The Psychology of Microexpressions: Psychological Strategies in Relationships

Chapter 8 Answering the Mystery of Overtones—Psychological Strategies in Speech (2)
Get to know people through their voices

The ancients once said that "words are the voice of the heart".Language is the expression of emotion, and the level and speed of the speaking tone all reflect a person's personality characteristics and emotional fluctuations.As long as we listen carefully, we can hear the implication, so as to know the other party's true thoughts.

Yu Mou is the boss of a big company, and he is a man full of pride.But his "big accountant" Mr. Liu is a man who speaks softly and softly. Sometimes, you can't even hear what he is saying.Mr. Liu has worked under the general manager for more than 20 years, and many people who have dealt with him have said: "there are too many accountants in the world, why do you insist on letting Lao Liu be your 'big accountant'? Sometimes we can't hear clearly What is he talking about?" Every time he heard someone say that, Mr. Yu laughed and said, "It's good to speak in a low voice, which shows that Lao Liu is cautious."

The level of a person's voice is also closely related to his personality.Do we still remember how Wang Xifeng appeared in "A Dream of Red Mansions"?Before we saw her person, we had already heard her voice: "I am late, and I have never greeted a distant guest!"——This kind of bold and unrestrained voice fully revealed her pungent character to others.In life, we can also judge a person's personality by the volume of his voice.

A person with a loud voice and a strong voice

Most of these people are extroverts, they are very confident, and they are very good at people.Because they can easily leave a positive and stable impression in their speech, many of these people have become the leaders of their units or are in the management of the company.U.S. President Barack Obama belongs to this type of person. His loud and magnetic voice can easily move the audience and make people fall in love with it.

soft-spoken person

Those who speak softly are usually cautious, tight-lipped, and introverted.Mr. Liu mentioned above is this kind of person, so he can gain the trust of Mr. Yu.However, if a person speaks weakly, and at the same time has an unstable tone and slurred speech, it reflects his timidity or excessive restraint.This kind of person is generally pessimistic, and the situation will not be too good.

A person who speaks with a steady, powerful voice and a moderate rate of speech
This kind of person usually has a strong desire for control and leadership, and has great confidence and courage in doing things.In addition, this kind of person is also very energetic, and they are willing to endure hardships for their ideals.Many of these people have reached the management level of the company.But their desire to dominate is very strong. Many times, they will impose their ideas on others.

A person who speaks with cadences and rhythms

This kind of person speaks like singing, giving people a kind of beautiful enjoyment.To some extent, they are born actors, have a strong desire to perform, and like to enjoy themselves.In addition, when getting along with them, we have to be more considerate, because most of these people are very smooth in dealing with others.

person who speaks slowly and in a low voice

Such people are usually very suspicious and have difficulty trusting others.When talking to others, they will speak while thinking, so the speaking speed is very slow and the voice is very low.In addition, such people are usually stubborn and tend to be arrogant.Getting along with them is a very difficult thing.

person with harsh voice

The personalities of such people are usually as eccentric and complex as their voices.In addition, their savvy is usually very poor, and it is difficult to grasp their own words and deeds, so it is difficult to leave a good impression on everyone.

a person with a delicate voice

If the speaker is a woman, they are generally very eager to be liked by everyone.But they are often impetuous, and sometimes make everyone feel annoying because they deliberately attract others' attention.If men make this sound, they are probably children who grew up under the pampering of their parents.

The character of such people is usually indecisive, lacking self-confidence and courage.They often feel lonely when they are alone, but they also feel nervous and uncomfortable when they are with girls.

Spoken language reveals a person's personality

A well-known human behaviorist once said: "Humans have two expressions, one is the expression on the face, and the other is the information conveyed to the other party when speaking." It can be seen that language is the second expression of human beings. .The mantras with high usage rate and repetition rate in the vocabulary are the passwords of the soul, which have a certain psychological projection function and reveal the inner world of the speaker to a certain extent.

