The Psychology of Microexpressions: Psychological Strategies in Relationships

Chapter 7 Answering the Mystery of Overtones—Psychological Strategies in Speech (1)
Wang Xifeng in "Dream of Red Mansions" ushered in her appearance with a burst of hearty laughter. As the saying goes, you hear her voice before seeing her, so that later generations regard this unique voice as Wang Xifeng's main character traits pass down.It can be seen that through a person's voice, we can hear her character and character.Therefore, we say that the voice is an important evidence to understand a person's character.

Distinguish each other's motives from humor

There are also many tricks hidden in human humor. If you don't distinguish carefully, you may be confused by a superficial phenomenon and make yourself "not knowing the true face of Lushan Mountain".Next, let's take a look at the unknown secrets hidden in humor.

Kong Qingdong, a professor at Peking University, once said: "True humor is not fabricated, it is the natural expression of a high-level wisdom and noble attitude towards life. If it is artificially produced, it will easily become a boring comic performance." It seems that, There are also many tricks hidden in human humor. If you don't distinguish carefully, you may be confused by a superficial phenomenon, and make yourself "not knowing the true face of Lushan Mountain".Next, let's take a look at the unknown secrets hidden in humor.

Someone who breaks the ice with humor
Most of these people are good at adapting to changing circumstances, have strong adaptability, quick brain response, and have a strong desire to express themselves.Most of them have a strong ability to deal with problems, and because of their outstanding performance, they are extremely easy to become the object of attention of the audience, which just caters to their psychology of being pushy.

They hope that through their own efforts and performance, they will attract the attention of others and be recognized by others.

A person who is good at using self-deprecating humor

People who are good at using self-deprecating humor are mostly open-minded, able to accept and adopt other people's opinions and suggestions, and can often reflect on themselves, conduct self-criticism, find their own mistakes and correct them.It is also because of this that they can continue to make progress and ultimately succeed.Moreover, such people have the courage that ordinary people do not have, because self-mockery itself requires a certain amount of courage, which is not something ordinary people can do.Their temperament makes it easy for others to have a feeling of admiration for them. Because of this, they are able to maintain good interpersonal relationships among friends.

A person who is good at mocking and satirizing others in a humorous way

Such people are usually selfish. They find pleasure in ridiculing and satirizing others, and never care about other people's feelings. They only care about themselves.Their principle of life is "I would rather blame others than others blame me." Once someone hurts them, they always wait for an opportunity to retaliate.They are very jealous and want to take the lead in everything, but their own abilities are very limited. Therefore, what they often do is, when others achieve results, they will deliberately belittle and ridicule them.Such a person hardly ever has a true friend.

someone who likes to play some pranks
Most of these people are warm and generous, lively and cheerful, and live a relaxed life. Even if they are under pressure, they will find ways to relieve pressure.This kind of people are more naughty in life, love to joke with others, and can enjoy themselves in the process.They usually look carefree, but once they get serious, they will devote 100% of their energy to accomplish one thing.

Distinguishing Personality from the Words of Greeting

Each of us has our own way or idiom of saying hello.What kind of personality you have, what kind of idioms you will often use.In other words, we can judge a person's personality from his greetings, so we can better communicate with him.

It is human nature to meet and say hello, and it is also an idiomatic expression in daily communication.But Dr. Stanley Frager, a psychologist at the University of Louisville in the US, claims that much about a person can be discerned by the idioms with which he is greeted.In other words, it is the idiomatic expressions used by everyone when greeting each other, which can reflect the personality characteristics of the speaker.

Hello there!

This is the most common idiom when meeting people. People who are used to this way of greeting tend to have a calmer brain, but their reactions are a little slow.Most of these people are able to control their emotions and don't like to make a fuss.They are diligent and meticulous in their work, and they have won the trust of colleagues and friends, and they are very popular.

Hey!
Greeting with friends, people who start in this way are often more optimistic. They are happy, lively, energetic, quick thinking, full of sense of humor, and straightforward, can accept other people's opinions different from their own, and never stick to their own opinions.

Hi!
Most of these people are shy and sentimental, more common in women.They are usually cautious in doing things and are more content with the status quo. Because they are afraid of making mistakes, they seldom innovate and lack pioneering spirit.They are usually reticent, and they are more talkative only when they are with their close friends or family members.

Come here!

People who like to say hello in this way are often more direct, decisive, adventurous and innovative, and can learn from failures in time.

Glad to see you!

This kind of person has a cheerful personality, they are enthusiastic, humble, like to make friends with all kinds of people, and can easily integrate into a new team.No matter what they do, they don't like to sit by and watch, but actively participate in it.However, such people often love to fantasize, and are easily entangled and overwhelmed by their own emotional affairs.

What's new?
People who are accustomed to greet each other with such terms are often very curious, like to ask questions about everything, and even like to inquire about other people's secrets. They talk about others behind their backs, and it is easy to provoke others' resentment.However, when this type of person does things, he is well-planned and methodical, and he is very keen on material pursuits and spares no effort in it.

How are you?
Such people like to show off, hope to attract the attention of others, and are full of confidence in themselves.Before they decide to take action on something, they don't make a decision lightly, and always think it over and over again.Once they make a decision, they will not change it easily, but will go all out to complete it, with a spirit of never giving up until they reach their goals.

Analyze the other party's way of life from the choice of talking about the occasion

Some people like to talk about things in the office, some people like to talk in restaurants or tea houses... Can we know the other party's way of life from different chat occasions?The answer is yes, and this section will list them for you.By understanding these, we have more confidence in our hearts when dealing with customers and interacting with friends.

