How can I chat?

Chapter 13 Remembering and Integrating Previous Points
Rules of improvisation: Integrate previous specific points into interactions from different contexts to create hilarious laughs.

What's interesting is that nine out of ten wonderful stories have some kind of repetition.

The so-called repetition here is not a simple repetition of certain story content, but to highlight emotional points through the multiple occurrences of certain specific points.These points are often the finishing touches that make the story wonderful.Because, every time the point is used, it will strengthen the appeal a bit, and then create a better laugh.

Even great artists often reuse certain elements in the same work.They do this not for lack of creativity and imagination, but to accentuate the content, to make it meaningful.This is not uncommon in literature.For example, when the writer keeps mentioning the protagonist's background or love of a certain brand of whiskey, you know that this indicates that these elements will have a significant impact on the following story.

Good improvisers know how to reuse certain points so that, when they are added to a story, two points (the original and the present) are suddenly linked together to the point of laughter.

These seemingly unconnected points are cleverly linked together by the actors to hilarious effect.And the actors, of course, appear smart, sharp and witty as a result.

The chatting skills shared in this chapter are not simply repeated, nor are you limited to the previously effective chat content.

Instead, add the points discussed earlier to the current topic, highlighting your sharpness and wit.If you find yourself saying the same thing over and over in a chat until the other person loses interest, you will improve if you study this chapter well.

It is not difficult to master the technique of properly integrating the points discussed above into the current topic, as long as you understand why and how it works.

why integrate
By repeating the main points from the previous chat, you clearly show the other person that you are listening carefully.

This shows that no matter what the other person says, you pay attention to it and act on it.This is important, as I mentioned earlier, the whole goal of chatting is to get the other person to like you, have a crush on you, relax in your presence and open up to you.

When you repeat certain themes or points from an earlier conversation, you are showing the other person that you are observant and that you really care about the conversation.It makes sense, and you make it clear to the other person that these points are important enough for you to notice and repeat.

Create "inside jokes"

When you reintegrate the other person's words, not only will they feel important, but you will also feel that you have something in common with them.Something happened between you that only you know about.

When you repeat a point, it becomes a starting point for creating humor, sharing wisdom, and gaining goodwill.It's like you've found a point in the conversation where you agree with the other person's perspective.And at this moment, it is no exaggeration to say that no one else can understand this "allusion".

This has huge benefits.Because in today's society, it's easy to feel alienated, distant, like everyone is a stranger.And when you chat with someone, you have a similar opinion somewhere, which makes the other person more willing to open up to you.

Once you can create a connection based on your interactions and create moments that are just for you both, the barriers that stand between us and other people become vulnerable.

control direction
When you reintegrate or repeat certain points from a previous chat, you have the ability to change the direction of the chat.If you want to go back to that earlier point, you can easily move on to that topic now.

By limiting the conversation to what has been talked about, you create an air of familiarity.It's really the best of both worlds.Introducing new content keeps the chat from becoming unsustainable, while at the same time, the topic of the chat is fairly familiar so that the new chat direction doesn't come across as unfriendly, or completely deviate from the original topic.

Counterintuitively, this repetition saves the chat from being tedious.It lets the other person know that you actually value what they have to say.Through your careful observation, you give them the impression that you value them and what they share.This can help you form a deeper connection with the other person.

Finally, make the chat fun

This chapter may be a bit abstract and vague, but all the above are techniques on how to rehash previous or interesting or powerful points and integrate them into the current topic, without examples.

This technique is extremely important, but what effect it has, what humor it produces, is best illustrated by example.

For example, you and your friend are chatting about puppies.At this time, you found that he had never really hugged the puppy, but just admired it from a distance.This could constitute an emotional point.Because, come to think of it, this phenomenon is somewhat startling, and somewhat comical.So, that's the gist of what you might want to integrate.

Then, the conversation turns to the roller coaster, specifically how your friends like it.How would you incorporate the part about puppies?
You can put the two together in a fancy way: "I guess you must spend all your time on the roller coaster, so you're ignoring the cute puppy at the amusement park..."

Another example, you are talking about coffee, and you reveal that you don't like coffee very much.Use this as an emotional point for the chat.The conversation then turned to the cleanliness of public bathrooms.So, you can integrate like this: Claim yourself to be harmless to public bathrooms because you don't drink coffee (coffee is a diuretic and makes you want to pee).

practise:

Have a chat with your friends and have a pen and paper ready.Note as many emotional points in the chat as you can, and record them for reference.Next, jot down all the topics you talked about afterwards.

Think about all the emotional points listed and how they can be integrated with the topics that follow like in the example.It may seem like a strange exercise, but that's how unthinking improvisation comes, and unless you practice it now, you'll never get it.

