The Psychology of Microexpressions: Psychological Strategies in Relationships

Chapter 25 The Law of Influence in the Workplace—Psychological Strategies for Building a Good Relationship with Customers (2)
In fact, almost everyone wants to be a very popular person in human relations.However, in real communication, maybe you are knowledgeable, maybe you can speak eloquently, maybe you can talk elegantly... But even if you have these things that many people envy, you may not be a popular person. When you are in a relationship, you may encounter a lot of troubles.So, how can you be successful in interpersonal communication?We believe that if you want to be successful in interpersonal communication and have good popularity, you must be able to package your social image, and establish a social image in front of others that is sociable, etiquette, talkative, and considerate. Will get good popularity.

Let's look at such a short story:

Chen Chen graduated from a famous university in Beijing. After graduation, he found an advertising planning job in a famous advertising company.

Chenchen's personal ability is very strong, and she has become a capable person in the company within half a year after joining the job.Several sets of advertising programs he presided over and planned have brought considerable social and economic benefits to the company.

According to the rules in the industry, Chenchen should be promoted to department head after one year after achieving this level.However, two years later, he is still a small employee.Why is this?It turns out that Chenchen is a very self-centered person. Relying on his performance, he behaves very high-profile in the company.In Chenchen's eyes, everyone in the company is incompetent, and even the company's boss is insignificant to him.All day long, he looked triumphant and condescending.

In fact, Chenchen's work ability is very strong, and the boss of the company has long wanted to promote him.But every time when it came to the assessment, colleagues said that Chenchen was too personal, difficult to get along with, and had no sense of teamwork, and expressed their unwillingness to work in the department he was in charge of.

In this way, Chenchen has always been one person and one department in the company.When the boss talks about him, he always shakes his head helplessly and says: "He is just arrogant and has too strong a personality. If he is a little more low-key, knows a little bit of communication skills, and gets along with his colleagues better, he will be a perfect employee. gone."

Ordinarily, how good is Chenchen's condition!I have a first-class education background, strong work ability, and many opportunities in the company, but why is it not popular with my colleagues?Why do I always get "squeezed out" by my colleagues?Chenchen's failure lies in his neglect of the packaging of his good social image.Chenchen's troubles may also be the troubles of many people.

In fact, interpersonal communication is like this, you respect me a foot, I will return you a foot, no one likes someone for no reason, and no one hates someone for no reason.In interpersonal communication, the reason why a person is popular or hated by others is entirely determined by his social level, personal taste and the way of dealing with others.If we want to gain good popularity, if we want to be smooth and comfortable in social situations, we must learn to package our social image, and we must establish a healthy and good social image in front of others.This requires us to constantly improve ourselves, improve ourselves, and cultivate ourselves in all aspects, so as to improve our social skills and personal taste, and lay a good foundation for us to win overwhelming popularity.

Let's look at the example of Sun Guodong again. From this young man, we can learn a lot.

Sun Guodong has just graduated from university.After graduation, I found a job in a large foreign company.Although this company is good, Sun Guodong only has a junior college degree, which is much worse than those talented students who graduated from prestigious universities.Because of this, the company's leaders didn't pay attention to him at all.

But Sun Guodong is a smart young man. Knowing that he has low education, he gave full play to his other strengths.In the company, he greets every colleague when he sees them. When the other party needs help, he will extend a helping hand very enthusiastically.When working, he always asks old employees humbly for advice, and expresses his gratitude to the other party after consulting.Because of this, whenever evaluating these young people who have just come to the company, everyone will always say: "Among these people, Xiao Sun is the most sensible, and he greets us when he sees us." I'll ask for advice." Because everyone praised him, and the leaders paid special attention to him.After working in the company for two years, he was promoted by the company leadership.

In life, it is very important to learn how to package yourself. Only in this way can you gain good popularity and interpersonal relationships like Sun Guodong - this is very important for your development.Maybe many people don't understand, how can we package our image skillfully?

In fact, this is also very simple, you can start from the following aspects.

First of all, be humble and self-disciplined, and don't be competitive.No matter when, no matter what occasion, no matter what kind of people we face, the first thing we need to do is to let ourselves learn to be humble and self-disciplined, not to be competitive.That is to say, in social situations, no matter how rich our knowledge and eloquence are, we should always strictly restrain ourselves with a humble attitude.In this way, the establishment and maintenance of our prestige and good image will not be affected, but will also enable us to gain good popularity.

