The Psychology of Microexpressions: Psychological Strategies in Relationships

Chapter 39 The Rule of Knowing People to Shield "Danger"—Psychological Strategies to Draw a Clear Boundary with Villains (2)
Lulu just moved to a company to work as the boss's secretary. On the first day of work, she felt that the place was pretty good. Everyone seemed to get along fairly well, and the company had a good atmosphere.A good first impression made Lulu breathe a sigh of relief. Her professional acumen told her that in a company, if everyone gets along badly, the secretary will be the first to suffer, because the secretary is directly facing the boss. The boss is the boss of the company. If the subordinates "make things difficult" a little bit, resulting in a slight negligence in work, the boss will "surge" her, and I have nowhere to complain.What's more, she left the previous company because the people below were "uncooperative". In the end, she could only use 36 tricks as the best policy.

However, within a week, Lulu discovered that she had been relieved early. This company also had its own faction, and she had just arrived, and her special position of being under one person and above ten thousand people had to make her Have a good relationship with everyone, otherwise, your work will not be done well.In the first week, facing Lulu's report, the boss was furious, and Lulu was at a loss, "I did it according to the data reported by the warehouse manager Gu Long and the shipper Chen Bin, how could there be such a big loophole?" ?” Lulu didn’t know what went wrong for a moment.

Years of secretarial work experience told her, "Someone must be playing tricks!" So she decided to go to the warehouse to see what happened.

Taking advantage of the staff's meal time at noon, Lulu faced the scorching sun and didn't even bother to eat lunch. When she came to the warehouse to have a look, she was immediately furious.It turned out that the two played tricks together, saying that the goods that were out of stock were in stock, while the goods that were in stock were said to be out of stock, and the reported figures did not match the actual delivery figures at all.

Lulu suddenly understood that the customer's order clearly stated 50 pieces, but the warehouse did not deliver the goods for a long time. It turned out that there were only 10 pieces left in the batch, and the reports reported by Gu Long and Chen Bin were impressive. It says: "In stock".At this time, Lulu wanted to ask Xiaoman Xingshi for a crime.The work of the warehouse manager is very busy most of the time. In order to prevent omissions, Xiaoman is the second-level insurance arranged by the boss in the warehouse.But Lulu looked left and right, but there was no sign of Xiaoman. Later, she found out by calling and asking that she actually went to the dormitory to drink tea and eat snacks during work hours.The most irritating thing is that Lulu asked Xiaoman to fill out a courier form for herself, and she had to proofread it herself, because she was really worried about these people doing things.

Being in such a dangerous shoal is really exhausting, but Lulu knows very well that it will not do her any good to fight against them.With years of work experience, Lulu has already developed the ability to deal with employees.Therefore, instead of criticizing these people, she even chatted and laughed with them.They didn't report them in front of the boss.Because, she knew that would only make things worse.Is it difficult to choose to accept it?of course not.

At the next company meeting, Lulu took the initiative to take responsibility for the "mistakes" at work last time, and even praised several people in the warehouse in front of the boss.In this way, Monk Zhanger, who was in the warehouse, couldn't figure it out. They didn't know what kind of medicine was sold in Lulu's gourd.At first, they all thought that Lulu was a gentleman before a villain, and they knew the truth of the matter better than anyone else.There were ghosts in their hearts, and they must have been a little frightened. For a while, they didn't do anything again.In addition, Lulu often goes to the warehouse to "chat" with them.For a while, everything was calm and everyone lived in peace.

It wasn't until one day that the boss praised several people at a meeting and then gave them a salary increase. They realized that Lulu not only didn't report them, but also acted for them in front of the boss many times. Good words.In this way, they told Lulu the truth of the matter.It turned out that they had been working here for a few years, and other employees of the company had raised their salaries one after another, but they were always missed by the boss. They didn't get their share after several salary increases, and their work was the hardest and hardest. Tired, this can't help but make them complain.However, he didn't dare to express such anger at the boss, so he had to take the boss's secretary for surgery.

Needless to say about the following things, everyone actively cooperated with Lulu's work and did a good job, and the company's performance soared.

At a summary meeting, the boss highly praised his right-hand assistant Lulu, and the salary increase was naturally out of the question.What was different this time was that several employees in the warehouse did not grit their teeth, but congratulated Lulu sincerely!
The "warehouse man" in the case should be regarded as a "villain" at work.Their behavior fully proves this point.Presumably, at work, there are not a few people who encounter similar situations to Lulu, but ask yourself, what is your approach?fly into a rage?Scold me?Report to the boss... In fact, these are very irrational practices.Always remember a warning message at work: "Don't offend villains so easily!"

Doesn't it reflect the "reducing effect of the group" in the relationship field effect?As long as you don't let anger burn your reason, you will soon understand: "At the beginning of human beings, nature is good." No one is born a "little person", and a "little person" must have the difficulties of a "little person".If you are incompatible with the "little man", the result is that you can only harm others and benefit yourself, but befriend the "little man", pull him into your ranks, and row the boat in the same direction as yourself, so that the boat will move faster and more steadily. It is a wise move to drive forward and realize the "enhancement effect of the group"!
Turtle-shell effect: You must not have the heart of harming others, but you must not have the heart of preventing others
There is always a thick shell on the back of the tortoise. This shell will not cause harm to other life, but it can protect its own safety well.Why don't we need such a self-protective shell when communicating with others?It can not only protect itself well from harm, but also prevent others from being hurt.In fact, when communicating with others, especially when the other party is a stranger, everyone has an instinctive reaction of self-protection.This normal psychological reaction is called "turtle shell effect" in psychology.

As the saying goes: "You must not have the heart to harm others, and you must not have the heart to guard against others. The deep ditch will eventually have a bottom, but the human heart is unpredictable." Must have.Because even a deep abyss has a bottom, but a person's mind cannot be guessed. The so-called "people's hearts are separated from the belly", is talking about this truth.

Let's look at such a story first:
Once upon a time there was a farmer who had an enmity with his neighbor because of a trivial matter.This man is narrow-minded, always looking for an opportunity to avenge his neighbors.But after much deliberation, he couldn't find a suitable opportunity for revenge.For this reason, he was very depressed and depressed all day long.

One day, a wise man passed by and saw the farmer sitting in front of his house depressed, and asked, "Why are you so unhappy?

What's on your mind? The farmer replied: "The neighbor has a conflict with me, and I am very angry."I thought that this revenge must be avenged, but after much deliberation, I couldn't think of a good way, so I was always angry and troubled. "

The wise man laughed and said, "It's very simple. I can teach you a spell. As long as you learn it, you can kill your neighbors. However, if you want this spell to work, you must die first." .Are you willing? I think you should not want it, lest you die before your enemy is harmed."

Dazed with hatred, the farmer wanted his neighbor to die immediately, so he couldn't wait to say: "Please tell me the spell!
I am eager for revenge, as long as my enemy can die, I am willing to die first. "The wise man taught the farmer the spell. As a result, the farmer paid his own life for revenge, and died himself before his enemy died.

Hate is just that scary.All hatred and all intentions to harm others have one characteristic: they will harm themselves first before actually harming others, which shows that the intention of harming others cannot exist.

(End of this chapter)