Mantra is a part of people's speaking habits. It is a unique way of speaking unconsciously formed by the speaker in life, and it has a deep personality brand.For example, "China Flying Man" Liu Xiang's mantra is "right", and he often uses "right" to break sentences and overdo it, showing his inner self-confidence, as well as his goodwill and expectations for others; another example is Andy Lau's mantra is "don't La la", using this kind of gentle way to deny, shows that there are many voices of rejection in his heart, and hope that the media and movie fans can be lenient and not entangle too much about his private affairs.

I know, I understand, I understand
People who say such things are very smart, and they can often draw inferences from one instance and know another from what they have heard.Their logical ability is very strong, and their reactions are also very quick. They can often understand the speaker's intentions from the speaker's speech.However, this type of person also has a stubborn side. Sometimes they are very confident in themselves and cannot listen to other people's advice.

I want, I think, I don't know

Most of the people who often say this kind of words are pure-minded. When they do things, they like to act impulsively, and their emotions are not very stable at ordinary times, which sometimes makes people feel unpredictable.

Might be, maybe, probably, almost
People who like to say such mantras have a particularly strong sense of self-defense. They are usually more sophisticated, know how to reserve self-defense, and can keep calm when dealing with others, so they handle interpersonal relationships very well.This kind of mantra has a connotation of retreating and advancing, and many politicians like to use this mantra.

This, that, ah, ah, oh, um
People who love to use this kind of mantra can be divided into two types: the first kind of people is slow in thinking and reacting, and they always can’t understand their thoughts when they speak, so they often use pauses and moderate particles; the other kind of people are just the opposite, This kind of person is cautious in doing things and has a deep city. They often use such modal particles to think carefully and prevent themselves from saying wrong things.

Seriously, honestly, indeed, I won't lie to you
People who often say this kind of colloquial language usually lack self-confidence. They are always worried that others will not trust them, so they repeatedly emphasize the authenticity of things.This type of person is usually a little impatient and hopes to be recognized and trusted by friends.But the more they emphasize this, the more suspicious they become.

you should, you must
People who often use this kind of mantra are mostly authoritarian and stubborn. They always want others to be completely driven by themselves and have a very strong desire to lead.

ok, yeah, right, makes sense
People who regularly use this type of mantra are usually tactful, even a little sinister.They use these catchphrases to express submissiveness and make others defenseless against them.When the other party believes it is true and speaks out their heartfelt words, they will grasp the other party's weaknesses and use them to deal with the other party in the future.Such people usually seem very docile, but if you harm their interests, they will immediately change their face and turn against you.

It is said, heard, listened to, generally speaking

People who regularly use this type of mantra are usually tactful and sophisticated.They deliberately cover up when they speak, leaving room for themselves everywhere.

Distinguish the other party's true meaning from polite words
In interpersonal relationships, the language that is most easily deciphered is polite words.The existence of polite words is the inevitable result of social development.Moderate politeness is one of the ways to maintain good interpersonal relationship.However, polite words should be used properly, and someone who is too far-fetched and unnatural shows that this person has ulterior motives.

Unlike Westerners, Chinese people are very good at speaking politely.For example, when you meet someone for the first time, the other person is likely to say: "I have long admired you, I have admired you for a long time." If you think that he really admires you, you are very wrong, he probably has never even heard of your name.Therefore, there are polite things in the polite words, but there is a certain degree of deception. If you can't "know the elegant meaning by listening to the stringed songs", it is likely to make a joke.Therefore, we have to distinguish these polite words:
Talking without doing must be empty words
On weekends, Xiao Wang went to a colleague's house to play, and when it was time for dinner, Xiao Wang got up and said goodbye.The colleague's wife said: "Let's eat here tonight, don't leave, I'll go shopping right away." Xiao Wang said: "Thank you, but I have something to do at home, next time."

What Xiao Wang did in the story was correct. He could tell that the other party's asking him to eat was just a polite talk, not from the heart.If the other party really wanted to keep him for dinner, he would have prepared the meals long ago, and would not wait until it was time to eat before proposing to go shopping.Therefore, when we listen to someone's speech, we must listen to his words and watch his actions, not only what he says, but also how he does it.