Secondly, when talking to others, be kind and not hurt others.In real life, many people are annoying because of sharp language or "sharp mouth and bean curd heart".This is very detrimental to the establishment of a good social image and the acquisition of good popularity.Therefore, in the process of interacting with people, we must learn to behave in a gentle and gentle manner, and we must avoid hurting others. When we speak, we must think twice before "speaking". At least we have to consider such a question first-whether the other party is willing to listen to us; we also need to learn to think in another way, if our "golden words" are spoken to us by the other party, will we be happy or unhappy?In this way, we will gradually get rid of the problem of "exporting hurting people".

Finally, it is worth noting that when we have conflicts with others, even if we have a reason, we should not be tit-for-tat.Because no one is perfect, how can there be no mistakes in speaking and doing things?Everyone has a bad mood. If what the other person says is unpleasant or even disgusting, we might as well turn a deaf ear to it; She, must I retaliate with harsh words?Even if it is "reasonable", we must learn to "forgive others", which will help us establish a good social image.

Similarity effect: use "similarity" to win the other party's approval
As the saying goes: "Things of a feather flock together, and people are divided into groups." This sentence is to remind everyone that similar people or things are full of attraction.And in daily communication, everyone will also find that people with similar or the same hobbies can always have more topics and talk more speculatively.And once they cooperate, they will be more tacit.Therefore, in the process of interpersonal communication, we can use people's psychology to ask for help and support from others.

In ancient times, there was a man named Zhang who had a strong sense of vanity.Once, he got a beautiful bed.In order to show off this beautiful bed, the man pretended to be sick and bedridden.Relatives and friends came to his house to visit him after hearing about it.After asking about the health and well-being, relatives and friends could not help admiring the owner's new bed when they saw it.

Among the relatives, there is an in-law named You, who is also very vanity.He just wore a new pair of socks that day.In order to show off his favorite socks, he deliberately raised his trousers high, raised his legs to expose the socks, and then asked: "Brother Zhang, how are you sick? What is the disease?" When the patient saw the in-law surnamed You Immediately, I understood the posture, and looked at the in-laws surnamed You and laughed: "Youdi, my illness is the same as yours!"

This story is the source of the idiom "same sickness and pity for each other".Later, people used "sympathy for each other" to describe people who are in the same situation to show sympathy and sympathy for each other.Psychology believes that because of the similarity between people, it will cause emotions or attitudes of liking and attracting each other.In other words, people generally like those who are similar to themselves, which is the "similarity effect".

Let's look at this story again:
Once upon a time, there was a man who was very dark.One day, he took a bath by the well and put soap on the well platform.At this time, a crow flew up, thought the soap was edible, and took it away.

The bather looked up and saw that a black crow had snatched away his soap, and said to himself: "Ha, it is as black as me, and it also needs soap, so take it away!"

Because the crow is as black as himself, this person who is particularly black does not care about soap with the crow, which is also the reason for "same sickness and sympathy".

In fact, people generally have this mentality.People will like those who are very similar to themselves in some places. The similarities here include the similarities in personality, attitudes, beliefs, hobbies, beliefs, social class, race, nationality and many other aspects.

In the process of interpersonal communication, if we can grasp the psychological characteristics of people, we can easily solve many problems in interpersonal communication.For example, when we are asking for help, we can make good use of the psychological "similarity effect" to achieve our goals.

In a food company, there was a salesman in a small store. His job was to drag a cart of goods along the street for sale.One morning, the little clerk came to a small shop.However, before he could say a word, the store owner said to him: "Don't come here, I won't buy your goods, I haven't opened yet, so don't bother me." what!How to do it?He calmed down and thought about it for a while, and then said to the shopkeeper: "I'm a little tired, can I take a rest in front of your shop and have a rest?" The shopkeeper agreed and poured a cup of tea for the salesman.While drinking water, the salesman took advantage of the boss’s free time and complained to the shop owner: “Actually, I really don’t want to do this job. What’s more, there’s no other way. I’ve been laid off for more than half a year, and my wife has also been laid off recently. Life is really hard.” The shop owner continued: “Yes, it’s not easy to make a living! People face many difficulties in life.”

In this way, the two chatted for more than ten minutes.

After more than ten minutes, the salesman put the teacup on the table and stood up to leave.However, before the salesman took the first step, the shop owner said, "How much do you have?"

"There are not many goods worth more than 500 yuan." The salesman said. "Then you keep these goods!" The store owner asked the salesman to keep the goods without even asking about the price or variety of the goods.

(End of this chapter)