Super self-control: not being a slave to habit

Chapter 8

Ever since the psychologist saw that scene with his own eyes, whenever he felt impatient with the comments he didn't like to hear, he immediately remembered the calm demeanor of the girl behind the counter.And he often thinks this way: everyone should have a pair of "psychological earmuffs", which can sometimes be used to cover their own ears.Personal psychology experts have developed a habit of "closing" their ears to those boring conversations they don't want to hear, so as not to increase hatred and anger after hearing them.Life is short and there is a lot of constructive work to be done, so we don't have to 'fight back' everyone who says something mean.

There used to be a famous effect in psychology called "kicking the cat effect", which was about the emotional contagion of people.When a person has dissatisfaction in his heart, if he does not control himself, it is easy to bring this emotion into his life, "spread" and affect other people.Then, one spread to ten, ten to hundreds, and the scope of influence became wider and wider.

In fact, in real life, we often become transmitters of bad emotions because we don’t know how to restrain ourselves.Usually as long as there is a little dissatisfaction around us, we will start to complain about everything around us. When we vent this resentment on others, others will vent it on others, so that in the end, the "circular retribution" caused by anger will come back to us again. body.

Rehearse your anger ahead of time

"Rehearsal" is a panacea for emotional problems, it can teach you to control anger in advance, so that it will not be out of control when it is really provoked.

Make a list of some of the things that annoy you the most, and then list your "anger levels" in order from lowest to highest.Then start with the lowest item and imagine yourself there as vividly as possible.However, describe the "angry thoughts" in your mind and write them down. Next, imagine you berate the other party angrily, slam the door angrily, and record your anger level, expressed on a scale of 0-100%.Then, re-enter the same mental scene, but with a more rational mind analyzing what caused your anger.You may find that it is only your "angry thoughts" that make you angry.Even when something does happen that annoys you, it is only the way you interpret it that makes you emotionally respond.

Self-control expert hot comment
"You should be responsible for your own emotions", if you think this way, you can freely choose to be angry or not to be angry.

Develop good sleep habits

Researchers have found that people's mood is not only affected by the length of sleep, but also has a lot to do with whether they work and rest on time.

Two research teams in Boston, USA and Manchester, UK, studied the relationship between biological clock, sleep and mood and found that the body's biological clock can determine which hours of the day people are in a good mood.If you wake up when your biological clock is still in the sleep phase, even if you have slept for a long time, you will still feel bad mood; even if you have not slept for two or three days, if your biological clock is in the awake phase, then he will feel emotional soaring.

The biological clock exists in an area of ​​the brain that determines biological rhythms for everything from sleeping and waking to digestion, researchers say.Through a month-long study on 24 healthy young volunteers, they found that when the sleep cycle of the test subjects was extended from 24 hours to 28 hours to 30 hours, their emotional level was affected by two factors: daily sleep conditions and body temperature. Combined impact.

The researchers pointed out that these two new research results allow scientists to judge people's emotions based on their sleep schedule and their own biological clock, and are expected to help doctors treat patients with emotional depression in the future. People who are jet-lagged and those who need to be jet-lagged adapt as quickly as possible.

Due to changes in the body's biological clock, the functions of different areas of the cerebral cortex are also changing from time to time. The research results show that:
8:00 to 11:00 in the morning is the best time for organizing, planning, writing and doing some creative thinking activities.This is the best time to complete the toughest tasks of the day.At the same time, the pain is the least sensitive during this period, and dental treatment is most suitable at this time.

11:00 to 12:00 in the morning is the best time for meetings, and people are most awake at this time.This is an easy time for problem solving and making some complex decisions.

From 12:00 noon to 2:00 pm, the happy mood of the day reaches its climax, which is suitable for commercial and social activities.

From 2:00 to 4:00 in the afternoon, there will be a so-called "afternoon low period".It is prone to sleepiness at this time, it is best to take a nap, or make some necessary phone calls, do some interesting reading, and try to avoid boring activities.

From 4:00 to 6:00 in the afternoon, the human body is freed from the "slump period", and the thinking becomes active again.This is the time to do the more important work of the day, and it's a good time for long-term memory.

From 6:00 to 7:00 in the afternoon, the body temperature is the highest. Doing some exercise at this time will help you fall asleep smoothly at night and improve sleep quality.

From 7:00 to 10:00 in the evening, some serious family topics can be discussed, and it is also the best time to study.

From 10:00 to 12:00 in the evening, the human body is ready to rest, the activities of various organs are extremely slow, and it is time to fall asleep.

At present, the research on the biological rhythm of the human body has been widely used in human health care, ensuring safe production, and guiding people's lives.So when you understand your own biological rhythm, you will make full use of your strengths and avoid weaknesses, and make full use of the climax of your biological rhythm to obtain ideal academic, work and scientific achievements.Properly adjust and arrange your own life during the low tide period to improve adaptability and reduce the adverse effects of biological rhythms.

