Super self-control: not being a slave to habit

Chapter 2

Self-control: the game between willpower and habit

Self-control, as the name implies, is the ability of self-control, which refers to the correct control of one's own impulses, emotions, and desires.It is a force in itself (part of willpower) and an ability.It harnesses the three forces of "I will", "I don't want" and "I want".If you control it well, you can enjoy happiness, freedom and success under its guidance.

Save yourself, man!
— Beethoven
Rider of the Three Powers

Self-control is one of the most useful powers and skills for a person to resist all kinds of temptations, control emotions, eliminate interference, motivate himself, take action, accomplish goals, and create good interpersonal relationships in volitional actions.

Neurophysiologists tell us that people's behavior is both guided by reason and influenced by current emotional states, external disturbances, and temptations.There are good and bad influences, and there are strong and weak influences.Self-management of behavior is impossible without self-control and complete submission to human instincts and emotions.Only by strengthening self-control can we force ourselves to implement the decisions we have taken, overcome the interference of confrontation, such as fear and laziness, restrain the excitement of emotions, and equip people with the qualities of patience and self-discipline.

Self-control plays a very important role in a person's success.From the ancient encyclopedic scientist Aristotle to modern philosophers have noted: "The good life is based on self-control."

The opposite of self-control is loss of control.Many people think that they have poor self-control and are often dominated by their thoughts, emotions and desires.

On the road of life, there are not a few people who start out well equipped, with extraordinary talents and opportunities for a good education-all the things that should have enabled them to achieve.However, these people are often left behind one by one, surpassed by those who are far inferior to them.So why?Differences in individual self-control explain it all.Without strong self-control, even the best intelligence, the best education, and the best opportunities won't make you stand out.

Everyone knows that willpower is very important to people.Willpower itself has no perception ability, nor does it like or dislike a certain choice, nor does it judge the nature or value of a goal, nor does it measure morality.It simply uses all the spiritual power deep within you to achieve your goals, whether your thoughts are good or bad.It only responds to the results of your confidence or conscious thinking.Just like you get in a taxi and spend 5 minutes telling the driver a lot of places, he will get confused and even refuse to serve you.The same goes for your willpower.You must first have a clear goal, a kind of final decision, knowing where to start and where is the destination.Therefore, the two powers of "I will" and "I don't want" are so important, but they alone are not enough. There must be another power in your brain and body: knowing what you really want what.This power can control what we pay attention to, what we think, and even how people feel.In this way, we can control our behavior with ease.

Self-control is the power and ability to harness the three forces of "I will", "I don't want" and "I want".If you control it well, you can enjoy freedom and tranquility under its guidance.

Everyone is born with self-control, which is the biggest difference between humans and animals, but the strength is different. Some people have very strong self-control, no matter from which aspect, they can control their attention well They can live a happier life, have a healthier body, have a more harmonious interpersonal relationship, and have a more successful career. They can cope with pressure well, resolve conflicts, overcome difficulties and setbacks, and become more charismatic and leadership.

Self-control expert hot comment
Self-control is a kind of power and a kind of ability. Although it is an innate ability of human beings, it can also be improved through acquired exercise.So, if you want to make your life better, start with self-control.To enhance your self-control, you have to start from every bit of daily life and strengthen your training.

Your willpower is stronger than your habits

What is a habit?In Jack Hodge's book "The Power of Habit", there is such a passage that can most vividly and aptly answer this question: "I am your lifelong partner, I am your best helper, and I may also be your greatest helper." I will push you forward, or I can drag you down to failure. I am completely at your beck and call, and half of what you do will be given to me, because I always get it done quickly and correctly Tasks. I'm easy to manage - as long as you're disciplined. Tell me exactly how you want it done and after a few practice sessions, I'll do it automatically. I'm the servant of all great people, and I'm also all losers I am the accomplice of the great man. The great man is great because of my help; the failure of the loser is also due to my guilt. I am not a machine. In addition to working precisely like a machine, I also have human intelligence. You can Use me to gain wealth, or I may be destroyed. Catch me, train me, discipline me, I will bring the whole world at your feet, don't let me go, then I will Destroy you. Who am I? I am habit."

