Learn about child psychology every day 2: Before the age of 8, you can help your child acquire a goo

Chapter 27
Many parents are very distressed that their children are too slow, lazy, and always do things slowly and waste time, especially in self-care aspects such as dressing and eating.Facing such children, how should parents guide them so that the slow-moving children have their own "concept of time"?

baby laziness test

Does your baby have a sense of time?Do a test to know:
1. Do your children wake up quickly (less than 5 minutes)?

A. fast B. not fast
2. Do your children need you to urge them to do things, and often fail to complete them?
A. No B. Yes
3. Does your child have the bad habit of forgetting things?

A. No B. Yes

4. Do you often help your children pack their school bags or toy boxes?
A. No B. Yes
5. Will your children help you with housework?
A. Yes B. No
6. Do you think your child is slow in doing things?

A. No B. Yes

7. Do you or people around you often say that your child is "slow"?

A. No B. Yes
8. Is your child always inattentive when doing things?
A. No B. Yes
Now, please count your options and test results:

"Super lazy" child: In the test answer, if item A only appears 0-2 times, it means that your child may already be a typical "lazy" and "slow".What other children can do in 5 minutes takes him 10 minutes or more.No matter how much you urge him, he is not in a hurry.

"Ordinary lazy" children: in the test answer, if item A appears 3 to 5 times, it means that your child has a tendency to be lazy and slow. serious.

"Non-lazy" children: In the test answer, if item A appears 6-8 times, congratulations, your child has no bad habits of being lazy or slow, and you don't have to worry about it for the time being.

1. Lingling always dawdles when she wakes up

——Correct the baby's chronicity
"Lingling, wake up soon. It's already 8 o'clock. If you don't get up, you will be late." Lingling's mother hurriedly helped Lingling pack her schoolbag and prepare breakfast, and called Lingling to get up.

"Mom, let me sleep a little longer, I'm so sleepy."

"No, I'm going to be late soon, hurry up!"

Five minutes later, Lingling still didn't get up.Mom started urging again.

After 10 minutes, Lingling put on a piece of clothes, but she lay on the bed and read a comic book, and then started looking for toys after a while.

"Lingling, it's already 8:[-], you're going to be late, the teacher should scold you." Lingling's mother felt a little helpless.But Lingling remained indifferent.

Mother went into battle in person and helped Lingling put on her trousers and shoes.But because she was too anxious and hurt Lingling, Lingling burst into tears and yelled not to go to the kindergarten.

When the tossing was over, it was almost 9 o'clock. In order not to be late, I had to eat breakfast on the road.But Lingling was still more than ten minutes late.

"Getting out of bed is like fighting a war, kid, why do you always get up so grumpy?"

Case in-depth analysis
The reason why Lingling took so long to get up was obviously procrastinating or slow in doing things, which annoyed her parents very much.

And it's not just Lingling's parents who have this trouble.Because around us, there are many slow-tempered children like Lingling.Children are slow-tempered, so they are naturally slow in doing things, but children are slow in doing things, not just because of their slow temper.

Children do things slowly, which is related to their growth characteristics.For example, in the period of infants and young children, no matter what children do, they are slow and slow. This is a common phenomenon in the growth process of children (the process of brain and body development), and some children have temper due to slow growth and development. Slow, clumsy, poor coordination.

Besides that, there are some reasons:
(1) It is in the stage of action development.

Usually, children in the stage of motor development will have inflexible and uncoordinated performance of their hands and feet, which is due to the incoordination of their neuromuscular activities.

(2) Affected by temperament.

Generally speaking, children of the quiet and slow type also move slowly.On the other hand, if the child is naturally generous and more mature, he will think twice before acting, and he will have a lot of thoughts when doing things. Such children will also move slowly because of being too cautious.

(3) Inattention.

Children are very interested in everything around them. Children before the age of 3 will always forget what is at hand because they are attracted by what is in front of them.For example, in the case of Lingling, in the process of getting up and getting dressed, her attention was attracted by comic books and toys, so a lot of time was wasted.

(4) Lack of interest.

Lack of interest in certain things is also one of the important reasons for children to procrastinate.For example, if a child is not interested in drawing, if parents force the child to draw, there will be a situation where he can't draw well for a day.On the contrary, if a child is interested in cartoons, he may watch one episode after another, and finish it in a few days.

(5) Adverse environmental effects.

The family environment has a great influence on children.If a parent or other family member is slow, nine out of ten children will be slow too.Because they are used to eating slowly and drinking water slowly.After a long time, I get used to procrastinating when doing things.

psychologist advice
Many parents have this kind of distress. They wake up in the morning and want to go out early, but the child is slow. The more you talk about it, the slower it is.

