dead souls, imperial envoy

Chapter 59 Nose (2)
"Gentleman, I have a question that I can't figure out...Your identity should be very clear to you...at least I think so. But you actually appeared in this kind of place...a church...you must recognize such a thing... ..."

"What are you talking about? I don't understand at all. I'm so sorry...you may as well just say what you have to say."

"How should I express it so that he can understand it?" Kovalev thought for a while, and finally admitted bravely: "You have to admit one thing: As a major, if I walk down the street, It is obviously unreasonable not to bring your own nose. If a female peddler loses her nose, she can make do with it. After all, her daily job is to sell peeled oranges on the Shengtian Bridge. But I am different from her, I I'm looking for promotion... Besides, I know many wives of officials, such as Chekhtareva, the wife of the fifth-class civil servant... You should reflect on yourself... Gentleman, I don't know..." Major Kovalev Shrugging his shoulders, he continued: "I don't know, if this matter is raised to the height of the law... Oh, sorry... I think you have figured it out..."

Nose said, "I don't get it at all. Could you please be more explicit?"

Kovalev said gravely, "Gentleman... what do you mean by that? I really don't understand. Now, the truth is clear—your real identity is my nose!"

Nose looked at the major, frowning slightly.

"Sir, you must be mistaken. I work for an academic institution, but from the buttons on your uniform, it can be surmised that you serve in the Senate or, if not, in the judiciary anyway. So, There is not even the slightest relationship between us, and there is no possibility of any relationship at all." After the nose finished speaking, it turned its head back and continued the prayer that was interrupted just now.

Kovalev didn't even know what he was thinking, let alone decide on the next action plan, so he could only stand there blankly.Suddenly, there was the clear rustling sound of women's clothing.I saw two ladies walking over: one of them was over middle-aged, wrapped in a gorgeous dress with lace everywhere; the other was petite, wearing a light yellow hat shaped like a cake , she was wearing a white dress, which made her figure even more exquisite and embossed.Behind the two ladies stood a tall manservant with a bushy beard.He held a snuffbox in his hand, and opened it towards the two ladies.

Kovalev walked up to the two ladies, turning up his sackcloth collar as he went, and making the little stamp dangling from the gold chain more docile.He smiled slightly, and when he looked around, he looked at the slender lady again.I saw the lady leaned slightly, like a flower, she put her hand on her forehead, the skin on her hand was snow-white, and her fingers were almost translucent.Half of her face, as delicate as a spring rose, and her round, white chin, were slightly exposed from under the hat.Kovalev watched this scene, and the smile on his face couldn't help but grow stronger.However, suddenly, as if he was being burned, he took several steps back.At this moment, he couldn't help but burst into tears, just because he remembered that his nose had disappeared from his face without a trace.He turned around, intending to reprimand the well-dressed gentleman, that bastard who was full of lies, how could he be a fifth-class civil servant, he must be cheating!He is nothing, he is his own nose... However, at this moment, the nose has long disappeared, and he must have gone to visit some mansion in his carriage.

Kovalev had literally lost all hope.He came to the corridor, hoping to find the nose, so he looked around cautiously.He didn't pay attention to what kind of coat Nose was wearing, what color was the carriage that Nose was riding on, what color was the horse pulling the cart, whether there were any attendants following Nose, the style of uniforms worn by the attendants, He didn't pay attention.He only noticed the gold thread embroidery on the nose uniform and the tassels on the hat.At this moment, countless carriages were speeding past his eyes, and he had no time to tell them apart, nor could they tell them apart.In fact, even if he found the carriage that Nose was riding in, so what?The carriage would not obediently obey his orders and stand still.Today's weather is fine, and people are walking on Neva Boulevard.The avenue was crowded with people, and the sidewalk from the Annechee Bridge to the Police Bridge was so full of ladies that it was a cascade of flowers.Kovalev saw a familiar seventh-class civil servant coming towards him.He always referred to the civil servant as "Lieutenant-Colonel," and he seemed to do so with more gusto in the presence of unimportant civilians.He also met the chief of the senator named Ya Lei Geng, and the relationship between the two of them has always been very good.The chief's card skills are quite poor, and every time he plays cards, he must be the loser among the eight people.In addition, Kovalev also saw another major beckoning to him, beckoning him to go to him. The official position of this major was also obtained in the Caucasus region.

Kovalev found a cab and told the coachman: "Go straight ahead and stop at the police governor's house! Oh, what a terrible day!"

After getting into the car, Kovalev kept urging the coachman: "Hurry up! Go as fast as you can!"

When he arrived at the Governor's Mansion, Kovalev stepped into the front hall and asked loudly, "Excuse me, is the Governor here?"

The man at the gate replied: "The governor just went out and is not at home now."

"How is it such a coincidence?"