Chapter Thirteen: Yes, We Emphasize Practice

Rules of improvisation: Actors are called contestants and acting is considered a sport because, like any sport, each individual must practice to be at his or her best.

In this book, I've listed some suggestions and techniques that will go a long way toward mastering the art of chatting.Just don't expect instant results from them.

Some things can be put into practice immediately...but in the end, you have to understand that to be really good at something, you have to practice, practice, practice.

1 minute on stage, ten years off stage.All talents require training and persistent effort.It is like sports that require training, and sometimes it takes time to see results.

What do improv actors need to practice?

Seizing the moment, reacting to others, dealing with specific situations and topics, what is your comfort zone, what you are good at and what you are not good at, reading others... Because the interaction between people is full of variables, they The practice required is simply never-ending.

So, you're still looking forward to chatting, an event that includes all the same elements as improvisation, is it going to be easy?
You also have to keep in mind that just because you're on home plate doesn't mean you'll hit the ball.A lot of times, before you hit a home run, you have to go through some failures.These failures are the tuition you pay.And there is a price to pay for developing great chat skills.

Intrinsic motivation gives you strength

If there's any advantage to learning your chat skills through improvisation, it's this: You'll end up with more motivation.

That is, by simply repeating, you pave the way to success.The training of chatting skills means that you have to get up again and again and try again and again.Sooner or later, you will find that you no longer fall easily.This infuses you with extra confidence, which is a key part of the skill set.

It's the difference between a great chatter and a half-assed loser.

Poor chatter isn't all wrong.Their hardware configuration is not inferior, and they also have the ability to shine.They lack only one thing: they don't want to try again and again when they fail.After experiencing discomfort, strangeness, and embarrassment, they are unwilling to bear it and face it any longer.

You have to learn to regain confidence in mistakes and learn from them.Remember, the difference between a winner and a loser is that the former know that success means having to get back up.After all, what is the immediate negative impact?So what about a few minutes of embarrassment and embarrassment?What's the price compared to using your chat skills to change your life?
The losers, on the contrary, give up, retreat, die down.In reality, the only path to failure is to give up.You can still be successful as long as you have the chance.

Keep in mind that not everything will turn out as planned, but as long as you keep practicing, you will keep learning new things and eventually build up some momentum.

You can't become a master overnight.Whether it's making more money, becoming a more confident person or a better speaker or better chatter, it doesn't happen overnight.It's not like going to the store and picking something from the shelf, paying the bill and leaving.

The chatting skills I talk about can help you change from the inside and make you better at communicating.They will change the way you chat, the way you judge others, and your relationships.External changes mostly occur after internal changes.

That's why you need patience.If you want to be better at chatting, you also need to become more emotionally stable and respectful of other people's feelings.

acquisition of skills
Just like any other skill, it's not always easy to improve.The more you practice, the more likely you are to reach new heights.However, as I said earlier, this is not an idea.

What you can plan is how much time, effort and energy to put in.

You have to give yourself plenty of time to hone your skills.Especially when learning a brand new skill, you may start from a low level, but as long as you give yourself enough practice time, you can still do well.So, please think of chat skills as just another new skill.

If you can improve your shooting skills, you can also improve your chat skills.It's just a question of how much time you put in, how much effort you put in, and how eager you are to acquire the skill.

Malcolm Gladwell has always preached the value of the 10-hour rule, which means that mastering a skill typically takes 000 hours of practice.This is a process and there are no shortcuts.Where are you at in the process?

willingness and immediate feedback

The most important and most underestimated factor in making practice effective is how much immediate feedback you get during the practice.

It's the only thing that will tell if you've gone off track, how to get back on track, and what the best practice is.

This is a problem that many people have when they practice.Their practice lacks purpose and is simply repeated over and over.But such exercises, far from being fruitful, reinforce bad habits.

Practice must be purposeful, and you must be clear about what you are doing and what you should strive to achieve.It's much easier to practice if you have a partner who can help you practice, give you feedback, and ideally know where you're going.

It's also the only way you'll get immediate feedback.Immediate feedback is important because the longer feedback is delayed for practice, the less effective it is.By then people have forgotten what they were trying to do, and cannot tell the difference between the right way and their habits.Being able to see immediate results is vital to building a practitioner's confidence.

For example, you want to learn how to shoot a basketball.Think about it, would it be more helpful if a coach was there to watch you shoot, immediately correct and make sure you were practicing the right way, than to have the coach listen to you a week later and try to correct it verbally?

practise:

Hey, doesn't this book give enough exercises to practice your social and chat skills?There is nothing more useful than direct practice!
(End of this chapter)