If the child moves slowly because of being cautious, parents should not be too anxious.Because most of these children are serious and efficient in doing things.In addition, children are slower than adults.Sometimes it is because the speed that the adult expects cannot be reached, and sometimes it is because the adult's request has not been responded to adequately, so the adult will think that the child is too slow.But for kids, it's very normal.

If the child is slow to do things and react slowly because of his slow temper, parents should pay more attention.Because early childhood is an important period for motor development, children with slow movements are prone to inflexible and uncoordinated behaviors, which will affect their future physical and intellectual development, as well as their ability to take care of themselves in life.

How should parents be guided?

(1) Competition Law.

Parents can compete with their children, such as who can dress faster, who can make the quilt faster, and who can wash the face faster.At the same time, parents should design a "competition" score sheet for their children, and record the completion time every day.If there is progress, reward is given, if there is no progress, no reward is given.

(2) Situational experience method.

If the child is slow to do things, such as staying in bed, the parents don't have to wake him up, and let him be late once on purpose.When he was criticized by the teacher for being late and tasted the bitter fruit of procrastination, he would think about speeding up in the future.

(3) Rule effect.

Parents can set up some rules for slow children, such as stipulating that children finish their breakfast within half an hour, and if they exceed the time limit, they will be charged; if children cannot finish washing their face within 5 minutes, they will put away the washbasin, and are not allowed to watch cartoons, so that children will eat quickly , Wash your face.

(4) Exercise children more.

Let the children do their own things.For example, let the child get up, dress, and put on shoes by himself.Practice makes perfect, and the speed of doing things will naturally be faster.It is also necessary to take the children to do more sports to enhance the children's reaction ability and physical flexibility, such as playing badminton, table tennis, and skipping rope.

Stone of Other Mountains
Mother's name: Zhou Meimei
Occupation: Company Clerk

Daughter's name: Pepe, 5 years old

Pepe is 5 years old. Like many children, she always procrastinates in doing things.For this reason, I got angry with her a lot, but with little success.

One day, Pepe and I were going out to play and let her change her own clothes.When she heard that she was going to play, she readily agreed, and began to rummage through the cabinets to find clothes.

But half an hour later, Pepe didn't even find the clothes to wear, and she was still sitting on the ground dressing the dolls!
Now I was so angry that I threw the doll into the box and scolded Pepe to get dressed quickly, otherwise she would not be allowed to go out for a week.Pepe was terrified by me, and wept blankly, not daring to do anything.We didn't go anywhere that day.

How to change this situation?Later, I realized that in the eyes of children, time may not run out.So, I decided to let her know the consequences of procrastination.

I have three chapters with her:
No stories until 08:30 p.m.;

You cannot have breakfast if you do not wake up before 07:30 in the morning;

If you don't finish your homework within two hours, you can't watch "Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf";
……

In the first few days, she could still persist, but gradually she couldn't do it anymore.That day, two homework problems were not completed for three hours.I decisively turned off the TV and announced that no one was allowed to watch it.Pepe saw that I was serious, and hurriedly finished my homework for me to watch, wanting to watch TV again.I shook my head: "You're out of time, you can't watch TV. Now it's bed time, and there is no chance to listen to stories if you don't sleep."

Peipei wanted to cry aggrievedly, but seeing that I ignored her, she had no choice but to go to bed.I kept my promise and told her stories.

After tasting the bitter fruit of procrastination, Pepe's sense of time was much stronger, and the habit of procrastination was gradually corrected.

2. Write two words in half an hour

——Children have no concept of time, how to guide them

"Niuniu, hurry up and do your homework, dinner will be in a while."

As soon as Niuniu came home, her mother was urging her to do her homework, because she spent two or three hours almost every day to complete her homework.There is not much homework, but she likes to procrastinate and has no sense of time.

Half an hour later, my mother's dinner was ready, so I went to Niuniu's room to see, but I saw Niuniu lying on the ground playing with a bunch of pencil ends.

"Niuniu, have you finished your homework?" Mom asked.

"Come on, Mom." Niu Niu said.

"The meal is ready, let me see how much you have written." Mom said as she took her homework and began to check it.But I flipped through it, but I didn't see where the so-called homework was. There were only two words written in the notebook.

"This is your homework? You wrote two words in half an hour?" Mom couldn't help but get angry.

"I..." Niuniu wanted to quibble.

"What about me, it seems that you don't want to eat today." Mom slapped the homework book in front of Niuniu, and Niuniu burst into tears in fright.

This kind of situation happens almost every day, but Niuniu hasn't changed anything.

Case in-depth analysis
Writing two words in half an hour, any parent will get angry when encountering this situation.But apart from getting angry, parents should reflect more, why does this happen to their children?It's very simple, because children don't have a clear concept of time.

Nine out of ten children are slow, the emperor is not in a hurry and the eunuchs are in a hurry.But it’s useless to be anxious. We must first understand the reasons why children lack the concept of time.

