Mind Control and Distraction: Mind Control Techniques for a Lifetime

Chapter 31 Release your personality and find the half-acre field you are good at (2)
A talented man with a first-class IQ and a college diploma is determined to "go to sea" to do business.A friend suggested that he invest in stocks, and he was very enthusiastic, but when he went to apply for a shareholder card, he hesitated: "Stock trading is risky, wait and see." Another friend suggested that he give part-time lectures at night schools. He was very interested, but quickly When it was time for class, he hesitated again: "It's only 20 yuan for a class, which is not very interesting." He is very talented, but he has been hesitating all the time.It's been two or three years, and I haven't "go down" across the sea, doing nothing.One day, this "Mr. Hesitating" was visiting relatives in the countryside, passing by an apple orchard, and all he saw were apple trees growing gratifyingly.He couldn't help sighing, "What a fertile land God has given this owner!" Hearing this, the tree planter said to him, "Then come and see how God works here."
There are many people in the world who just talk but don’t do it, and are always hesitating; there are many people who just do it but don’t talk, and they are always working hard.Success and harvest always patronize those who have a successful method and put it into action.Being overly cautious is just as bad as being careless.If you want others to have confidence in you, you must present yourself in a credible way.Being too cautious to try anything new can do as much damage to your accomplishments as executing a sudden idea without thinking about it.People who have never swum before standing at the water's edge, and people who have never jumped over a parachute stand at the door of the cabin, the more they think about it, the more afraid they become, and the same is true when people are in a disadvantaged situation.The cure for fear is action, and doing it without hesitation.No matter how smart a person is, he must take positive actions.

Is the sense of self really your own?
It is not difficult to find that a negative view of anything is directly related to self-awareness.In the process of interacting with anyone, or in the process of doing anything, we will receive some negative information, which is our negative reaction to the current person or event.A look, a smile, a bow, a wink, and hundreds of other expressions are all triggered by what we are currently experiencing.All expressions reflect our inner thoughts.Just like a speech, the audience and the speaker are face to face, and every small movement of either of them reveals their inner activities, which is a potential interactive process.In fact, even without face-to-face, there is no interaction without return.Just like when we listen to the teacher's lecture in class, if you don't respond, the teacher will say that you didn't understand.In other words, this interaction did not form a mutual reaction, and there was no "spark".If you want to be a successful public figure, whether you are an actor or a speaker, you can perceive this kind of communication from the audience or listeners, get information from the other party's reaction, and then make your next plan.This is one of the ways the creative mechanism works.For example, when you are speaking, get information from the other person's response, "This person speaks a little fast." Then you will naturally adjust the way you speak.So we say that if we want to use the information obtained from others reasonably, we must use our innovation mechanism.That is to say, this process should be unconscious, not the result of our subjective control.

Don't hold yourself back by other people's opinions
Many people care about what others think of them, so they become overly cautious, even as if they are trying to please others.If you react too much to other people's negative comments, whether true or false, then you will restrain yourself too much, you will not be able to fully display your talents, and you will act as if you are not satisfied, forming a vicious circle.At this point you might say that no one has ever said anything bad about me.But even so, you still consciously monitor your own behavior, trying to judge your every movement and expression, so you will have an introverted and shy personality.You really want to make a good impression on others, but when facing others, you are timid and afraid that your step will be inappropriate, so you suppress your own thoughts and cannot let the automatic success mechanism work smoothly.In the end, intelligence leaves a very bad impression on others.When you want to make a good impression on others, don't deliberately pay attention to your every expression, demeanor, and behavior.Don't make a conscious effort to make them think you're good, in other words, don't just try to move closer to that "good impression" you imagine, or try to put yourself in another person's shoes and imagine how others see you.Just show your truest self.My friend Tracey is one such person. She said she was embarrassed when she first entered into college. Poses look stupid.Especially when a group of talking and laughing college classmates approached her, she felt deeply painful, so she avoided meeting people and tried not to say hello.Because she felt like everyone was laughing at her, judging her, picking on her.She herself is ashamed of her behavior, why is she so timid?She had studied ballet in high school, and she knew that her walking posture was not only not clumsy, but might even be elegant, but why didn't she feel the way she does now in high school?Tracy later told me that she never thought about it so much in high school.I don't care what passers-by think of me at all, and I don't bother to think about whether my every action is appropriate.At that time, she didn't mind what others thought, she just relaxed herself as much as possible, and didn't think about these issues.Until one day, Tracy received a letter from a male classmate.The letter said that he had never seen such an elegant but lonely girl, and he was deeply attracted by this mysterious girl, and he could guarantee that all the boys who had met Tracy could not help but silently praise her in their hearts. Appreciate her.Tracy was very surprised and happy, so she knew that she was not what she imagined, even more attractive than other girls.Later she slowly became cheerful and lively.I guess her classmates must think she is more elegant.Tracy told me that she reminded herself every day that it was like being in her hometown, facing her parents and familiar classmates every day, so go and share happiness with everyone happily.At this time, I will no longer think about what others will think of me, and I will never become embarrassed in public again.