Everyone has their own sleep patterns and habits. Some people like to go to bed early and get up early, which is the so-called "lark" type;What are the characteristics of these two different sleep patterns?

The so-called "lark" sleepers wake up very early every day, get up and move around, and devote themselves to the work of the day full of energy. In the afternoon, their work efficiency will gradually decrease. Go to bed and fall asleep soon. Such people generally seldom suffer from insomnia.The so-called "owl-like" sleepers, after waking up in the morning, turn over slowly, drowsy, reluctant to leave the bed, dawdling for a long time, after reluctantly getting up, the work efficiency in the morning is not high, and the spirit slowly comes up in the afternoon. The energy is the strongest after nightfall, working until late at night without feeling tired, it seems that there is endless energy, only forced to go to bed the next day because there is work to be done, this kind of people can hardly fall asleep even if they are asked to go to bed early.

The Sleep Research Center of Stanford University School of Medicine found that the development of this rhythm has a certain relationship with work.People who have been engaged in agricultural labor for a long time are mostly "lark type". Their main work is in the daytime. Owl-like, they often use the quiet nights to work.

Recently, researchers at the Biological Rhythm Laboratory at the Chicago Medical Center pointed out that sleeping late on weekends is not a good thing for most people, because it will disrupt the body's biological clock and delay sleep time, making it difficult to fall asleep on Sunday night and sleep on Monday morning. Drowsy, and this disordered state even takes days to return to normal.

According to the different division of labor in human society, it can be divided into two types of biological rhythms: morning type and evening type.Research by foreign scholars has found that among employees, morning type accounts for 28%, mental workers account for the majority at night, and half of manual workers are "arrhythmic" type (non-rhythmic type).And your sleep habits are related to your energy and work status the next day, so you must adapt to your own sleep biological rhythm, that is, develop your own sleep habits.

Find your best sleep time
Since human beings have formed a biological rhythm and biological clock that synchronizes the human body with nature in the long-term natural evolution process, and human beings must adapt to this biological rhythm if they want to survive, and sleep is an indispensable content in human life. Therefore, you must Observe your own work and rest rules, that is, when you should rest, you must not break this rule, so as to ensure high-quality sleep.

If you want to find out the right sleep time, you may wish to conduct experiments like this:
For the first week, go to bed at your usual bedtime every night;
For the second week, go to bed an hour later every day;

For the third week, go to bed an hour earlier every day.

If you fall asleep within half an hour of going to bed and wake up feeling refreshed, you're close to your own well-slept time.

Self-control expert hot comment
Your sleep habits are related to your energy and work status the next day, so you must adapt to your own sleep biological rhythm, that is, develop your own sleep habits.

How high is your emotional control ability?

Do you want to know how to control your emotions?Please complete the following test carefully.

1.When you are driving and suddenly it rains heavily, you will
A．Happy, I feel more cheerful when it suddenly rains

B．general, feeling normal
C．Furious, complaining about why it suddenly rained
2.In the hot summer, if you accidentally collide with others on the road while driving, you will
A．Get out of the car to apologize or say hello to someone

B．ignore it and keep going
C．get angry, scold someone

3.Your friends or family members scold you loudly, you will

A．Explain the reconciliation to the other party
B．ignore it and go away
C．angry, yelling

4.When you are upset and unhappy, you will
A．Talk about your worries to friends or family

B．go out to relax
C．vent to people or things around

5.You accidentally lost something you like very much, you will
A．Learn from this lesson calmly and be more careful in the future

B．tangled, unhappy

C．to vent one's anger on one's surroundings

6.When you are sick and can only recuperate in bed, and you see others having fun or doing a good job outside, you will
A．Concentrate on recuperation

B．depressed, unhappy

C．I'm restless, complaining about my illness all the time

7.When you are happy and excited, you will
A．Share the joy with your friends or family

B．hold back your excitement

C．Very proud, spread it everywhere

8.When you've been looking for a job and haven't found it for a long time, you will

A．Summarize the lessons of failure, improve your ability, and continue to find

B．It doesn't matter, keep looking

C．troubled, restless, impatient

9.Your boyfriend/girlfriend did something that displeased you, would you
A．Talk to each other calmly to reconcile

B．ignore it when nothing happened

C．Indiscriminately scold him/her directly

10.You did something that made your boyfriend/girlfriend very unhappy, would you
A．Apologize, try to make the other person happy

B．ignore his/her feelings
C．against him (her)
Scoring criteria:

3 points for A, 1 point for B, and 0 points for C

Test Results:

24 points or above: high emotional self-control, able to withstand the test of life's storms.

18 points or above: The self-control ability of emotions is average, and can cope with ordinary life tests, but it is difficult to effectively control unexpected events, and it is necessary to actively exercise to control one's emotions.

Below 8 points: The self-control of emotions is poor, the mood is easily influenced by the outside world, the mood fluctuates greatly, and it is difficult to stand the test of life, and it is necessary to strengthen exercise to control one's emotions.

(End of this chapter)