The gatekeeper said again: "It's not such a coincidence! The governor just left for a short time. If you arrive earlier, you can see the governor just one minute earlier. One minute ago, he was still at home."

By this time, Kovalev still had the handkerchief over his face.Frustrated again, he returned to the carriage and gave the order in frustration: "Go!"

The coachman was puzzled: "Where are you going?"

"Just go forward!"

"Just go forward? But it's about to turn. Which direction are we going to turn? Left? Right?"

Kovalev didn't know how to answer for a moment, so he fell into deep thought again.Although the strange incident that happened to me has no direct connection with the police, compared with other government departments, the police station is obviously much more efficient in investigating cases, so in order to solve the current predicament, I must ask for help. at the police station.Through the conversation with the nose just now, Kovalev has learned that the nose has no sense of morality or right and wrong.The nose once said what academic institution he worked in. If Kovalev found his superior and told him about it, the nose would definitely fabricate lies again in order to exonerate himself.You know, he just insisted that he had never met Kovalev, and he could tell such a lie without changing his face. It can be seen that in front of his leader, he can also lie without blinking his eyes.In this way, it was impossible for Kovalev to find out about this matter.At first, Kovalev planned to order the coachman to drive to the police station, but after thinking about it, he dismissed the idea.He thought it was a real scoundrel that the nose was so brazen in the first confrontation.If this rascal was given enough time to think, he would definitely think of a way to escape from the city.If this is the case, it will be difficult to find him, and the most terrifying thing is, maybe I will never see him again from now on.God bless, Kovalev finally thought of a good idea.He wants to go to the newspaper to publish a missing person notice first.No matter who has read this notice, they will be able to recognize him immediately when they see the nose again, because Kovalev will describe the prominent features of the nose in detail in the notice.After people found the nose, they would either inform Kovalev of his location in time, or they would directly grab him and send him to Kovalev.After deciding on this plan of action, Kovalev immediately ordered the coachman to rush to the newspaper office.During the march, Kovalev kept beating the back of the coachman with his fists, and kept cursing: "Go, liar! Go, bastard!" The coachman shook his head and sighed: "Mr. !” The whip in his hand immediately fell on the horse pulling the cart. The hair of this horse did not look much different from a pug dog.Finally arrived at the destination.Kovalev got out of the carriage as soon as it stopped, and went straight to the reception room.He was almost out of breath as he ran.A staff member was sitting in that small reception room.His hair was gray, he wore a pair of glasses, and he wore a tuxedo that looked like it had been worn for many years.He was at the table with a quill in his mouth, counting the coppers he had received.

Kovalev yelled: "Who is in charge of advertising? Oh, is that you? Hello!"

The man responded: "Hello." He only glanced at him, and then buried his head in the pile of copper coins again.

"I'm going to publish a..."

"Excuse me, please wait a moment." The man pressed a piece of paper with numbers on it with his right hand, and then set two beads on the abacus according to the numbers.Another man was standing by the table holding a note.Dressed in lace, he looked to be a manservant whose master must have been of great wealth.In order to show that he is not unknown, he said: "Sir, whether you believe it or not, the price of this puppy is not so much as 80 kopecks. If I buy it myself, even if it only costs eight kopecks." Coins, I would have thought it worthless. But it pleases the countess, who loves it so much. So, anyone who can get the puppy back will get 100 rubles bounty. People have different preferences, you and I are no exception. Hunters will like curly or long-haired dogs, as long as the quality of the dog is high enough, even if it costs 500, or even thousands of dollars, it is worth it of."

While silently calculating the numbers on the paper, the staff member pretended to "seriously" listen to his words.In addition, there were many people standing nearby with papers. Among them were servants, shopkeepers, and old women.One of the papers stated that it was selling a 1814% new carriage, which was bought in Paris in 19; the other paper was the cover letter of the groom, and it was additionally marked that the groom was very decent; One piece of paper says that a maid is looking for a job, and it is indicated that the maid is 17 years old this year, and she is competent no matter if it is laundry or other guys; another piece of paper says that a carriage is for sale, except for one Except for the lack of springs, overall, it is very strong, and it will not be a problem for a long time; in addition, there are some peddling kohlrabi and carrot seeds, which are said to be new arrivals in London; The age of this horse is marked as [-] years old; there are those who sell second-hand shoe soles, and those who are interested can come to discuss business from [-]:[-] am to [-]:[-] pm every day; In the yard, tall birches or fir trees can be planted in the yard. In addition, the villa has other extra gifts.The men lived in a stinking hut, but the stench did not attract Kovalev's attention.God knows where his nose is now, he can't smell anything at all, not to mention he covered his face with a handkerchief.

Kovalev couldn't bear it anymore and said, "Sir, I'm really in a hurry, can you hurry up?"

