Featured by Frederick Floyd

Chapter 11 [-]
Fu Lei devoted himself to revising the translation of "Old Man Gao" and wrote the "Translator's Preface" with a total of eleven pages. However, the translation preface was lost in the ten-year catastrophe.

1963.3.17
Satoshi, dear boy:
I haven't written for you for more than two months. I know that your whereabouts are uncertain and you are running around. We may not receive our letters, and we have no intention to read them carefully.Received letters on the way to New York and in New Mexico; your idealistic fervor is astounding, and I am an old man by comparison.In the past year, my heart has been stagnant, only my work is still relentless; my love for literature and art has not diminished, but I often have a feeling of "turning back after giving up" and "lost".Maybe it's because the Chinese temperament is too strong, especially the negative spirit of the so-called "free and easy" and "transcendence". Maybe it's the shadow of childhood and the painful experience of family history that have invisibly taken root in my heart. The older I get, the easier it is Personality differentiation, it seems that from time to time, I will be placed on another planet to see the world, and it seems that I will lose consciousness anytime and anywhere and turn into material elements.The cosmology of astronomy and geology is often entrenched in my mind, like the realm written by some short stories by Vold, which makes me more or less detached [transcendence] towards reality.But at work and in daily life, the seriousness of every ounce is still the same, which is exactly the opposite of the above-mentioned mood-it can be said that the personality is divided; maybe habits have become nature, and my nature originally conflicts with reason. Intellectually [intellectually] I am purely oriental, and emotionally & instinctively [emotion and nature] are very similar to Westerners.In fact, there are still two inherent outlooks on life: one is the view that all four things are empty, and the other is the spirit of knowing what can't be done.Perhaps the process from youth to adulthood to old age is basically a process from positive to negative, but some people are more obvious, and some people are not so obvious.Creatures in nature cannot escape this law.You are approaching thirty, it is the prime of life, just like the late spring, you should be vigorously running on the road to prosperity.The optimism and positivity of the two letters recently stimulated me somewhat, and I was really excited on the day I received the letters.Your sense of Chinese pride makes me proud of you, and I feel relieved that you are good at appreciating the merits of the nation and the broad masses of people.Only the combination of national pride and appreciation of others can prevent narrow chauvinism and prevent individuals from falling into arrogance and self-indulgence, and this is the real fusion of patriotism and internationalism.Our leaders have a clear view of the international situation and have never said that there is a possibility of a domestic revolution in the United States. What you believed before may be the speculation and incorrect extension of foreign journalists.Our problems, I think, mainly lie in how to build socialism, how to give full play to individual enthusiasm after changes in production relations, how to demonstrate the superiority of our system in terms of practice and material achievements, and how to turn the verbal "red" into a career How to prevent collectivism from being dragged down by bureaucracy, how to improve the leadership level of cadres, how to seek truth from facts, how to popularize culture instead of lowering it, how to cultivate and care for the next generation...

The letter did not mention when you will return to England. I guess you must have returned to London by the time this letter arrives—did Mr. Lin’s paintings be sent to Bronstein?If you send it, you can remit 23 pounds (150 yuan).Take care of everything!
Dad March [-], [-]
My work is getting harder and harder.The first draft is translated around a thousand words a day, and the second revision (after the first draft is transcribed) can only change more than [-] words a day, which is almost a retranslation.But I am still not satisfied with the changes (the lines are too hard, the edges and corners are protruding, the colors are too monotonous, etc.).After the revised manuscript is transcribed (that is, the third draft), it has to be revised again.When the book is printed, there are still many problems.The situation is roughly the same as you would treat a record.But I have reached the stage where I am at the end of my life, and my ability can only decline, and it is impossible to improve; it is not like you, although you are dissatisfied with yourself, you are always improving.When I think about it, I envy you for not putting it down.I have been in a low mood recently, probably related to my dissatisfaction with work.The books translated in the previous five years are being published one after another.Soon he will send "The Curé of Tours—Pierrand".There is also "The Rise and Fall of Saicha Pirodo", which will be published in about April and May.This book was completed in the spring of [-], but it happened to be the last to be published. "Philosophy of Art" has been sent to you first.For Balzac's books, I specially sent them in paperback, in case you would take them with you when you go out, paperback is more convenient. "Old Man Goriot", "Aunt Belle", "Uncle Pons" and "Eugenie Grandet" are all being reprinted. If you need to reprint which one, let me know as soon as possible (as soon as the book comes out, it will be sold out in ten or eight days. use up).You write cynic [cynical] as scinic; naiveness does not have this word, it should be naivety [innocent].

