The Psychology of Microexpressions: Psychological Strategies in Relationships

Chapter 18 Unveiling the Mask of the Lie——Psychological Strategies for Insight into Lies (6)
In fact, there is no pure gold, and no one is perfect.Many times, the boss will make some inappropriate decisions on some inappropriate occasions, which may be deliberately making things difficult or lack of ability.This is enough to interfere with our work and destroy our careers.It is not the solution if we just passively accept it.However, the boss holds great power and is condescending. If we fight back fiercely, we may be the ones who are injured.So what should we do?In fact, at this time, it is also a good choice to decisively, boldly, and bravely "speak" to the boss and give opinions to the boss.Everyone has a side that yearns for good things. If we can make some "suggestions" to our boss at the right time, maybe we will be appreciated by the boss.

Of course, what I have to emphasize here is that you can’t give advice to the leader directly, you must pay attention to a little psychological strategy, and you must use some small skills appropriately.Otherwise, we will set ourselves on fire.That is to say, when we put forward opinions to our superiors or leaders, we must judge the situation. We must first try to figure out the state of mind of the superiors or leaders at that time, and then organize our words and "suggest" to the superiors or leaders. Only in this way can we improve the leadership's acceptance The possibility of our proposal may even lead to the leaders' favor and attention to us.In fact, if our opinions are practical and our attitude is sincere, then the boss will not reject it outright.

Let's look at such a short story:

Shortly after Chu State was defeated by Jin State in Chengpu, King Chu Cheng was killed by his son Shangchen.The merchant became the king of the country, and he became the king of Chu Mu.

King Mu of Chu was not reconciled to the failure, so he stepped up to train his soldiers and horses, and vowed to fight the state of Jin.He first annexed several small nearby countries, and then pulled Chen, Zheng and other countries in the Central Plains over.In the sixth year of King Qing of Zhou, when King Mu of Chu was about to be ambitious, he suddenly fell ill and died.His son Lu came to the throne, the famous Chuzhuang King.

The state of Jin saw that the state of Chu was busy with the funeral, so they reunited with the princes and made a covenant.After that, the state of Jin immediately took Chen, Zheng and other countries that Chu had pulled over to their sphere of influence.

At this moment, the ministers of the Chu State were all anxious, and they all expressed their intention to fight the Jin State.However, King Zhuang of Chu was indifferent.Within three years after succeeding to the throne, what King Zhuang of Chu did every day was to eat, drink and have fun.He hunted and drank all day, ignored political affairs, and hung a big sign at the gate of the palace, which read:

"Those who make an admonishment will be killed without pardon!"

On this day, the doctor Wu Ju went to see the king of Chu.King Zhuang of Chu was holding a wine glass in his hand, chewing venison in his mouth, watching the singing and dancing drunkenly.He squinted his eyes and asked, "Does the doctor come here to drink, or to watch singing and dancing?"

Wu Ju said something in his words: "Someone asked me to guess a riddle, but I couldn't figure it out no matter what, so I came here to ask you for advice."

While drinking, King Zhuang of Chu asked, "What riddle is so difficult to guess? Tell me."

Wu Ju said: "The riddle is: There is a big bird in Chujing, which lives in the court hall. It lasted for three years, and it did not sing or fly. It is very difficult to solve. Which one is it? Please guess, it will not sing. No flying. What kind of bird is this?"

After hearing this, King Zhuang of Chu understood what Wu Ju meant, and said with a smile, "I guessed it. It's not an ordinary bird. This bird won't fly for three years, but once it soars into the sky; it won't sing for three years, It's a blockbuster. You'll see."

Wu Ju understood what King Zhuang of Chu meant, and withdrew happily.

A few months later, the big bird King Zhuang of Chu was still the same, neither "singing" nor "flying", but still hunting, drinking, enjoying singing and dancing.Doctor Su Cong couldn't bear it any longer, so he came to see King Zhuang.As soon as he entered the palace gate, he burst into tears.King Zhuang of Chu said: "Sir, why are you so sad?"

Su Cong replied, "I'm sad that I'm about to die. I'm also sad that the state of Chu is about to perish." King Zhuang of Chu was surprised and asked, "How can you die? How can the state of Chu perish?"

