12 Mindfulness Lessons Listened to at Tsinghua University

Chapter 31: This and That (1)
1. What is suitable is the best
Lavender grows well in the north, but it is not suitable for planting in the south; litchi grows vigorously in the south, but it will die when transplanted to the north.Adapt measures to local conditions, tailor clothes, don't let yourself fall into unnecessary troubles, just base yourself on the land under your feet, no matter whether it is rich or poor, it is good for growth; find your own direction, and be happy all the way.

——Pu Cunxin (a famous performing artist who gave a speech at Tsinghua University)
There is such a small fable on the Internet:

There is a young monk in a certain temple. He has lived in the monastery since he was a child, carefree.Suddenly one day, he approached the abbot and said that he wanted to return to vulgarity.

The abbot asked him, "Why do you want to return to vulgarity?"

Little monk: "I think being a monk chanting scriptures all day long, and still having so many rules and regulations, is no different from being in prison. fall in love!"

The abbot said: "You only see the beauty of life in the world of mortals, but you don't see the pain of all sentient beings. You always feel that your life is boring, but you don't think about what kind of life you are suitable for. Let me tell you a story."

It is said that there are two mice, one lives in the city and the other lives in the country, they are pen pals.One day the Country Mouse wrote a letter to the City Mouse:

Brother mouse in the city, please come to my house to play when you are free. Here, you can enjoy the beautiful scenery of the countryside and fresh air, and live a leisurely life. How about you?

The City Mouse was overjoyed when he received the letter, and set off for the country at once.When he got to the country, the country mouse took out a lot of barley and wheat, and put them in front of the city mouse.The City Mouse said disapprovingly, "How can you live such a poor life all the time? It's so boring to live here with nothing but food! You'd better come to my house and I'll treat you well." of."

The country mouse followed the city mouse into the city.

Seeing the luxurious and clean houses in the city, the country mouse was very envious. Then he thought that he was running on the farmland from morning to night in the country, eating barley and wheat as food, and had to grow grass roots on the snow in winter. Compared with himself, the mouse is really unfortunate.

After chatting for a while, they climbed onto the dining table and began to enjoy the delicious food.Suddenly, with a bang, the door opened and someone walked in.They were startled, and fled into the hole in the corner like flying.

The country mouse was so frightened that he forgot his hunger. He collected himself and said to the city mouse, "I think I am more suitable for a peaceful life in the country. Although there are luxurious houses and delicious food here, I am very nervous every day." , it would be better to go back to the country and eat wheat." After saying that, the country mouse left the city and went back to the country.

After the story was finished, the abbot said: "The city mouse and the country mouse have different lifestyles. Even though they were once curious and envious of each other's life, they all returned to their own lives in the end. So , I hope you can also think clearly, you have lived in a monastery since you were a child, and you have become accustomed to the purity here. After returning to the vulgar world, can you bear the right and wrong in the world of mortals? Can you cope with the loneliness away from the Buddha?"

After hearing this, the little monk decided to stay in the temple.

In fact, it is not necessarily a bad thing for a young monk to return to vulgarity. The bad thing is that he is so vacillating.Every life has its pains and joys, and everyone has his own way of life. If you change the environment rashly without considering your own conditions, you will inevitably be at a loss like a country mouse entering a city.If you can't help but return to your original position like a country mouse in the end, isn't it asking for trouble?
The following story is quite illustrative:
A and B are college classmates. After ten years of separation, when they meet again, A has become the owner of a private company, while B is an ordinary worker.Looking at his old classmate's sports car, B said sourly: "Your brother is doing well, now you can get whatever you want..."

A smiled and shook his head and said: "Brother, I said that I am not feeling well, maybe you don't believe me?"

Of course B doesn’t believe it: “You don’t know your blessings while you’re in the midst of blessings, right? You eat delicacies from mountains and seas, live in garden villas, drive galloping horses, and are surrounded by beautiful ladies and high-tech talents. Huong, you still say you are not feeling well?"