Dad and
1963.6.2
Satoshi, dear boy:
The month of May was muddy, and the illness passed crookedly.I had a cold first, and then I had a constant cough, which caused cramps. The lumbar arthritis recurred, and I couldn't sleep peacefully at night. It was miserable.I also took a lot of traditional Chinese medicine and western medicine successively, and used spray and other treatments, and it is finally over now.Work stopped for ten days in the middle.Uncle Wu (Yifeng) tried his best to persuade me to check my body. Ten days ago, I went to Huadong Hospital for an electrocardiogram, blood test, and X-rays of my lungs and lumbar and thoracic spine.The result is that the erythrocyte sedimentation rate is too fast and the blood pressure increases; the lumbar and thoracic spine developed from an old problem decades ago (I didn’t think it at the time), and became "rheumatoid arthritis". I know that neither Chinese nor western medicine can cure this disease; the orthopedic doctor just told me to pay attention to rest and not to sit for long periods of time.

We hardly knew the truth of your last two concerts in London were it not for Mira's letter. The comments in the "Manchester Herald" seem to be somewhat analytical. I'm an amateur, so I don't know how much of them are correct?Since the hostility of the critics has lasted for a year, it is better to analyze and analyze yourself more, and ask more objective, neutral, and high-level musical people's opinions.I know you are very self-critical, but the hostility of the outside world should still make us vigilant to ourselves: there may be some unconscious flaws that we and our close friends have never seen.There's no harm in discussing it a bit more.If it is really the critics who deliberately oppose it, of course you don't have to worry about it.I don’t know how many people have been inexplicably criticized in history, even Galileo, Verde, and Balzac were unavoidable, let alone me!The main thing is to measure people with the heart of a gentleman. As a reference, it is only good for yourself.There is an old saying: right and wrong have their own opinions, and after a long time, black and white will naturally become clear!

Berlioz's record has been received, although it is in another style, Berlioz's unique tone (melody and harmony) is still recognizable at first hearing.

The photos taken in Yangzhou did not perform well, and they lost seven or eight photos when they were developing them; let me send four photos.

Min's typewriter has been bought for him, and it is 180% new and still usable. It costs RMB 27, or about [-] pounds.He wrote and asked me to thank you.

Mira's letters about the old band were wonderful, and she wrote them so vividly that my mother and I loved them.Although my mother can't write English casually, she can still understand the beauty of reading letters.

I'm tired today, so I won't write much, so I say hello to Mira, ask her to take care of her health, and tell her to write to her in eight or ten days.

Take care of everything and get some rest!

Dad, the evening of June [-], [-]
1963.7.22
Dear children:
I haven't written a letter for more than 50 days.There are thousands of words, but I can't write; I don't write letters all the time and feel uneasy, which is full of contradictions.My mother and I often dream of you, with realistic voices and smiles.After dreaming, I always want to write a letter, and I have written it several times but failed.I know your mood fluctuates a lot too.If you have ideals, you will be depressed, if you don't follow the trend, you will have discord everywhere.But if you can think of changing places, it's the same, maybe it will be calmer.Born less than a hundred years old, often worrying about a thousand years old: this second language can be a portrayal of you and me.I haven't heard from you for more than two months, I hope you are healthy and don't be too nervous.Neither of you has a very strong physique, so you always have to take good care of yourself.A good balance between work and rest is the long-term solution.We have nothing to worry about, except that you are overworked, and even Mira can't handle it.Any indulgence has disadvantages, and it is not wise to sacrifice one's life for the sake of indulging in art!
Since late June, many of my old problems have gradually subsided, and now only allergic rhinitis is bothering me.Arthritis cannot be cured at all, and it will recur when the weather changes or overwork.It can only be counted as one day, as long as the attack is not too severe to hinder the work, it will be fine.