Su Cong said: "I want to advise you. If you don't listen, you will definitely kill me. You watch songs and dances all day long, play and hunt, and don't care about government affairs. Isn't the end of Chu State in sight?"

After hearing this, King Zhuang of Chu was furious and reprimanded Su Cong: "Do you want to die? I have already said that I will kill whoever comes to persuade you. Now you know what to do, you are really stupid!"

Su Cong said very sadly: "I am stupid, but you are even more stupid than me. If you kill me, I will get the reputation of a loyal minister after I die; if you continue like this, Chu State will perish sooner or later. You have become the king of subjugation. Aren't you more stupid than me? I have finished speaking, so you can kill if you want."

King Zhuang of Chu suddenly stood up.Said emotionally: "The doctor's words are all good advice, I will definitely do as you say."

Immediately, King Zhuang of Chu issued an order to disband the band and dismiss the dancers, determined to make a big career out of it.This is how the hegemony of King Zhuang of Chu began.

Before the king of Chu Zhuang issued the ban of "those who make admonishments, they will not be pardoned", how did Wu Ju and Su Cong persuade the stubborn King Zhuang of Chu?The "knowledge" in this is worth pondering.Through this little story, we can get the following enlightenment: even if we are stubborn superiors or leaders, as long as we can take scientific and reasonable persuasion measures, as long as we are good at "attacking the mind", effectively "advising" or getting the leaders to adopt our suggestions It is also possible.

That is to say, in the workplace, it’s not that you can’t give advice to the boss or give advice to the boss. The key is that we must pay attention to psychological strategies, be good at understanding the psychology of the boss or the leader, and master some advice and advice to the boss. Tips and methods for making suggestions to your boss.

Here are some of our little suggestions:

(1) Most of the bosses prefer to listen to suggestions. Smart subordinates must learn to skillfully transform "opinions" into "suggestions".

(2) When making comments, you must put yourself in the position of the boss, not only put forward opinions, but more importantly, put forward solutions to problems.

Only in this way can you win the trust and appreciation of your boss.

(3) Pay attention to "sincere attitude and moderate speech" when speaking, and express your meaning appropriately.Even if your boss doesn't fully agree with you, it won't affect his opinion of you personally.

(4) For a smart and wise boss, you don’t have to be in the office when you give advice. You can take advantage of his pleasure, chat and joke, and casually express your opinions gently Throw it over and let him understand.

(5) Suggestions should not involve the views and plans of the boss, but should explain the facts, ideas, and plans that you know, and explain that "this is not necessarily true, it is only for the boss's reference." In fact, the more well-intentioned and constructive Suggestions are more likely to be accepted by the boss.

(6) For a boss who is irritable and self-righteous, pay attention to the other party's reaction when talking, and judge whether he accepts your point of view through facial expressions and body language.If you don't accept it, don't be too persistent, let him hit the wall and turn around, and he will thank you even more and appreciate your foresight.

(7) The boss is also an ordinary person, and he may not always be in a good mood because he is busy with official duties every day.So, learn to choose the right time to say the right thing.Generally, when I just go to work in the morning, the boss is in a good mood and the conversation is very efficient.Before leaving get off work, he has been busy all day and is extremely irritable, so don't add fuel to the fire.

(8) Make suggestions when the boss is happy.People tend to accept opinions easily when they are happy.Entertainment is a rare opportunity for the boss to relax. Suggestions to the boss during entertainment are more likely to be accepted by the boss.At this time, you can adopt the method of subtly conveying ideas, or you can use the method of ingeniously extending the topic.

The last thing to remind is that when making suggestions to your boss, you must first affirm the other party's opinion.When making suggestions, pay attention to expounding your opinions positively and well-founded.Democracy requires democratic qualities, that is, you must know how to respect the opinions of others and your superiors, so that your superiors will recognize your talents.We need to be more cautious when making suggestions for the boss’s personal work. We need to seriously consider the characteristics of our boss and study how he likes to accept the opinions of his subordinates.Joking suggestions can be used for careless bosses, written suggestions can be used for serious bosses, individual suggestions can be used for self-respecting bosses, suggestions can be incorporated into rewards for bosses who like to listen to praise, and so on.

(End of this chapter)