Mind Control and Distraction: Mind Control Techniques for a Lifetime

Chapter 14 Put your energy into trying to make yourself happy (1)
Most people are very quiet in the world.They live in the world for a short time, as if the world does not belong to them.
-
Doctorow
Happiness is the best medicine for mental and physical health

When asked about the meaning of life, many people answer "live happily".Such an answer is often seen as a perfunctory answer, an excuse for not thinking.But in fact, there is a shortcut to happiness.

People seem to be more interested in talking about happiness in terms of philosophy, and now we try to discuss the topic of happiness from a medical perspective rather than a philosophical perspective.In this chapter, we do not talk about medical "happiness" from a philosophical point of view.The medical definition of happiness is: happiness is a state of mind in which the human mind enjoys pleasure for a certain period of time.

Happiness has simple, natural benefits for the human heart and the human body itself.When we are happy, we think richer, perform better, have healthier bodies, and feel better.Russian psychologists and physiologists have done experiments on the influence of happiness or not on human behavior. The results of the experiment are: when people are in happiness, people's vision, smell, hearing, taste, and touch are all better, and the internal organs work better. and function better.Traditional Western medicine once refused to admit that good psychology can promote the recovery of disease.But that turned out to be wrong.We can often see things like this from newspapers: an optimistic cancer patient survives longer than a pessimistic cancer patient, an optimistic cancer patient recovers without medical treatment, and so on.

The word "disease" in English is formed from the two roots of "no" and "happy" (dis-ease).Unhappiness is not the only cause of disease, but happiness is definitely the only cure.

misunderstanding of happiness
Happiness is not something that can be earned or deserved.Being unhappy is not illegal, nor is it immoral.It's as natural as when the sun rises and the sky becomes brighter.If you sit and wait to be happy until something happy comes to your mind, chances are you're also thinking about something unhappy at the same time.A philosopher once said: We should not get happiness from suppressing desires, we should be happy because of desires, so as to suppress desires.

The pursuit of happiness is not selfish

Many people force themselves not to seek pleasure, thinking it is selfish to actively seek pleasure.Selflessness can indeed lead to happiness, such as an idiom called "Help others for pleasure".Yes, we can realize our worth through selfless giving and take pride in our goodness.The happiness at this time is given by others' affirmation of oneself, and is obtained passively.In this way, from a moral perspective, taking the initiative to pursue happiness becomes something that should be ashamed.According to this logic, it becomes: the more we wrong ourselves, the happier we will be.Isn't this a paradox?Could it be said that the way to be happy is to become unhappy?
A friend confided to me: "My colleague looks pitiful and depressed at work, so every time I see his lifeless look at work, I wonder if it is a bit too much for me to regard work as fun and enjoy my work. So I try to restrain my elation at work so as not to piss them off." Happiness doesn't come through compensation.The happy friend did not consume the lost happiness of his colleagues.Her pleasure is not unfair or selfish.Even if you suppress your own happiness, you cannot automatically distribute your own happiness to your colleagues and make them happy too.

I have found that the reason many patients are unhappy is that they live on a "payment deferral" basis.Instead of living in the present and enjoying the life in front of them, they constantly hope that a better life in the future will bring them happiness.But in fact, from finding a good job to getting married and having children, to paying off the house loan, to raising the children, every task must be done well in order for them to be happy.But in reality, these things don't go as they should, so they are always disappointed and never happy.Happiness is a habit and an attitude. If you can't learn to be happy now, you will never be happy.Don't place happiness after a certain problem is solved.Because one problem ends, another new problem will appear, and you have no time to be happy.So, happiness should take advantage of the present.

develop happy mental habits

A psychologist said: "Happiness is purely a matter of the heart and has nothing to do with external things. Happiness is a point of view, an idea, and an attitude."
No one can maintain 100% happiness all the time, unless a fool.However, we can gain happiness by simply thinking and making decisions.We can ignore the trivial things and spend more time thinking about the happy things.Basically, our temper tantrums over insignificant things, our daily annoyance over trivial matters, and our sentimental feelings are all out of habit.Similarly, we can also make happiness a habit.

Things that had nothing to do with you, but you took the right seat.It could also be one of the reasons why you are unhappy.

Don't listen to the outside world

Self-esteem is the weapon for getting rid of the control of your emotions by external things.In TV programs, the host will manipulate the audience. He/she will send out signals, some are "applause please" and some are "please cheer". The audience always cooperates and does not miss the various signals.

Audiences are at their mercy like docile sheep.Sometimes we also act like the live audience on a TV show.Always using outside events or people to dictate how you should feel makes us slaves.

Cultivate the habit of being happy, and we will be freed from slavery and turned into masters.Habits of happiness free one from external domination.

Don't make unhappy things more unhappy
In the face of misfortune and unfavorable situations, as long as you don't pour out complaints, resentment and all kinds of negative thoughts wantonly, you will always make yourself happier. "How can I be happy?" a gambler's wife asked me. "I don't know," I said, "but if you stopped adding resentment and self-pity to your unhappiness, you'd be happier than you are."
Here, I would like to introduce to you a famous quote from the ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus, which is also my favorite quote all the time.The sage said, "It's not what happens that bothers us, it's our subjective perception of what happened."
Facts and opinions determine your happiness
When I decided to become a doctor, my friends stopped me, saying that my wish would not come true because I came from a poor family.My family is poor, it is a fact, and I will not be a doctor, but it is just an opinion.In the end I became a doctor.On my way to success, I have always understood a truth: many "impossible" are just people's perceptions, not facts.Not only have I worked hard to achieve my goal of becoming a doctor, but I have been very happy along the way.I've had a lot of shocking things in my life, and they're all true.But I keep reminding myself, don't take these as disasters, and don't think that "life is really boring", these are just subjective opinions.