This kind of mentality that is not affected by strangers or unfamiliar environments, and completely ignores all unknown or unpredictable events, actually has a saying called "calmness".Calm is the intentional bypassing of any fears arising from new, uncontrollable circumstances.

make good use of self image
The late Albert Edward Weggam, a famous educator, psychologist and public speaker, said that he suffered from being easily shy and timid as a child.So that it is impossible to complete the tasks assigned by the teacher, even the simplest.He goes out of his way to avoid dealing with people, because he doesn't even dare to meet people's eyes during a conversation.He had been battling with his self-image, tried many things, but to no avail.He began to fall into painful self-criticism.He couldn't change his thoughts about himself anyway, but then he thought that if this was the case, why couldn't he change his thoughts about others?So, he began to practice to relax himself and stop caring so much about other people's opinions.He realized that his previous shyness and timidity were all because he cared too much about other people's opinions and was too sensitive, so he couldn't think clearly, so he didn't know how to talk to people.He noticed that he could talk to himself very fluently and express his emotions when looking in the mirror.When I am alone, I am very sober and calm.

So he no longer worked hard to change his timid and shy personality, no longer confronted himself, and stopped self-criticism.Instead, focus on forming the same sense of self as when you are alone, no longer considering other people's opinions and evaluations.Doing so did not make him indifferent, arrogant or unreasonable. On the contrary, he returned to his true self. When he showed his original self to the public, he got along well with others and gained everyone's approval and respect. praise.If you want to give full play to your talents, you must not care about what others think of you.Because among the left and right factors that inhibit the development of personality, excessive care about other people's opinions is the biggest reason.Think about it, when we walk on the road, are we particularly impressed by a person who seems to you to be acting weird?In most cases, I think everyone just laughs at it and forgets it in a blink of an eye.Since this is the case, we should understand that in fact, other people's views on us are not as deep and as deep as we imagined.

This can't help but remind me of a little thing that happened to me a long time ago.That night I went to a party at a friend's house, and when I came home, I was depressed by a seemingly casual sentence at the party, and I couldn't stop thinking about what it meant.My wife who was sitting on the side saw my displeasure, she asked me, "Honey, you don't look very happy, what's the matter?" I immediately started talking to her, he looked at me, eyes It didn't seem very friendly, but what did he mean and why did he say that... Finally my speech slowed down and my wife took the opportunity to chime in and she said, dear, he was very drunk at the time Yes, he didn't think so at all, maybe he didn't even know what he was talking about.It sounds ridiculous that many people have similar experiences.But it is true that we have all been troubled by a look, a word, or an expression, and then spent hours guessing.In fact, when you are thinking hard and looking down, the speaker has already forgotten this matter-everyone has his own life, just like we don't pay too much attention to a passerby, we are to others It's just a passerby.

The Return of a Famous Athlete

I don’t know if you still remember the famous tennis player Jennifer Capriati.She has already become the focus of the world tennis world at the age of 14. She grew up under the spotlight of the mass media, and at the same time, she was under the cruel competitive pressure of adult competitions.In the first stage of her career, she reached the semi-finals of three Grand Slams and won the Olympic gold medal in tennis at the 3 Barcelona Olympics.But, from that peak, her career took a steep decline along with her confidence.She didn't play on tour for the next two years and was even speculated to have given up on tennis altogether. In 1992, she was again scandalized by drug arrests and shoplifting.

Her frustration and disillusionment date back to the year before she won the 1992 Barcelona Olympic gold medal and countless other honors.That year, she lost to Monica Silles in the semifinals of a Grand Slam.But in her first doubles match, she took her chances and won the match. "Other than the 1992 Olympics, I've never played that well after that," she said.

After two years of absence and dormancy, Capriati returned to tennis and competed at the highest level.This time, she maintained a peaceful mind and took the original huge pressure very lightly.A reporter reported on her return in USA TODAY: "There seem to be two key factors in Capriati's resurgence -- one, she's stopped caring what people think of her, and two, she's learned not to. Believe that there are still any stains on yourself."
In the final of the 2001 Australian Open, Ta defeated his rival Martini Hingis and won the first Grand Slam championship in his sports career.

You should clearly understand that what other people think of you (whether real or magnified by imagination) is not as important as what you think of yourself!If you can do that, you'll take a huge mental load off your shoulders like this young tennis star did!

what builds your confidence

(End of this chapter)