The recent major events must be of concern, but the CPSU will treat us like this, which is really unexpected, and it is painful to say!Your in-law's family still sends food from Hong Kong every Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, and Spring Festival as a gift, but it's not respectful, and you must express your thanks when you meet.And hope to tell them that the situation is better now, and they don't need friends to help them anymore.Everything is precious!
Dad July 22
Dear Cong and Mira:
I have often dreamed of you recently, which shows the depth of suspense, and it is logical that I should have a letter from you.

My body is better this year than last year, and my edema has improved. The main thing is to rest thoroughly, stay at home when I can go out less, and have an easy-going temperament, so I am calm and not impatient, and the days are easy to pass.

Go home quickly, my heart is already counting the date of his arrival with joy.Already planning how to let him spend the summer vacation well, as a mother, as long as she sees the child happy, eating well, sleeping soundly, as if she has a piece of meat on her body, she will be indescribably elated!
I haven't heard from you for two months, and I'm worried about it, and I can't let go.If you have photos, send them more, and chat for comfort.

Although the population is small, it has always been quiet and noisy, and life is more peaceful and comfortable.Hope you have a happy holiday!
Mom July 22
1963.10.14
Dear children:
You have received both Hesinski's letter and Myra London's letter.It turned out that she had written a letter in Switzerland and lost it.She has fun writing long letters: the report on the trip to Italy is detailed and vivid.From then on, I think you must have a deeper understanding of Italian painting, especially the Venetian school.The lakes in Switzerland and Italy are all on the plateau, and the mountains are really high and the water is deep, which is unmatched by other places.Coupled with artificial modification, there are many historic sites, which make people nostalgic for the past and even more reluctant to go.The biggest disadvantage of our scenic spots is architecture: firstly, the brick and wood structure cannot resist natural disasters, man-made disasters, wind and rain erosion; secondly, architecture is also a relatively backward branch of Chinese art.

After receiving Mira's letter, I looked it up in dictionaries, maps and travel guides.When I went to Rome in 500, I bought a copy of "Italy" in "Guide Blue" (Guide Blue), a thick volume with more than [-] pages, like a dictionary.This is the most complete and detailed guidebook in France, including major cities in various countries (each country is a thick volume), it is actually a travel series.The lakes you visited, Maggiore, Lugarno, Como, Iseo, Garda [Lake Maggiore, Lake Lugano, Lake Como, Lake Iseo, Lake Garda], the Stresa where you stayed ] and Bellagio[Bellagio] are found on the map, and each lake has its own detailed map.We flipped through it, as if following you on a "fugue tour".Mira drove all the way, after all, it was a steep mountain road, and she was often in the dark. It was really thanks to her. I don’t know if you are driving your own car or a rented car?

At this moment, Jiangnan has also turned into late autumn, the sweet-scented osmanthus has withered, and the chrysanthemum is about to bloom.Unexpectedly, London is already windy, rainy and foggy, so dull!I really want to go to Tianmu Mountain (western Zhejiang) to enjoy the autumn colors at the beginning of next month, but I don't know if I can do it then.In November [-], I went to Dongxi Tianmu with Uncle Lunbu. The autumn colors are colorful, and the mountains and rivers are like beautiful scenery. I have been dreaming for more than ten years.

"Old Man Gao" has been corrected, and the translation sequence has been written and sent.Nowadays, writing a preface requires criticism, and it is extremely difficult to write.I wrote for a week, and I almost forgot to sleep and eat, and I was so nervous.As for the translation, after many revisions, I always feel that my ability has reached the peak. Most of the dissatisfied parts know that they can be revised, but they are not competent, which is limited by my personal writing style.In the past four or five years, I have become more and more aware of my limit [limitation], which seems to be an insurmountable gap.

From the [-]th to the [-]th of this month, you have a one-week bye in Sweden. How do you spend your time?It’s too expensive to go back, and it’s too lonely to stay in Northern Europe, isn’t it?