Some things are really wonderful. When we are in a state of ignorance and don't pay attention, we think it is a very normal thing, and it hardly attracts our attention.However, once we pay attention to them, we will feel that there is a mystery hidden in them.Take people’s chat situations as an example, they are all different. If you don’t analyze it carefully, you will naturally regard it as a habit, or even just a convenience.Once you get in touch with psychology, you will find that the choice of chat occasion is not only the external expression of a person's personality, but also contains the person's attitude towards life.

Meet people who talk about things in the office
Usually, the office is relatively quiet, and there is no need for a lot of effort to arrange it, and it will present a working atmosphere.People who like to talk about things in the office are often very dedicated and sincere to people and things.When they talk about things, they tend to be more focused, and they don't want anyone to disturb and spoil the atmosphere of the conversation.People of this type tend to be more confident in their work and will be very devoted to their work.Therefore, the office has become the place they think is the safest and most reliable place to talk.

people who like to talk about things in the hotel lobby

In the lobby of the hotel, there are many scenes like this. There are two cups of coffee on the table that have been cooled, and two men who are having a good time talking on the sofa. service staff.All this seems to be non-existent to them.

Because they are so involved, they have long forgotten whether their conversations should be kept private.Therefore, most of these people are bolder and are not afraid of their privacy being stolen.Such people are also more confident, no matter what kind of problems they face, they are full of confidence. "There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain" is their motto. They believe that no matter how big the problem is, as long as they think of a way, they can solve it.This is also the most direct expression of their superior wisdom.

someone who likes to talk about things in clubs or bars
Most of these people are more ostentatious, seeking fame and reputation, and like to attract others' attention to everything they do.It's like ordering food in a restaurant. It's obviously a normal dish, but in order to prove that they are rich, they always raise their voices deliberately to call the waiter to order, and they are willing to say the name of their dish aloud.In fact, they often backfire like this. Not only can they not express themselves, but they give people a feeling of lack of quality.

Therefore, they choose to talk about things in clubs or bars in order to satisfy their vanity, and at the same time, to improve their status and external influence. In their view, this is very conducive to the realization of their goals.

People who like to talk about things in a spacious place

Most of these people are open-minded, optimistic and straightforward, but they also have a cowardly side in their character.Because of the spacious places, although they are spacious, there are usually few people, such as rooftops and balconies.They choose to chat in this kind of place. First, it is relatively quiet and no one will disturb them. Second, there is no worry about the walls and ears.Don't worry about causing unnecessary trouble to yourself.Even so, most of these people still have lofty aspirations and long-term vision, and can be prepared for danger in times of peace, giving people a sense of calmness and stability. Most of them are men.At the same time, they are also very good at concealing their true feelings, and they will not easily open their hearts to others. It is difficult for someone to really walk into their hearts, but once someone can walk into their hearts, they will cherish it very much.

Changes in the voice of speech can reflect changes in the heart

Changes in a person's voice, intonation, and speed of speech are mostly due to fluctuations in inner emotions.If we want to know the other party's inner thoughts, we must also refer to the speaker's body language and speech content according to the situation and occasion at the time, so that we can grasp the other party's true thoughts and gain the initiative in social interaction.

The voice, intonation, and speed of a person's speech are basically constant.But at some point, due to changes in inner emotions, the voice, intonation, and speed of speaking will change.We can fully understand his inner thoughts based on these changes.

When a person is talking, the voice suddenly becomes louder. There are three main reasons:

very excited

When a person encounters something happy or emotional (such as anger, anger, etc.), his voice will involuntarily raise his voice.

want to convince each other

Many people have found that speaking loudly is a good "weapon" to persuade the other party, at least in terms of momentum, it can overwhelm the other party.As long as he speaks loudly and sharply enough, he can give the other party a sense of confidence, so that the other party agrees and accepts his point of view.For example, during the debate competition, the voices of the contestants will be higher than usual.So, when a person suddenly raises his voice, he may be trying to convince you to accept his point of view.

want to dominate or order

When a person wants to dominate or control the other person, the speaking voice is generally raised.For example, a manager might say to a subordinate:
"Did you hear what I said?" The voice was obviously higher than usual at this time.

When a person speaks, his voice suddenly becomes weaker. There are two main reasons:

uneasy
For example, at a company meeting, the sales manager asked each salesperson to report the sales of this month.The one with the worst sales among many salesmen, when it was his turn to report, he couldn't help but lower his voice very low.

When a person is uneasy and nervous, he can't help lowering his voice.He hopes that the other party will not hear his words (of course, this is impossible), in order to seek psychological comfort.

lack of confidence
When a person lacks self-confidence, he will also lower his voice.For example, we ask a person, "Can this be done?" If he is confident, he will affirm it very loudly; when he lacks confidence, he will lower his voice.

When a person speaks suddenly faster, there are two main reasons:

cover up your anxiety

Many people suddenly speak faster to cover up their inner insecurities.For example, when a person's lie is exposed, he will explain his lie. At this time, he will speak faster and faster to hide his inner anxiety.

Emotional

When a person is emotionally agitated, such as nervous, anxious, excited, impatient, angry, fearful, he or she will speak faster.

When a person's speaking speed suddenly slows down, there are two main reasons:

express an opinion that is important to him
When a person talks about a point that is important to him, he usually speaks slowly, hoping that the other party can hear and remember what he said.

For example, when the teacher talks about the important content in the lecture, he will slow down the speaking speed.

confused, sad or sad

When a person is confused, sad, or sad, his mood becomes heavy and his speech slows down.

(End of this chapter)