A said with a smile: "Okay then, just stay with me for a few days and try!"

B readily agrees, but after three days have passed, he offers to go home. A tried again and again to stay, but B said sincerely, "I thought you lived like an emperor, but I didn't expect you to be worse than me."

It turned out that during these three days, A and B were inseparable.Three days and 72 hours, the two of them spent 20 hours on the plane, and the rest of the time, A had to deal with various affairs of the company. In the early hours of the morning, another phone call woke him up, and the cycle continued.Therefore, B, who is used to eight hours a day, can't stand it anymore. He feels that although A is successful, his quality of life is not as good as him.At least he has his own time to dominate, at least he has enough rest time.

Of course, this is just a theoretical example. Success has its own benefits, and successful people do not necessarily have to be more tired than ordinary people.But never equate success with joy and happiness.The famous British rock star John Lennon said: "When we are struggling for life, life has already left us." Many successful people are not happy. On the one hand, the success of anyone is the accumulation of pain. On the other hand, they often regard success as the only basis for joy and happiness.We know that no one can be successful forever, there must be a trough after the peak, and even if the happiness and happiness based on success can be obtained, it can only be short-lived.

Furthermore, failure does not mean failure.A person who is happy, has things to do, has food to eat, does not become a burden to society, does not become a scumbag, and lives with dignity is successful.

We say this by no means to persuade everyone to draw a line with success in the traditional sense.In fact, for some people, living an ordinary life is tantamount to trying to survive, and their happiness must be built in the process of pursuit.And for others, it is true that they are not fit to pursue success—at least not until their hearts are strong enough to face any failure.We just remind: choose a path that suits you and walk it well, and tell yourself often, no matter what the future holds, I should be happy, and it must be the kind of happiness that comes from the heart and comes from the soul.Knowing this, success or failure is just a by-product of life.

2.Let go, the other shore is here
Life is a process; business is a result.Each of us lives every day. If you are unhappy every day, if you combine all the days, you will be unhappy all your life.But if you are happy every day, in fact you will be happy all your life.

——Yu Minhong (Founder of New Oriental Education Group, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)

I forgot which martial arts film in the late Qing Dynasty was at the end. I have seen such a scene: the protagonist stands by the sea, watching a group of people board the passenger ship to the "Golden Mountain" (San Francisco) in the United States, and says to his disciples as if to himself : If the United States really has Jinshan, then why do foreign devils come to China?
This question really touched the fundamental sore point of those who worship foreigners.However, to this day, there are still a large number of people who firmly believe that the moon in foreign countries is rounder than that in China, and that Western monks can chant scriptures better than local monks.Even Chinese cultural relics, which are Chinese things, are often not recognized in the hands of the Chinese, and they are suspected to be imitations.However, the same thing is often good in the hands of foreigners. Even in the appraisal of cultural relics, foreigners are considered to be better than Chinese, and many jokes have been made because of this.For example, once, a Chinese professional cultural relic appraiser met a foreign "appraisal master". At that time, the man was appraising a Qianlong vase, which had the year of the Republic of China inscribed on it.Mr. Pei asked: Do you know Chinese?What did the man say?Did Mr. Pei say it belonged to Qianlong?But there is the year of the Republic of China on it.The man said: This is Qianlong's imitation of the Republic of China, so it is still Qianlong's.

The same goes for other things.Many people think that foreign countries, especially developed countries, have a better environment, and it is definitely easier to succeed there than in China, and they often cite certain successful people, such-and-such successful people, and so on.In fact, this is simply self-deception and lack of self-confidence.For a self-motivated and capable person, success can be achieved anywhere.No matter where you put a fool or a slob, he won't be able to succeed.There are still extremely poor people in the UK and the high unemployment rate in the US is the best proof.Some people who chose to immigrate back then are now starting to move back. This is no longer a fantasy.

So does it mean that everything will be fine if you don’t worship foreigners?not necessarily.