People who talk too much may have ulterior motives

We have all seen the skit "Happy New Year" played by Zhao Benshan and Gao Xiumin.In the sketch, the characters played by Zhao Benshan and Gao Xiumin uttered the following words in order to ask the township chief to do something:

Gao Xiumin: No, no, we have nothing to do, we are all trivial things, the township chief said you have done too much this year, how many good things have you done for our whole town?You said that from the popularization of scientific farming to the development of food projects, you go to the bank today and the science and technology committee tomorrow.You really broke your heart, your mouth was worn out, and your body was almost exhausted.

Zhao Benshan: I even carried water for the widow!The whole town knows about it.

Fan Wei: Ah, those are trivial matters.

Gao Xiumin: There are big things too, big things...
Zhao Benshan: Big things have been done for a year. Hong Kong's return, the Three Gorges flood control, the [-]th National Congress of the Communist Party of China, President Jiang's visit to the United States, and this year's busy you—isn't he doing this?
When we say polite words to other people, we generally don’t speak too much, because the polite words are too outrageous, it will give people a false feeling, but it can’t play the role of "polite".For example, the characters in the sketch, in order to ask the mayor to do something, said some unreliable polite words, which made people feel that it was not true no matter how they heard it.Therefore, if the polite words are too far-fetched, the speaker may have ulterior motives.

It's not normal to say too many polite words among acquaintances

When we are very familiar with a person, we will not say too many polite words with him, because too many polite words will make us feel that the relationship between each other is not close, giving people a feeling of hypocrisy.If one day your husband (wife) or friend is suddenly very polite to you and says a lot of courteous words to you, you should pay attention at this time. I feel sorry, so I said a lot of polite words.

Speech habits reveal a person's inner secrets

Each of us has our own speech habits.According to research by psychologists, a person's speech habits have the most direct relationship with his personality.Therefore, we can know and understand a person from his speech habits, which is sometimes more reliable than knowing a person through his image.

People who often say the wrong things have different mouths
If there is a friend around you who always says the wrong thing, you should pay attention, because such a person is likely to be the kind of person who does not mean what he says.

The ancients once said: "Words are the voice of the heart." What a person has in his heart, there is a desire to express it in his mouth.But those who are duplicity are naturally unwilling to speak the truth, speak the truth, and speak their minds. They will hide these words in their hearts and prohibit them from being expressed.But the more forbidden, the stronger the desire to express, so they often slip up and say what they don't want to say.In this case, although they will use "careless" and "not sincere" as excuses to excuse themselves, we must not believe them easily.

Those who love to argue are cowards
In life, there is such a kind of people (mostly men) who like to raise an argument, and they raise their arguments when they are talking with others, and they have a posture of swearing not to give up until they make the other party speechless.Although this kind of person looks aggressive and domineering, he is actually cowardly in his heart.They are full of loneliness and fear in their hearts. In order to cover up such emotions, they do everything possible to find someone to debate in order to show their strength.And a truly powerful person will not only show in words, but also in actions.

A person who keeps nodding or shaking his head while talking is unlikely to be a big deal

There is such a type of person in life, no matter what you say, he will keep nodding, with a submissive look.It is difficult for such people to do great things, because they seldom have their own views, and always passively accept others' ideas; even if they have their own views, they dare not deny the other party, even though they are very reluctant. In the end, I will do what others say.It is naturally difficult for this kind of person who always lives in the shadow of others to achieve great things.

There is another kind of person who is just the opposite. They are arrogant and think highly of themselves. Whenever the other party speaks, they keep shaking their heads, showing no respect to anyone.It is also difficult for such people to achieve great things, because they cannot listen to what others say, and their interpersonal relationships are also very poor.When they encounter setbacks, they are prone to depression and are shrouded in negativity and pessimism.

Talking and gesturing person is persuasive

Some people can't help but make some gestures when speaking, such as waving hands, clapping palms, etc., as if to emphasize the importance of the content of the speech.

Most of such people are extroverts, with strong self-confidence and decisive actions. When they speak, they are easy to incite people's hearts and make everyone believe him.Because of this, they have strong leadership skills.

(End of this chapter)