The Psychology of Microexpressions: Psychological Strategies in Relationships

Chapter 24 The Law of Influence in the Workplace—Psychological Strategies for Building a Good Relationship with Customers (1)
The customer sitting across from you, at this moment, do you know what he is thinking?If you don't know, don't speak easily.Because, if you speak improperly at this time, your opening remarks will undoubtedly be a blow to the other party, making the other party lose confidence and interest in this negotiation.So where does the business start?Therefore, the smartest way at this time is to open the other party's chatterbox first, and figure out what the other party is thinking from the other party's words!
The law of cooperation in Washington: make friends first, then do business

Washington's law of cooperation says that if one person is perfunctory, two people will blame each other, and three people will never achieve anything.This is somewhat similar to the story of the "three monks" we usually tell.That is to say, in the process of teamwork, if everyone's intelligence can be brought into full play, the whole team will get twice the result with half the effort, and if everyone's strength cancels out each other, then the strength of the team is not as great as that of one person. .

In a team, in order to achieve effective cooperation between people, it is not simply a simple addition of manpower, but it is much more complicated and subtle.Because man is not a static object, he is more like various energies in different directions. When they push each other, they will get twice the result with half the effort, and when they conflict with each other, nothing will be achieved.Therefore, in cooperation, assuming that everyone's ability is 1, then the result of 10 people's cooperation is sometimes much greater than 10, and sometimes even smaller than 1.

Those who have caught crabs must know that when a crab is put in the basket, the lid must be covered, because it can easily climb up.And if you put a lot of crabs in the basket, you don't need to cover it, and you don't have to worry about the crabs crawling out.Because as long as one crab wants to climb up, other crabs will cling to it and pull it down.The final result can only be that not a single crab can get out.

Today, the world-renowned Continental Airlines in the United States was once on the verge of bankruptcy and was rated as the worst service by customers. In 1994, after the drastic reform by the newly appointed CEO Besson, the company's performance has been greatly improved, and it has been rated as the "Best Customer Service Branch" three times since then.

As soon as Bessen took office, he began to review the internal problems of the organization. Soon, he found that one of the crux of the problem was that "the internal employees of the airline are extremely unhappy at work, have no centripetal force, and lack teamwork spirit." Therefore, He quickly found the entry point for reform, that is, starting from changing the way employees work, and vigorously promoting teamwork within the company to change the working atmosphere and the way employees cooperate.

Facts have proved that Bessen's reform is successful. The teamwork of Continental Airlines not only changed the attitude of employees, but also successfully rewritten the history and destiny of Continental Airlines.

Besson's unique success lies in his successful use of the "Washington Law of Cooperation" in psychology to change the internal structure and cooperation mode of employees, turning the originally contradictory forces into one with a unified direction.This is the weakness of human nature. Due to mutual suspicion, people cannot complete friendly cooperation.Is it impossible for people to cooperate with each other and to achieve a win-win situation?In fact, it is very simple. When cooperating with others, as long as you give priority to the interests of the other party, instead of blindly seeking self-interest and setting up many obstacles between you and the other party, the problem will be solved easily.

Shan Guanghua, 33 years old this year, is in his thirties. Through his own hard work, he has made some achievements in his career. At the beginning of the year, he registered his own company. Although the scale is small, he has become the boss after all. , It can also be regarded as a new starting point in life.However, he found that the position of the boss that he had envied for a long time was not so easy to sit in, and the business affairs also went smoothly as he expected.In the past few days, Changsha was holding an industry symposium. Shan Guanghua briefly explained the matter at hand to the secretary, and then rushed over without stopping. He hoped that he would gain something there.

At the symposium, many celebrities came, among them Mr. Xu is the "big brother" in the industry that Shan Guanghua is engaged in.Many companies regard cooperation with Mr. Xu as the goal of their own companies.Shan Guanghua is no exception.However, after the whole symposium, Shan Guanghua did not stalk Mr. Xu like people from other companies, but simply greeted him and exchanged business cards.

However, after the symposium, Mr. Xu's sentence "Product quality is one aspect, the key is the later service." Shan Guanghua couldn't get rid of it, and he pondered over the meaning of this sentence repeatedly.Later, various business meetings were held successively across the country, and Shan Guanghua met Mr. Xu several times.As the saying goes, once born, second acquaintance, they slowly chatted like old friends.However, Shan Guanghua has never expressed his desire to cooperate with Mr. Xu.Later, Shan Guanghua often talked with Mr. Xu about work and life in text messages and phone calls.In this way, two big men who are not in the same city will occasionally chat on the phone and tell each other their "heartfelt".