When I compiled Psycho-Cybernetics into a book for the first time, I concluded that the essence of Psycho-Cybernetics is to accurately and calmly, and finally automatically, separate facts from assumptions, facts from perceptions, real situations from magnified obstacles. Detachment allows our actions and reactions to be firmly grounded in truth rather than our own or others' perceptions.

Happiness depends on attitude towards life
Just because man is a creature with the ability to pursue goals, he can normally display his talents when facing positive goals and striving for them.Happiness is just the normal behavior of people. When people live as goal seekers, they will feel happy no matter how the environment changes.Edison once burned his expensive laboratory to nothing because of a fire.Someone asked him: "What else can you do in this world?" He replied: "I am going to rebuild the laboratory tomorrow morning." Edison has always maintained an optimistic attitude, and the process of making progress toward the goal keeps him always good attitude.

Looking back, I also had times when I was not happy.At that time, I just started working as a doctor, and my salary was not enough to make ends meet. Many times I didn’t have enough food or clothing to keep warm.Although I work hard every day, sometimes I still have to worry about rent.But there is always a purpose in my mind.I have a strong desire to achieve my goals with tenacity and enthusiasm, and it is this desire and enthusiasm that keeps me close to my goals.

Sometimes unhappiness is not about losing something, but about losing the belief that you want it.How can you be happy without a positive attitude towards life?

Learn to take responsibility for your own happiness
Happiness can be cultivated intentionally and systematically.After hearing my point of view, many patients feel a little incredible.Experience has shown, however, that the systematic cultivation of happiness, in a somewhat brutal manner, is not only possible, but the only way to develop the habit of happiness.First of all, happiness is not something that happens to people, but requires people to decide and obtain it independently.We cannot sit and wait for happiness to find us, or for something good to happen to us.No one can control your thoughts except yourself.Whether you should be happy or sad is entirely up to you to choose.Second, this question has nothing to do with being honest or not.Both good and evil are real to our thoughts.It all depends on which one we prefer and which one we keep.In fact, sometimes we have to learn to have fun for ourselves, that is, "entertain ourselves", and we can't always expect others to bring us happiness.

Get into the habit of responding proactively and positively to external threats and stimuli, and get into the habit of always being goal-oriented no matter what happens.So, we have to practice developing a positive attitude, both in our daily life and in the imagination of our minds.Have a clear image in your mind: what action should be taken in the face of such difficulties, and what other actions should be taken in the face of that difficulty.and so on.In the imagination, I see myself facing all kinds of difficulties without fear and shrinking, instead of being timid and cowering.See what beneficial actions you have taken to solve problems and overcome difficulties.In other words, only in imagination or in practice, we become extremely brave and confident only when we face difficulties and problems that we may have already dealt with.

Nose revision surgery won't cure him

I once had a salesman patient named Williams who in a car accident smashed his nose, which was not seriously injured but was severely dislocated and deformed by country quack surgery.As Williams returned to work, he discovered that facial imperfections would embarrass him with new clients.As a result his sales plummeted.A few months later, Williams finally came to me to have his nose repaired.The surgery went well and he was back to the way he was before the accident.Since then, he has regained his confidence and his sales performance has improved again.Williams has real physical flaws, not imaginary ones.He also accurately estimated the reaction of others to him and the situation he would face, so he went to the doctor and reconstructed his appearance.

Here is another patient.Salesman Mr. Robert.His nose was unharmed, just slightly larger than normal, but not at all "obnoxious" as he said.He felt that his clients were privately laughing at him, or rejecting him because of his big nose.It is true that he has a big nose, and it is also true that several customers have called his business to say that he is impatient and has a bad service attitude.So after I learned the following facts, I suggested that he first perform an operation on his thinking.I introduced him to the method of eliminating negative thoughts in 21 days and told him that it would be very effective.

I knew in my heart that although Robert agreed to try this method, he didn't really believe in miracles.He's still pinning his hopes on plastic surgery.One doesn't have to believe in it beforehand in order to test whether Psycho-Cybernetics actually works. After 21 days passed, Robert not only felt good, but also found that his customers were much more kind than before. His sales also increased steadily, and he was praised and appreciated by his boss.

Consciously Interrupt Harmful Thoughts
When you can't help but blame yourself several times and say "Why am I always late", you keep instilling the word "late" in yourself.

In fact, we have realized that being late is not a good habit, but we can't stop ourselves from instilling the thinking "I am a person who likes to be late" in our minds.Try to think about how many times you have been late, maybe there are countless times, then carefully examine your heart, and think about every time you are late, even if you are very reluctant, you will say to yourself fiercely, oh!I'm late again!This is a very interesting phenomenon. When your behavior or performance is not the best you expected, you will inevitably have negative beliefs.In this process, you will involuntarily underestimate or belittle yourself.In fact, you should replace these negative thoughts with a positive self-image, understanding that these negative thoughts mean nothing to you and are not going to help you improve your current situation.

(End of this chapter)