Usually, children do not have time awareness in their infancy, especially before the age of 5, so it is normal to have no time concept.Because they have no concept of time, many children love to dawdle. It takes half an hour to pack their schoolbags and half an hour to get dressed... If these children are really allowed to do it by themselves, it is estimated that a day will pass.

In addition, what other reasons make children do things slowly?The specific analysis is as follows:

(1) Short attention span.

Children are different from adults in that their attention span is relatively short, so there will be a situation of "doing and stopping".For example, Niuniu in the case, when doing homework, her attention was attracted by toys, so she only wrote two words in half an hour.

(2) The influence of bad habits.

Many children habitually distract themselves while doing things.They will pay attention to any disturbance around them.Even if the surrounding environment is quiet, they will look for trouble.In addition, the bad habits of parents will also have a bad influence on the children, such as chatting while eating, watching TV while working, etc., which set a bad example for the children.

(3) There is a lack of planning in doing things.

Children often do things as soon as they think of them, without system and planning, so they are easy to be attracted by the environment.Even when parents set a time for their children, it doesn't matter.

psychologist advice
There are many reasons why children do things slowly, and the lack of time concept is one of the reasons.Children lack the concept of time, so they naturally have no sense of urgency.Therefore, if you want to change your child's slow behavior, you need to start by helping your child develop a sense of time.

How to cultivate children's sense of time and let them have a sense of urgency?There are many ways, such as buying an alarm clock with beautiful patterns and cute shapes for the child, and telling the child where the hour hand should get up, where it should go to sleep, and when it should turn off the TV.

In addition, there are several ways parents can:

(1) Parents lead by example.

It is very important for parents to lead by example. If they agree to go to bed at ten o'clock in the evening, parents must go to bed on time. They cannot delay going to bed because of a good TV series, otherwise it is not conducive to children's change of slow behavior.

(2) Time separation method.

In view of the short attention span of children, parents can use the method of "separating time" to achieve their goals when asking their children to do something.For example, for an assignment that is estimated to take an hour to complete, you can divide the time into three sections of 20 minutes each.Rest for 5 or 10 minutes in between.In this way, the child can concentrate on doing homework within the specified time.Of course, the goal can also be achieved by decomposing the workload.For example, if there are 12 math problems, it can be stipulated to take a 4-minute break every time you finish 10 problems, and then do the next 4 problems.

(3) Complementary companions.

For children who are slow, you can let them have more contact with friends who are more impatient and do things in a hurry.In this way, children will be influenced by their peers, and then actively imitate impatient children to do things.Over time, things will naturally become faster.

(4) Use rule effects.

Rules are hard to come by.The same is true for cultivating children's concept of time.Parents should set rules for their children early, for example, get up at 7 o'clock in the morning, and only when you get up can you listen to stories.If the child is really slow, the parents can help a little, but it must not be arranged.

(5) Do the important things first.

Parents want their children to understand that they must do the most important things first.For example, the child does not want to wash his face in the morning.Parents will tell him that this is the most important thing after getting up, and ask him to finish it within a few minutes.The usual little bit of training can gradually make children realize that the importance of things can be sorted.In this way, children will have a sense of urgency and time when doing things.

Stone of Other Mountains
Mother's name: Annie

Occupation: full-time mother

Son's name: Chuanchuan, 5 years old

My son is smart and cute, and it would be even better if he wasn't naughty.But this is just an extravagant wish, because he has no concept of time at all, and everything he does is procrastinated and disorganized, which makes people anxious to death.

One day, a friend of mine got married and the wedding was scheduled for 11 o'clock.I discussed with Chuanchuan that we will start at 9:10 and arrive at the scene at [-]:[-].In order to attract his attention, I specifically said: "Go early, we will have candy to eat, otherwise it will be eaten by others, and it will not be our turn."

After Chuanchuan heard this, he readily agreed.But before leaving, this little guy was still playing alone, and didn't take my words to heart at all.The more I urged him, the more he refused to leave.Seeing that I was angry, he lay down on the ground and made trouble again.We ended up being the last ones to arrive that day.

In order to change his bad habits, I decided to guide him.

At the beginning, I first looked for the reason from myself, to see if I was procrastinating.And it is true.Then, I discussed with Chuanchuan and made a schedule for him, when to go to bed, do homework, and watch TV, so that he has rules to follow.In the end, I also found him a good partner: his cousin.This little guy has a good sense of time, and he has very good self-control, and can complete the prescribed things within the prescribed time.Under his influence, Chuan Chuan's lack of sense of time has improved significantly.Going out now is not as difficult as it used to be.

3. Yingying couldn't find her homework book

- How to help children improve their self-care ability

Yingying is 6 years old this year and has already gone to elementary school, but she still can't change her habit of forgetting things.No, I forgot to bring my homework a few days ago.

"Yingying, you haven't handed in your homework yet." The teacher said to Yingying.

(End of this chapter)