Super self-control: not being a slave to habit

Chapter 3

I will give a simple example and you will understand it easily.For example, when you are practicing driving in a driving school, you will remind yourself in your mind before every action that you are driving with your "consciousness".Later, when you become proficient and get used to it, you don’t have to think about the sequence of operations one by one, and you will complete this series of actions smoothly. At this time, your unconsciousness is driving.Especially in an emergency, you will involuntarily step on the brakes.This is because your driving skills have penetrated into the "subconscious mind", so even if you don't have time to think about operating skills, you can use your hands and feet freely.

Self-control expert hot comment
In the practice of self-control, we should also use this method effectively, repeating some good behavior habits and thoughts many times, let them slowly enter your subconscious mind and become habitual actions.In this way, a "long-term mechanism" of self-control can be established to achieve the goal you want to dream.

In the contest of willpower, who will win or lose

The communication between people is not just communication and communication, sometimes it is the confrontation between willpower and willpower, either you influence others, or you are influenced by others.Napoleon Hill once said: "Living under the influence of others is tantamount to being captured by the will of others. No matter how good such a person is, he will not be the top leader."

Indeed, willpower is like a person's spiritual business card. It does not require you to take it out of your pocket to make the other person feel his strength.There seems to be a powerful luminous body in some people, which emits a dazzling light and envelops people unconsciously.Their influence is powerful and their momentum is sufficient.Because they are extremely confident, as if everything can be retracted freely.Facing such a person, if you are infected by the emotions or behaviors projected by the other party's spiritual business card, it means that you are controlled by the other party's aura.If the other party sends out a kind of positive energy, it cannot be said to be a bad thing.If the other party creates a negative aura, if you lack self-control and do not improve your willpower, it will cause terrible damage to your social life and life.

One day there was a misunderstanding between Napoleon Hill and the administrator of the office building.This misunderstanding led to mutual hatred between the two of them, which even turned into a fierce hostility.In order to show his displeasure with Napoleon Hill, the administrator immediately turned off all the lights in the building when he knew that Napoleon Hill was the only one working in the office in the whole building.This happened several times in a row, and finally Napoleon Hill decided to "counterattack".One Sunday, the opportunity came. Napoleon Hill went to his study to prepare a speech to be delivered the next evening. When he sat down at his desk, the lights went out.Napoleon Hill immediately jumped up and ran to the basement of the building, where he knew the administrator could be found.

When Napoleon Hill got there, he found the steward busily feeding coal shovel by shovel into the boiler, whistling as if nothing had happened.

Napoleon Hill immediately yelled at him.For five minutes he lashed out at him with words hotter than the fire in the boiler the caretaker was tending.In the end, Napoleon Hill couldn't think of any curse words, so he slowed down.At this time, the administrator stood up straight and turned his head with a cheerful smile on his face.And in a soft voice full of calm and self-control: "You were a little excited this morning, weren't you?"

His words were like a sharp dagger, piercing Napoleon Hill's body at once.Think about what Napoleon Hill must have felt then.Standing before Napoleon Hill was an illiterate man who could neither write nor read, but despite all his shortcomings he had defeated himself in this battle, not to mention the occasion and the weapons. It was his own choice, and Napoleon's conscience pointed a finger of condemnation at himself.Napoleon Hill knew that he was not only defeated but, what was worse, active and on the wrong side, all this only added to his humiliation.

In anger, Napoleon Hill turned around and returned to the office as quickly as possible.When Hill reflected on the matter, he immediately saw his mistake.But, frankly, he is very reluctant to take action to undo his mistakes.

Napoleon Hill knew that he had to apologize to that man.Only then can the heart be at peace.At last it took him a long time to make up his mind, and he decided to go down to the basement and suffer the humiliation he had to endure.Napoleon Hill came to the basement and called the caretaker to the door.The administrator asked in a calm, gentle tone, "What do you want to do this time?"

Napoleon Hill told him, "I've come back to apologize for my actions—if you will take it." The administrator, with that smile on his face again, said, "In the love of God, you don't have to ask I apologize. No one heard what you just said except these four walls, and you and me. I won't say it, and I know you won't, so we might as well Just forget about it."

These words hurt Napoleon Hill even more than his first words.Because he not only expressed his willingness to forgive Napoleon Hill, but actually expressed his willingness to assist Napoleon Hill in concealing the matter and not letting it be publicized, so as not to cause harm to Napoleon Hill.Napoleon Hill walked up to him, grabbed his hand, and shook it vigorously; Napoleon Hill shook his hand not only with his hands, but with his heart.On the way back to his office, Napoleon Hill was in a good mood because he finally found the courage to undo what he had done wrong.

After this incident, Napoleon Hill made up his mind that he would never lose self-control again.Because once out of control, no matter who it is, he can easily defeat him.After making this determination, significant changes took place in Hill immediately. His articles exerted more power, his speeches gained more weight, his friends increased, and his enemies relatively decreased a lot.