Man is a habitual animal. Whether we like it or not, habits are always pervasive and permeate every aspect of our lives.For example:
Exercise regularly
Arrange time reasonably
Do not give up easily

focus

these are some good habits

always think of the worst

Not confident

always blaming others for fear
Smoking, drinking

this is some bad habit
Certain habits are neither good nor bad, such as:

hold chopsticks with left hand
I like to use a satchel, I don't like to use a handbag

Flip through the middle when browsing magazines
Habits have a great impact on a person's attitude towards life, way of thinking and behavior over the years.It can carry you to success or drag you to failure.What we do, we become who we are.As Samuel Smile said: Sow a thought, and reap an action; sow an action, and reap a habit; sow a habit, and reap a character; sow a character, and reap a destiny.

Thankfully, your willpower is stronger than your habits, so you can change them.For example, try wrapping your arms around your chest and see which arm is on top?Then try the opposite direction (changing the up and down position of the arms) to hug once.Feels weird, right?But if you fold your arms in opposite directions like this for a month, you won't feel so weird, and you will unconsciously fold your arms in opposite directions. At this time, you have formed a new habit.

Self-control expert hot comment
A habit is a program, and the power to make conscious adjustments to the program is self-control.If self-control can adjust habits well, this program can be optimized very well, and a very good mental model will be formed to guide you to a different path.

Self-control is a powerful weapon against temptation

There are too many temptations in modern society, they always show a charming side, luring us gradually away from our ideals and goals.When faced with temptation, how can we remain steadfast?
Mitchell, a psychologist at Stanford University, believes that the key to whether a person can withstand temptation and succeed lies in self-control.

He believes: We cannot control the world, but we can control how we see the world.When faced with temptation, the most powerful source of support comes from within yourself.

A firm self-control in the heart is a powerful weapon to resist temptation. It frees people from the state of confusion and becomes their own master again.Therefore, self-control is fundamental to resist temptation.His conclusion is not taken for granted.

The Classic Marshmallow Experiment
Mitchell specially set up a marshmallow experiment to test children's patience and willpower.

In the experiment, he gathered a group of 4-year-old children and put each person in turn in a room with a marshmallow, cookie, and pretzel on the table.He told the kids they could choose to eat the treats now or wait 15 minutes for extra marshmallows, cookies and pretzels.After speaking, he left the room.

Both Caroline and her brother Craig participated in the experiment.As an adult, Caroline did not have a clear memory of the experiment, and the scientist who conducted the experiment refused to disclose information about the subjects, but she had a strong feeling that she chose to wait and ate two marshmallows. "I'm good at waiting," says Caroline. "Give me a challenge or a task, and I'll find a way to do it, even if it means giving up my favorite food."

Her mother, Karen Sortinno, was even more affirmative: "Caroline has been very patient since she was a child. I'm sure she must have chosen to wait."

Craig remembers the experiment vividly: "I couldn't wait to eat those snacks."

The video of the experiment was very interesting: during the short waiting period, the children behaved in various ways.Some children covered their eyes with their hands and turned around, deliberately not looking at the dishes on the table; others kept kicking the table or pulling their hair.A boy with parted hair carefully glanced around to make sure that no one was watching him, so he reached out and took out a biscuit from the plate, broke it open and licked off the white cream in the middle, then closed the biscuit and put it back plate, with a smug smile on his face.

Most children, like Craig, couldn't resist the temptation in front of them, stared at the marshmallow, and couldn't wait for 30 seconds before eating the marshmallow.There are also children who can last for 3 minutes.Only about 30 percent of the children managed to wait until Mitchell returned.

The experiment did not end here. In order to further study, Mitchell started the tracking experiment.What he found: Children who weren't good at waiting grew up to have lower SAT scores, poor resilience to stress, poor concentration, and poor social skills.Kids who can wait 15 minutes have excellent SAT scores.Caroline is typical of someone who is good at waiting.She graduated from Stanford University, received a Ph.D. in social psychology from Princeton, and is currently an assistant professor of psychology at Poussom University.

Mitchell and his colleagues continued to follow the subjects of the marshmallow experiment until they entered their [-]s.Ozlem Aduk, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, found that children who were not good at waiting were more likely to be overweight and use drugs as adults.