Soon, a year passed.During this year, Shan Guanghua and Mr. Xu became good friends on the phone, but they haven't started any real business dealings until now.Many of Shan Guanghua's friends, knowing that Shan Guanghua had caught such a big fish but didn't take the bait for a long time, all laughed at him for being stupid.But Shan Guanghua always laughed it off.

In fact, friendship is not a kind of harvest, it can even be said to be a cooperation, but in this kind of cooperation, what is gained from each other is not material wealth, but spiritual wealth.In the process of making friends with Shan Guanghua, Mr. Xu gave Shan Guanghua advice many times, which saved the fledgling Shan Guanghua from many detours.The competition is cruel, but Mr. Xu's suggestion can always make Shan Guanghua brighten another village when Shan Guanghua suspects that there is no way out.

Written here, presumably the result is self-evident.Shan Guanghua has not only become a good friend of Mr. Xu, but they have also become loyal partners.

There are countless companies that want to cooperate with Mr. Xu. In the end, the little-known Shan Guanghua successfully signed a contract with Mr. Xu.This surprised those company bosses who thought they were many times stronger than Guanghua Company.

What did Shan Guanghua rely on to win the final victory?Obviously not the strength of the company, but a sincerity, a sincerity from the heart.Now people seem to have a consensus, that is not to cooperate with their good friends, because in the end, the bamboo basket will always be empty, the business will not be done, and it will hurt the peace.In fact, as long as we analyze a little bit, we will find that such "friends" still put their own interests first, instead of thinking from the standpoint of the other party. Once things go wrong, they will blame each other. And I always feel that I have made the greatest contribution to the team, even if I sit back and enjoy the benefits, I take it for granted.This kind of cooperation is like ignorant crabs. In the end, none of them will be able to crawl out.

Therefore, if you want to cooperate sincerely with others, the most important thing is to show your sincerity, not superficial flattery.You know, such a trick can easily be exposed in front of others.The only thing that can stand the test of time is sincerity. Don’t worry that your sincerity will not be seen by others. Business is not a battlefield for cold-blooded people. People still need warmth. As long as you give sincerely, you will get sincere returns from others.To have a good business, the first thing people think of is still their friends!

The Background Effect: Learn to Use Your "Background"

In life, when people evaluate and look at a person, they often naturally relate to his background, such as family background, social background, educational background, etc., and then make an evaluation of this person.This is especially true when making a new friend.Psychologists call this psychological effect the "background effect."

The background effect is a very common psychological reaction.When we intend to get to know a person, we often do so through the information passed on by others or some information about him. In fact, this is to understand his "background".Through these "backgrounds", people make a preliminary understanding and evaluation of this person.This is like a halo behind the Buddha statue, which perfectly sets off the mystery and solemnity of the Buddha statue.If a person has a good background, even if they meet for the first time, they can always earn popularity for themselves.

However, some backgrounds are innate, while some backgrounds are found and established by oneself.No one can do it once and for all, let alone the lucky ones who can sit back and enjoy it forever.Therefore, even if you don't have a good family background, education background, life background, etc., it's not a big deal.Because social relations are constantly changing, as long as you put your heart into it, your "background" will continue to be superior, and if you use it properly, it will bring you a turning point in your destiny and unlimited wealth.

Elie, just graduated from university, her initial dream was to enter a certain company after graduation.However, after graduation, she missed the opportunity to interview with that company due to various reasons.

After Elie's father knew his daughter's wish, he decided to help his daughter.It turned out that one of their neighbors happened to work for that company, and the father decided to use the "background" that he greeted him every morning in the elevator to get close to that gentleman.To be honest, even he himself was not sure about such an approach, and he wondered if that gentleman would be willing to help.However, the next morning, when Elie's father met the gentleman in the elevator, he tentatively expressed his request.