Early one morning, he was woken up by his wife's phone call.After listening carefully, it turned out that he was chatting with a classmate.The classmate went to Shenzhen with her husband, which made the wife who suffered from the severe cold in the north very envious.I just heard her say on the phone: How nice you are!You can wear skirts all year round!It has been snowing heavily in Beijing for the past two days, and when I went out, I was so cold that I died..." Unexpectedly, the other party interrupted and said, "Really?You are so happy!I have never seen snow in my life!I always wanted to see what snow was like, but it was too far away! ..."

There is no doubt that both of them are guilty of "living elsewhere".People always lack the eyes to discover happiness, but they never lack the eyes to discover the happiness of others.You often hear someone say: How nice it would be if I were him!Aside from you, you can always only talk about yourself. Who knows that when you are envious of others, others are also envious of you.As the great Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore said in the poem "Illusions": This shore believes that happiness is on the other shore, and the other shore believes that happiness is on the other shore.The other shore is a word derived from Buddhism, which simply means a state that people pursue and yearn for.However, imagining the other world is by no means exclusive to the Indian people. In fact, the imagination of the other world is an important part of the worldview of all nations.For example, in China, long before the introduction of Buddhism, people imagined in books such as "Shan Hai Jing" and "Chu Ci" that there is a world on the other side of Kunlun Mountain, with magnificent palaces, exquisite gardens, and weak waters all around. , with all kinds of exotic flowers and trees, rare birds and animals, and the medicine of immortality, most of the characters in various myths and legends live here.The gods usually eat jade, and they rely on various flying and running horses to travel... After the introduction of Buddhism, people were influenced by it and moved the ideal world westward to the Western Paradise, which is what people often say of pure land.But how can there be any pure land in the world?Even the Sixth Patriarch Huineng said: "What is the West? There is no so-called West in the world. The Pure Land is actually in our hearts, and we don't need to search everywhere." Buddhism always advises people to "let go". : Put it down, the other shore is here, the pure land is here.

Let's look at a true story that happened in India:
During the British colonial period, there was a wealthy landlord named Ali Hafeet in India. One day, he accidentally heard from an old man that there was a gem called diamond in the world. Buy the land of the whole village.If diamond mines can be found, there is even the possibility of becoming the king of India.That night, Ali stayed up all night thinking about the value of the diamond.Early the next morning, he went to ask the old man: where can I find diamonds?The old man laughed and said how would I know, I just saw someone else's diamond by chance.But Ali didn't believe it, and begged so hard that the old man had no choice but to say: "I really don't know where to find diamonds. But I heard that if one can find a river with white sand in a very high mountain , There must be diamonds buried in the white sand.” Ali was ecstatic, he quickly sold his family property, let his family stay at a neighbor’s house, and searched for diamonds alone.But he went all the way to the Pyrenees in Europe and found no river with white sand flowing.In the end, he was so disappointed that he threw himself into the sea and died.

More than ten years later, one day, the person who bought Ali's property took the livestock to the small river in the backyard to drink water.When the animal put its nose close to the river, he suddenly found something shiny in the water.He dug it up immediately, and seeing that it was a stone he had never seen before, he took it to the house and put it on the dining table.Coincidentally, the person who instructed Ali to look for diamonds came to visit the new owner again. When he entered the door, he found the stone on the dining table. He couldn't help but exclaimed in surprise: "This is a diamond!—Did Ali come back? He found it. Diamond?"

"No! Ali didn't come back. This stone was found in the backyard creek." The new owner replied.

"How is it possible?! This is indeed a diamond! If you don't believe me, take me to the small river to have a look." So the two ran out of the room, went to the small river to dig and search carefully, and soon unearthed more diamonds of higher quality. high diamond.Later, the famous diamond with a net weight of 100 carats presented to Queen Victoria by the British also came from that small river.