In later experiments, Professor Mitchell found that although there are genetic factors in self-control, this self-control can be changed in acquired exercise or under guidance.

Some of the children who failed the marshmallow experiment as children had high levels of self-control as adults.The key to this change is to switch the current thinking and attention - when the children imagine those marshmallows as cotton balls or white clouds, the anxious expression on their faces will gradually disappear, and they will immediately devote themselves to more activities with great interest. Go in the association activities.In this way, the children no longer want to eat the marshmallow eagerly, and their self-control ability is greatly improved.Those children who could not wait even 1 minute can wait 15 minutes after switching attention.

So, once we realize that self-control is actually learning how to control our attention and thoughts, it is not difficult to learn how to enhance it.

Self-control expert hot comment
It is easier to control spur-of-the-moment and seemingly overwhelming desires simply by shifting your current thoughts and attention.In fact, this is one of the manifestations of self-control ability: to control the focus of attention, so that our decisions will not be disturbed by wrong thoughts.

Let the subconscious mind do its bidding
The power of human beings lies in the huge spiritual energy that is as endless as the universe in the subconscious. This energy is far beyond your imagination. Many seemingly incredible and brilliant achievements in the world are mostly the embodiment of this energy.

Self-control is the motor of the subconscious mind

Your self-control tells you that you must believe in the will you set, otherwise, your doubts will destroy your will, demagnetize the subconscious mind, and eventually lead to unsatisfactory results, or get the exact opposite results.If you can stick to your blueprint and work hard for the wishes in your heart for a long time, then your inner subconscious will help you and bring you any resources you need to realize your wishes, so that you can achieve tried and tested success within the specified time.

We all know the importance of the subconscious mind to people. Many scientists in the world have used the subconscious mind to achieve scientific results.

The famous chemist Friedrich Stradonis spent many hours in the laboratory wondering how the six carbon and six hydrogen atoms of gasoline are arranged in the molecular formula.This question puzzled him for a long time, but he never found the answer.

Once when he was driving to London, his subconscious mind suddenly showed him that a snake was biting its own tail and circling like a toy windmill.His problem solved.This is how the circular arrangement of the benzene ring atoms known to people came about.

Professor Agassiz had been identifying the species of a fish fossil in the stone slab for several weeks. This fish fossil was somewhat vague from the outside.Under exhaustion, he still didn't recognize it.One night he dreamed about the rest of the fish.

He tried to remember the details of the fish in his dream, but couldn't.He returned to the studio, trying to look at the fish fossils and retrace the impressions from his dreams, but to no avail.The next day, he dreamed about the fish again, but he forgot about it when he woke up.On the third night, before he went to bed, he put a pencil and a piece of paper by his bed, hoping to dream about fish again.Sure enough, when he was about to wake up in the morning, he dreamed of the fish again, and it was very clear; he vaguely drew the fish in the dark with a pen and paper.When he got up in the morning, he hurried to the studio and chiselled with a chisel according to his sketch on the paper. When the fish fossil was fully exposed, it was exactly the same as the fish he drew.At last he succeeded in identifying the species of fish.

It is precisely because of continuous attention that the content of attention is written into the subconscious mind of the brain, and the subconscious mind starts to work by itself without our attention.If you can fully recognize this extraordinary energy, take it seriously, make it deeply integrated into your vivid and powerful being, and become an extremely solid part of your physical and spiritual self.In this way, you can completely control the destiny of your life.

Break through yourself and release your potential.

So, how do you master this treasure trove of energy?The method is simple: first acknowledge and face up to the existence of this energy, which already exists in you and supports your physical and external activities.Second, use self-control to break through yourself and release your potential.

The subconscious will not activate by itself, and he must use another force to awaken the subconscious, allowing it to move forward smoothly on the prescribed path and within the prescribed time.This power to master the direction of the subconscious is another important power in the human brain-self-control.

It is not a profound science to use self-control to control the subconscious mind. Here is a very simple way, that is, under the detection and filtering of self-control, repeat your daily behaviors and actions that are beneficial to your will, so that you can experience them in your subconscious mind. Translated into procedural inertia.In other words, it works automatically without thinking.The power of this kind of automatic operation is very huge, and it will cause great changes to its main body in the long run.

(End of this chapter)