But afterwards, Elie's father learned that the gentleman was just an ordinary employee in that company.Still, Elie's father got the names and phone numbers of certain executives from him.Later, Elie made a tentative call with the phone list.One of the numbers is that of Mr. John, the office of the president of the company.Mr. John answered Elie's call in a friendly manner and told her who to go to and who was in charge of the interview.In this way, according to the prompt in the previous call, Elie made several calls in succession.For the last time, Elie did a trick and told the person who answered the phone: "Mr. John, let me call you to discuss the interview."

Since it was an interview arranged by the president, of course that person dared not neglect it.In this way, Elie "resurrected from the dead", let what seemed hopeless, but finally got an ideal job unexpectedly because of his father's "help" and his own "little trick".

The reason why Elie was able to finally get a job that satisfied him was obviously because he made use of his "social background". Bring a turnaround.Therefore, no one is willing to set up obstacles for one's own interpersonal communication. Appropriate use of one's "background" can always make the communication smoother and bring oneself good luck.Therefore, it is very necessary to have a correct view of social relations and background. Maybe it can open a window for you when you feel that there is no way ahead.Next, let's take a look at the following example!
Wang Meina previously worked as a staff member in a cultural company. Two years later, she has matured in all aspects, but the only thing she is dissatisfied with is her treatment.In order to build a better development platform for herself, she decided to change jobs.After two days of wandering around various recruitment websites, Wang Meina finally submitted her resume with a purpose. She received an interview notice that afternoon.

The next day, Wang Meina went out early, but who knew, the bus was blocked after less than two stops.In this way, when Wang Meina arrived at the company, the interview was over, so she had no choice but to go back.But just when Wang Meina was about to walk out of the office building, a familiar figure suddenly walked past her, "Hey, isn't that Mr. Liu whom I met at the symposium last time?" "Mr. Liu, hello !"

Wang Meina hurriedly greeted her.Hearing Wang Meina's call, Mr. Liu was stunned for a moment, and then said: "Hello!" "I'm here for an interview, but there was a traffic jam, so I'm late." Wang Meina hurriedly said apologetically.Mr. Liu pointed to the front with his finger and said: "Go straight in, the second to last office on the left is Secretary Zhou's office, and she is in charge of today's interview." "Oh, okay, thank you, Mr. Liu." Wang Meina thanked Liu Sir, hurry to Secretary Zhou's office.

When Wang Meina walked into Secretary Zhou's office, Secretary Zhou was packing up the resumes on the desk. Obviously, the interview was over. "What's the matter?" Secretary Zhou asked. "Hello, I'm here for an interview. Mr. Liu asked me to contact you." Wang Meina said with a smile. "Oh, is that so? Then sit down!" The secretary looked up at Wang Meina and made a gesture of giving up her seat.

In this way, Wang Meina got a long-awaited and "hard-won" job, so she worked harder.Soon, she had some success at work.

Whether it is Elie or Wang Meina, the reason why they can get a job that does not seem to belong to them is obviously that they have used their "social background".People who work hard in the workplace inevitably deal with people.Someone said: "There is only one person who can succeed without dealing with people, and that is Van Gogh, but he did not succeed until 500 years after his death." May I ask, do you have the courage and ability of Van Gogh? ?If not, learn to communicate from now on!To learn to communicate, it is obvious that you need to use your own "background", whether it is family background, educational background, or your own social background, it can be used for it.Don't be arrogant and think that such "use" is a kind of calculation, because using one's social relationship to create value is a legitimate means.Moreover, when we encounter trouble in the workplace, we will naturally think of looking for "old acquaintances", which is obviously using our "background".

When interacting with people, don't throw away any business card easily. If possible, try to remember as many people's names as possible.

Because, the next time you have a chance to meet, if you can call out the other person's name immediately, your relationship will go further.The establishment of these relationships is like a halo behind yourself. The bigger the halo, the easier it is for you to stand out.The most important thing is that your social relationship is established step by step in this way, and your "background" will also be superior. When you communicate, you will feel like a fish in water.

External cause effect: learn to pack your social image
External cause refers to the external cause of the change and development of things, that is, the mutual connection and mutual influence between one thing and other things.Usually, the changes and development of things fail to achieve the expected purpose due to lack of mature external factors.In daily communication, it is very necessary to skillfully use external factors to beautify one's image.This phenomenon is called "external effect" in psychology.

If you want your popularity to skyrocket, and if you want to be a celebrity in the social arena, you must be a person with good popularity.And if you want to have good popularity, you must be a very popular person on any occasion.

(End of this chapter)