Diamonds are in your backyard - that's what people always say when citing this story.This is very irresponsible.Even if the above story is true, it is a coincidence.The reason why diamonds are called diamonds is that they are rare and rare.It's true, though, that there are things in everyone's backyard that are more precious than diamonds—like joy, like happiness.

are you happy?Are you happy?Long before Chai Jing became a reporter, many people asked others about this question, or were asked by others.But the responses of all the interviewees should be similar: first stunned, then blank.Some thoughtful people might say something like this: "Happiness? Happiness? Occasionally, but only briefly."

Happiness and happiness are always so short-lived, because we often base them on success or money.However, if you give all the diamonds in the world to a bitter cauliflower, the bitter cauliflower will still be a bitter cauliflower and cannot become a sunflower.If you don't have diamonds in your heart, you won't shine after all.Because happiness and happiness are not directly related to the amount of money and success.

3.Let's talk about tomorrow
I never predict what will happen after 5 years, it will be okay within 5 years.You said how did the people reveling downstairs in Tiananmen Square in 1949 imagine what it would be like 10 years later?I don't know, they all thought they became masters, but after a few years, some of them became rightists, so everything is too difficult to say.When I went to the countryside to exercise in 1989, my classmates and I carefully calculated how many years we would be able to afford a color TV. At that time, the most popular 21-inch Peony brand color TV, the market price was 2480.My salary at that time was 70 yuan a month. After I had enough courage and courage, I drank some wine and said that I could save 20 yuan a month. It turned out that it took 11 years to afford a 21-inch color TV.I couldn't see any mistakes in my guess at the time, and then we started "It's a cool autumn", and we couldn't continue talking about this topic, "It's a good day today...". (laughs) But now we have three TVs in our house, one in each room, and you wouldn't have imagined that the change would be so big, so what's the use of predicting?It's bad to predict the future and not do the present.

——Bai Yansong (host of CCTV, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)
It is said that in ancient times, there was a young monk in Shaolin Temple who was responsible for cleaning the fallen leaves in the temple every morning.In normal times, this errand would be easy.I'm afraid that in autumn and winter, the temple is full of fallen leaves every day, and the little monk spends a lot of time sweeping the floor every morning, which makes him very troubled.

The little monk asked the abbot of the temple for help. The abbot smiled and told him: "Before cleaning tomorrow, shake the tree vigorously to shake off all the fallen leaves, so that you don't have to sweep the day after tomorrow." The little monk thought this was a good idea. I got up early in the morning and shook the tree vigorously, thinking that I could really sweep away the fallen leaves of two days at once.

On the third morning, the excited little monk was dumbfounded—the yard was still full of fallen leaves.At this time, the abbot came over and said, "Silly boy, you understand now, no matter how hard you try today, the fallen leaves will still fall tomorrow."

Many things in the world, like the fallen leaves of tomorrow, cannot happen in advance, are unpredictable, and cannot be changed by manpower.People may not understand this story, but people are always like the little monk in the story, who are used to worrying about and working hard for some uncertain things, and then deeply regret after being in vain.

In 2004, when Germany hosted the Football World Cup, some sports editors made fun of the Germans: For most Germans, football is not something that interests them.Germans are only interested in work.If you ask a German: what do you do when you finish today's work?He will definitely tell you to do it tomorrow.Can I rest after tomorrow's work?No, there is the day after tomorrow.

In fact, today's Chinese are similar in this regard.A colleague once joked that there can only be three kinds of people in a room with lights on after twelve o’clock in the evening: children who “haven’t finished their homework”, authors who are rushing to draft, and young people who play games.Why do children who "didn't finish their homework" put quotation marks?Because most of the time, it's not that they haven't finished, but they can't finish at all.In the past, parents always taught their children that "today's affairs must be completed today, and tomorrow's affairs will be done tomorrow", but now parents often enroll their children in ten or eight specialty classes, hoping to force their children to become talents and all-rounders one day.Unfortunately, this approach not only has little effect, but also drives many children into problem teenagers.

(End of this chapter)