My mother is in good health, but I still suffer from minor illnesses. I recently had a severe cold, and my cough dragged on for more than half a month, and I haven't recovered yet.Min is too busy.On September 25th, a package of books was sent out (all three volumes of "The History of Chinese Literature Development" were sent), and another box of Yangzhou specialties (velvet birds) was sent to Mira to play with, and to give to the children.Everything is precious!
Dad October [-], [-]
1963.11.3
Dear children:
Can you imagine how excited I was by the last letter?Sincere and hard-working artists will inevitably go through a rebirth every few years and reach a new peak.It is of course a big step forward to be able to transform from pure feeling (sensation) to idea (idea), and this step is not something every artist can do, because it is related to each person's temperament.But in the conceptual world, you should also beware of a pitfall [trap]: When there are fewer and fewer people who can follow you spiritually, it is inevitable to dig into the corners, take the road that is too abstract, and break away from the masses.Both grandstanding (that is, blindly bluffing people with novelty) and vulgar flattery are both prohibited, and being too intoxicated with one's own ideals also has its dangers.I am not very clear about this, but specific examples can also serve as our warning.Some of Richter's performances and certain understandings are very telling.At the end of the day, it's still the old adage of "out" and "in".It is lofty and unconventional without losing the human touch, so that people will not feel cold [cold].As you said, "Everything is far away, but at the same time everything is near", which is exactly the state reached by Mozart and Schubert's works in his later years.Most of the best Chinese people throughout the ages have this breath. Although sublime [sublime], it is not mystic [mysterious] (Western style); although detached, it is still warm, intimate, human [warm, intimate, human] to the extreme !Not only do you know this deeply, but your character has this tendency, and that is the safeguard of your art.Basically, my confidence in you is always the same. Some of the above words are just mentioned casually, as a reminder of "he who has heard it is enough to warn".

My mother and I are very happy that your body is not swaying: this is not only a matter of impression to the audience, but also an attitude towards art, mastering your emotions, controlling performance, and being able to enter and exit. It also proves that you can Turned into an idea [concept], and surpassed the stage of being led by music and becoming involuntary.It can only be achieved when emotions are purified, personality is sublimated, and when dramatic [dramatic] enters contemplative [contemplation].It can be seen that such a detail cannot be solved by paying attention to it alone, and it will be solved by itself when the self-cultivation is at home. (The feelings in the chest cannot be fully expressed with the hands, and the body will naturally sway, as if unconsciously wanting to "dance and dance" to help express. Do you think my analysis is correct?)

In contrast, I am getting worse and worse.I can't tell whether it's a step backward, or whether my abilities are limited. I didn't feel as clearly about my shortcomings before as I do now.The more deeply I understand the original work, the more I appreciate the beauty of the original text, the more I feel weak, and the more I feel that the translation is far from conveying the charm of the original work.More and more rework takes more and more time, and the result is always unsatisfactory.I see my own limit [limitation] all the time, the limit of using my brain, the limit of wording and making sentences, and the limit of innateness—for example, the twists and turns of the sentence are too blunt, the color is monotonous, the reasoning is strong and the description is weak, all of which are related to my character flaws related to bias.Naturally, I am not discouraged by this, and I still "do what I know can't be done", but it is also difficult to be happy.Achievement in work is the greatest happiness: this is the same for you and me.

Another thing is certain, that is, the way of thinking of Westerners is too far away from ours.People who don't do translation work probably won't understand it so deeply.When they portray their psychology and describe their emotions, there are some twists and turns and delicate places, which are complicated and cumbersome, which are simply out of tune with us.We tend to omit many trivial things in life because they are not worth mentioning, and many of them are just listing facts without analysis. If we want to write about love, we should write with the attitude of a poet; The attitude of scientists (especially Balzac) is like dissecting insects.Although the translators understand it and feel its features and beauty, it is difficult for readers who think in a completely different way to comprehend it.The way of thinking reflects the entire outlook on life, the world and the development of thousands of years of culture. How can it be possible to communicate with the thoughts of another nation at once?Fortunately for you, music is not as limited as language. You still use notes to express the notes of your predecessors, not another language or logic.

Easterners who really understand the West, and Westerners who really understand the East, are not absent, but they are as rare as stars.People who have thoroughly digested their own cultural heritage will never become a burden. Instead, they will develop an all-encompassing mind. They understand both the strengths and weaknesses of their own nation and the strengths and weaknesses of other nations. Cut off the long and make up for the short, and absorb fresh nutrients.I am not afraid of any loneliness, only the loneliness of culture, the loneliness of spiritual thought.The so-called loneliness in your previous letter probably refers to this, right?

Although we are so far apart, our hearts are always together, and I never feel any spiritual gap with you.It's not easy between father and son: I'm very pleased with that.

Dad November [-], [-]

(End of this chapter)