are at a certain moment, the god of luck will not always be with you, maybe one day, you will fall into adversity.

Perseverance is an important quality to overcome adversity, and it requires the assistance of knowledge and wisdom at the same time.It also requires you to clearly recognize that adversity is an important part of life and to treat it with an open mind.This openness will allow you to develop a selective mindset that will allow you to find new solutions no matter how great the adversity is.

Obstacle Six: Powerlessness

(End of this chapter)