How can I chat?

Chapter 9 Don't go back to the starting point of the chat

The rules of improvisational drama: keep moving the interaction forward, stagnation means failure.

As mentioned before, one of the secrets to successful improvisation is to never think in advance when and what to say.In doing so, you could fail miserably if you strayed even slightly from your original course.The correct approach is to just want a rough framework and play by ear in the details.

At the same time, don't presuppose a fixed goal in advance, such as having the interaction solve a specific problem, or address a specific position or topic.This is also very important.

Otherwise, it's not really improvisation.It is the open-ended nature of the ending of an impromptu drama that makes it so engaging and entertaining.

Successful improvisation always leads to a certain point.After the performance, the audience applauded enthusiastically, because they also felt that point.They have a sense of fulfillment, a feeling that this is an end point because they've moved from point A to point B and completed all the necessary parts of a story, or a journey.

The best improv groups make the hours you spend have some kind of direction and purpose.The ending, while not preset, does give a sense of closure.Everyone feels that what has been done and what has been achieved.And that's very different from getting a certain answer or getting to a certain place.

If you want to apply the rules of improvisational drama and strive to improve your ability to chat, it is best to subconsciously imply the direction and purpose of your chat.

Only in this way can all the people participating in the chat feel that the chat has achieved some meaning.In other words, there was clearly some kind of positive emotional response after the chat.Nothing was left unresolved, and everyone had something to gain from the chat.

Make good use of the "routine of hero stories"

Joseph Campbell is a famous anthropologist.

Joseph Campbell teaches at an Ivy League school and studies the important myths of all the world's major religions.According to Professor Campbell, great myths have something in common.These myths work no matter who their audience is because they happen to fit certain classic theories.A classic theory that Professor Campbell likes to articulate is "the formula of the heroic story".

Whether it's Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, Greek mythology, or Hindu mythology, it's the same elements that work.The hero of the story starts at point A, and then some circumstances arise and he has to go to point B.Going back from point B to point A, there are conflicts and resolutions that make the hero a hero forever.

Professor Campbell believes that people around the world will be very predictable how they will react to "the formula of a hero story".Because we all go through these stages in our lives, and we all go through these important life nodes: involving growth, facing fears, becoming a new self, overcoming adverse factors, and coping with changes.

Change is the only constant truth. "The Routine of Heroic Stories" can well explain why people from different parts of the world, with different cultural backgrounds, classes and education levels, treat the same phenomenon in almost the same way.

Why discuss Professor Campbell's "The Routine of a Heroic Story"?Because great stories and good conversations are also journeys that don’t end in the same place, they all point to something, they all have conflicts that need to be resolved and pressures that need to be eased.

A true story draws you in because you bring your own story into it.You can go from A to B with the protagonist of the story.Whatever their experiences, resonate with your own situations and problems.Great chatters know this.

That's why they always exaggerate their emotional signals when they tell stories or chat, especially the unique parts of the "hero story formula": point A (that is, their starting point), their journey, conflict, and how the hero is. Changed during the journey to B.

You can apply this "hero story formula" to any chat topic.

Take steak, for example.You mentioned steak (point A), then explain what made you mention steak on this occasion.Next, talk about how this made you feel differently about your steak, or how it changed your perspective on you or your steak.If you find that you can't apply this to your steak story, then your steak story is pretty much pointless.

Another example, a story about shopping for shoes, you start by telling the current state of your shoes, what made you want to buy a new pair, the difficulties you had in choosing new shoes, and how much better they were than the old pair .

Think it seems unnecessary to use the hero story routine in every sentence and every story?You might think so at first, but slowly you realize how hollow and meaningless many of your interactions and conversations are.

The routine of hero stories can actually make your every sentence, every statement, and every story have flesh and blood, real and sensible.

Chat should be like an action movie

We don't watch movies to find things that are similar to our daily life.

Imperfect, extraordinary things tend to attract people's attention.It's the unusual, out-of-the-ordinary characters that catch our eye.

Keep this in mind as you tell your story.Because the unusual element is the flavoring.

Let's face it: If you're going to watch a movie about someone else's life, you don't want to see the blandness of going to the bathroom and eating toast.

Instead, you want unique, funny, over-the-top plots.You look forward to discovering deep conflicts, bizarre events, and strange characters.You look forward to breaking the stagnation and transcending the ordinary.

Same goes for chatting.Chat should come from life, but not too ordinary.A pleasant chat can always focus on the things worth talking about, filter out the dull content, and only focus on the attractive content.

Even if you work in a library (your life might be the opposite of an action movie), you can use this method to your advantage with your own action scenes.In other words, in the past week or month, everyone has had some interesting things, so prepare these things in advance.It's at your fingertips when someone asks how your weekend was.

You can also make life feel more like an action movie by answering slightly different questions.For example, if someone asks you, "How was your weekend?" it doesn't have to be taken literally as the most recent weekend, but you can answer something like, "This weekend was a bit uneventful, but a few weeks ago, my uncle came to my house and brought lost his pet boa constrictor! It's incredible..."

There are many ways to prevent interactions and conversations from stalling.Standing still is one of the underlying reasons for suboptimal interactions, but we all do it — standing still is a lazy person's way of communicating, and chatting like this requires the least amount of effort.

Improv is all about creating a structure where people collaborate and work together to create an emotional journey where everyone finds a connection to their own lives and can’t help but respond.

practise:

Remember a certain story someone told you recently.If that's a good story, what makes it a good story?Did you enjoy hearing this story?Now, pay attention to the next story told by someone else. Do you like this story?Are you emotionally invested in this story?

Obviously, storytelling is all about delivering a message, but the specific emotional value and emotional journey that a story brings to people is also important.What is the purpose of the story, and has it changed you?See if any of these relate directly to the parts of the story you're interested in?

(End of this chapter)