The Pulsatilla said: "I'll do it right away! Two rubles plus 2 kopecks! I'll do it right away! One ruble plus 43 kopecks!" As he said, he threw many sheets of paper at the servants and old women.Then, he turned around and asked Kovalev, "What can I do for you?"

Kovalev replied: "I think... well, I was deceived and taken advantage of. I don't understand the details until now. For this reason, I want to publish an advertisement. Anyone who can help I catch that nasty fellow, and I'll pay him handsomely."

"May I ask your last name?"

"Why do you ask this? I refuse to answer. You know, I know many well-known people very well, such as the colonel's wife, Paragya Grigoryevna Podtchenna, [-] The same is true of the civil servant's wife Chekhatalyova. If these people find out about this, I will be miserable! Well, you just need to write 'a certain eighth civil servant'. Of course. , a more appropriate title would of course be 'a certain future major'."

"Is this man you seek your servant?"

"Servant? If it's a servant, then it's not a big deal! What I'm looking for is...the nose..."

"There is such a surname in the world! Did Mr. Nose cheat you a lot of money before running away?"

"By nose I mean... well, how can you understand it like that? It was my nose that got away and I can't find it. I don't know who made such a joke on me!"

"What exactly do you mean, I really don't understand. How do you say he disappeared?"

"It's not convenient for me to tell you how he disappeared. The most important thing now is that he said he was a fifth-class civil servant, and he was traveling around in a carriage. I hope everyone can catch him as soon as possible after finding him He was sent to me, that's why I came here to ask you to publish such an advertisement for me. He is a very prominent organ to me, please put yourself in my shoes, if he is gone, how can I go out to see him What about people? He is very different from a small toe. The toe is missing, and it is difficult for others to notice, because the boots are wrapped around the toe! Every Thursday, I will visit the fifth-class civil servant Mrs. Chekhtarova, and I also often go to the colonel's wife, Paragya Grigoryevna Podtchenna. You don't know that the colonel's daughter is a beautiful woman! If it were you, if your situation was exactly the same as mine now, would you still dare to visit these old friends?"

The white-haired staff member began to think seriously, his lips pursed tightly.He didn't speak for a long time, but finally he spoke, but said: "I'm sorry, such an announcement cannot be published in our newspaper."

"Ah? What's the reason?"

"The reason is that such an advertisement will tarnish the reputation of the newspaper. In the past, many people have slandered our newspaper, saying that there is not a single truth in the newspaper, and it is all nonsense. Now if we publish such an advertisement again, saying Someone's nose slipped away by itself, and then..."

"The fact is true, how can it be classified as nonsense?"

"You think so, but others don't think so! For example, a similar incident happened to us last week. That day, a government official came here, and his attitude was just like yours now. Almost. He brought a piece of paper saying that his black poodle got lost, so he wanted to publish an advertisement. The total cost was 2 rubles plus 73 kopecks. You see, everything seems to be normal, there is nothing wrong with it? We How could this so-called black poodle allude to a female accountant, I have forgotten which government department she worked in, but this notice does imply the intention of defaming other people's reputation."

"But my advert only involves my nose, and it has nothing to do with the poodle. Basically, the only person involved in this advert is me."

"Even so, we can't publish it."

"My nose is indeed missing!"

"You've lost your nose. Go see a doctor. I've heard people say that no matter what kind of nose you want, there are doctors who can help you achieve your wishes. But, sir, what you said is just a joke, You look like a lively and cheerful person, and it is not surprising to do such a thing."

"I swear that I have never said anything false! Anyway, at this point, I might as well let you see the truth of the matter with your own eyes."

"I don't want to trouble you!" Pulsatilla took a puff of snuff and continued, "However, if it's convenient for you, I'll take a look." He suddenly became curious.

Kovalev then took off the handkerchief covering his face.

The staff member of the newspaper said: "It's so weird! This piece of skin is almost like a freshly baked pancake, flat and smooth! It's incredible!"

"Since you have said so yourself, you don't need to raise any objections to my request? This advertisement must be published, because the truth is before your eyes. Here, I want to express my sincerity to you. Thank you very much, it is an honor to know you..." Obviously, facing the current situation, the major will never begrudge compliments.

The white-haired staff member said: "It is actually very easy to publish such an advertisement, but is it really good for you? I don't think so. Instead of publishing an advertisement, it is better to ask for help from a writer with excellent writing skills People, write a manuscript similar to anecdotes, and say that the whole thing is a miraculous natural phenomenon. After the manuscript is completed, it can be published in the magazine "Northern Bees". Of course, this series of actions must With your authorization." He took a puff of snuff and continued, "The publication of such an article will be of great help to young people." As he spoke, he pointed at his nose again. Wipe it off, "Otherwise, it would be good to entertain those who like to hunt for novelty."

(End of this chapter)