Self-control shows a tendency to try to dominate and command oneself and others, so that a person takes various persuasion, suggestion and even action to influence the thoughts, feelings or behavior of others.Whether it is a negotiation statement, the removal of interpersonal barriers, or the resolution of conflicts between the two parties, people with strong self-control will take the initiative to achieve the realization of their inner desires and goals.Therefore, this type of person can usually have a strong influence in a crowd or team.The influence of a strong willed person cannot be underestimated.People with weak willpower are easily influenced by other people's emotions, which include positive emotions and negative emotions.Here is a special mention of negativity.

boost your immunity

Whether at work or in life, we are inevitably not infected by the negative signals around us, so how to improve our "immunity" to negative signals?

First, try to stay away from negative signal sources if you can.

If we see people around us who smoke, drink, gamble, or are always resentful, under his guidance, of course, he may be unintentional, but our self-control will still be reduced.You will think of the few unlucky things you have encountered recently, and you will feel that the boss is really harsh... Please try to stay away from such friends, no matter how strong your "immunity" is, there is no guarantee that you will not be affected by being with them for a long time.

Second, strengthen your willpower.

People with weak willpower are often people who have no opinions and are most susceptible to other people's emotions. When you see other people's behavior conflicting with your own goals, you should be highly vigilant, stick to your goals in your brain, and try your best to respect them. Pass your will, rather than being dragged into the water by him.

Third, change the projection point of willpower.

When you have to be with a negative person, for example, he is a colleague who works with you in the office, and you spend at least 8 hours a day together, escape is not the way, if you show your confrontational emotions, it will aggravate your bad mood .It's better to let your attention be projected on his strengths.

Think about it, when others ignore you, or even treat you indifferently, then, will you feel angry because of their bad attitude?If so, then you need to improve your self-control.

Self-control expert hot comment
Improving self-control involves not only the improvement of self-inner strength, but also the issue of enhancing interpersonal influence.Influence is essentially a form of control.More precisely, influence is a kind of control that people like to accept.It works by a subtle process, changing the behavior, attitudes and beliefs of others in a subconscious way.No one can resist it, because it comes quietly, and before you realize it, you have already been captured by it.Because of this, everyone who wants to be influential must pay attention to the cultivation of self-control.Because unless a person controls himself first, he will be influenced or controlled by others.

make you feel better

The reason why people have pleasant and unpleasant feelings is that the human brain produces different emotional reactions to objective things that directly act on the sensory organs.These emotions are: excitement, pleasure, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger, fear, contempt, shame.Two of the nine basic emotional structures are positive and six are negative.Because people's negative emotions account for the absolute majority, people will enter a bad emotional state without knowing it.

If you're thinking, "I can't stand my boss, what a vampire," that thought is expressing a strong negative feeling you have about your boss, and you're releasing that negative feeling.As a result, your negative emotions will prevent you from viewing your relationship with your boss objectively, and under the influence of this emotion, your relationship with your boss will become worse and worse.

If you're thinking, "I'm surrounded by wonderful people," those words convey a positive feeling about your co-workers, and you're releasing that positive feeling.As a result, your relationship with your colleagues will get better and better.

Feelings are also magnetic, according to the law of attraction.The better you feel—for example, when you feel joy—the more joy you give; and the more joy you give, the more you get.

There is such a "miraculous" story:

When a couple in the UK had their annual physical examination, the wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and the husband with prostate cancer and serious heart disease. One-third of the aorta was blocked. Life is only half a year.

Instead of moaning and sighing, the couple decided to live out their remaining years, so they wrote down the last 50 things they wanted to accomplish on a white paper, and then they sold their London house and used the money to travel around the world superior.During their travels, they almost forgot about being sick, cherished every day, and happily enjoyed the sweetness of being alone together, just like returning to the enthusiasm of their first love, which even others envied.

Half a year later, they returned to London, and when they went to the same hospital for further examination, a miracle happened. The doctor was surprised to find that the cancer cells of the two had disappeared, and even her husband's arterial blockage was much better. This result made the doctor feel very happy. Unbelievable.Later, the doctor believed that this was the effect of positive emotions. A kind of endorphin will be secreted in the brain of happy people, which will increase the lymphocytes in the body, and then enhance the ability to fight cancer cells, so that people can regain their health.

How you feel is a precise measure of what you are releasing moment by moment.When you feel good, you don't have to worry about other things because your thoughts, words and actions will be good.If you're feeling bad, you're sending out a lot of negativity, and it all comes back to you, taking a toll on your health.

American physiologist Alma once did a simple experiment to study the impact of emotions on health.He inserted a glass tube into a container of ice and water mixed at zero degrees Celsius, so as to collect the "gas water" exhaled by people in different emotions.It was found that when the mind is calm, the exhaled breath and the condensed water are clear and transparent, colorless and free of impurities.If angry, a purple precipitate will appear.The researchers injected the "water with purple precipitate" into the white mice, and the mice died a few minutes later.

So, the better you feel, the better you get in life.The worse you feel, the worse you get in life -- until you change how you feel.

"Now I can easily think of the sad things in the past, and I can't control my emotions. I can't say clearly, a word from a friend, a criticism from my boss, a boy I like turns a blind eye to me... some trivial things can make me The bad mood came out of nowhere. It affected me a lot. Before I knew it, I fell into a faint sadness. By the time I realized it, and then recovered, it had been a long time. I tried to use Perseverance overcomes bad moods, but nothing works, and my friends say they do it all the time. I wonder how to overcome bad moods?"

(End of this chapter)